JoS/Henriette/10th Journal - New Beginning

Sun's Dawn, 28th, 4E 202

I've been staying at the Old Hroldan Inn. I'm happy to be here as a patron, as they don't ask any questions. Well, Skuli has been bugging me, but I know what he wants. I'll humor him later. Maybe.

I also got to have a decent bath to wash the smell of sweat and cum off my body, and it's so good to actually be wearing some clothes. I still have all of the ebony wrapped around my skin though… Not sure who can help me with these? They are pretty high-quality items. The padding feels really good and they don't even weigh all that much.

I don't feel like writing much… Just had to after yesterday and how I felt after killing that man. I don't regret what I did for a second, but… Did he deserve to die? Probably not. Oh well, what's done is done. At least he served his purpose in the food chain as prey for me to feast on. As for Markarth as a whole, I hope to never ever return there.

I'll be heading straight back to the sanctuary, but it's still a long way to Falkreath. They probably aren't expecting me back, but I'm sure they welcome me. Astrid told me that they've all had to deal with being imprisoned once or a few times themselves, so they can't really criticize me too hard for my "failure". That reminds me, is the contract on the Emperor still on? Have they failed, or have they succeeded without me? I hope not… I'd be devastated if that kill were to be taken away from me…

First Seed, 2nd, 4E 202

It seems like I have returned to the sanctuary at a strange time. It must've been an eventful day, and to top it off, none of them were expecting to ever see me ever again. They had heard how I was serving a life sentence in the Cidhna mines and even destined to be executed. There were even plans about the possibility of rescuing me due to me being Night Mother's chosen Listener, but those plans must've fallen apart due to me also being a relatively new addition to this guild. In either case, they were very happy to be wrong.

Anyhow, Cicero has done something to betray the Brotherhood or something. The situation looks messy, Veezara is badly injured, and Babette is tending to him. He's the only casualty in all of this though, as it appears that nobody else has been hurt. I find it hard to believe that he would try to kill his brothers and sisters without a good reason. Like, he's a lunatic, but so what? The tenets clearly prohibit harming the members of one's family and he follows these rules religiously, even more so than anyone else in this sanctuary. It also happens to be true that our current leader, Astrid, is the complete opposite of that. She openly admits to not caring about the old ways. I don't find it surprising that Cicero would get angry if someone were to push him the wrong way or even insult the Night Mother.

I am to act as a mediator in this situation, although my brothers and sisters insist on Cicero meeting justice. My job on paper is to kill him. I'm kind of split though… If it has to be done, if there's no other way, then so be it. He will die by my hand for his betrayal, but I want to hear him out first and listen to his side of the story. Astrid also instructed me to loan her horse, Shadowmere, to help me get to Cicero faster. I've never ridden a horse, but how hard can it be? Cicero's journals suggest that he's gone off to an abandoned Sanctuary in Dawnstar. Never even knew there was a place like that.

I've only regained my freedom and I'm already being pushed all this work… Isn't that just lovely? I guess some things never change. I don't even have time to go see Sofia. I wonder where she is? She probably misses me.

The good news is that there really isn't much work to do before we can reach our final target, as Astrid supposedly has everything going according to the plan. We really only have one major target left before we can target the Emperor himself, and we even have a set date for when he'll be visiting Skyrim, but I digress. Astrid wants me to focus on my current "contract", and will fill me in with the details later.

First Seed, 3rd, 4E 202

So, I talked to Cicero, heard what he had to say, listened to him, heard why he did what he did, and I thoroughly believe that I did the right thing.

He doesn't deserve to die, for he did no crime. All he did was defend Night Mother's honor against a woman who even I have my reservations about. For me to kill the Keeper, especially when you consider my role as the Listener, would be madness. That said, I understand what Astrid is thinking about as well and why she sees Cicero as a threat to be eliminated… But nobody has died yet, and nobody in our family has to die. That includes Cicero in my eyes. We should all learn from what took place.

Well, honestly, it won't be that easy. If Astrid learns that I spared Cicero's life, she would be pissed, and then it would not be just Cicero who was in hot water. So, just as Cicero and I agreed, I must lie. For his sake, for my sake, for everyone's sake, I will lie to Astrid, but Cicero cannot return to our sanctuary, at least not until we've fulfilled our contract and assassinated the Emperor. I trust this madman to hold his part of the deal and not show his face around our family again.

