JoS/Kanna/16th Journal - Grazelands

Morning Star, 31st, 3E 428

Yesterday was the last day of our visit with the Erabenimsun tribe, meaning we can finally continue our journey today. Before we leave though, I suppose I should write about the strange dream I just had. I believe it to be some kind of vision from Azura, kind of like the one I saw when I first arrived at Vvardenfell by boat, and the one I saw when I picked up the ring from her. Instead of showing me the future though, it showed me the past through the eyes of Nerevar.

I only remember small tidbits and snippets, although it all felt so real, almost as if I was there myself. When I, for example, fought on the battlefield, it was almost as if I was really there cutting through my enemies like butter. I wielded a long sword, and I think some of it has stuck to me. Like, I picked up a broadsword from the new Ashkhan's armory later, a while before writing this down, and took a few practice swings. I can't really handle anything this heavy with one hand, as I've got a body of a child, but I know how to fight with one. It's bizarre because I've never swung a sword this big before. Is it because of that dream, or is it just Karim's teachings sticking to me?

That's by far not the only thing I remember from the dream vividly. I remember talking to some Gold-skinned elf, a male who looked older than he really was with that long, white beard of his, talking to him about something really dull, like he was advising me on a political matter or something. I also remember traveling in a caravan in a location I can't quite put my finger on and coming across a young rogue, who to me appeared to be either a feminine boy, or perhaps a masculine girl. He was a hermaphrodite, and I saw something in this poor youth, promising to take him into my care.

Then, there was the wedding night. I was there, standing next to a woman dressed in a royal gown, and a long-bearded man who I think was a Dwemer presented us both with gifts, both of them being swords. The next thing I knew, I was on a bed with my newly-wed wife. She was naked before me, on all her fours, lustfully moaning my name. My hands ran across her supple waist, sank into her golden skin, and my eyes ran across the black tapestry all over her body. There were tattoos on her stomach and her back, all the way from her shoulders to her wrists, and on her long legs too. Her body was a canvas, and it was equally beautiful as it was sexy.

That was one of those realistic parts too. Like, I actually felt what it's like having a penis, and I remember so vividly how it felt when I railed it in and out of her. Her tightness around my dick… For fucks sake, just writing down "my dick" feels weird. Something about it felt so familiar and just as intense, while the other aspects of experiencing sex as a male felt bizarre, almost alien. I had this animalistic, beast-like desire to see it all to the end, like I couldn't even control myself, simply because of how amazing it felt.

Even though I felt like I had reached some kind of climax during this wet dream, I didn't feel fully satisfied when I woke up. I just laid on that bed with an annoying longing, with my head tucked down completely under the blanket along with the rest of my body. I touched myself, but obviously, that extension of me was gone. I was wet, I was horny, and since I had already started it, I masturbated. It's something I hadn't done in ages… Not since I arrived on this island, at the very least. I bit into my pillow to muffle myself, wanting to spare myself from the embarrassment of having Kanna or some of my hosts find out, and I rubbed myself all the way to the climax. Yet, I can't say I felt truly satisfied even after that.

Now, I'm just annoyed, still trying to piece everything back together. I should try to focus on what's real and what's not and forget about that dream, or at least parts of it. At least I can appreciate what men go through during sex, I suppose.

Sun's Dawn, 1st, 3E 428

We arrived on a little boat on the southern shores of Grazelands - also known as Sunna Guradan - located in the easternmost parts of Vvardenfell, a vast expanse that's about the most normal-looking biome you can find on this island. Reminds me of Cyrodiil a little with its long stretches of green grass, flowers, and wheat dotting the landscape. Got some hills and forest too, with few giant mushrooms in sight. All that's missing are farms, travelers on the roads, and ancient Ayleid ruins. Kind of strange though; all this arable land, but so few farmers? I guess House Telvanni - who governs the area - just doesn't give a shit about this area.

Our first encounter with an "intelligent" creature was with a Nord, and let me just tell you in advance, this land never fails to amaze me with its crazy inhabitants. We found him buck-naked, standing in front of us, with his little friend standing as well, rambling on and on about some witch. I tried to avert my eyes from that big white thing while Kanna was just facepalming profusely. That Nord had absolutely no shame about having his erect twig and berries on full display.

Since he mentioned a witch, that's what we decided to talk to him about. He had hired her to escort him from Tel Aruhn to the town of Vos, but as soon as they left, she used, and I quote, "her foul trickery" against him to steal his gold, armor, his priced enchanted battle-axe, and most importantly, his pride. He then explained how she had summoned some foul creature of Oblivion to anally rape him, and he was being disturbingly descriptive.

Now, I mentioned him being crazy, and that's mainly due to how he presented himself without shame, but he also started going on about how he's gonna give that damned witch back what she did to him tenfold, going to describe at least in five different ways he's gonna rape that bloody bitch. Not gonna lie, his graphic explanations made me uncomfortable, and I eventually just told him to shut up, and that we would help him. In hindsight, even entertaining the idea of helping him was a huge mistake. We should've fucked off right there and then, but even though we ended up following him, at least we decided to not help him in the end.

