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===Panties and Monkeys===

Our tale begins a long, long time ago in a gala-'''ahem'''-in a forest deep within the mountains, thousands of kilometers away from the nearest city...Y'know, the kind of place stories like these usually start.

We begin with a young-looking lad rolling a large log down a mountain trail, greeting all the playful monkeys he comes across.  Perhaps they mistake him for one, given the hairy tail he has protruding from his backside.  He continues until he reaches a one-story, one-room building sitting smack-dab in the middle of the forest.  The little, tailed guy then lays down his circle of wood and braces himself, as if he were taking a fighting stance.

"EYAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"  He grabs the log, easily three times his size, and throws it up into the air!  But, not a second later, he jumps into the sky after it, fist clenched and arm outstretched!

'''BAKOKOkoko...!!''' In a flurry of punches and kicks, the monkey man breaks the once giant log into mere firewood!  Each piece falls down, clumsily landing on the ground, while our mighty wood-shatterer lands feet-first with nary a scratch.

"Alright!  I'm all done chopping the wood!" He exclaims as he gathers his winnings.  "One chore down, only a few more to-" '''gurgle''' "I guess it'll have to wait 'till after breakfast."

The lad enters his small abode; grabs a red, sheathed pole; and ties it onto himself with some string as if it were a sword he carried on his back.  Before leaving, he walks up to a glassy, orange ball resting on top of a small, purple pillow both atop a dresser.  "Grandpa, I'm going out to get some food; be back in a bit."  And with that, he's off.

"Boy, what am I gonna have to eat today!  I had bear earlier...maybe I can find a tiger somewhere." '''Whoooooosh...''' The kid's journey through the forest comes to a temporary halt as he comes across a cliffside with a waterfall flowing right next to him.  "I guess it's been a while since I've had fish.  Can't hurt to change that!"  So, the dexterous chimp jumps off the cliff to follow the flow of water, grabs a branch on his way down, and swings off towards the river.

The plan is simple, stick his tail a bit in the water to act as a lure for a hungry fish.  First, however, he has to disrobe completely.  So he doesn't get wet?  Once he puts the tip of his tail in the river, it doesn't take long before a giant, carnivorous-toothed fish spots the hairy trap.  "Well well, what do we have here?  A monkey?  Some stray cat?  No matter.  Whatever it is, it will be breakfast in a second!"

Right before the hungry creature can bite the tail, the appendage quickly shoots up back out of the water.  Too determined to catch a meal, the aquatic monster leaps straight up into the air!  "Alright!  You look tasty!"  The boy flies through the air, leg out, ready to fight for some grub.  "HiyAAAAAAAA!!!" '''CRUNCH!!''' With a swift blow to the skull, the fish's lifeless body falls to the ground, finally giving the strong warrior something to eat, and something to sing about.  "A big fish!!  A big fish!  I just caught a big fish!!"

----

Deep within the same forest in the same mountains, a young woman steps out of her jeep, overlooking the foreboding terrain.  "Where is it?  The radar says it should be around here..."  She focuses her sights on the green, gridded radar in her hand. '''PING''' With one press of the button on top of the device, one of the little, blinking, yellow dots suddenly shifts leftward.  "Okay, so it's a little more to the west.  Got it."  Apparently content, the woman re-enters her vehicle and races off down the mountain trail.

"Heeheehee...with three down I'll practically be halfway there!  Halfway to a new boyfriend...  I wonder if I can ask for a custom one?  Should he be smart?  Classy?  Maybe a bad boy, with like a leather jacket!  Nah, probably not a leather jacket.  He still has to be handsome, though.  But what kind of handsome?

"If I only get one wish, I gotta make sure he's exactly like how I want!  I've gotta think of his hair color, his eye color, his skin tone, how muscular he is, how big he is, how-!  H-How big he'd be...down there..."  Her eyes slowly peer off of the road and onto nothing in particular as a large smile forms on her face.  "I-I could make him just long enough so he'd hit right where I like it, when he'd go all in... Or even longer!  Just so I can f-feel what that's like...  M-Maybe I could make it taste like strawberries, so I wouldn't mind giving him head!  I could even wish for him to be naked, so that right after he confesses his love to me, under the moonlit sky, he'd take me in for a huge French kiss and...and...

