JoS/Henriette/7th Journal - The Ultimate Crime

Evening Star, 4th, 4E 201

The first thing Sofia and I saw when we entered Solitude was a public execution being held, but we didn't stay to watch any of it. It was connected to the killing of High King Torygg by Ulfric not too many months ago, and I remember it being massive news even in my home in Helgen when it happened. Then there was also some Argonian lowlife trying to recruit me into his crazy plan of putting out the fire on a lighthouse. Sofia got interested, but I shot her down as well, warning her not to get involved. Like seriously, talk about first impressions!

Apart from that, this seems like a really charming city. People seem to generally be very kind as well. A lot of people here need help with all kinds of small tasks in general. I'm not looking to go out of my way to hunt down some escaped criminal, but it never hurts picking up some bounties and listening to the words of those in need.

The market district is the largest in all of Skyrim, and it especially made a good impression on me. Bought a really beautiful ring for myself, and I suppose the enchantment's also nice. The shopkeeper, an Altmer who ran the fashion store, was a bit rude, but it didn't stop me from trying to be nice to her or doing business.

By an interesting coincidence, another Altmer living in the city, a man by the name of Viarmo, took an interest in me in the shop. He's the headmaster of the Bards College here in the city. He said I talk well for someone so young and commended me on how I handled myself. He asked me if I was interested in becoming a bard. Now, to be honest, it's not something I've ever thought about, and I told him as much, saying that I've never actually played an instrument or tried singing. Sofia though, was very interested in Viarmo's offer, which was really surprising. She said that becoming a bard was one of her childhood dreams growing up in Winterhold and even bragged about having a heavenly singing voice. No kidding, she really has! Viarmo was super impressed, and so was I! The lyrics, I feel, were a bit wrong, but who cares? Improvisation is a skill on its own.

From there, the two of us decided to spend the rest of the day separately. Sofia and Viarmo headed for the Bards College while I headed out for the streets to find things to do.

It's also the first time in a long while since I felt like a kid. There's a lot of children here on the streets and I ended up playing with them for a few hours. Getting to relax like that was really great, and I guess children here were happy to have a new playmate as well. All that running around in the sun made me weak and tired though, hungry as well, and even a little horny. Most of the kids here are girls, but there are a few boys here as well. One of them - Kayd - I even found quite handsome, so can you blame me?

When it was getting late, I had already decided on letting myself get "conquered" by him. Svari and Minette, you see, both warned me about Kayd, saying he likes to play rough. Oh, you handsome little Casanova, have you played rough with those two cuties? He had been eyeing my body up and down while blushing, so it was obvious he was interested in me as well. I guess he's not used to seeing young girls in skimpy leather armor.

We were playing hide and seek. I was constantly trying to make sure he was "it", not only because it was required for my plan, but also because I wanted to tease him. When I eventually succeeded, I told him where I'd be hiding and that if he wanted to play something more exciting, he'd come to me first. And so, as soon as he came down that back alley behind Bard's college, I stole a long, wet kiss from him. He was all for it and more than happy to ditch those childish games in favor of playing a bit more mature game with me. We both stripped naked, and I was eager to pleasure him. I wanted to give him oral, but he was really insistent on doing it in my butt straight away. Wouldn't you know it, he gave me the best anal ever. Never thought I would be able to come just from that, but that's what happened. I swear, getting fucked raw in my butt by him made me actually come so hard, and he also came so deep inside me.

It was, however, just a quick little session, and we were done immediately after that.

Now I'm gonna stay at the inn. I'm going to leave tomorrow, as I need to get back to work. I should really visit the Sanctuary, as I've completed the job on Lurbuk, and I still have that one task from the Night Mother I want to do that Astrid didn't let me complete the first time around…

Evening Star, 6th, 4E 201

We left Solitude and decided to travel by foot as has become normal for us. The journey through the night was very peaceful. The worst we encountered was wolves and bears, never had any trouble with wild animals. But as the morning came, it started getting very bright, very fast, and we just had to seek shelter.

It seemed like an unassuming little cave filled with wild animals. There were absolutely no signs of any civilized life anywhere. As we ventured deeper and further inside though, we were ambushed from behind by a group of vampires living in this cave. Sofia escaped as soon as she was able to, which I'm glad about. We've had to make some new arrangements for our journey to help each other in case one of us is captured. Provided Sofia doesn't mess up later, I'm going to be able to get out of here. Eventually.

Anyway, at first, they seemed happy to be getting "visitors", as they were probably hungry for blood or something, but when they realized that I was a vampire myself, they decided to "feast" on me using other methods.