That kind of makes me wonder though, are we going to need a new Keeper, even if it's just temporary? I'm the only one who knows the binding words, but I don't have the binding tomes, which are crucial for a Keeper to have. I'm not sure where Cicero keeps them. Quite a predicament, if I may say so. Oh well, it's not something I'm going to have to worry about today or even tomorrow. Maybe I can make contact with Cicero in the future or vice versa.

I should return to Falkreath as soon as possible.

First Seed, 4th, 4E 202

Astrid was happy with me. She never suspected me of a lie. None of them did. She even let me keep the horse, as she suspects I have more use for it than she does. I mean, sure. Horses are really expensive, so to get one given to me for free is fantastic.

Now, back to more pressing matters. I was sent on a task I'm not too excited about completing, for it starts in Markarth. Just when I thought I would never return there, I'll have to go back there to collect information. Oh, Sithis, give me strength… Why must this happen to me…

Well, my actual target isn't in Markarth, I think, so it'll be a brief visit. My target this time around is a famous chef simply known as the Gourmet. Nobody knows who this person is… Well, almost nobody. He's meant to cook a meal to the Emperor on his visit to Solitude, which is only ten days away. Sheesh, my "release" from prison couldn't have come at a better time! Anyway, if someone were to pose as Gourmet and get away with it by stealing his Writ of Passage, a proof of his identity, that someone would have an easy access to the Emperor. I'm no chef, but this sounds like a recipe for a Bloody Sundas.

My best bet at finding any clues about his true identity is consulting a cook who used to have a signed copy of "Uncommon Taste", which happens to be a cookbook written by the Gourmet. He has better know, because the last thing I want to do is go back to that corrupt city for nothing…

First Seed, 5th, 4E 202

Dear diary, isn't it great to actually get to places quickly? Shadowmere is such a good companion, don't you think? Horses are actually quite fascinating and lovely animals.

Anyway, the first thing that happened to me when I came to Markarth… Wait for it… I was arrested! Nah, just kidding, but the guards said that I should go with them, so it might've as well been an arrest. It wasn't in my best interest to refuse this invitation. They then took me straight to Jarl Igmund to have him personally apologize to me on behalf of all the wrongdoing that had been done to me. That's it. An apology.

A mere apology.

Then and there, I reached my hand to my leather armor, and I stripped it all off. Half-naked, down to my underwear in front of the Jarl, I pointed my finger at the permanent marking that now sits right under my belly button, and I asked him, "what are you going to do about this?"

"Nothing", he said. There's nothing that can be done about it. For starters, he claims he doesn't even know what this mark means and insists that nobody working for him would've even put it on me. I called him out on that, but he insisted that this was the case. "Must've been something those Silver-Bloods could know more about", he said. As much as I hate to admit it, it doesn't seem like he's lying… Either that, or he's really good at it.

I then pointed at my collar and said, "Then at least get rid of these things". That he was willing to help me with for free, but let's be honest, they probably just did it to get this bondage gear back to their own hands, not because they wanted to help me or anything.

He offered me one final financial compensation, if you can even call it that. I have a right to purchase property in his city. Can you believe the nerve of these bastards? Who do they take me for? I didn't come here to be insulted and humiliated again, yet that's all they do! I swear, these nobles… I hope there's a special plane of Oblivion where all these entitled, posh and greedy nobles go on to rot in for all eternity. And I hope they take tourists, as I would love to pay just to spit on them while they writhe in agony.

Well, I did manage to complete my task here though. The chef I was looking for was called Anton Virane. Finding the right time to approach him took some time, but as soon as we were alone, intimidating and murdering him was child's play. Now I even know who the Gourmet is. He's an Orc, and he's staying at the Nightgate Inn in the village of Heljarchen. Now, that sounds like a good place for someone like him to hide in, and a good setting for an assassin to get away with murder.

First Seed, 7th, 4E 202

I've never actually stopped by at Heljarchen, and that's partially due to how small it is. It's basically a small steading of half a dozen houses - about half the size of Riverwood - and the land is mostly owned by the owner of "Heljarchen Hall", who they say is an eccentric old man who doesn't go out much. Nightgate Inn is the only service this little lakeside village offers as the land is not arable and is covered in snow almost year-round.

