Talk:Dirty Talk/Three Brats/June 21st, 2021/Emilia approaches Henry: Difference between revisions
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Yeah, all good by me! Changes were minor really. Only funny thing is that I sometimes try to write dialog the way it might "sound", lazy language, people missing words or mashing through things, and on the page I think it stood out enough that you tidied it up! Or Henry just has exceptional diction! lol No worries though! --[[User:Villenia|Villenia]] ([[User talk:Villenia|talk]]) 20:31, 20 October 2022 (CEST) | Yeah, all good by me! Changes were minor really. Only funny thing is that I sometimes try to write dialog the way it might "sound", lazy language, people missing words or mashing through things, and on the page I think it stood out enough that you tidied it up! Or Henry just has exceptional diction! lol No worries though! --[[User:Villenia|Villenia]] ([[User talk:Villenia|talk]]) 20:31, 20 October 2022 (CEST) | ||
That might be because I never actually get to converse in spoken English in my day-to-day life. I only get to listen to it, read it, and write it, so that might be why some of my "fixes" come across as "bookish", if that even is a real word lol. I try to ignore fixing stuff like that most of the time, but I guess this morning I didn't get the memo. π
-- [[User:Innocent Ruin|Innocent Ruin]] ([[User talk:Innocent Ruin|talk]]) 22:14, 20 October 2022 (CEST) | |||
this has nothing to do with the page but heck i wanna throw a bit of info since we talking about english im self-taught (i did have a bit of english education in school but most of it was he is, she is, they are and etc for 6 years... it was stupid) i wanted to learn english sicne all the video games back then even when you are in another country all games were in english only Heck back then there were not spanish dubs at all and most of the people you met online only spoke english too, but you know what truly push me into starting to learn english i remember very clearly the first time i wanted to learn english for real or that i tried my hardest to learn it was because of a comic of guilmon and the girl who love puppets having sex i wanted to understand what they were saying so badly and i was tired of not understanding english, so i started translating the words using babel fish and it work i could understand it but that was not actually learning english yet, so eventually i started translating more porn comics andΒ well learning it in the process of doing so the next step for me was listening to my online friends speak english but that didnt help much at that moment since all spoke way too quickly man i used to have such a hard time with fast speech i still do a bit, what really help me quite a lot was actually changing all my cartoon channels to english audio with spanish subtitles in a year i was speaking english with those friends to the point they could understand me and i could understand them it was great. so yeah a loli/bestiality (guilmon counts) comic started the journey to learning english ironic how porn can motivate you sometimes lol.--[[User:Xephion|Xephion]] ([[User talk:Xephion|talk]]) 04:44, 21 October 2022 (CEST) | |||
I know what you mean. They start teaching English here in Finland in the 3rd grade, but you can't really learn the language without using it outside school. For me, the best teacher was video games and Anime, since that stuff NEVER gets translated. (apart from the real mainstream stuff like pokemon.) I guess learning a language because of porn makes sense too. After all, many people learn Japanese to be able to read eroges too. -- [[User:Innocent Ruin|Innocent Ruin]] ([[User talk:Innocent Ruin|talk]]) 12:08, 21 October 2022 (CEST) |
Latest revision as of 10:08, 21 October 2022
I like the history lesson part a lot. Henna being just as involved with Heidi's development as Henry is makes sense. Not anything I would change in that department, except maybe retcon one or two sentences to be in line with what Heidi and Henry were in my opinion doing the day Emilia lost her virginity! π
That said, I almost feel like Henry didn't actually try to "teach" Emilia much here regarding the game itself. Like, he even recognizes that Emilia wore black but didn't so much as ask her about it or question her decision in that regard. Or maybe I missed that on the first read? I also think that the bit with Henry getting carried away towards the end is a missed opportunity as he focuses so much on himself, when he could use that as a teaching opportunity for Emilia more than he does here.
Maybe this is just my bias talking since my ideal Emilia is much less docile (only gets submissive when "push comes to shove") and much more of a "put my foot down to get what I want" kinda girl, but I think she deserves at least one good talking-to that isn't a "Sven-esque" lecture, and more of an encouragement in that direction. Henry in my opinion is perfect for that. I don't want to do heavy editorial, but I'll probably stab at this after I get home from work today and expand on few parts a little. -- Innocent Ruin (talk) 07:49, 20 October 2022 (CEST)
First, thanks! Second, feel free to change anything, as always! For my perspective, I think you're right that Henry wasn't focused on teaching Emilia here. He went into the conversation thinking that Emilia wanted to know more about him and Heidi, so it wasn't until the end where they had their miscommunication that there was a natural teachable moment. I focused on the context of that very directly, that not wearing a star and acting slutty might not be a good idea, but mostly I didn't want him to get too preachy. I didn't think an increasingly rebellious tween would take well to that. The idea of Emilia reaching out to the guys she's had sex with was as much her coming to terms with the fact that everything is just as much the same as it is different after the cabin, and that it's fine for different people to have different perspectives and opinions on all of this (Henry being more neutral to Danny's "encouragement" and Sven's disapproval) and she has to find what she's okay with.
