JoS/Kanna/Karim's Backstory

First Entry

My life's been full of ups and downs since I was forced to leave my childhood home, but now, more so than ever, I feel like every day could be my last. That's why I want to write this down now. There's no guarantee I will live to see another sunrise, and my greatest fear right now is to just fade away and be another nobody, forgotten.

My name is Karim Alhazred, a young teenage Redguard, and my life used to be simple growing up in Nimbel Moor. Our family wasn't wealthy, but we were happy. I had a dream of becoming the greatest swordsman in all of Graglorn, while my annoying little sister probably dreamt of being a world-class menace and a nuisance. Nowadays, the only things I still hold from that idyllic village life are my father's sword, my most trusted companion in this world, and my mother's locket, my lucky charm and memento I carry around in my pocket at all times. As for Kanna, the little sister I mentioned… well, as annoying as I found her growing up, I would do anything to be with her again.

We were orphaned when our parents were murdered by the "Blackhawk Bandits" in a raid in the Midyear of 423, so my sister's the only family I have left. She's the light of my life, and the only person I care about in this world besides myself. Even with us being apart now, she's my only motivation to push myself out of bed daily. We got to spend a lot of time together after we lost our parents, as we were both taken in by the bandits who raised us from that point onwards.

Don't make the mistake of thinking they were altruistic for wanting to care for the two poor orphan kids who just lost their parents, though, because in truth, we were little more than hostages, especially Kanna. It wasn't a relationship of mutual respect. He weaponized my love for Kanna to get what he wanted from me by threatening violence against her, so I had to do what he said, and the amount of hate I harbor in my heart toward him can't even be put in words. His name was… no, actually, never mind. He's now dead, and I don't think his rotting corpse deserves the courtesy of having a name.

I've been forced to do a lot of nasty shit in my life, with simple thievery, banditry, and highway robberies being just the start of my confessions in my laundry list of crimes. I've targeted both weak and strong, the poor and the wealthy, civilians and lowlives, even defenseless women… but I insist I'm not a criminal. I was motivated back then by only survival, not only mine but also my sister's. I did horrible things for us to survive, and I acknowledge that, but I knew he had Kanna at the end of his blade. I just had to do it all… I couldn't bear the idea of something terrible happening to her… so can you blame me? Can you say you would've done something differently in my position?

Still, I know that doesn't excuse my crimes. My criminal record in the Imperial Legion's "Black Book" is enough to make most bandits blush, and all these crimes, all these sins, I don't know if I can truly ever pay for. I hope I can, but if not, I'll take my regrets down to the grave with me and to whatever plane of Oblivion the gods condemn my soul into.

I knew my life of serving the Blackhawk Bandits couldn't go on forever though, and I was still hungry for revenge, salivating at the idea of making those people pay for what they'd done to me and my family. I wanted to destroy the clan, and I'm proud to say I succeeded, but at what cost?

My plan was to leak information about an upcoming bandit raid to the guardsmen of Chorrol, and after I approached them with information about the clan's travel route and battle plans down to the last detail, they set up an ambush. I thought that would be the end of it; the bandits would all die in this ambush, after which my sister and I would finally gain our freedom… but things just didn't go as I anticipated.

The man I had just told about the plan, the captain of the guard, was very thankful to me for the valuable information I'd provided him. More than anything, he was grateful that he would finally be able to get his just revenge against the bandits who had taken his family away from him, but before I could go on my own way and proceed with the next step of my grand plan, two guardsmen blocked my path and drew their blades. Seeing how I was part of the same clan, the captain insisted on me facing justice as well.

I tried reasoning with him, telling him that I was also motivated by revenge; I told him how my parents had been massacred by these same bandits, but he didn't believe me. I would be lying if I said I wasn't sympathetic towards him for going through the same things I've gone through, but I was angry at him for his blindness and inability to see the truth for what it was, and more than anything, I was angry at him for coming between myself and my sister, and our freedom and future happiness.

About to be arrested, and then god-knows-what, I was left with no other choice but to escape, but I failed. My unwillingness to draw and strike my father's blade to take a life cost me dearly that day, and I allowed myself to be captured. All I could do was feel the iron tighten around my wrists as the two guards held me down against the floor, disarming me. "We'll meet again soon", is what the captain told me next as he prepared to leave for duty. "I'm finally able to retire after today", were the last words I heard him utter.