My target's name was Balagog gro-Nolob, something like that, hard to pronounce. I was lucky to find him outside with nobody else there. I prepared his last meal for him and decided to serve it raw for the local Slaughterfish population to feast on. I had my own bite, and I must say, the blood of a man with a good palate tastes better than your common bandit. Their blood has a lot richer texture to it. Then, I simply left, and that was that.

I was so glad I was able to find the Gourmet so quick. There's still a week until the fateful day, a lot of time to prepare. After that, the Emperor awaits.

First Seed, 16th, 4E 202

So, the fateful day came, and I carried out my duties to absolute perfection. I made it to Solitude and then inside Castle Dour unseen. Commander Maro guided me inside, and I could let out a sigh of relief, for I knew, I so knew, that if even one person outside saw me enter this building, I wouldn't be able to go about killing Titus Mede the Second. I had to be very secretive about protecting Gourmet's identity if you know what I mean.

It was time to poison the soup and serve it to his majesty. Yes, that's right. That was the plan Astrid had told me to go along with.

I watched, basically salivating and hyperventilating just looking at this old man taking a spoonful of his poisoned meal, but that wasn't going to be enough. As soon as it became evident that he was going to die, I started killing. Every noble in the room, both of the guards, the poor chef who quite frankly didn't deserve to be dragged into this… They all had to die. Now, only one man was left who knew my identity, and he had to be dealt with…

By this point, you must've realized that I don't exactly convey great excitement through my writings, my dear diary… Things started going south from here.

It soon became apparent to me that the man who I killed wasn't the Emperor at all. He was a damned impostor. A decoy! That's what Commander Maro said. It was an ambush designed to have me caught. They knew I was coming. I had been set up!

I wasn't thinking at that point about the consequences anymore. I tried to shoot Maro as soon as possible, but I didn't manage to hit him. I faced the rest of the guards instead, which gave Maro plenty of time to escape. There were just three of the Penitus Oculatus left here in Solitude, and they were all intending to kill me. I still don't know if Maro has described me to the city guards… I heard these folks talking about how this business is theirs and theirs alone, and that Solitude's own city guard has nothing to do with this operation. Even still, it might very well be that my identity as the killer is soon known to everyone… It frightens me to think that I might not be able to ever show my face in public again.

And that wasn't even my only worry. You see, there was still the issue of me being set up. I now knew there was a traitor in the Brotherhood, and in the end, that traitorous fool cost us all because little did that traitor know that Penitus Oculatus was set to eradicate the Dark Brotherhood once and for all. Whatever deal they had between them has been burned to the ground.

I hurried back to Falkreath, hoping I could save some of my brothers and sisters. The sanctuary was in flames by the time I made it there. Penitus Oculatus now knew where our sanctuary was, and they were there to destroy our home and kill as many of my brothers and sisters as they could. I ran inside, intent on taking revenge on as many of Empire's soldiers as I could.

First, I found Veezara. He was wounded, but not mortally so. With a potion, I saved his life. I moved on to find Arnbjorn next. He was alive when I first saw him, but he had been completely overwhelmed. we weren't able to save his life, but we at least were able to avenge him. Gabriela was fighting back two soldiers alone, and she was doing a surprisingly good job at it. She didn't end up needing much help, which was great. Nazir was fighting the leader of this operation, and he was standing his ground. It was clear that he had the biggest task in front of him though. Together with the others, we were able to save his life.

At that point, the Penitus Oculatus had been defeated. We didn't know yet what had come of Astrid or Babette, but Gabriela testified to Festus being dead. It was time for us to escape the sanctuary, or we would all surely die. That's when Night Mother spoke to me. She told me to come to her, for she would be able to protect me. I trusted her, and I hid inside her coffin once more, hopefully for the final time. After that, I heard the roof collapse on me. I prayed that my brothers made it out alive, I tried to shout and yell, but I couldn't hear anything that was going on outside.

This right here is the most terrifying prospect here because I exactly won't die of hunger or any other pesky thing that mortals concern them about, so because I was stuck there, that's all that I was ever going to be. Sure, I had weapons on me and I could've just killed myself, but just imagine for yourself… What's it like being stuck in a coffin, unable to move, escape or die? Doesn't sound too pleasant, doesn't it?

I fortunately woke up to the sound of the survivors talking outside as they were trying to dig me out from the rubble just a few hours into being stuck underground. Nazir and Babette were there too, so they had survived. That was also when the Night Mother spoke to me once more. I was given a task to go talk to Astrid, which meant that she was still alive.