As for her behavior, I assumed the cabin experience would have changed her, being bound and forcibly fucked every which way, tossed and probed with mind games on top of it all. It wouldn't have to necessarily, but on the assumption it did, I concluded she would either accept that way of experiencing pleasure and look forward to being used (what I've leaned into), or want to become more of a dom to take control of her own pleasure and prevent herself from being put in that sort of situation again. There were a rainbow of possibilities, but acceptance or trauma were the obvious ones.
But with all that said, go wild! Expand on it or rework it however you like. Always curious to see someone else's take. Also lots of room to add more Q&A between them just about anywhere. --Villenia (talk) 08:56, 20 October 2022 (CEST)
Yeah, a "change" in her is a theme everywhere, or if not an outright change, then at least an "evolution". Her sexuality is, after all, an empty canvas ready to be painted on, molded by whichever brush you paint her with. She could become a Bob Ross painting with happy little clouds and trees, or she could become as twisted and weird as something made by Picasso. And, if that brush happens to be pitch black, then it makes sense for her to become like this. My biases aside, I certainly do love reading about this side of Emilia. Anyway, like I said, no heavy editorial is incoming. I hope you'll like the changes. -- Innocent Ruin (talk) 09:24, 20 October 2022 (CEST)
sorry i ahvnt been active lately this pains have me annoyed but anyway love the two new path danny being danny was great man loves too push and this one was awesome too a person who cares a lot but respects the rules and i do like submissive Emilia i mean compare to the other 2 friends she seems like the more submissive girl. Love your work thank you for it. --Xephion (talk) 11:01, 20 October 2022 (CEST)
Right, so I did this before work because I couldn't get back to sleep! Probably not perfect since I switched the dialogue a lot at the end, but I thought it was important to focus a bit more on the color aspect of the markings in this "expansion", as I feel like it was ignored completely in Henry's speeches. Hope it works for you. If not, well... I guess that's two-and-a-half hours I'm never getting back! π€£
And Xephion, we all have our commitments and shit in the real world outside the smut, so while your feedback, suggestions, and any and all other comments are appreciated, don't feel like you have to apologize for the lack of them. I hope you're in a good place and getting healthier! -- Innocent Ruin (talk) 11:52, 20 October 2022 (CEST)
Yeah, all good by me! Changes were minor really. Only funny thing is that I sometimes try to write dialog the way it might "sound", lazy language, people missing words or mashing through things, and on the page I think it stood out enough that you tidied it up! Or Henry just has exceptional diction! lol No worries though! --Villenia (talk) 20:31, 20 October 2022 (CEST)
That might be because I never actually get to converse in spoken English in my day-to-day life. I only get to listen to it, read it, and write it, so that might be why some of my "fixes" come across as "bookish", if that even is a real word lol. I try to ignore fixing stuff like that most of the time, but I guess this morning I didn't get the memo. π -- Innocent Ruin (talk) 22:14, 20 October 2022 (CEST)
this has nothing to do with the page but heck i wanna throw a bit of info since we talking about english im self-taught (i did have a bit of english education in school but most of it was he is, she is, they are and etc for 6 years... it was stupid) i wanted to learn english sicne all the video games back then even when you are in another country all games were in english only Heck back then there were not spanish dubs at all and most of the people you met online only spoke english too, but you know what truly push me into starting to learn english i remember very clearly the first time i wanted to learn english for real or that i tried my hardest to learn it was because of a comic of guilmon and the girl who love puppets having sex i wanted to understand what they were saying so badly and i was tired of not understanding english, so i started translating the words using babel fish and it work i could understand it but that was not actually learning english yet, so eventually i started translating more porn comics and well learning it in the process of doing so the next step for me was listening to my online friends speak english but that didnt help much at that moment since all spoke way too quickly man i used to have such a hard time with fast speech i still do a bit, what really help me quite a lot was actually changing all my cartoon channels to english audio with spanish subtitles in a year i was speaking english with those friends to the point they could understand me and i could understand them it was great. so yeah a loli/bestiality (guilmon counts) comic started the journey to learning english ironic how porn can motivate you sometimes lol.--Xephion (talk) 04:44, 21 October 2022 (CEST)
I know what you mean. They start teaching English here in Finland in the 3rd grade, but you can't really learn the language without using it outside school. For me, the best teacher was video games and Anime, since that stuff NEVER gets translated. (apart from the real mainstream stuff like pokemon.) I guess learning a language because of porn makes sense too. After all, many people learn Japanese to be able to read eroges too. -- Innocent Ruin (talk) 12:08, 21 October 2022 (CEST)