I was so damn angry at the time. I was supposed to be on my way to the battlefield. I was naïve enough to think I could join the fight by the side of the law, but now the only thing on my mind was Kanna. I so, so wanted to get to her, to save her. There was no telling what could happen to her now. Since those damn fools mistook me for an enemy even after I helped them and leaked info to them, I was fearful that they could also mistake my sister for a real bandit. I was genuinely terrified she could die. I struggled with all my might, trying to tell the two guards holding me that I was on their side, but they weren't having it. They said that I was going to be hauled straight to jail.

I couldn't let it happen.

Somehow, I managed to loosen the iron around my wrists and fight back. I freed myself from their grasp after tackling one to the ground, and after I regained possession of my sword, I ran away. I could've fought back, and maybe I even should have, but there was no doubt in my mind that they wouldn't hesitate to kill me at this point, especially with them all alerting everyone in the city about an escaped criminal. People made way for me, looking scared, horrified of me, staring at me with their judgmental gazes. I guess they must've really thought I was a bad guy, not like it matters. I was able to make it into hiding, but not out of the city quite just yet.

With the castle built within the city walls and the city guard at high alert, I knew I couldn't just walk out of the city gate in the way I marched in. It felt like the whole damn town was on lockdown, with nobody getting in or out, and even the guard towers leading up the walls were being guarded. I was grinding my teeth in rage, trying to resist spitting and swearing as I desperately looked for an exit because damn it, I was determined to make it out to save my sister in time. In the end, I had to go down into the sewers and use the castle's drainage pipe, and while I felt like I was wasting valuable minutes, I managed to make it out of the city.

Now, in the middle of the woods, in an unfamiliar part of the city outskirts, I ran like mad for a short while, trying to figure out a way back to the camp. I kept praying to all the gods, even though I had never earnestly prayed for anything before, to please just let me be in time, let my sister just be safe. All I could do was pray.

And then, finally, by the time I made it back to the camp, all I found were imperial officers and guardsmen from Chorrol looting the bandit camp and searching for evidence. No bandit was left there, and based on my extensive survey, neither was my sister. I was staring at the aftermath of a successful raid.

It was at that point that I realized I was late. I had failed to protect her.

Second Entry

Three months have passed since that day. I was supposed to provide for her - provide for both of us - and help us start anew, but now, the light of my life is farther away from my grasp than she's ever been, and it feels so insurmountable. Protecting her was my only promise to her, so how could I screw it up? How could I be so trusting of the guards to not try to arrest me?

With no friends, allies, or family left, I'm truly alone in this world. I work as a traveling mercenary, an independent lone wolf picking up any jobs I can, just so I can eat well and sleep peacefully. To avoid repeating the mistakes of my past, I try my best not to do anything illegal, but other than that, I'll do just about anything so I can survive to see tomorrow. Pest control, hunting down goblins or bandits… as long as I'm getting paid, it's all good by me.

Sadly, money isn't very good, as there isn't much use for people like me in these lands. People usually scoff at me when I reveal my "profession" to them in local inns and taverns. Can't blame them since it's strange for someone to be an independent mercenary when the Fighter's Guild takes care of jobs like this, but unfortunately, a Guild isn't an option for me. They often suggest I must be some kind of criminal or a reject of society for not being part of them, and I guess they're right. I am both a reject and a criminal, but hey, at least I'm working to clear my name, as difficult as it may be. Either I gain enough reputation to clear my name and become someone worthy, or I die trying. Live by the sword, die by the sword, as they say. I treat every day and every single battle like my last, and you'd better damn believe you will follow these same rules if you cross blades with me. It's kill or be killed for me.

On that note, if you are someone who killed me…

First of all, congratulations! I hope I proved to be a worthy opponent, someone worth remembering, and second of all, tell my tale to anyone willing to hear. Don't let me be forgotten like so many warriors before me.

Still, more than wanting to be somebody right now, I want to reunite with my sister. I know she's out there somewhere. She was arrested, that much I'm sure of. I've heard rumors of a unique detention center for children and youngsters somewhere in the Imperial City Prison, and my guess is that she's being held there, but there's no way for me to know for sure. According to what I've heard, the conditions there are stringent, if not outright abusive. I doubt there's anything illegal going on there, but at the same time, I can't help but have this sick feeling in my stomach.