That's when I learned it was her all along. She was the one who sold me out. She thought she would be able to protect the family by sacrificing me, and look where it got us, my dear leader. Look where it got you… Now you're begging for me to finish you off so you can be judged by our Father.

I carried out my final order given from her. Astrid is dead.

But now, I believe there's still work to be done. As the Listener, it's my job to bind this family back together. Before she died, Astrid said that I should lead the sanctuary, but let's be real, I'm not fit to be a leader. I've never been a "leader" of anything in my life, and I didn't hold to this leadership position for longer than a few minutes either. I pointed my finger at Nazir and relinquished my leadership there and then, ordering him to lead us. It made him laugh out loud, but he accepted. My remaining brothers and sisters will move towards Dawnstar, where we'll be setting our new base of operations. It's a perfectly adequate Sanctuary, after all.

As for me? Well, I still have an Emperor to butcher and don't think I've forgotten about Maro either. Night Mother told me that Amaund Motierre knows Emperor's true location, and that I must go meet him in Whiterun. That I'll do. Nothing will stop me from achieving my goal.

First Seed, 17th, 4E 202

My journey took me to Whiterun, and it ended up being a surprisingly eventful day. There was a Dawnguard hunter in the city. He attacked me in the streets, kept yelling at me, publicly accused me of being a vampire in front of everyone while aiming his crossbow at me. Well, he's not wrong, but would some privacy really hurt? It got bloody really quickly when it became apparent that he didn't intend to let me walk out from Whiterun alive. I had to kill him to defend myself. I didn't want to, not with all these guards here seeing what had just happened, but at least I'm off the hook as far as bounties are concerned. I mean, I DID defend myself. They looked at me weird though, and one of them was even trying to stop me. I'm glad he didn't pursue me after I basically told him that I didn't want to talk about it. It's not their business.

After that scary event, I finally made it to the Bannered Mare, where I was meant to talk with Amaund Motierre once more. He wasn't expecting me at all, and he thought the deal was off because he thought I, along with everyone else, were dead. He was overjoyed and astonished to hear that I still intend to honor the contract despite everything I've been through. He gave me the location of the true Emperor. He's still in Skyrim, but not for long. The ship is expected to depart in a little less than two full days, after which he will return to the Imperial City. Whatever chance I ever had of assassinating him will become a thousand times harder if that were to happen.

I feel that Sofia could be in the city, but I have no time to look for her. Time is money. I feel like I need rest, and tomorrow's going to be a busy day. I asked Saadia at the inn for a favor and told her that if she sees Sofia, she is to wait for me at the Bannered Mare for my return. I'll be sleeping here for just a little while before I ride to Solitude. It sucks not being able to sleep much, but once I succeed, I'll have all the rest I need.

First Seed, 19th, 4E 202

Okay, that was… Something. Let's go through this together, shall we?

My problems started as soon as I stepped out from the Bannered Mare. It wasn't City Guards, or the Dawnguard, or even the Vigilants, but rather a bounty hunter all the way from Solitude. He was demanding money from me, saying I had a high bounty on my head. I find it hard to believe that attempting to murder the Emperor would let me get off with a mere bounty, so I immediately knew this was something else… But what? Astrid did talk about having to bribe and blackmail the guard in Solitude before she actually betrayed me. The descriptions of my crimes were vague and honestly seemed like horseshit, which meant this was another set-up… I do recognize that I've committed crimes, but I do not admit to what they accuse me of. It could very well be that the guard weren't happy with what they were getting paid, and now they're demanding more payments from me to keep quiet. Gods, they're so corrupt, the whole lot of them in every stinking hold of this province. Is it the war that has sucked every shred of integrity away from law enforcement, or did they have none to begin with?

Then, I took a look at the sum I owe: 2000 gold Septim along with a 500 Septim fee for the bounty hunter. I had enough to pay for the bounty, but the fees? I didn't have enough. I was just two hundred Septim short. I begged him, asking, "Is there any way I could pay using some other method?"

There was one way, but only one. He wanted to use my body as payment. I… I had to do it. I caved immediately. I knew I would waste time and possibly even waste my chance at killing the Emperor, but I had no choice. Besides, I don't mind getting impregnated by that bounty hunter if that means I get to walk free…

He dragged me outside the city to the stables. There was a barn meant for cows for us to use. He first started groping me while we were both still clothed, and he saw something. He pointed it out while still rubbing my coochie, and he laughed. That's when I looked down and saw the mark shine through my clothing. It was a bizarre sight, almost as if it had been printed on my leather vest, or mirrored on top of it like some kind of strange Dwemer projector. I had never before noticed the tattoo behaving like that. It really is enchanted with some magic?