They took my precious bow and my armor as well, but they didn't leave me naked. They locked me in leathery cuffs with all kinds of rings on them to attach chains, ropes, and such to tie me up better and made sure to collar my neck as well. They also gave me one lasting gift that I'm going to now carry the rest of my life with me, pierced nipples. I'm not sure if I have any tools I can use to remove the rings on my nipples, but… At least it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. These piercings are really just metal rings, so they're not that much of a bother.

Then, they dragged me deep into the cave, where I've been all day. Tied up to a bed or bent over a table, I've had to endure being raped by them one by one. They all really like to take their time too, so none of the physical torture they're putting me through is that intense. Still, what a long day it has been… I should probably be sleeping while I can, but there's just constantly someone here to make sure I'm ready to service them. Even when they leave me alone like now, they stuff plugs between my legs and lock them in with a chastity belt. It's so tight around my waist… Pulling it up is impossible, and down over my hips? Forget about it. What's even worse, they force-feed me Skooma to intoxicate me and make my body even more sensitive.

In short, they actually trying to make me like this, trying to enhance my pleasure… But I'm not willing to give in!

I heard them talking a while back, that the sun is setting, which means they'll go out hunting. Well, it was almost morning when I made it here… Maybe that's why they were able to ambush me? They were returning from a successful hunt and we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nighttime will be my best chance at escape, but I don't have anything to use to break free from this cage, if it even is possible to pick. It looks sturdy and tough to break.

Either that, or Sofia gets some help. She's still out there somewhere, and I know that she knows I'm still here.

Evening Star, 7th, 4E 201

I was able to sneak a lockpick into my cage. They must've not predicted such a cunning move on my part. Then, I went on to stick it inside, I was as careful as I could be, and still, even still, I broke that flimsy piece of shit in half. I'm so mad!

Well, there went my first attempt at escape… Not that I would've made it too far anyway.

I tried to dispose of the broken lockpick by throwing it someplace where I hoped they wouldn't find it… Never did I think that there would be an old helmet hiding in there. Obviously, it made some nasty noise too, which alerted everyone nearby. One of the guys left behind came for me and started berating me for making noise, only to realize I had actually tried to escape. He said something about me having been so obedient up until now that they hadn't had to resort to being rough, but now I left him with no choice.

He bent me over that familiar table, which he tied me to. With my butt exposed, he proceeded to whip me hard with a leathery lash, making sure my cries and screams could be heard all across the cave. That alone wouldn't have been so bad, but he had a damn plug up my vagina the whole time as well, and he kept vibrating it for what felt like an eternity. It was so maddening. I was in literal tears from the stinging pain and the desire for the sweet release of pleasure.

What he really wanted from me was a very long, and sincere apology, and a promise to never try to escape again, a promise to stay here and just be a good girl. He made me recite all those three lines a dozen or so times before he was finally satisfied with punishing me. It had all made him horny though, so he of course had his fun in the end, giving me his load of cum before locking me back in my cage.

Now, I'm back at square one. I think I'm gonna be able to catch some sleep now with most of the other guys being done with me as well, or asleep.

Evening Star, 8th, 4E 201

Something unexpected happened today, and as a result of it, I was saved.

It was the Dawnguard. Five of their members were in the area, which I guess is partially because of what happened with that Moth Priest around here. You know, this place has pretty much been confirmed a hotspot for vampire activity in their books. They found me in my cage as a slave, but thankfully, they didn't recognize me. They just thought I was another prisoner being taken from some village to serve as a sex thrall for them. Of course, I was more than happy to act on that assumption of theirs and make up stories so they could save me.

First asked me how long have I been here and where I'm from. I said "only a few days" and "from Dragon Bridge", after which they gave me a potion of cure disease, saying "it should still be able to cure me". Obviously, such a potion does not affect me as I'm already a damn vampire, but they don't have to know that. They even helped me get out of all these restraints and gave me a blanket to wear. After that, they escorted me to Dragon Bridge.

At that point, I was a little scared because it would become apparent that I wasn't from the Dragon Bridge. Thankfully, Sofia was in Dragon Bridge, and when she happily announced that "she was so worried and was glad that I was back", the Dawnguard simply left, and that was that.

Well, then I realized that I had a huge problem. Either my stuff is still inside that cave, or the Dawnguard looted it as treasure. Me and Sofia went back to the cave to check, and thankfully the Dawnguard hadn't cared to stay in the cave to pick up items. Some of my things were missing, like all of my money, but we found some extra stuff from the Vampires. I can recover from this setback.

