Sexy Fun Times/Dog

It's still quite early when you ease out of your comfy bed, stretch the kinks out of your back and lap a drink from your water bowl, noting that no food has magically appeared during the night. The Boss comes down and lets you out into the garden for a pee.

When you come back in, he is drinking coffee and munching toast while standing up and he's put some of that bland doggy-mix into your bowl. With a quick ruffle of the fur on your head, he's off out to work and you are left in charge of the family.

• Darling, the Boss's wife
• Andrew, a teenage boy
• Peter, a small boy who only recently learned to walk
• Sue, a girl - your favourite