He licked my ear and whispered, "I know what that mark is… I never knew you were this kind of girl…" I tried to ask what he meant, but his answer didn't satisfy me a whole lot. He just said that this mark means that I'm a filthy whore and will now get what I deserve.

Then he forcefully stripped me down and told me to ride his cock. I was in no position to refuse, so I simply positioned my hip on top of it and descended down on his towering schlong. Even though all of my weight was on top of it, I couldn't take it all the way down to its hilt. He, too, showed me some love, and he kept groping me and massaging my back, squeezing my butt. She kept urging me to move, telling me to do the work I was getting paid to do.

From there onwards, I rode him, bounced, and moved my hips up and down out of my own volition. He didn't have to do anything. He was so big, his rock-hard cock was pulsating and twitching deep inside me, and he made me come before he was even close to climax himself. Even still, he kept ordering me to do the work and make him cum. I couldn't waste time. I just couldn't! Every single thrust was a second wasted, but he was just so enduring. At that point, I finally caved and started asking for him to thrust his hips into me.

He made me beg for it, he made me recite so many embarrassing lines, and I did it all as instructed. I guess having me moan for him and lovingly call him "daddy" was the trick that finally made him grab my waist and do me roughly. He grabbed my waist lustfully and pulled me downward, almost as if trying to crush my womb with his cock. It wasn't long after this that his seed filled my uterus.

That was just the beginning though. He said that I owe so much that he will use me for at least a few more hours. I mean, he's not wrong… 200 Septim may not sound like a lot, but you can probably do a high-class prostitute with that kind of money… Besides, I wasn't in any sort of position to haggle. I had to bite my tongue because this bounty hunter's colleagues and superiors know damn well who he's collecting bounties from. Resisting him would've just created more problems.

The good news was that he was properly on the high gear and was more than happy to do all the work from now. He pushed me to the ground with my face pressed against the hay meant for livestock, and he started pummeling me and my ass from behind. Every single thrust into me was so deep that his hip kept clapping against my butt, making loud and wet noise echo in the barn. He popped a bottle of Skooma, and he drank it. It was some kind of performance enhancement drug. I knew that it would take a long time for him to let me go. He kept calling me a calf and constantly compared me to a cow and a farm animal, probably driving home the fact that we were doing it in a barn.

Well, he luckily started getting bored after about two hours when I was already getting tired and unresponsive. I laid naked, twitching on my back, completely covered in his cum. He dumped a bucket full of cold water on me and told me to wash up and get out of here before the cows come back here. Otherwise, there would be another bounty on my ass for trespassing in a private area.

I was swearing, struggling to get up, and I did try to clean myself to the best of my abilities. I dressed up and slowly approached Shadowmere. It was time for us to ride. I was already behind schedule, and then I felt like I really had to hurry. The fact that I was still sore, sensitive, and dripping from what he did, kind of made me want to slow down a little. Riding a horse after getting raped for a little over two hours isn't the most pleasant thing in the world.

It was night by the time I made it to Solitude. I had already stopped to rest once, to have Shadowmere eat and drink a little. I was so lucky to not run into any problems on the way. I had only until sunrise to complete my mission. The Katariah, Emperor's personal ship, was set to depart in four hours.

First, I found and targeted Commander Maro. I snuck up to him and placed my dagger on his neck. I whispered straight into his ear, asking if he still remembered me… How could he have forgotten the bitch who killed his son? I didn't let him have any last words. I just simply slit his throat and let him fall off the pier straight to the bottom of the sea.

Then, it was time for business.

Boarding Katariah was a wet endeavor, but it was ultimately kind of easy even though I'm not the best swimmer out there. It soon became apparent they were expecting someone to infiltrate the ship. I knew I wasn't going to defeat them head-on, so I had to hide after taking out the sailor who alerted everyone. From there onward, I started slowly and methodically eliminating my threats one by one. I tapped into every bit of blood magic I had available to stay hidden in the shadows, and I drank every single potion of invisibility I had. I felt like throwing up after downing the last one, but it was necessary for my survival. Everyone aboard this ship had to die to protect my identity.