Sadly I cannot overcome my biology and my size disadvantage, which makes me physically weak, but I still have much room for improvement. I keep getting lucky with how my captors treat me and with other adventurers helping me, but my luck won't last forever. I need to get stronger.

Evening Star, 10th, 4E 201

Dear diary, I woke up to the worst headache I've ever had. What's up with all these lowlifes drugging me with Skooma… At this point, I feel like the only way to treat this defibrillating addiction is by actually drinking more of it. I'd hate to do that, I don't want to do that, but I'm just so grumpy and feel weak without it. I can barely stand it.

The good thing is that we at least made it to Falkreath. I'll stay in the Sanctuary and rest here for a couple of days, with Sofia having rented a room at the inn. Babette said she has something for me that can help ease my addiction too. Remains to be seen, but at least I'm glad that I have probably the best alchemist in Skyrim tending to me.

Astrid seems to have come to her senses too, which is a very positive development. She finally let me go to Volunruud to speak to my contract, as commanded by the Night Mother herself. I have no idea what took her so much time. Looking back, I should've probably gone there without her consent a week ago, but oh well, I can't change the past.

My brothers and sisters seem to still trust her quite a bit, and even though I thought I should go there as soon as possible, some of them want to scold me for questioning Astrid's orders. Look, I'm not questioning her leadership; I'm just in a disagreement with her. Is that such a bad thing? Well, whatever, I suppose.

Evening Star, 13th, 4E 201

We made it to Volunruud, and talk about a strong performance on the battlefield, a real confidence booster for my ego.

I wasn't expecting too many Draugr near the entrance because, well… That's not a thing that tends to happen too often. This place happened to be an exception, as there were at least a dozen of those undead bastards piling up near the room that my client was holed up in. What's worse is that before we even realized exactly how many we were up against, we had been separated by them. We were put in a situation where I had the escape route this time around while Sofia's back was against the wall. I wasn't willing to run, not while there was still a chance that we could defeat them.

Just so we're clear, I'm not talking about just your run-of-the-mill Draugr in rags types of zombies that crumble like dust if you just blow their way. No, some of these Draugr wielded voice and enchanted weapons. Remember that one time I talked about getting defeated by a Draugr that was able to summon wind and make himself invulnerable? There was a similar one in this group as well. And wait, it gets better because there was an even bigger and badder Draugr in the midst. He could summon these weird skeletons with bones as black as the night sky and glowing red eyes. The skeletons shot frost magic from their hands, but that was the least of my worries.

There would've been a time and day in my not-so-distant past when I would've honestly just lost there and then, but not this time! Sofia was overwhelmed fairly quickly, but I wouldn't allow my enemy to defile her. I fought hard to save her, so she could join me and fight until none were left standing. We really needed a victory like this in my life. It's about time I've felt empowered from slaying my enemies like this.

Still, Sofia fared worse here, and she needs some time to recover, so she's resting outside. I went on to meet the man who had contacted the Dark Brotherhood, the man whom I probably just saved from getting eaten by Draugr. Had I not rescued him - and his beefy assistant - he probably wouldn't have even taken me seriously. He scoffed at the fact that the notorious Dark Brotherhood would send a kid to accept the contract, but at the same time, he had to recognize my talent, for no ordinary child could do what I just did.

Anyway, my contract's name is Amaund Motierre. He's from Cyrodiil, and he wants me to kill a lot of people. However, all these murders I'm to carry out work towards a common goal, my primary contract. He wants me to kill Titus Mede the Second, the Emperor of Tamriel.

What an exciting prospect… Just the idea of doing something so grand makes me feel tingly… When was the last time I felt something like this? I mean, I'm a sick little bitch, murdering people literally makes me horny sometimes, but I haven't felt anything like this ever since I killed Grelod, my first true victim. To assassinate an Emperor, to hunt down a man who many consider unkillable, to commit a murder so risky it's unthinkable, to live forever in infamy… Just the here idea of it makes my groin tingly… How should I go about it? How will I be able to go about it? I've never been more excited about anything in my entire life!

He promised me a mountain of gold should I succeed and even gave me an amulet as a reward forefront, a unique pendant that looks very valuable. I do not know what it is and where it's from, but I'm always happy to receive stuff like this as payments. Not sure if I would be able to get away with keeping it though. It's not that pretty, and it's kinda bulky, so I wouldn't wear it personally…

I can't wait to tell Astrid about this contract. This is going to be something special.

Evening Star, 15th, 4E 201

You won't believe how happy Astrid was to hear the news of our next contract. Yes, "our". We have many targets, and I doubt I'll be the only one doing the killing. I'll probably need the help of my brothers and sisters as well, but make no mistake about it. Emperor Titus Mede the Second is mine, and mine alone. As for the planning? Well, I'll leave the technical stuff to my superiors.