We found a camp by the road not too far off to the north, where a woman was enjoying a bright summer day. That damn Nord flew into a rage and charged, roaring and screaming like a madman, going on about how the blood of her anus was gonna coat her cock or something. We weren't sure what to do or if we should interject, but it seemed like the Dunmer woman seemed distressed and was screaming at the pervert to go away. She noticed us and asked why we had brought that man back to him, begging us to intervene. We weren't really even sure what was true here and what wasn't, but we came to her aid in the end. Something about that guy just rubbed us wrong…

For what it's worth, she's no evil witch, and honestly, even if she is, I don't care. She's a Telvanni retainer - like me - not that I recognized her. As a sign of goodwill, she was even willing to let us take her camp, as she was heading back to Tel Ahurn for more work, as this gig of escorting a Nord through the plains turned out to be a bust for her. I guess we also saved her… Although at the same time, we did bring the man to him… Whatever… All's well that ends well!

Sun's Dawn, 2nd, 3E 428

News travel fast, and my arrival was expected within the community of Tribe Zainab. Local Ashkhan Kaushad welcomed me warmly and invited me for a drink in his yurt, along with Kanna, of course, and as friendly and welcoming as he was, he was equally blunt and honest.

From what it seems, the decision has already been made by Sonummu Zabamat - the local wise woman - to trust me and believe in my proof, meaning half the work was already done here, but Kaushad said he isn't gonna accept me as a "Nerevarine" merely because of some magical ring. He admitted that while he has no problems with outlanders in these lands, the idea of Nerevarine being an elf of foreign blood doesn't sit well with him, not that he's too interested in that particular superstition and prophecy anyway. He said they don't need any kind of "unifying leader" or a hero to help them either since their tribe has remained untouched by troubles and conflicts, with them untouched by even the blight. Like seriously, the Zainab tribe is filthy rich, with trade and commerce being their game. And lastly, there was also the matter of my gender…

Kaushad is fiercely loyal to local traditions, and thus he doesn't believe in women holding positions of leadership. I challenged him on this, asking why there are wise women then, but he just laughed at me, saying that they are not and cannot be considered true leaders. I also mentioned various other influential female leaders from history, which even include the local goddess Almalexia, but he just said those ladies aren't part of the Ashlander culture. I even tried to argue that I'm not interested in being a traditional leader, as all I care about at this point is the fulfillment of the prophecy. He, however, argued otherwise.

"Nerevar wasn't a leader, the king of the Chimer by right, but by accomplishment", he argued. "He was a hero who fought to liberate our people and united us."

"And Sonummu herself recognizes me as the Incarnate. I am Nerevar."

"By your own admission, you said you're not interested in being any kind of leader", Kaushad continued and smiled. "That to me suggests otherwise. Besides, you're still just a girl."

There's obviously nothing I can - or even want to do - about my gender, so for him to use it as a reason to dismiss me seemed incredibly unfair. So what if it's their tradition? These are very untraditional times we're living in. All I really could say in return was to just give me an opportunity to prove myself. I may not be the man Nerevar was some four thousand years ago when he lived, and I may not be a king, but I for damn sure know I'm capable of being a hero.

He thought about it and sighed, admitting that even accepting me as some kind of symbolic gesture felt uncomfortable to him. Still, in the end, he also admits he doesn't really care since it won't change anything. Besides, there is one thing I could do to help his people, one ancient enemy that has tested the tribe for several years now, an enemy he hasn't been able to defeat. A vampire called Calvario - "a foul spawn of Molag Bal", as he described him - takes refuge in a nearby tomb, using it as a base for his crimes to capture and murder unsuspecting travelers. To prove my worth and might to Kaushad, I should kill him and liberate their tribe from this evil. I've never ever dealt with vampires, so I'm a little anxious and worried. I mean, I cannot become a vampire myself considering that I'm immune to all mortal diseases, but they're more powerful than your regular undead and mortals, are they not? Kaushad called this an ancient enemy, so I suppose we're talking about an old and powerful foe.

That still wasn't the end of our discussion though, because after the task is done, he will have another quest for me. In addition to the trial of combat, he demands a personal favor from me, but refused to elaborate further. I guess I'll find out later then!

Anyway, these tasks will have to wait because we got lost trying to look for the cave. Isn't that just great? As beautiful as these vast meadows of Grazelands are, it's easy to get lost because every direction looks the same. We were using the tower of Tel Vos as our guide, kind of like a giant lighthouse in the sea of green grass, but that didn't help us. We decided to call it a day and just rest there.

The town of Vos is actually quite a small community of farmers and herders with no services beyond a small temple, but Tel Vos, now that's an interesting building. It's an old Imperial fortress with some of the tallest towers I've ever seen, and the whole grey stone building has been taken over by this massive mushroom tree, which in its own right is even taller than this castle. It's not quite like the White-Gold Tower, but it's still the tallest structure I've seen anywhere in Morrowind.