I sat down after I was sure I was done with them all and safe. I took a look at a giant door reinforced with steel, the only place I hadn't checked. I realized that it was the final door that stood between me and Titus Mede the Second. My heart started pounding, I began to breathe heavily through my mouth, and I was smiling. I stood up and went on to pick the lock.

I slammed the door open and walked in quietly, and there he was: the Emperor himself. We both just stood there, looking at each other. He seemed calm about the whole situation but also a little bit surprised. I was grinning and probably blushing like a maniac.

Then, he just started talking, calmly and normally. He wasn't begging for his life or anything like that. He said that he had been expecting me, that nobody could stop the Dark Brotherhood, and that he had already accepted his fate. The only thing he was shocked about was, well… Me, my appearance, my size… He wasn't expecting a child.

His voice and his calm demeanor also helped me calm and relax a little. I sighed heavily and told him that I'm an eternal child, a vampire. He simply nodded, smiling. He understood very well, and he wasn't even disgusted. It made me kind of happy.

He told me to sit down and to have a chat with him. It was his final request before dying. I decided to humor him. After all, I had already won, and it's not like he could do anything to hurt me.

He once again assured me that he had accepted death and after all of this was done, he would go down without a fight. There's nobody in this ship but us anymore. The only thing that could've realistically alerted the guards at the shore would've been them seeing that the boat was behind schedule, but that wasn't going to happen for at least one or two hours. I had no reason to doubt any of his words.

He asked me about the person who ordered his assassination, about the person who put this into motion. I refused to tell him, which he was alright with, but he still had one more dying wish. He wanted to arrange a contract of his own and have me kill that person. I asked him, what's in it for me? Well, there really wasn't… He could've offered me treasure on this ship, but he probably knew that I would take all the jewelry from this room anyway.

I told him, "I already fulfilled your dying wish and had a chat with you. That's all you get, old man".

To that, he simply smiled and said, "Pity". We weren't done talking yet. He wanted to ask about me, and I told him that I used to live in Helgen. He offered me his condolences about my family and then went on to talk about his own family. He said that he always wanted to have many children and that looking at me made him wish that he had one more daughter of his own. Half-jokingly I told him that I can't help with that, as I'm probably already pregnant, to which he laughed. He thought I was funny and then just turned his back to me. He didn't want to keep the gods waiting.

I dropped my weapons and walked up to him. I ordered him to get to his knees, so he did. Then, I placed my arms around his shoulders and hugged him for good ten seconds or so. I could feel him shivering. He was afraid after all… It's only natural… He was a big boy though… He did well to fight his instinct to cry and shout…

I pressed my teeth to his neck, and I did it quite calmly and gently, almost as if to savor a good meal. Then, I took his blood. I took lots of it. He didn't resist at all. He let it all happen. At one point, it seemed like he was really hurting and trying to fight me off after all, but it was already getting late for that. He didn't have the strength to even raise his arms. I could feel his heart stop beating, but I continued. I didn't want to waste a perfectly good meal.

Soon after I was done, I laid him down on his back, and I sat next to him, staring at the starlit sky outside the window.

It didn't feel anywhere as exciting as I had hoped. Honestly, I always knew that whatever feelings of pleasure I expected from killing him would never live up to my hype anyway. I was just so very calm about it. It's like, I knew I had succeeded in doing what many would consider impossible. It just doesn't feel real…

First Seed, 21st, 4E 202

News had already reached Whiterun by the time I made it back there late last evening. Amaund Motierre was elated that I had succeeded, that we all succeeded. It cost us a sanctuary, our leader and two of my brothers too, but after a stunt like this, the Dark Brotherhood can only be feared going forward and grow back to its prominence. With me as the Listener and Nazir as its leader of day-to-day operations, this organization will know glory again.

My reward was waiting for me in the room we first met. I was just about to take my leave when Sofia came to me and took my hand. She was happy to see me, but she seemed a little rushed and panicked at the same time. There were vampire-hunters just outside the inn. They had paid off the guard, and they could even get away with killing me in broad daylight.

My reputation really has taken a deep dive into the gutter. It's like everyone has some dirt on me. I've made some questionable life choices, and the fact that I'm so recognizable doesn't serve me well either… It might be a good idea for me to lay low for the time being. Sofia's tip probably saved my life, or at least saved me from a whole lot of trouble, and we escaped from the window. We managed to make it out from the city unnoticed. I hugged her so tight after that, and she hugged me too. We both agreed that it was time for us to travel together again.

