Talk:Disciplinary Action/Disciplinary Office/First Week/Running/Office: Difference between revisions
TodNaturlich (talk | contribs) Roster of detainees. |
TodNaturlich (talk | contribs) m Tod Naturlich moved page Talk:Disciplinary Action/Disciplinary Office/First Week/Running/Office-immediate to Talk:Disciplinary Action/Disciplinary Office/First Week/Running/Office: Simplifying path. |
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From your description I'm guessing you catched Benevolence and Judas, as well as Aliya. For a moment I thought you had catched the children of the secretary, but I see you avoided that. I'm also guessing the running girl was Ginny, and here I have to point out that he had already meet her when he visited his sister classroom, she was the one sitting on the front row, almost showing her panties and asking uncomfortable questions, so perhaps he should at least remember her. --[[User:Tod Naturlich|Tod Naturlich]] ([[User talk:Tod Naturlich|talk]]) 17:51, 26 September 2017 (CEST) | From your description I'm guessing you catched Benevolence and Judas, as well as Aliya. For a moment I thought you had catched the children of the secretary, but I see you avoided that. I'm also guessing the running girl was Ginny, and here I have to point out that he had already meet her when he visited his sister classroom, she was the one sitting on the front row, almost showing her panties and asking uncomfortable questions, so perhaps he should at least remember her. --[[User:Tod Naturlich|Tod Naturlich]] ([[User talk:Tod Naturlich|talk]]) 17:51, 26 September 2017 (CEST) | ||
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That was pretty much what I was thinking, didn't know how to take the timeline though. The first week bit is a little confusing sequence of events wise, although it kinda does make sense visiting his sister's class would be potentially near the beginning of the very first day, so that change should probably be made. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 18:13, 26 September 2017 (CEST) | |||
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It's not really important. I wanted the different paths to be taken from each node to be as independent as possible. So a reader can take whatever path he wants in whatever order and still "get" the story. In that sense, no path should be required to be read in order to understand other (with the exception of direct continuations, like with Suzy or the Nurse, where the indentation shows it's a continuation). Still, you can make references to events that happened in other paths. Like how you made him use the panties of another girl he had stored, or how Tihana mentions that Perl was wearing a diaper, even when that parts is not yet written. So mentioning here that he recognizes the girl from her sister's class is just a reference, but it does not directly imply that that path should be "earlier" chronologically. I hope this makes sense, this is the first time I try to tell a story in such a way. --[[User:Tod Naturlich|Tod Naturlich]] ([[User talk:Tod Naturlich|talk]]) 18:23, 26 September 2017 (CEST) | |||
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Shouldn't the secretary be told how to punish the boy? She might be familiar with the guidelines, but that looks like you gave her cart blanche --[[User:Notsooldpervert|Notsooldpervert]] ([[User talk:Notsooldpervert|talk]]) 06:23, 7 October 2017 (CEST) | |||
Latest revision as of 06:58, 28 November 2017
From your description I'm guessing you catched Benevolence and Judas, as well as Aliya. For a moment I thought you had catched the children of the secretary, but I see you avoided that. I'm also guessing the running girl was Ginny, and here I have to point out that he had already meet her when he visited his sister classroom, she was the one sitting on the front row, almost showing her panties and asking uncomfortable questions, so perhaps he should at least remember her. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 17:51, 26 September 2017 (CEST)
That was pretty much what I was thinking, didn't know how to take the timeline though. The first week bit is a little confusing sequence of events wise, although it kinda does make sense visiting his sister's class would be potentially near the beginning of the very first day, so that change should probably be made. Jemini (talk) 18:13, 26 September 2017 (CEST)
It's not really important. I wanted the different paths to be taken from each node to be as independent as possible. So a reader can take whatever path he wants in whatever order and still "get" the story. In that sense, no path should be required to be read in order to understand other (with the exception of direct continuations, like with Suzy or the Nurse, where the indentation shows it's a continuation). Still, you can make references to events that happened in other paths. Like how you made him use the panties of another girl he had stored, or how Tihana mentions that Perl was wearing a diaper, even when that parts is not yet written. So mentioning here that he recognizes the girl from her sister's class is just a reference, but it does not directly imply that that path should be "earlier" chronologically. I hope this makes sense, this is the first time I try to tell a story in such a way. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 18:23, 26 September 2017 (CEST)
Shouldn't the secretary be told how to punish the boy? She might be familiar with the guidelines, but that looks like you gave her cart blanche --Notsooldpervert (talk) 06:23, 7 October 2017 (CEST)