Besides, even if I were to find out that she's being held there, saving her from there isn't an option. It's impossible. Just trying it would be suicide, no matter how mighty of a warrior I might be. Besides, it would go against my vow to not add to my criminal record. If I tried to "save" my sister through crime, I don't see that helping me or her long-term.

As for paying up her bounty? Well, I doubt she even has one. Once you commit enough crime, the Empire just gives up having bounties in the first place and instead puts a death warrant on you. At that point, you either die by some mercenary's hand like a bandit, or you're captured and get thrown behind bars for years, maybe decades, maybe even the rest of your life, and that is if they don't execute you. My point is, money can't buy her freedom, and even if it could, there's my own bounty to worry about.

I'm not exactly sure what my bounty would even be, considering all the killing, thieving, and banditry I've committed - even rape, that one cursed time - I probably have a death warrant of my own. My only hope is that I'll never be recognized. It has served me pretty well so far, considering I'm a stranger to the lands of Cyrodiil, having racked up most of my bounties in Hammerfell. I sometimes get dirty looks from guards in the cities I go to, but nobody has ever even thought about arresting me for anything.

That's about everything there is to my life right now. I'm just a bitter, directionless young mercenary who's obsessed with his sister and worried about whether I can eat a hot meal tomorrow or not.

Let this journal also be my will. You know, in case I die. Everything I own now belongs to you, whoever you might be, the person who killed me. I hope you're a person. Wouldn't want to be killed by a damn beast. It probably isn't much, but you'll get a cheap armor, a shield, my rusty-ass sword passed to me down from my dead father, my mother's locket, which probably has no monetary value, and maybe even some pocket money if you're lucky.

That's it. That's my story.

Third Entry

I didn't intend to write anymore, but now another three months have passed, and I think my life is at crossroads. I have a choice in front of me, which will, without a doubt, set a course not only for my immediate future but for the rest of my very life.

It started in a small off-road tavern known as the Inn of Ill Omen. It offers just about the cheapest lodging you can find in all of Tamriel, and for a reason. The place is a fucking dump with its dark brown walls rotting in. Sleeping in this mold-infested dump too often will probably give even an Argonian a nasty headache and never-ending flu.

Alongside the old man who runs the place, there's a young lady about my age called Erika also working here, but even though they're both pale, blond Nords, I'm not sure if these guys are related. Not sure what Erika's role here is either, but she enjoys the company of visitors. Every time I drop by this rickety establishment, she joins me for a steak dinner to listen to my dry explanations of all the boring shit I've been up to with great interest and genuine glee in her eyes. She's stupidly optimistic and happy, like a human embodiment of a sugar rush, and I fucking love her for that.

I should also mention that she's smoking hot. Average height, great figure, nice perky tits, thick bright-red lips, ocean blue eyes paired with wavy golden blonde hair, and damn, that ass. I was into her, and lucky for me, she was also into me. That's an easy match-up, so I ended up seducing her.

Not sure if she has a thing for getting shagged by travelers or if it's just me, but she's damn wild in the bedroom nonetheless. On our first date a month ago, she said that I'm the first Redguard she's ever laid down with and asked if it's true what they say about our dicks: "Are they really bigger than average?" Well, I've never compared my dick to anyone else's, but at least she moaned about me being huge when I presented my shehai to her face.

She gave me the best head of my life, and made me nut quicker than any other bitch ever could. Granted, I had blue-balled myself for weeks at the time, and her beauty had my boner raging when we hooked up, but I insist she's also exceptional. Her mouth's like melting-hot butter, and just thinking about the way she twirls her tongue around with such unbelievable skill makes my knees feel weak. She's never afraid to fondle my balls either, which makes it all the better.

As much fun as it's to have her give me head, fucking her is honestly even better. I never get tired of banging her. She's so damn tight and sensual, and like I said, wild in bed. Noisy too. All of this, by the way, is critically important to my story. I'm not just bragging about slaying some prime teen pussy. Manheim, the owner, doesn't care about me fucking Erika, or maybe he's into being on the sidelines as she moans like it's everyone's business. Or he could be banging her too. I don't know.