The tomb isn't too far away from the city, so getting there was quick. It was quiet and empty when we got there, and there it was, my reward. Our reward. Huge sacks of gold. Like, how much even is here? Must be well over ten thousand Septim!

I can't wait to get to Dawnstar. My brothers and sisters must've settled down already.

First Seed, 22nd, 4E 202

I had almost forgotten about Cicero. That joker was waiting for me outside, and he told me that I had made a huge mistake letting him live. Now it was time for me to die!

…Obviously, he was joking. He had heard about all the news and developments that had happened and I personally told him that yes, he's more than welcome to come back now. I said to my brothers and sisters that we should all learn from this and be grateful for our Mother's blessing, be grateful that nobody had to die and no more of our family would have to die. Nazir agreed with me and welcomed Cicero back. Veezara is having hard time forgiving Cicero, but I'm sure he'll come along.

We then went on to count the coins. It amounted to twenty thousand Septim in total, so it's obviously a huge jackpot for us. It then became a discussion about how to use it. They insisted that I should keep it and use it as I see fit. It's thanks to me that we have all this money to begin with, and it's partially thanks to me that some of these people are still alive. I was honestly touched by their words, but I told them that I would be donating a good portion of the money for the restoration of our Brotherhood. I kind of want to decorate this new sanctuary and make it feel like a home. Delvin Mallory owes us a favor anyway, so he can help with that. I'm not expecting it to be cheap.

As for the remaining money I'll be keeping, I plan on finally finding a place where I can live in. Maybe I could live in the Rift? It's one of the few holds in Skyrim where my reputation isn't completely terrible at this point, as I actually have some good friends there. Windhelm and Winterhold probably fit that criteria too, but let's be honest, I don't want to live anywhere where it's snowy throughout the year. I want to have a garden!

I told Nazir and everyone else my plans. I told them that I need to lay low for a while and take some time off. I've been through a lot, I deserve it, I don't care what others think. Luckily, they're all very understanding. I still have to visit here to lend my ear to Night Mother to hear about those who had prayed to her and those who need our services.

I want to focus on other things going forward though. I have a lot of goals in my life. I hope to see this sanctuary in better shape next time I visit, maybe even meet some new recruits. Can't wait to boss them around and tease them.

First Seed, 25th, 4E 202

As soon as I got to Riften, I made it down to the Ratway. I'm still part of the guild, but nobody really cared about seeing me all that much, considering how little I contribute towards it. I'm not even sure if half of them know what had happened to me a few months ago.

Well, they did start paying attention when I started putting money on the table and discussing business with Delvin.

Nobody was allowed to listen to us, we spoke in very hushed tones, but they did watch. They watched us make deals and count these coins for at least three hours. I'm an awful negotiator when it comes to math and finances and I feel like Delvin was taking advantage of this fact, but even despite this, I was able to come to a deal that I'm more than happy with.

Renovating the sanctuary took about half of the money, which I was okay with and had already accepted. I'm expecting this investment to pay itself back in the form of future contracts, not just for me but for all of my brothers and sisters there. I'm sure we'll be getting a lot of business. Man, Mercer must be so mad that I'm making waves everywhere except here. I'm so glad that Delvin is being smart about this.

I was still left with a lot of money to spare, so I asked him if he knew any good properties for sale. I had really only two requirements; it has to have good connections to the nearby areas to be used as a center of operations for me, but it also has to be as far away from a major city as possible. Lucky for me, he had a place in mind, and it fell well within my budget.

There's a small manor located in the woods in a mountainous region northeast of Ivarstead, a little bit downstream the Darkwater River from the Lake Geir towards the valley of Eastmarch. It was apparently built about two hundred years ago as a summer cabin for some wealthy merchant but was eventually sold and resold over and over again from owner to owner. Nobody has wanted to live in it ever since, which is strange because there's absolutely nothing wrong with the building, apart from its secluded location. It hasn't been in use for fifty years so it could use some cleaning. I'm really happy with the deal.

So, we negotiated one final deal with Delvin, and then it was all done. It was time for him to get to work and start hiring some guys to do the fixing. I was left with only a little over a thousand Septim, but who cares? I invested it all in something useful, something that no bandit can take away from me!

I'm going to be working around the house with Sofia as well. There's a lot of work to be done and it's not going to do itself.

• 11th Journal - Into the Depths