This tower belongs to Master Aryon, the youngest of all the Telvanni Masters. He lives here alongside his servants, offering services like stores and lodging, has a whole army of mercenaries as guards, and he even owns a Dwemer museum. Yeah, he's a rich guy! He was busy with something when I arrived, but I'm going to meet him tomorrow.

Now, we rest. Got to gather my strength before I can levitate to his tower tomorrow. Like damn, he's gonna be hard to reach, I fear.

Sun's Dawn, 3rd, 3E 428

It's a good thing I can levitate, jump high, and even slow down my falling speed because if I were to drop down on the road up this mushroom, I would flatten like a pancake. It's also good that I have no fear of heights; it makes it easier to appreciate the view. I could see all the way across the inner sea and gaze upon the mighty Boethian mountains of the Telvanni peninsula.

Despite having no bloody idea who I was, Master Aryon greeted me warmly and welcomed me to his private quarters, eager to hear about my business. He was talking in a very polite manner, and based on my experiences, he's definitely the most normal of Telvanni Masters I've encountered so far. He's just a normal, talented dude with no abnormal quirks or other personality disorders. He looks so young though… Not young like Therana, but he's got no wrinkles on his adult face or anything like that. In fact, he was quite a handsome man.

I went straight to the business, saying that I was looking to become the Telvanni Hortator. As proof of being the Incarnate, I presented my new awesome ring. Lucky for me, he didn't doubt me for a second, but he had some questions for me.

"Aliya, is it? I've heard about you. Names of talented retainers looking to make a name for themselves rarely escape my vision, and you're no exception. I can tell you're extraordinary." Truth be told, I was beyond flattered by his words. Nobody with as high a ranking as him has ever praised me that well. "But are you really suitable to take upon the duty of Hortator?"

I do intend to fulfill the prophecy and cast down the false gods, and also to eradicate Dagoth Ur, as it seems like the goddess of twilight herself has chosen me for this duty, but I'm not sure if that "duty" is what he means when he says "duty". I told him about my intentions along with a question of my own, asking what would be my duty as the Hortator of the Telvanni.

He explained that Hortator is a leader and a champion, but not a leader in the traditional sense of the word. Hortator leads by inspiration, challenging opposing heroes, going on long, desperate quests, going alone into the citadels of their enemies, and confronting dangers that no one else in the House would be strong, courageous, or foolish enough to face. This is Hortator's duty, according to him. With a smile on his face, he said what I consider my duty and what he considers to be Hortator's duty align in this case, meaning that he would vouch for me becoming the Hortator of House Telvanni.

So far, so good, or so I thought. "Unfortunately though, as I see it now, I won't vote for you even if I think you're worthy, at least not yet."

I questioned him on why and also asked him about "voting", so he had to explain that to me too. Each and every member of the Telvanni council here in Vvardenfell would have to vote for me, and the vote would have to be unanimous, with every single person voting in my favor. There are also a few councilors living outside Vvardenfell, most notably in Port Telvannis, Tel Aedrin, and Tel Morthrivra, but as long as I can secure the votes here, the vote will be comfortable in my favor, meaning that I don't have to worry about traveling a long journey to those settlements. Still, depending on my success with the local councilors, I might have to.

As he already said, he thinks I'm worthy, so it's not him that's the problem, but rather the others, which is why he doesn't believe there's much point in trying to push the vote forward within the council as things stand now. Master Neloth will be hard to persuade, for example, as Aryon suggests his "arch-rival" tends to be extremely stubborn. Meanwhile Therana, my lovely little Mistress Therana, is unpredictable, as has already become clear to me. Aryon doesn't have to know this, but she'll probably mistake me for a slave again. Dratha is someone I haven't met yet, but Aryon said that she will love me and will gladly cast her vote for me, making her the easiest one out of the entire council. Dratha hates men or something, so this bias alone should help me gain her vote. She's another eccentric personality, I hear.

Gaining the votes from the people mentioned above is possible, but the last member of the council is why becoming Hortator is impossible in his opinion, not just for me, but for anyone. The current Archmagister Gothren will absolutely and under no circumstances vote for me, as he would most likely try to delay the vote indefinitely. He does not want such a vote to even take place, and honestly, even if the vote would end up happening, he would probably screw me over by abstaining anyway, so it would all be pointless in the end. What can I do about it? Nothing really, not by myself anyway. Aryon has a plan, and he wants me to help him, so he can help me. Only then would I gain his coveted vote.

First though, he asked, what do I seek with the Telvanni. Is it money, protection, knowledge, or political influence? "Certainly not political influence", I said, but the other perks are nice, especially the advancement of my knowledge. To me, power and knowledge triumph all.

He then admitted to me that HIS main goal is to gain more influence, and most importantly, leadership. "I think it's time for Gothren to retire. You will help me with this goal, and you will be rewarded, both monetarily and with power. You're a respected retainer, and I want to have you all for myself."

