CCST/Neil

Poor Neil. All he wanted was to stay indoors at a high quality science camp, experimenting with all sorts of different compounds, techs, and theorems, away from the embarrassment of his philosophy professor dad, who tries way too hard to connect with him. Instead, he’s stuck in this rundown piece of shit, with not even a science kit for preschoolers, and work with all these gross, non-nerds on things he doesn’t care about.

And now, you’ve got to worry about your penis: you’ve been handling your natural urges pretty good up until now, with a nice laptop and your hand. However the lack of the Internet and being forced to be interact with your female campers, has been particularly hard on your dick and you’ve had many hand cramps as of late.

One night it gets to a point where you can stand no more! First thing in the morning, you are getting laid! In theory; you are, of course, a gigantic wimp and therefore may struggle with this. But hey, science is based on experimentation, so might as well experiment.

So Neil, what are you going to do?

• Try actual socialization, with real people your age
• Learn by doing, from adults
• Fuck this, I’m building my own partner