"Gyuuuuuhuehuehuehue..."  With drool going down her chin, the daydreamer completely ignores the short guy dragging a huge fish behind him in the middle of the road until he becomes close enough for his screams of terror to finally register.  "Oh, SHIT!"  Mere seconds pass before the jeep is turned perpendicular to the road and screeches to a janky halt right before becoming a tool in vehicular manslaughter.

The sparred victim catches his breath.  "Whew,  wh-what is that thing?  It was going so fast!"  Suddenly, a red, severely angry head emerges with a clenched fist alongside it, yelling what can only be described as really loud and really profane.  The head seems to be staring right at him and his fish.  "Hey!  You're after my catch, aren't you, you big ugly monster!?"  He grabs under the side of the mighty metallic beast and musters all his strength to lift it over his head.  "Nnf!  Y-You won't g-g-get away with...my...meal!

"TEEEEHHH!!!"  In one clean motion, the titanic villian flies forward through the air, smashing into the ground!  Armed and ready, the fighter unsheaths his pole, holds it with both hands in front of him, and yells, "Bring it on!"  The head from before emerges, revealing a second arm with which she holds some sort of magical, hand-held artifact.  "Ah-ha!  I see there was some kind of witch in there!"

"You...brat!" '''Bam! Bam!''' Flashes of light appear out of the end of the artifact!

'''Pow! Pow!''' Two invisible hits make contact with the now prone fighter.  "OWWWWWIE! OWWWWWIE!  What was that?  Evil demon magic!?"

The witch's eyes widen and her mouth falls agape.  "N...NO WAY!  You just got shot; wh-why are you not dead!?"

"You dummy!  I've trained all my life to make my body as strong as it can be!  That weak little bit of magic ain't 'nuff to put me down!"  He pulls himself back onto his feet and readies his weapon.  "Now demon, take this!"

The cowering demon drops her firearm and raises both hands.  "H-Hold on! Stop! I'm not a demon; I'm human!!"

"Really?  A human!?"

"Yes! Yes! See!?"  She climbs out of the wreckage.  "I'm human; just like you...(I think)"

"Don't!...you move a muscle now."  He takes a good look at her from all angles to see if she checks out.  She stands almost twice as tall as her observer, but that would still be just over five foot.  Every strand of hair is blue, with a ribbon knotted on top of her head and even more hair tied up into a rope behind it; pretty odd for a 'human' to have so much hair hanging down.  She has something purple on her neck, purple socks, blue shoes, a satchel tied to her waist, but no pants for some reason.  Despite that, her shirt is way too long, reaching even past where her balls should be; otherwise, it's orange, striped, and has 'BULMA' written on it over her lumpy, misshapen chest.  She doesn't look too much like a monster, but for a human, she definitely looks weird.

With not much else to do, the observed young woman looks down and takes note of her attacker's appearance.  He's a short kid with wide eyes but an angered expression at the moment.  His black hair is a complete mess, spiking out in all different directions.  He's garbed in a simple, blue shirt and pants with a white belt tied around it and holding a long, red pole at the moment as a means of prodding while keeping some distance.  "Are you done staring yet?  I don't look that weird from other humans.  You better not just be checking me out.  I mean, I can't blame you, but I'm really in a hurry now so-"

Before she's finished, her sentence is stopped by the feeling of her dress being lifted up by a stick.  "''So there's her pants!''"  The spiky-haired boy thought.

"EEE!!"  She quickly pushes her dress back down while the short one hops back in surprise.  Her eyes close, eyebrows lower, and teeth grit hard as her face boils into a vibrant red; her anger only held back by the knowledge of how strong her opponent is.  Still, she can't ignore her accelerated heart rate and the adrenaline in her veins.  "I'm pretty sure you don't need to see my panties to tell I'm human..."

"''What a weird way to say pants...''"

"Well!  Are you gonna let me go or not!?"