As for now, we'll be traveling to Riften to get the amulet sold. There's only one person Astrid trusts with recognizing its value and getting it sold safely, and that's Delvin Mallory. Lucky for me, I'm already acquainted with the Guild, so I probably won't need to do much convincing to have him appraise it. While I'm at it, I might as well bring some gifts to my friends at the Ratway while I'm there.

Well, we have a long road ahead of me, so might as well start packing.

Evening Star, 16th, 4E 201

The weather has been dreadful, so our little roundabout trip to Riften is gonna take a while. Me and Sofia settled down to rest in an old, abandoned cottage in the forest. While training my shots here, I learned a nifty little trick that is sure to be proven helpful on my future journeys. You see, a good shot isn't just a question of "where", but also when. A well-timed shot can be used to interrupt an enemy's attack and even disarm them. Targeting their feet can also knock them off their feet if done at the right time. I've always had trouble with adults with big scary weapons, some of which weigh almost as much as my own freaking body, so this is really, REALLY going to be useful for me.

I also have something a little more disappointing to tell you, my sweetest diary. I caved and drank a bottle of Skooma… I had to. It was just so inviting. I was already starting to feel a lot better, but once I saw the bottle on the corpse of a highwayman… I just had to gulp it all down. It made all the pain and headache go away, it felt good. I know I shouldn't have done it because I know that all those symptoms are just going to kick back and come in stronger… I also know that I can't afford this kind of lifestyle long-term, but… I had to taste that sweet, intoxicating Moon Sugar nectar on my lips… It had never tasted better… Will you forgive me?

Well, anyway, hopefully we'll make it to Riften by tomorrow.

Evening Star, 17th, 4E 201

On the way to Riften, I heard something nearby. People were fighting in the woods, so I took it upon myself to investigate. Turned out a giant was attacking an Orc stronghold. It didn't make much sense to me. I thought Giants were supposed to be peaceful. I can't imagine them being aggressors in situations like this. They looked like they needed help, so I took it upon myself to try my aimed shots on one of these giants… No doubt being able to disarm that massive club off its hand saved one Orc's life.

If there's one thing that I've learned on my travels about Orcs, it's that they really don't like outsiders, so it was kind of surprising to have one of them approach me from inside the walls. These guys apparently need help, even though some of them might not want to admit it. This woman intended on performing some kind of ritual to Malacath and just needed a few ingredients. Lucky for her, I happened to have both on me already.

So, we consulted the chief of this stronghold, Yamarz, and despite his stern objections, we initiated the ritual. It turned out to be a successful one, and Malacath himself spoke to Yamarz. He was given a task, something about killing some giant somewhere to get rid of the curse that has befallen upon this stronghold.

I thought that was the end of my part here, but boy oh boy was I mistaken.

When I was about to take my leave, Yamarz came to me, and he had the absolute gall to blame me for all of this. Is this guy for real? Is he really their chief? Like come on, how pathetic is this guy? He weighs three to four times as much as I do, and still he has to beg for a little girl to help him kill a giant in front of your own tribe? Yeah, he wants me to help him take down the giant, probably because he's too much of a weakling to do it himself. But why would I? It's his fight, not mine. Malacath specifically gave this task to him, not me. I feel insulted just entertaining the idea of helping this loser. How dare he.

What waste of time…

Evening Star, 18th, 4E 201

Delvin told me everything that I needed to know about the amulet. It belongs to a member of the Elder Council from Cyrodiil. Which one of them, no idea. It could be that mister Motierre himself is part of this council, but I have no evidence to support this idea. Suffice to say, this serves as an adequate advance payment for the size of the task we've been given, and Delvin was even happy to take it from our hands in return for what he calls a "future favor" for our lovely mistress herself.

It was so nice to see Brynjolf once in a while. I was a little horny when I got to the Flagon, and couldn't help but blush in front of him. Too bad for me, he's kind of thick, or perhaps just hard to get. I would love to have a taste of his cock… Sadly I had to leave with my desires left unfulfilled though. What a shame, it would've made for a nice birthday present.

Oh, I promise you, one day I will make that hunk mine even if it's just for one night. I'll seduce him one way or another…

Oh well, time to get back to Falkreath, I guess. I hope Astrid and Nazir have some actual work for me.

Evening Star, 22nd, 4E 201

If there's one thing that I've learned about slavery in Skyrim, it's that incompetence is a trait commonly found within people who orchestrate it. How else would I have made it out from pretty much every situation I've gotten myself into? In a world that made sense, or in a world where I wasn't actually a vampire, I wouldn't have ever made it out from the hands of the first bandits that kidnapped me. Well, today I got reminded that not every single bandit and slaver in this province is an incompetent fool.