The first step of his plan is for me to become a recognized wizard of the Telvanni ranks, which would be a massive deal for me, as it would essentially take me from the position of a retainer straight to the top one percent. Money, power, knowledge, it would all be mine at the snap of his finger. For him to become my patron - my sponsor - I would first have to get another potential ally on board, a man by the name of Baladas Demnevanni, a reclusive scholar who Aryon would very much like to join the council. And yeah, if that name sounds familiar, I've already dealt with him in the past. Interviewed him on Dwemer in Gnisis.

The second step of his plan is to get the other council members on board with me becoming the Hortator, which means meeting and trying to convince Neloth, Therana, and Dratha. I can do these two - or technically four - steps in any order I want.

After that, Aryon would be able to "retire" from the position of "Master", take on the mantle of a "Magister", and in this way announce his intent to challenge the current "Archmagister" and desire to take his place. He wants to gain this position by killing Gothren to take his place and become the new Archmagister. For me, this would be advantageous because it would remove the obstacle of Gothren, and I would be able to become the Hortator.

That's the plan, but there was still one question in my mind: why does he need my help with this?

"Are you not the Nerevarine?" he asked as he gently placed his hand under my chin, staring into my eyes, smiling. Not gonna lie, this gesture made me blush since he's a stunningly handsome man. For a moment, it even looked like he wanted to kiss me there and then, but instead, he just talked. "Is it not your destiny, as prophesized, to unite the four tribes and the three houses? Is it not your destiny to unite the Dunmer in your quest to cast down the false gods of the Tribunal? That's why I need you on my side. If this truly is your destiny, then nothing can stand between you and your fate."

"But what about the other Masters? Would they just accept you as their new leader?"

"I know they will", he said. Currently, no Master has announced their desire to challenge the leadership position, not even Aryon, so there's no opposition to his challenge. Besides, Gothren isn't too well-liked by the other members of the council either. Aryon just happens to be the only one who wants to take his position and the only one who has the balls to challenge him.

I don't like the idea of getting myself involved with the internal politics of the Telvanni, but at this point, this is the only way. Besides, becoming a Hortator is just one of the rewards waiting for me.

Convincing Baladas to join the council will have to wait, as I'm gonna first try my luck by meeting up with Dratha. She lives in Tel Mora, which is only a stone's throw away from here, and we need to visit there anyway. Besides, I've still got two more Ashlander clans to deal with, and I want to get that work over with before we leave the eastern shores.

Sun's Dawn, 4th, 3E 428

Tel Mora is a tower on an island just next to Vos, and it's where Mistress Dratha resides. Only women live on this island. Yeah, seriously, no men at all are allowed to live here. Men are allowed in as guests and only enjoy some services in the town and around the harbor. They're not allowed inside the tower, the specialty shops, or the local inn though. I do not know why this is the case, but some of its residents seem to openly despise men. Still, most don't, as they just want to be here to enjoy the company of other women and live in a community where they feel "safe".

The services here are outstanding though! Elegnan's clothing emporium is world-renowned for her mastery of tailoring, with orders for dresses piling on even all the way from the Imperial City, and the inn called "The Covenant" is just about the fanciest establishment you can walk into anywhere on Tamriel. Other services include an apothecary, an alchemist, and a resident smith specializing in custom-made female armor catering to all body types and sizes. This place is really lovely if you happen to be a girl like me!

Mistress Dratha, despite being considered highly eccentric by her peers, seemed like a normal, charming old lady to me. Yeah, I had no trouble getting to meet the friendly grandmother of House Telvanni. In fact, she seemed thrilled to meet me. I didn't even have to plead my case, as flashing my Moon-and-Star was enough of a message for her to realize what I wanted.

"I've been waiting for this day for a long time", she said, eyeing me up and down with a gentle smile on her wearied face. Not sure what she meant by that, but I guess there are those inside House Telvanni who are just as invested in the Nerevarine prophecy as the most devout Ashlanders are. She then gave me a surprisingly humorous speech, and asked me several questions. "So YOU are the foretold Nerevarine? A cute little Altmer girl? Ha! I bet Berel Sala and his Ordinators are frothing at the mouth! Nerevar returns… as a little girl! How does it feel like to be a girl now? Isn't it just so much better than being a man?"

"I… I don't know… I feel normal." I guess trying to explain to her that I have no memories of my past life beyond just a few dreams I've seen, so I really don't remember what it was like being a man. You know, it's kind of hard to have a reference point and compare being a man with being a woman when you've only experienced one of these sexes firsthand. I guess there was that one dream I had recently, but I'm not sure if it counts…

Regardless, I explained that I needed her to vote for me, and she didn't hesitate to give me her support for a second. Of course she would give her vote to a pretty little girl, even if it was just to see the looks on the faces of the "mallet-headed House Fathers". Of course she would give her vote to Lady Azura's chosen one. Of course she would give her vote to her fellow Telvanni mage. The world needs more female heroes, in her opinion. I was actually shocked at how easy it was! No quests, no missions, no nothing.

She even promised me additional support, gifting me scrolls and potions to help me on my journey. "If you need help with ANYTHING, don't be afraid to visit Tel Mora. My doors are always open to you."

Needless to say, I left her tower happy and in high spirits.