"I dunno, you still seem different from me.  You look soft and really weak."

"Of course I am.  You're some superhuman freak while I'm just a delicate young girl."

"What!  You're really a girl!?"

"You're more feral than I thought.  You've really never seen a girl before?"

"Nuh-uh!  I haven't seen another human in a while, not since my grandpa died.  But he always said that if I ever met a girl that I should be nice to her."

"Well you're not off to a good start.  But..."  The (apparently) girl flashes a small, sultry smile and stands in a tad cuter pose, "I suppose I could look past that, so long as you make it up to me." '''''wink'''''

"I guess girls don't have tails, huh?"  As her acts are ignored, the newly discovered human finally recognizes the long, hairy appendage sticking out of the boy's ass.  "Grandpa didn't have one either, though..."

"''Pfft, what's with this guy, attaching some kinda fake tail to himself?  Does he think it's cool or something?  Ha! What a dork.''"

"By the way, if you're not a demon, than what was that monster you were riding?  How did you catch it?

"That's a car, kid.  It's a machine.  Y'know? Like the ones made by people?"

"So this is a car, huh!?  Hmmm, it looks cool, but it doesn't put up much of a fight.  I've only ever heared of these from stories about the city; is that where you're from?"

"Yeah, it's faaar west from here, though."

The mysterious, monkey-tailed warrior picks back up his fishy dinner and hoists it into his arms.  He looks back over and says with a gruff, old-man impression, "Well, a pretty, young, city-slickin' lass shouldn't be out here by herself!"  His accent ends.  "Grandpa always said that in his stories.  Since you're a girl, you should come over to my house to eat!  I'll even give you some of my catch."

"Oh I see, you're done trying to assault me, so now you're just gonna butter me up and get my guard down while in your home, eh?"

"Ha Ha Ha!!  You don't butter people; you butter food!"  He turns back forward and begins walking.  "You city people have strange jokes."

"...You better not do anything weird."  So, the city-slickin' lass follows down the trail behind the monkey kid with the food.  "Y'know, you're really strong.  I wouldn't expect as much from a small guy like you."

"Hee Hee... You ain't seen nothin' yet!  Grandpa trained me to be the best I could be!"

"''Wish he trained better manners into you.  Still, this kid could come in real handy for my journey.  Now that I know my gun can't handle everything out here, it'd be good to have him around to deal with that kind of stuff.''"
----
The duo finally make it back to the only abode within the entire forest.  The boy sets his fish down on the ground while his guest comments, "I dunno what I was expecting, but this is just pitiful.  Calling this a shed might be too generous."

"Wait out here for a minute;  I gotta tell Grandpa you're here."

"Your grandpa?  ''Didn't he die, though?  Maybe this kid has, like, a shrine or something.  Hicks can be pretty religious, after all.''"

He opens the door and walks over to the dresser with the small, glass orb on it.  "Grandpa, Grandpa look!  I found another human!  And it's a girl!  I bought home a girl Grandpa!"

"AAAAAAHHHHH!!!  It's the dragonball!!"  Instead of waiting outside, Ms. Blue Hair rushes forward so fast even the mighty monkey lad is knocked down.  "To think you were here all along!  I'm so happy I found you!  Huehuehuehue...!"  Almost on the verge of drooling, she begins pawing at the kid's precious trinket and staring at it harder than she wished guys would stare at her.

"Hey!!!  Back off of Grampa!!  Girls aren't allowed to touch him!!"

She immediately drops Grandpa and reaches into her satchel, trying her best not to anger a potentially powerful foe.  "Woah Woah! Easy now...  I can explain."  Out of the satchel, two orange, glassy orbs seemingly identical to the one on the dresser are pulled out.  "Look, see!?"

"Wah!?  T-Two... You have two Grandpas!?"

"They're not Grandpas; they're called dragonballs!"

"So some poor dragon lost these?"

"I doubt it.  I found one of them in my cellar one day, and I was curious to know what it was.  So I asked some professors around town and called people all around the world, but no one seemed to know.  After doing a lot of research, digging through every research journal and historical document, I finally came across an ancient text that described what it was I found.  It was a dragonball, and it said there were seven in all, each one having a different number of stars in them."

