Living the wrong way

This is an entry in the ATF Story Writing Contest 2024/II. The story is posted by the organizer. The actual author of the story will remain anonymous until at least the end of the contest.

Jimmy’s diary

September 14, 2006

Happy fucking birthday to me.
There. At least someone congratulated me. Nobody else in this fucking orphanage seems to care. Or even remember.
And why should they? It’s not even certain that today is my birthday. Nobody knows my real birthday. They only know that I was found September 15. Then delivered to a hospital, by someone who wanted to remain anonymous. The doctors decided that I was most likely just one day old. So yeah. If he was right, then I’m twelve now. Twelve, and never been loved. I don’t matter. I just live. Try not to get in the way, try to avoid being punished.
Almost time to get up and have breakfast. I’ll raise my glass of sour milk to myself, and make sure nobody notices.

Adopted

“Jimmy!” the director bellowed.
“I’ve completed my chores, ma’am!” a scrawny boy, aged about 12, hastily replied, as he quickly put his sketch block and pencil away. He would have been a beauty, if he had not been slightly underfed and way too dirty. Unkempt blonde hairs, bright blue eyes that betrayed a sharp mind, set in a freckled face, with the cutest dimples in his cheeks.
“Office. Now.”
The director turned and walked back into her office. She didn’t check to see whether the boy followed her orders. She knew he would.

Jimmy rushed towards the office, and hastily closed the door behind him.
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Congratulations, Jimmy.”
He froze. She had remembered? Someone finally had remembered?
But then she continued:
“It seems today is your lucky day. A woman walked in, with all the papers for your adoption. So get your things together and be back here in ten minutes, tops.”
She had not even looked up from her paperwork as she gave Jimmy the news.

He only needed five minutes to pack his scarce possessions. Sketch block, pencils, diary, and the tattered plush bear that he had had for as long as he could recall.
When some of the other kids looked inquiringly, he just shouted “adopted!” and ran past them. There were no friendships in this orphanage. Only deals, and fights for position in the hierarchy. Jimmy had made sure to be high enough on the unofficial ladder to be left alone, but not so high that he’d draw unwanted attention from staff. He didn’t feel a need for goodbyes. Just like the few other children that had been “rescued”, as the children called it when no staff could hear them, in the twelve years Jimmy had spent here.

And then he still almost came too late, as he suddenly froze in place, torn by mixed emotions. Yes, he was going to get out of the orphanage. But where to? Who was this woman who wanted to adopt him? Would she be good to him? Or would he just fall from one misery into the next? Could he even refuse, if he thought that life with her would be even worse?
And … why him? Nobody had shown any interest in him in the past few months. Of course, as always, there had been adults visiting the orphanage every now and then. Looking at the children, picking out the one that suited them best. But none of them had talked to him, or even given him a second look. Most people wanted to adopt a baby. Not a good-for-nothing twelve-year-old boy, who had been stuck in this place his entire life.

Jimmy knocked, waited until he heard the director say “Enter!”, and then pushed open the office door. Behind it, he would see …
She was beautiful. Long and slender. Dark hairs, flowing over her shoulders. Brown eyes, that displayed a friendly sparkle in her warm, smiling face. She looked very young, though. Jimmy was not good at guessing ages, but he was convinced that this woman was still below 30. Why would she want to adopt a child his age?

Jimmy wanted to ask: “Why?”
Why would a woman so young want to adopt a child his age? Why even adopt at all? And why not a baby? That would be a much more fitting age gap, wouldn’t it? So, why?
But he caught himself in time.
“Good afternoon, ma’am director. Good afternoon, Milady.”
He spoke the words that he had been drilled to use in these situations, then stood silent, hands behind his back, shoulders straight, head slightly down. As he had been taught.
“Good afternoon, Jimmy,” the woman spoke. Her voice sounded as friendly as she looked, “it’s good to meet you.”

A short silence followed, and Jimmy wondered whether he was supposed to say anything. But then the director cleared her throat.
“Right. Here is Jimmy. The boy you asked for, though God knows why. Please sign here, miss Salas, and then get him out of my sight.”
“These are all his possessions?” the woman asked.
“Yes. Except the clothes he wears, they are ours. But we can’t send him with you naked. So they are included in the price. Since your payment has gone through, he can keep them.”
The woman, miss Salas, apparently, smiled at the boy.
“Well, Jimmy, I am sure you won’t mind when I take you shopping for something better to wear!”
And then, to the director:
“Are you sure you don’t want these rags back to give to other kids? No worries, I won’t ask for a discount.”
The director flinched, but didn’t respond in any other way to the dripping sarcasm.