So anyway, when I tapped her ass yesterday, we weren't actually the only three people in the inn. Unbeknownst to me, a young Breton female by the name of Renault was lodging in the room next door, and let me tell you in advance right now, she's a certified badass.

When I was about to take my leave in the morning, she stopped me in the front yard, asking if Erika and I had a good time. "Oh, so you heard that", I asked, a little embarrassed, to which she just smirked and said that you could probably hear us fucking all the way to Bravil. She was clearly teasing me, but she was cool about it, so I took a liking to her. Maybe she was coming onto me? Wouldn't mind that, because she's hot too. Didn't get a chance to bed her, sadly. Teasing me about having loud sex wasn't why she actually approached me, though, even though it was her opener.

She couldn't help but notice that I'm a mercenary, and she said she might need some help with something promising good pay. I still had no idea who she was at that point, but I could see that she was wearing some nice light armor and had a real fancy sword on her hip, so obviously, I could tell she was serious about being able to pay. Long story short, she had been sent here on a mission with two of her allies, but those guys died in an ambush. She wasn't sure if she could handle it alone, so that's where I - a stranger - came in.

We were up against bandits… I think? Cultists, maybe? They were a weird bunch, that's for sure, not your ordinary criminals. Renault didn't omit many details and just told me I wasn't being paid to ask questions.

I also mentioned that she's a badass, didn't I? Well, it became evident when we actually fought side by side. I've never seen a girl that can handle a sword that well. Actually, never mind that; I have never seen anyone handle a sword like that, period. Both her stance and her striking style were somewhat unorthodox, but deadly. I can't imagine such a stance working with a longsword or a scimitar, but her style was perfect for a long and delicate blade such as the one she was using. She straight-up cut everything she wanted in half. Like, she's better than me, that's for sure, and can't be much older than me either. She's in her late teens, I think.

Needless to say, we crushed our competition, and Renault was happy. She paid me three hundred gold Septims, which is way more than I have ever been paid for anything in my entire life. I was over the moon. She also said there's a lot more of where that came from if I happen to be interested. I wondered what she meant by that, and after that, she just laughed and said she forgot to introduce herself properly.

She's with the motherfucking Blades. They're the Emperor's bodyguards. Can you believe that? This girl is a Blade, a high-ranking officer in the Imperial Palace Regiment nonetheless.

I bet you can also tell what she meant by "a lot more of where that came from", as she was impressed with my fighting skills. "Someone like you should join the Blades", she said, saying she had a good feeling about me. She described me as someone who fights with purpose and respect, both towards himself, the opponent, and his blade, just like a Yokudan sword-singer of legends. Never before had I heard such praise! She said I should go visit the Cloud Ruler Temple, and told me to think about her suggestion. We walked back to the inn, after which we went our separate ways.

I'm so damn conflicted about this. I mean, that's a solid income and a way for me to turn my life around for the better, but would someone like me, someone with a criminal past, ever get away with being part of such an organization? Can anyone even join just like that? I fear my past will be revealed in due time, and joining an organization like that would simply hasten the inevitable.

No, actually… there's no need for me to be conflicted because I won't be doing it only for myself. I have to consider Kanna too. I will be reunited with her one day, and when I do, I want to be able to provide for her. My sister is strong-willed and talented, I know that much, but she also lacks certain qualities that would help her live her life independently and has always relied on others for everything. I doubt she can even read or write, unless she's been able to hone those skills in captivity.

Yeah, fuck it. I'll join the Blades. It might not help me become "somebody", as becoming a "Blade" will make me another servant and a puppet for the Emperor, but if it will help me secure a safer and more prosperous life for myself and my sister, that choice is a no-brainer.

Fourth Entry

It's been about two weeks since I joined the Blades. Kind of. Didn't end up "joining" them right away.

I visited Bruma, a large city up the mountains right beside the border to Skyrim, and from there, I traveled northeast to the Cloud Ruler Temple, the headquarters of the Blades. I soon learned that Captain Steffan can be very selective when it comes to advancing someone to be a true Blade. If you can't get in through a recommendation or a direct invitation from a high-ranking officer, you join as an apprentice, and me dropping Renault's name apparently wasn't enough. Still, Steffan accepts almost anyone to train, provided you don't have a criminal history. Since he didn't know about my past, he let me train at the temple.