Kanna and I got into the job given to us by Big Helende next, but I'll be honest, I really didn't feel like stealing anything from here, thanks to how lovely everyone here is. Granted, if I were a boy, I would be chewed out and receive a lot of hate… Yeah, better not go there… These people act nice, but they're still flawed in their own right…

To our surprise, the woman we were supposed to steal the retort from, Berwen the general store owner, had a task of her own for us. She announced that her shop was closed until further notice due to a corprus monster having infiltrated her store. She had been able to corner the monster and push some crates to form a barrier around it from crates, shelves, and barrels, but not actually kill it. It should be strong enough to break free though. I mean, isn't a side-effect of blight superhuman strength? If Berwen, a typical Bosmer female could move such boxes, that monster should be able to blast right through them! But what do I know? Maybe this particular monster was just incredibly dumb.

I was shocked that nobody here had managed to take care of it before us, especially with the number of guards here! Dratha was supposedly meant to deal with this beast personally but forgot. Either way, me and Kanna killed it together with our combined magical forces. As our reward, we got to pick anything from her store for free, and Kanna chose the retort. We're actually surprised it was that easy, given how valuable this thing is! Berwen can just order another from the local alchemist here, so no harm done to her.

Now, all that's left for me and Kanna to do is try to find that tomb again and kill the vampire living inside. We got ourselves good directions now, so finding his lair should be a piece of cake. We've gotten ourselves two full days off now as well, so we've got plenty of energy too!

Sun's Dawn, 6th, 3E 428

We finally found the place we were looking for, the Nerano family tomb, a tomb owned by a family of Hlaalu merchants, supposedly. Of course, the one who claims it as his home is Calvario. We have no idea if he's part of any vampire clan, but for what it's worth, we found him alone.

Being a vampire and a capable mage, he sensed our presence before we even entered his tomb, although he probably thought we were just ordinary travelers. He even pretended to be oblivious to our presence, sitting down comfortably in his study at the end of the tomb. We suspected something like this might happen, so we went forward with our plan, with Kanna going in for the kill and me stationed as a backup at the door.

Finally deciding to defend himself, he turned invisible just as Kanna was about to attack, but surprisingly, he did not go for a counter. It was not what we anticipated happening, as we were all but sure that he would try to attack Kanna. Thinking he was coming for me instead, I hastily cast a simple life detection spell, but he was nowhere in the room. Or was he? I KNOW I cast the spell correctly, yet he was nowhere! Could I not sense him because he's not living? Was that it? Did I seriously fuck up that bad!? I thought it would work, but everything we had planned was going seriously tits up!

Little did we know, Calvario was not alone. Being a master necromancer and a summoner, he had summoned a powerful ally to ambush me, which must've been some kind of a ghost or an ancestral spirit. It couldn't hit me, but I felt its magicka take hold of me in an instant. The vampire finally reappeared to catch Kanna, but resourceful as she was, she hit Calvario with the silver dagger she had hidden inside her boot. That was only part of the plan that didn't fail miserably, but instead of going for a counter as she previously had planned, she instead used an invisibility spell of her own. The injured Calvario must've still been able to detect Kanna, but based on the frustrated look on his face, he could not stop her. He just clicked his tongue and decided to focus on me instead.

Left alone with the ancient vampire, I was quickly beginning to realize I wasn't myself anymore. I couldn't control my body or even my thoughts, so everything from that point onward is a bit of a haze. All I know is that it was some seriously powerful Illusion magic, the likes of which I had never even heard of, and it took hold of my entire being. My whole body moved on its own, and I undressed. I let him bite my nape and feed on my blood - which hurt like hell and left me feeling dizzy! - and I let him kiss me. I kissed back - with my tongue too - and I even responded to his flirting with approving language. I can't remember exactly what he told me, but I remember vividly calling him "the dark one" and describing myself as his "cattle".

Before I knew it, I was naked and on top of his dick, involuntarily riding that undead Imperial. My body must've still been under the magic's constant influence because I could not stop bouncing my hip up and down, and with the slave bracelets having drained all my magicka, the only magic I felt in my body was his. I held both of his hands like I was his lover or something, and I spoke to him like that too. I had never felt anything like that before, and it all made me so wet.

He made me come countless times, and with every loving thrust of his cock into me, I just fell deeper under his spell. Even after he came, I just laid on top of his muscular chest, hugging him as my breasts pressed against his skin and my face engulfed with his. I let him feast on my blood once more, and I felt genuine joy. It was so seriously messed up, because even my brain was filled with nothing but love for him.

The magic's effects must've begun to wane from that point onward, because when he threw me into a prison cell with basic food to eat, I had already started regaining my sanity. Before leaving me alone, he said he was glad to have fresh cattle, being incredibly grateful that I had essentially led myself to him. Usually, he has to go out of his way to hunt young children in the big cities or something. He also told me I would be reunited with my friend soon, for he would surely catch her too.