Two hours later, Jimmy closed the door of the orphanage behind him, for what he hoped would be the last time.
“Thank you so much for adopting me, Milady!” he said timidly to miss Salas.
She laughed.
“Please, you are no longer in that terrible place. Drop the forced politeness. Be a normal boy, if you still know how to do that. And definitely never call me “milady” again.”
“So what do I call you then, milady … miss, I mean? Should I call you mom?”
“You can call me mom if you want to, because that is what I will be for you for the next few years, But I am only 12 years older than you, Jimmy, and I hope that I can be as much a big sister as a mother to you. Please call me by my first name. Hannah.”
“Okay. Thanks for taking me in, Hannah. Where are we going now? Are we going to your home? My new home? I am so excited to see where I will live!”
“You’ll have to wait a bit longer, Jimmy. As I already said in there, I’ll take you shopping first, and get you some proper clothes to wear.”

Home

Hours later, and packed with bag upon bag with new clothes, they finally arrived at Hannah’s house. They were both exhausted. Hannah dropped in an easy chair, but Jimmy instantly felt a rush of new energy when he saw how big the house was.

“Is this all your house?”
“Yes. Or, no, it’s actually ours now.”
“Holy crap … oh, sorry! You must be very rich. All those clothes. And such a big house. Where did you get all that money?”
“I … uh, let’s say that I inherited it. I’ll explain when you are older. Oh, and don’t worry about saying ‘crap’. I have used, and will use, far worse words. Here with just us two, you don’t need to filter your language.”
“So what are all these rooms? There are so many doors. And there is even an upstairs too!”
“I am tired. I’ll show you around tomorrow, okay?”
“But can I look around already?”
“Sure! This house is yours as much as mine. You can look everywhere. But first, what pizza do you want? I’m way too tired to cook. Ham and onions, perhaps?”
“Yes! That’s my favorite! How do you know?”
“I … euh … I just guessed. Doesn’t everyone like ham and onions?”
Jimmy didn’t hear her anymore, he had already rushed out towards the hallway to open all doors and look in all rooms. With a sigh, Hannah took out her phone to order pizza.

Jimmy returned a few minutes later, jumping around for excitement over all the wonderful things he had seen in the many rooms of his new house.
“The bathroom is just huge, Hannah!”
“I know, Jimmy,” she smiled, “I’ve lived here my entire life.”
“And it has a large tub and also a separate shower!”
She just nodded.
“And there is a separate play room upstairs, and you have so many toys and games!”
“I know, that is …”
“And even a laptop, and a Nintendo Switch.”
“Calm down, Jimmy. I understand that you are excited. But I am really tired. Can you please just sit down and be quiet until the pizza comes? Or go to the play room to play a game?”

Jimmy’s diary

Still September 14, 2006

Holy fuck. What a day.
Adopted. Out of the blue. By a woman I have never met before. But she seems to know me. She said she specifically wanted to adopt me. Not any other child from the orphanage. Can you imagine? Me!
She must be rich, you know. Oh, wait. You don’t even know who she is. Hannah. My new mom, I guess. But she wants me to say Hannah. And she is way too young to actually be my mom! Can you imagine, a 24-year-old mother with a 12-year-old son? LOL
So, she’s focking rich. I got to buy all the clothes I wanted. And this house! Oh boy, it’s huge, you can’t even imagine. I could ride a bike in the hallway, seriously. Well, if I had a bike of course.
And now … oh wait, she’s calling.

Bed time

“Jimmy!”
“Wait, one sec. Okay, done. Yes, Hannah?”
“What are you writing? Is that a diary?”
He quickly closed the diary and held his hand protectively over it.
“You cannot read this!”
“No worries, Jimmy. I will never read your diary, I promise.”
“Really? The kids in the orphanage …”
“That’s your past now, Jimmy. You’ll be with me from now on. Not with them. I am not like them.”

She smiled and hugged her newly adopted son.
“I think a diary is important for you. It helps you process things. So keep writing. Just not now. It’s been a busy day. Time for bed.”
As soon as he heard the word bed, Jimmy realized how tired he was. He yawned and stretched.
“Yes, you are right. I’ll go and … oh, wait! We forgot to buy pajamas! All those clothes we bought, and I have no pajamas!”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Jimmy. I never thought that you might want them. I never wear pajamas myself.”
“Of course. You’re a woman. You wear a nightie.”
Hannah smiled.
“No. Sorry if this shocks you, but I have slept naked my entire life. The few times I had to wear something at night felt really uncomfortable. So perhaps you can sleep naked too? If you don’t like it, we can buy pajamas tomorrow.”
She chuckled as she said this.