The kid holds his grandpa in his hands and closely peers into him.  Inside the surrounding orange he finds bright, red stars clumped together around the center.  "You're right.  This one has four stars."

"That means that one's the suushinchuu, the four-star ball.  The one in my cellar was the arushinchuu, two-star ball.  The second one I found had five stars, making it the uushinchuu.  I found it ten days ago in a valley north of here.  Collecting these was pretty hard, and I doubt the next four are gonna be any easier."

"You're collecting them all?  What for?  You gonna make a cool-lookin' rosary out of them?"

"As if.  The text I read said that if you collect all seven and recite some magic words, the god of all dragons, Shenlong, will appear and grant any wish you want!  I even read the last one to wish upon the dragon became king!"

"S-So my grandpa can grant wishes!!"

"Only one wish.  After the last person's wish was made, the dragonballs were scattered all over the world.  That's why I have to go and collect them all!  And I already know what that wish is gonna be!  I originally wanted an endless amount of strawberries, but I changed my mind to something more...practical..."

"Prakti...  Like a tool or something?"

"Noooo...."  The excited girl says, tilting her head and smiling.  "I mean a man!  A boyfriend!  The best boyfriend I could ever want!!  I already decided he should be smart, be athletic, be sweet, and be big!!!  As big as possible where it counts!!!"

"His heart?"

"Pfft, you've got some good jokes yourself, country bumpkin.  So, that's the jist; now, if you'll hand me the suushinchuu, I can be on my way to a new boyfriend!"

"You're still not getting it!  Even if it's to make a wish!  This is all I have left of my grandpa..."

"Come! On!! Why are you being this stingy!?  You're not doing anything with it!"

"Bleeeeeh!"

"Don't stick your tongue out at me!  Hmph! This is no way to be polite to a woman!"

"Woman!?  You said you were a girl, right!?"

"Ye-" '''!''' A wide smile spreads across her face.  "Yes... a 'pretty, young, city-slicking lass' you called me, right?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Okaaaaay... I see now...  I knew you weren't just 'taking me home for dinner' for nothing!  You wanted some ever since you stole a glimpse at it, huh!?"  She wiggles her butt, wanting to put on a little show for the best chances of getting the dragonball.  She pinches one side of her dress and slowly lifts it up, worming her body back and forth along the way, accentuating her chest and ass.  Once her dress is up enough to show off her white panties, she picks up her leg and sets it on a nearby coffee table in an effort to show off her spread legs.  "Whaddaya say?  You wanna peek at it a little, maybe squeeze it some?  Who knows, if I like ya enough, I might give you a little of this..."  She opens her mouth in an 'o' shape and holds her hand in front, but angled to the side, of it, fingers bent in a claw shape but with her pinky out.  She moves her hand back and forth, towards and away from her mouth, while pressing her tongue on the inside of her cheek in and out along with the hand movements.

Her hand moves directly in front of her mouth, keeping its shape, while the tongue moves off of her cheek.  Her eyes close, and her hand moves towards her mouth while she makes mock gagging noises.  "G-Guh... Gak!  Gu-huuuu..."  She starts off steady before moving her hand forward and back faster and faster.  "Nnn...glu-glu-glu...  Ga-!  Guh!  Nnn...Nnn! Nnng!"  Her voice gets louder and louder as her hand keeps ramming into her faster and fa-

"Why do you think I wanna see you choke yourself?"

Her eyes open.  "Guh?"

"And why would I wanna touch your dirty ol' fanny?"

"It's not dirty, you impudent brat!"  The insulted guest lifts her foot off the table and stomps it back onto the floor.  "Honestly, this is how you act nice to girls!?  Wait, that's it!  If you gotta be nice to me, then what you can do is help me search for the rest of the dragonballs!"

"You want me to help?"

"Yeah, yeah! It'll be good for you too!  You can't tell me you wanna stay here in this dinky little hut forever now, do ya?  Strong men like you have to go travel the world and experience its wonders!  Anything else for you would be boring, right?"