On my way to Falkreath, we were ambushed by a small group of mercenaries, three of them in fact. They were slavers, and they knew me by name and were able to identify me based on my appearance alone. Apparently, there's someone out there who's willing to pay a generous price to have me as his sex slave. I could tell simply by looking at their armor, weapons, and the other gear they had on them that these guys were trouble and not a foe I could escape so easily.

They did only make one real mistake, and that was underestimate me by facing me head-on. Sofia and I were able to defeat them today, but this is a very concerning development. Maybe they'll send even more or even stronger men next time around? I may be on top of the food chain, even above ordinary mortals, but… That doesn't mean that I don't have my own predators. Dawnguard and the Vigilants want me dead for what they consider to be a crime of daring to be a Vampire, and now there's someone out there who's willing to pay real money to turn me into their fuck puppet? My life just keeps getting better and better.

But I digress, because I didn't want to write just to bitch and moan about how dangerous Tamriel is for a young and pretty female adventurer, but to rather talk about more exciting things. While I was on my trip to Riften, Astrid has been working nonstop on creating a plan for our assassination. Motierre had targets and instructions on a letter he had me deliver to Astrid, but of course, she still has a lot of work on her as well. Now though, it's time to take the first shot and put the plan into motion.

Vittoria Vici must die by my hand.

She's one of the most important figures in the East Empire Company, which has its regional warehouse in Solitude, and Emperor's first cousin, making her a great target for bringing the Emperor's attention to this province. She's going to be marrying soon, and the marriage has huge political ramifications. My job is to kill her at her own wedding to send a message to Titus Mede the Second. Basically, we want chaos.

Nazir also gave me some new secondary contracts to worry about, which are not related to assassinating the Emperor. They're low priority and not going to run away, so I'll worry about them later.

I'm still unsure how to go with the murder, but luckily, I have a few days ahead of me for planning. I will only have one chance, and I have to take this chance while she's addressing her guests. It would be delicious to actually stab her while she's delivering a speech, but I'm not sure how realistic it would be to accomplish something that bold. There's no way I could actually get away with something like that. Shooting her from high-up would perhaps be easier in terms of being able to escape without being seen, but that's boring.

Well, I'll worry about how to go about it after I've actually surveyed the area.

Evening Star, 25th, 4E 201

Oh, how I have missed that feeling of actually enjoying murder.

It was a perfect crime, if I may say so myself. I was able to hide on the balcony and just wait. I determined that it would be safe enough. I was there waiting before the ceremony had even started, while people were still doing preparations and setting up guards… I hid, I had my mask and my hood on to conceal my identity, and I waited… Patiently…

Then, she came, and she stood in front of me talking to the crowd. She was so happy, everyone was so happy, everything was going perfectly for them… And then I drove my dagger straight through her heart. The screams of horror echoed in the temple courtyard, and the heartbreaking cry of her husband was like music to my ears. The idea of getting caught in the act had me all wet and tingly, not because I wanted it, but because the fear just made it all the better… But I knew it couldn't happen. If I'm going to have my head on a chopping block, at least let me first kill the Emperor.

With the help of some blood magic I've worked really hard on perfecting, I embraced the shroud of darkness to turn myself invisible before anyone could see me. For anyone attending the wedding, it must've looked like a phantom took his life. More importantly, I made it look like a proper murder. Making it look like an accident would've been so boring, now wouldn't it?

Then, I just jumped off the balcony past the guards who were running around and up the tower, and I walked away. Yes, walked. Slowly, quietly, grinning ear to ear… I didn't have to run because nobody was actually coming after me. Didn't want my feet to make too much noise either. Sure, they were looking for me, but they weren't coming my way. Besides, I wanted to hear the aftermath… It was the perfect storm. The guards were struggling to understand what happened, fingers were being pointed at one another, and even the poor husband was being accused despite being oh so heartbroken and devastated…

At that point I knew, I had gotten away with a murder more delicious than all of my previous atrocities combined.

I live for moments like this… The pleasure I feel from the sins I commit is better than anything else in the world… Tastier than the blood of any mortal, more satisfying than sex, more intoxicating than Skooma… Murder is my perfect drug.

Laughing, sighing, and blushing from pleasure, I let my emotions go as soon as I got out of the city. I feel so fucking alive, and most importantly, I have taken a huge leap towards accomplishing my ultimate goal of killing the Emperor.

• 8th Journal - A Day in Whiterun