“Okay, Hannah,” Jimmy said, as his cheeks turned crimson.
And then he realized something else.
“But where do I sleep? I’ve looked behind all doors. I’ve found your master bedroom. But none of the other rooms has a bed. Do I need to sleep on the couch?”
“If you really want to, you can. But my bed is large enough. I figured you can just sleep with me. So I will hear when you have a nightmare, and I can console you. Plus, now that I have a son I want to keep you as close as possible. Is that okay?”
“I … I guess?”
But then Jimmy startled.
“But surely not naked!”
“Why not? Is there anything wrong with nudity?”
“But … but …”
“Can you explain why it is bad if I see you naked? Or if you see me naked?”
“I just know it’s wrong!”
“Because people told you, right? But now someone else tells you it’s okay. Who are you going to believe?”
“I … I don’t know?”
“Well, I won’t force you. Sleep naked, or keep your undies on, or pick a shirt or whatever, I don’t care. I’m going upstairs, to my comfy bed, and I’ll sleep naked. The left side is mine. You are welcome to the right side. Or you can sleep on this rather uncomfortable couch, if you prefer.”
And with that, Hannah got up and made for the stairs, leaving a very confused Jimmy alone.

It took almost five minutes, but then Jimmy hesitantly entered the bedroom.
“Hannah, are you still awake?”
“I am, Jimmy. I’m glad you decided for the bed.”
“The couch is really uncomfortable.”
“I know.”
“And you don’t mind if I sleep here?”
Hannah just patted the right side of the bed invitingly.

As Jimmy got closer, she noticed he was still dressed.
“You’re not wearing that. You wore that today. If you insist on wearing trousers and a shirt, get some clean ones.”
“Is it okay if I just take them off but keep my undies on?”
“Sure. Or you can take it all off. I can really recommend it. It feels great to sleep in the nude.”

Jimmy’s face had briefly been covered by his shirt, but as he pulled it free, she saw how his cheeks had turned crimson again. His chest was very white and a bit scrawny, but he also showed strong muscles, the result of hard labor in the orphanage. His fingers fidgeted a bit with the buttons of his trousers, but he eventually managed to get them loose, and then he pulled his trousers down, exposing his equally white and still smoothly hairless legs. His underpants hugged close around his hips, and Hannah knew that if he would turn around, she would be treated to a good view of the shape of his ass cheeks.

But he didn’t turn around. He hesitantly approached the bed. In a welcoming gesture, Hannah grabbed the corner of the sheets and threw them open, with such force that her own body suddenly was exposed as well.
Jimmy froze in place, and his eyes got wide. The only naked women he had seen so far were from magazines that other boys had smuggled into the orphanage, at great personal risk. And now a real live woman was there before him, totally naked. His eyes instantly found her breasts. Even with her in a lying position, they still stood slightly upright. They were not as big as the ones he had seen in the magazines. But they were far more exciting to him!
Jimmy knew it was wrong, and yet he could not stop himself from also turning his gaze downward, to where her legs met. He saw a very small, neatly trimmed triangle of black hairs. The rest of her mound was smooth and hairless. And below that, between her slightly spread legs, he saw her outer labia, slightly protruding from her sex.

Hannah giggled, and that broke the spell. Jimmy yanked his gaze back up to her head. And then he noticed that her gaze was at his crotch, and before even looking down he already knew that he must have a very visible bulge in his undies.
His hands shot down, and his face got even redder than it already had been.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Hannah!”
“Don’t be. I know what erections mean. I’m sure you do too. This means that you think I am very beautiful, which makes me very happy. And it means that you are a perfectly healthy twelve-year-old boy, and as your new mother, that makes me even happier. Come, don’t just stand there. Get in the bed. Unless you want to get rid of those undies, now that they are suddenly much tighter than before?”
Jimmy vigorously shook his head as he stepped in the bed and drew the sheets high over himself and his newfound mother. Hannah briefly made a movement as if she wanted to draw closed and wrap an arm around him. But then she saw his startled look, and she returned to her own side of the bed.

Morning wood or morning wouldn’t

The day had been long and the emotions had been intense. They both fell asleep very fast. And neither of them woke up, until the sun, falling in through the curtainless windows, kissed their faces.
Hannah was the first to find back to the world. Apparently, both she and Jimmy had shifted positions during the night. They had both moved towards the middle of the bed. Jimmy’s back lay loosely against Hannah’s stomach and breasts, and one of her arms was draped around his young body. She felt the warmth of his naked skin, heard the hypnotizing rhythm of his slow breathing, and felt the softness of the little hairs.

Enjoying the innocence of his sleep, Hannah’s hand absentmindedly moved around on her son’s body. Tracing his form with her fingers, in slower and larger circles, wandering up and down. She lingered a bit at his nipple, especially when his breathing sped up a bit. But then her hand wandered down again, across his abs, to his hips, and then over the soft fabric of his black undies.
She felt the shape of his boy cock. It was clearly erect again. Just a regular morning wood? Or the result of her stroking fingers, or of her hardening nipples against his back?