I guess he was half-right because I was indeed reunited with Kanna. Calvario must've not expected her to return so soon, because he seriously did not see her coming this time around, and he sure as hell didn't anticipate Kanna being assisted by an Aureal. They made killing him look so easy that it made me feel useless and like a failure. I joked about this to Kanna too, but she just told me to not beat myself over it. Had our initial assault gone as planned, it would've been easy for us two too, and it's not like Kanna didn't have a big hand in planning our initial attack either. I guess all we needed was the advantage of a perfect surprise to kill him, which is something we were never going to have on our first try.

Despite having recovered my stuff and getting rid of the slave bracelets, I'm in no condition to fight. My body is so tired, my head feels like exploding, and even walking around makes me want to pass out from all the blood loss. Luckily, Calvario's study, which now belongs to us, is very comfy, so we're not in a hurry to leave. Maybe tomorrow, once I've regained my strength.

Sun's Dawn, 7th, 3E 428

Kaushad was impressed and admitted he didn't think I had it in me to complete the quest. Honestly, I probably would still be stuck there had it not been for Kanna, but he doesn't seem to know just how badly things went for me. He doesn't seem to care either. I also think he's genuinely naïve enough to believe I attempted his trial of combat alone. Whatever, it doesn't matter since my quest here still isn't done. As I said, there is still the favor that Kaushad demands of me, and now that I know what I must do, all I can say is "Wow".

"I've been blessed with many fortunes in life, but the one thing that has always eluded me is true love", Kaushad said, pouring me a mug of Sujamma as a sign of sitting me down for a lengthy discussion. "I want to, no… I NEED to get married. I need to find a wife to raise a son with. No, actually, I want many children. I can't lead this tribe forever, you know."

Well, makes sense to continue the royal bloodline, I suppose. Besides, who doesn't want to find love and get married? The only thing confusing me was why to ask this of me. "I'm not sure if I can help you with that", I admitted.

"Well, not YOU", he said and laughed heartedly while I just rolled my eyes. That's not what I meant when I said I can't help him. "But YOU can help me pick one", he continued.

"So, do you have options for me to pick from, or…?"

"If it was that easy, I would already be happily married", he said. "No, you must find her first, according to my criteria."

At this point, I thought he couldn't possibly be too picky regarding his options, especially since he seemed a little desperate already, but no, I was dead wrong. Not only does he have a set of precise criteria, but his criteria are also unrealistic. He wants, and I'm using his exact words, "a stunning Telvanni high-born babe with sexy plump hips capable of birthing many children". She must also be relatively young, preferably in her late teens, and big bouncy tits are a plus, but not a must. "Surely you are capable of this", he said, "since you associate yourselves with the House Telvanni. I would accept you as my wife, but I will only marry a Dunmer."

Thanks, but I don't remember asking if you'd accept me as the mother of your children! Besides, you said you want a wife with wide hips; my ass isn't that big, is it? I mean… No, it's not, is it!? I'm confident in my appearance being sexy, I'm very well aware of men staring at my butt, and I'm certainly more mature than an average kid my age. Besides, I don't even have the "big bouncy tits" he so desperately craves, so why even make such a comment!? Ah, whatever. Who cares if he doesn't want me? I don't want to marry a senile fucking Ashlander either! And I'm infertile anyway!

…Okay, I didn't say any of that out loud, as I didn't want to offend him or anything. It's just that he's a fucking creep… Anyway, I can't afford to get picky or start making demands from him. I promised to do my best and left to consult Sonummu, the local wise woman, to make sense of this insanity.

According to Sonummu, there's no high-born Telvanni that would ever marry an Ashlander. She even apologized to me dearly, clearly embarrassed by her leader, saying he's always been like this. Like, she was so ashamed of the whole situation that she could barely look me in the eye! "He's a creep, and his standards are way too strict, which is why he can't find a wife", Sonummu said. "For crying out loud, he's two hundred and fifty years old, still without a wife, and too stubborn to change his ways." Regardless, he is their leader by the right of blood, and nothing can change that, so this is what we'll have to work with. Lucky for us, Sonummu knows where to find Ashkhan a "wife".

"Just bring him a random chick and lie about her being a Telvanni high-born", she then suggested. "He wouldn't know the difference even if you brought him a slave dressed in Telvanni robes." Sonummu even has a friend who can help us for a price, a friend who just happens to be a slave merchant. Her name is Savile, and she lives in Tel Aruhn. "Conventionally attractive Dunmer slaves are expensive, but you don't look like the kind to be short of cash, so I'm sure you will find a suitable woman, especially considering your Telvanni connections and all."

This is an absolutely fucking insane plan, and I'm not sure if I like it, but whatever. If I can find a pretty Dunmer slave, I can at least liberate her from slavery this way and grant her a life of being a wife to some crazy Ashlander. What's worse, honestly? I would be doing someone a favor, right? Ah, but it's not that simple either… Whatever, I hope I can find someone who consents to this insanity.