So far, I've been able to make a very positive impression here. I mean, not to suck my own dick or anything, but I am a master swordsman, so it's only natural for them to be impressed with my swordsmanship. There are other great, talented kids here too, like this fellow Redguard around my age called Baurus. He's not as good as me, but he's an excellent second-best rookie after me. He will tell you otherwise and say he's the best, but that's fine. I love that competitive fire in him. He seems like a great guy with a great personality in many other aspects too, and has a particularly fantastic sense of humor. We've become fast friends.

Yesterday, everything changed. I was called into the captain's office, and met Steffan face to face. He first said something that made me very happy and complimented me on my skills, calling me one of the most promising apprentices he's ever seen, only to tear down all my hype about being praised. He said he remembers me talking about being a traveling mercenary and an orphan from Hammerfell, and then also told me that my description matches that of a criminal who has a death warrant on his head in Chorrol.

The silence was long and deafening. All I could think was that I was in deep shit.

"Come clean", he said, setting his chin against his crossed fists and resting his elbows on the table. "There's nobody but us two here."

I supposed it would be in my best interest to start from the beginning and tell him everything. Well, I didn't really talk as much initially, as I just told him to read my journal. He asked me to expand on some parts, and it seems like he's not too bothered by any of this. He even smirked when reading that stuff about me and Erika, which made me a little ashamed.

After reading it, he said he couldn't blame me for what I did in my situation, even saying almost anyone would've done the same, and he seemed to believe me too. He thinks I'm a good kid, which was a massive relief for me. However, he said that I couldn't remain in Cyrodiil.

I thought I would be relieved from my position of being an apprentice there and then, but he went on to talk about how I could be a powerful asset for the Emperor in another province. After thinking about it for a moment, he said he had a perfect job opportunity for me in Morrowind, but he didn't go into details about what this job entails. Apparently, I'll learn that once I reach my destination. Oh, and he officially welcomed me to the Blades too.

I guess I must've made a really good impression on him to assign me on a mission like this, or maybe it was to protect me or Blades' reputation. Perhaps it's a mix of all three sprinkled with motives I can't think of right now.

But Morrowind, huh? That's the home of the Dark Elves, a place I never have even thought about visiting, considering that it's quite a walk away from my home in Hammerfell. I don't know much about their customs or anything like that, apart from the fact that the lands ruled by elves are pretty alien to those run by men. It'll probably be fine though, so I accepted the job.

Lastly, as I was leaving, he suddenly bought up my sister, and I'm glad he did because I was too afraid to bring the topic up myself. I asked him if there was anything he could do to help her get out of jail, but unfortunately, the answer was no. Even though he understands she's most likely being detained unfairly, it's outside his jurisdiction, and considering the Empire's overly bureaucratic nature, an appeal to have her released would probably be a slow and arduous process, perhaps even costly. Still, he promised to look into it in my stead, knowing I wouldn't be able to submit such an appeal by myself. Not sure if anything comes from that, but it's worth a try, and I appreciate the heck out of Steffan for doing that for me. He also guaranteed that everything would turn out just fine, and said that as long as I remained on the right path, I would be able to help my sister too.

I sure hope so, because I want to be reunited with her already. I wish she could just be freed right away, so I could bring her along with me to Morrowind.

This morning I packed up everything after getting a good night's sleep. I've told nobody the truth about why I'm leaving. Baurus seemed really bummed out, but he wished me all the best regardless. I hope we meet again one day. As I said, he's such a great and friendly guy with a bright future.

Now I'm staying in Bruma. I had to buy supplies and shit for the upcoming trip. Wish I could afford a horse, as it would make travel much quicker, but then again, I wouldn't be able to take it along my journey once I set off to travel on a boat. That's right, I won't be staying on the mainland, and will instead make my way to the city of Balmora to meet up with the local leader of the Blades, Caius Cosades. He'll fill me in with details of my job in full.

In a strange way, I'm looking forward to what will come of my trip there, even though I must admit, I don't like the idea of the growing distance between me and my sister. Still, no matter how far apart we are from each other, I know that each day forward is a day closer to when we eventually meet again, and knowing I've got the Blades behind me, and a stable job in front of me, I'm sure that day is going dawn sooner rather than later.

Backstories

• Aliya's Backstory
• Kanna's Backstory
• Karim's Backstory

Onward

• 1st Journal - Agent (By Aliya)