"I-I guess I could help you.  But only I get to hold Grandpa!"

"No problem!  I'll just need it to make the wish and you can have it right back!  ''Well, maybe not.  I do remember reading somewhere that the dragonballs immediately scatter once the wish is made, but I don't think I'll concern him with that.  I'll just let him worry about being the best bodyguard I can find!  Hee hee hee...''"

"That seems fair, lady.  I'm still hungry, though.  Mind if I eat before we go?"

"That big fish you were carrying?  Alright, but don't dawdle!  And don't call me lady (it makes me sound old)!  If we're gonna be together for a while, we should know each other's names."

"Okay, I'm Son Goku; what's yours?"

"It's...Bulma."

"Got it!  I'm gonna go make breakfast now!"

"''He must not get it.  I don't mind.  Saves me the embarrassment.''"

----

After a hardy meal, our two brave adventurers exit the simple house and head forth, in pursuit of the mystical dragonballs.  "Hurry up Goku!  I've waited long enough for you!"

"Gimme a second!  I just need to bring my nyoi-bō!"

"You mean your stick?"

"No!  I mean my nyoi-bō!  It's the best weapon I have, and I can't leave without it!"

"Hee hee... You boys and your staffs."

"By the way, how do we find the other balls?  Neither of us know where they are."

"For any average joe, it'd be impossible!  Luckily, I'm known for being much smarter that the average joe, not just for being a pretty face!"  Bulma shoves her hand into her satchel and quickly pulls out her green radar.  "Behold!  My latest invention, the dragon radar!  This handy little device can pick up on the faint but unique energy waves emitted by the dragonballs." '''PING''' "See those three yellow dots clumped together there?  Those represent the three we have now.  And the next closest one should be..." '''PING PING''' "Twelve hundred kilos westward, so that's where we'll go!"

"...I don't get it..."

"You don't have to." '''PI-''' With one last press, the device is turned off and put back in the carry-on satchel.  "Since my car was destroyed, we'll need another vehicle.  Now where is it...?"  After a bit of searching, Bulma pulls out a small, hand-held, plastic case which, when opened, reveals a neat, orderly array of colored, metal capsules, each with a big, white button atop.  "Which is it...Which is it...A-ha!  Number nine!"  She takes out one of the black capsules with a nine on it (of course), closes the case back up, and drops it back where it came from.  "You'll wanna step back for this."

'''Click!''' The button on the little, black object is pressed.  "Hoi!"  Bulma tosses it a safe distance away from herself and Goku. '''Poooooiiiii..... BOM!''' Before even hitting the ground, a cloud of smoke erupts from the tiny device, clearing away to reveal a sleek, white motorcycle.  "We're all set now.  Let's go!"

"Gah! More demon magic!  You really are some kind of magical creature, aren't you!?"

"Don't be stupid!  I just used a Hoi-Poi capsule; everyone in the city has them.  Just get on already, chop-chop!"

After poking it a bit with his nyoi-bō, the still-suspicious kid walks up to the shiny, white bike.  He grabs the seat with both hands and wiggles his legs in an attempt to get on.  "Gyaaah!"  It doesn't take much effort for him to climb onto the seat and sit down right behind Bulma.

"You're gonna want to hang on; this thing goes pretty fast."

"Hang on where?"

"Just wrap your arms around my waist, but don't get too touchy-feely!  Unless, of course, you're gonna give me the suushinchuu."  Once everyone's in position, the driving scientist starts up the motorcycle with the push of a button, followed by turning one of the handles forward to rev up the gas.

'''Vrrr...Vrr!''' "Huh?  What was-"  Without any more hesitation, the vehicle starts up, Bulma lifts her feet onto the pedals, and drives down the forest trail, as speedily as their bike can take them.  "UWAAAAAHHHH!!!  We're going s-so fast!"

Well, this is an unusual pair of heroes here.  But, hey! Maybe they'll get themselves into some fun adventures NEXT CHAPTER!!!

[[Category:DBS]]