Sun's Dawn, 8th, 3E 428

I've visited and sailed past Tel Aruhn several times, but what kind of place is it really? Well, it's a medium-sized town on a small island with all its services neatly packed together in close proximity, all built around Archmagister's tower. As a harbor for slave trade, it's even more prominent than its neighboring Sadrith Mora, a few nautical miles southeast, and finding all kinds of services involving these slaves is easy in the underground district, provided you got the money. Since the place is basically next door to Sadrith Mora, Kanna decided to split up with me for a day trip to visit Big Helende. To cut a long story short, she has now tasked us with stealing some super valuable staff from a Telvanni sorcerer working for Mistress Therana, which honestly sounds like a terrible idea. I wonder if we should even go along with this? Knowing Therana, I at least know what the punishment for getting caught will be…

Anyhow, I arranged a meeting with Savile, the woman Sonummu mentioned, and she just happens to be the lady in charge of the slave trade here, basically the one who decides who stays and who leaves, and for what price. Savile is a hard negotiator, which is something I'm not very good at admittedly. She was also stunned to be approached by a child interested in slaves and didn't even take me seriously at first, but after I explained I was a Telvanni retainer, she decided to drop everything she was doing and showed me her best merchandise. One particular young woman immediately caught my eye.

The slave's name is Falura Llervu, and as far as looks go, she's everything Kaushad desires in a woman. She's a nineteen-year-old Dunmer, average in height, and has a cute face coupled with a fantastic physique and killer curves. When I approached her for a friendly chat, she was naked inside her little pod and didn't bother to cover herself up. In fact, she was very polite to me and had a pleasant smile on her face. It was hard to believe she was a slave at all! She was perfect!

I sadly didn't get to talk to her a lot in private before her owner approached me. "You sure have an eye for quality", Savile said. "She's a popular girl at my brothel. Profitable too. If I may ask, what exactly do you need a sex slave for?"

"It's complicated", I explained, going on to explain both my quest from Kaushad, and Sonummu's suggestions in detail. Savile seemed very intrigued, and based on how keenly Falura was listening in on our discussion, she also seemed interested.

"I think she's more than capable of being trained to be a lady", Savile said, leering at her property. "She's already almost there, considering how polite and obedient she is, but I will warn you: a transaction like this will not come cheap."

I kind of knew that already, and probably realizing I was keen on obtaining high-quality goods at any price, Savile proceeded to take full advantage of the situation. After all, Falura isn't just what I want and need, but also a genuine, top-of-the-shelf product I wouldn't find anywhere else. Savile was willing to consider a price of thirty thousand drakes, a price I'm not even close to being able to match! That's so ridiculously expensive! Like, you can buy a nice fucking house with that amount of money! The price does, sadly for me however, have a good reason behind it. "If I'm going to part with a cash cow like her", she said, "I'm gonna require a lot of money to compensate for my brothel losing one of its most profitable slaves." That's also just the price for a slave, as Faluna will also require some basic training from her mistress and some new clothes.

Now, I wasn't willing to insult her with the idea of a discount and instead figured my best way to get a better deal would be through negotiations and service. I suggested I could perhaps do a favor for her, but unfortunately for me, the only things she's interested in are cold hard cash and merchandise. She doesn't have any work suitable for adventurers meaning I'm all out of luck in that regard. I COULD work for Archmagister Gothren, but I doubt I'd be seeing enough money in months, and Aryon would probably have my ass if he heard I was working for him. Fortunately for me though, Savile had another, much more lucrative idea on her mind.

To discuss this idea further, she brought me to her office and presented me with ownership papers to Faluna. "I said I can't offer you traditional adventurer's work, but I CAN offer you work inside my slave brothel", she said, leering my body up and down. "You Altmer are a rarity in these lands, and with a young, child-like body like that, you could make a killing."

"So, you're suggesting that I could prostitute myself to pay for this?"

"Indeed", Savile said and took out a blank sheet of paper, along with some ink and a quill. "I'm even willing to sweeten the deal a little and let you sign the purchase papers immediately so I can begin training Faluna while you work. Of course, I'll handle everything, from finances to paring you with customers." She was basically just rambling and talking to herself at this point, but I listened in keenly anyway. I kind of wanted to just say no right away, but I thought I'd at least hear her out first. "A girl like yourself could fetch a hundred Septims an hour per customer, so based on that…"

"That's three hundred customers I'd have to serve up to an hour", I thought out loud as more and more doubts flooded my head. I mean, not just three hundred customers, but three hundred possible strangers I'd have to have sex with, no questions asked. That's so, so much! Even if I served like ten customers a day, that would still take a month of whoring myself out! Of course, Savile had a curveball ready to throw at me, to make the task seem even more daunting.

"Well, the training, the perfume, and the clothes will bump the price up at least by a couple thousand Septims, and there are other expenses as well, like the service fee for the brothel and such… It's probably closer to five hundred customers, I'd say."

"I'm afraid to ask, but what about my work hours then…?"

"Well, since I'd be pulling a slave away from my brothel right away with your signature to PROMISE to pay, I'd expect you to work your ass off until the payment's been completed. I would - for all intents and purposes - work you like a slave."

"How about any late fees or interest then?" I asked.

"Well, aren't you a smart little girl", she said and chuckled through her mischievous smile. "I DO charge a standard interest rate on loans, but you needn't worry. As long as you produce steady profit for me and don't try to fuck me over, I won't turn you into a debt slave."

"O-okay, I need to think about this…" I nervously said, standing up in a hurry. After her saying that, there was just no way I was going to sign anything, and I was seriously ready to leave as soon as possible.

"Before you go", she said, "take this contract and read it thoroughly. You can see all the fine print for yourself, so you'll know exactly what you'll be signing. There's no funny business in there. I promise."

With that, I reunited with Kanna, who was waiting for me outside. I told her about how much money I will need, and she simply gasped. I also told her about Savile's plan of me becoming a prostitute to pay for the expenses, and to that, she practically screamed "No!" saying I can't seriously be considering it. "She's looking to fuck you over", Kanna said, "and turn you into a slave for real! Just like the Warden did!"

I initially agreed with her concerns, saying I was worried about that as well, but having read the contract carefully half a dozen times, there really isn't any funny business in here. Like, it's such easy money… As an adventurer, to make a thousand drakes is a difficult task where I have to constantly put my life on the line, but as a high-class prostitute, a thousand drakes is basically just a busy day having sex with many men, provided you've got the looks, which I apparently do. I mean, Savile is right! There aren't many Altmer living in these lands, and forget about youngsters like myself! Sex work sounds a little demeaning, but maybe I should consider this opportunity?

Having read the document herself, Kanna now seems a little more sympathetic towards my willingness to go along with this insanity and admits that her fears about Savile being a dishonest actor are definitely misplaced. Even still, she wants me to reconsider. Maybe there are better options out there, and maybe we can find a lucky break and get rich quick on an adventure! It's not like the Zainab Tribe is the only thing on our bucket list, as a day's walk to the north of here, we can also find the Ahemmusa Tribe. We could make them our first priority, especially since Kanna also has business around that area. She recently came in contact with Sheogorath, who ordered her to find an Argonian named Big Head who lives somewhere around the general area.

Sounds like a perfect distraction for me, and an ideal opportunity to rethink what I want to do regarding this deal I'm offered. I don't take to the idea of subjecting myself to getting fucked by half a thousand strangers lightly, especially when considering I've been forced to do that in the past…

Our ship to Tel Vos will depart early tomorrow morning, and from there, it'll only take an hour's walk to reach the Ahemmusa Camp. That means it's bedtime, so we'll be energetic for a long day tomorrow!

Sun's Dawn, 9th, 3E 428

Once we reached the northern shores of Vvardenfell north of Tel Vos, we found the camp of the Ahemmusa Tribe on top of a tall cliff overlooking the Sheogorad Isles. The local Wise Woman urged us to turn back, stating how we would find no services nor riches left to loot, but after I showed her my Moon-and-Star, she surprisingly kneeled before me, saying she'd been eagerly waiting. Since she knew why I was there, she got straight into business and said that all I had to do to gain her blessing was save her tribe.

Taking Kanna, Staada, and me for a brief tour, Sinnammu Mirpal showed us what's come of the once prosperous tribe. It was an impoverished and sickened community of hunter-gatherers with no game left to hunt and no cattle to breed. The surrounding Grazelands have been devastated by not only the blight but also crime, so even those left untouched by the disease have met ill fates in the hands of outlaws and slavers. This includes even the Ashkhan, which is why Sinnammu's been forced to take the reins of leadership. Sinnammu's got a plan for salvation, for they are looking for a new home in a familiar place, and she hates to admit it, but they need help. Badly.

I thought about suggesting seeking Telvanni's protection since Master Aryon's tower is just an hour's walk to the south, but something tells me that Sinnammu doesn't want to associate with the Telvanni. Besides, she already had something else in mind.

"To the north of here", Sinnammu explained, "on the easternmost island of the Sheogorad Isles flanked by the tip of the Telvannis Region, lie the ancient ruins of Ald Daedroth, a Daedric shrine and a sacred ground to our tribe. We would return immediately, but the worshippers of Sheogorath, led by their priestess Hlireni Indavel have claimed it as their own, and we are not welcome there. You must reclaim and restore the shrine so that Azura may bless and protect us from harm. And please, you must hurry."

To complete the journey, we'll be traveling with a teenage boy named Assamma-Idan, who knows how to handle a small boat. Before we depart for the northern seas though, we have some doubts about how to complete the mission given to us. It truly is a conundrum, for we can't just go in there and kill those worshippers. At least, I don't think we can? Staada, being Sheogorath's loyal servant, for example, is absolutely furious about the whole situation, and while Kanna as her temporary mistress has been able to calm her down, she has worries as well. She's trying to get on Sheogorath's good side and doesn't want to displease the Mad God, so she wishes for a more peaceful solution. Maybe we can convince them to leave? If not, maybe we can offer Sinnammu other solutions. Telling a religious woman to let go of her desire to reclaim her tribe's holy ground sounds impossible though…

I guess we have to get to that island first before we can make any decisions.

• 17th Journal - An Epic Quest to Slay a Dragon and Save a Princess (By Kanna / Aliya)