Hannah noticed how Jimmy’s breathing got more irregular, and she saw his eyes flutter. She quickly moved her hand back to his chest, knowing that she had to be careful not to scare him. She knew that she’d be able to help him over his shyness, but only if she did it right.

“Good morning, mom.”
“Please, call me Hannah.”
“You said yesterday that I can call you mom if I want? You’re Hannah to me, but waking up with you like this made it feel right to call you mom. Just this time.”
“I said that? Oh, sorry, I forgot. Yes, you can call me what you like.”
“Okay, mom Hannah.”
“But it’s early. I suggest we close our eyes and try to sleep a bit more, okay?”
“Okay.”
He did not protest their closeness, nor her arm around his body. So Hannah kept it there.

But Jimmy fidgeted, moved his hips around all the time, and never found relaxation.
“What is it, Jimmy?”
“I can’t sleep, Hannah. I can’t relax.”
“Are you bothered by the erection in your tight undies?”
“Hannah!”
“Come on, Jimmy. Don’t be a pussy. I’m your mother. I need to be able to talk to you about everything. That includes all your body parts. And I’m not going to use medical terms, so you better get used to hearing words such as dick and cunt from me. Now, be honest. You can’t sleep because of your stiffy, right?”
Meekly, Jimmy responded: “Yes, Hannah. I should have bought those loose boxers, like you told me.”
“I did? Hmmm, I need to remember that!”
“Huh?”
“You can still take them off, you know? I did tell you that you can sleep nude, right?”
“Yes, you did.”
She noticed hesitation in his face.
“No need to worry, Jimmy. I’ve seen it before, you know.”
“What? When? How? This night?”
“Relax, Jimmy. I did nothing bad this night. I never do bad things But I am twenty-four. Do you really think I have never seen a stiff dick in my life?”
“Oh! I thought you meant …”
Hannah laughed.
“No, silly. When would that have been?”

Jimmy lay silent for a while, but then reached a conclusion.
“Okay. But promise not to laugh?”
“No worries, Jimmy. I won’t laugh. I am certain that there will be no reason to.”
His head once again beet red, Jimmy lifted his hips, hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his undies, and then pushed them down, allowing his hard boyhood to spring free. His dick was thin but very straight, like a pencil, emerging from a perfectly smooth mons pubis.
Hannah briefly licked her lips. But then she smiled reassuringly at Jimmy.
“See? No reason to worry. You have a totally normal dick. And, if I may say so, a very beautiful one too.”
“Hannah! Don’t …”
“Why not? Afraid of a compliment? I know that you think I am beautiful. Why can’t I say the same of you?”
“I … I don’t know. It’s weird. I’m just a boy. And your son.”
“And I am your mother. Now, do you want me to spoon you again and try to sleep?”
“Spooning was nice.”

Jimmy turned his back back towards Hannah, and she once more gently draped her arm over his body. She could not resist gently stroking him, but she took care not to go below his stomach.
Jimmy sighed happily. His two hands grabbed Hannah’s hand and pushed it firm against his chest, as his breathing slowed down and he fell back asleep.

Jimmy woke up refreshed about an hour later. His hands had let go off Hannah’s hand in his sleep, and she had returned to moving it in small circles, gently stroking his entire upper body.
“Awake again? Did you sleep well?”
“Yes. Very well. I feel really safe here with you. Safe and loved.”
“You are loved. And I will always try to keep you as safe as I can.”
“Thanks. Did you sleep too?”
“No. But I enjoyed lying here with you. It’s very relaxing to have my son in my arms.”

The circles of Hannah’s hand got wider, She noticed how Jimmy’s hard cock twitched whenever her hand passed close by. A clear sign of a desire that Jimmy did not understand yet, but that she was very familiar with. So on the next circle, she made sure to let her pinky finger brush lightly against it, casual enough that she might call it an accident if Jimmy protested. But he didn’t. A sharp intake of air was his initial response, and then a content sigh.

“Did you like that?”
“I’m … I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s okay.”
“I have learned that it’s wrong.”
“It’s wrong if I do anything you don’t want. Or if you do anything I don’t want. I think you want this as much as me. But if I’m wrong … just say no and I’ll stop.”

Hannah let her hand return to Jimmy’s crotch. This time it was very clearly not an accident, when she stroked two fingers lovingly up and down his hard shaft. And Jimmy didn’t say no. He sighed again, a very happy sigh, as Hannah closed her fingers around his thin cocklet and slowly moved them up and down, applying just enough pressure to move his foreskin along and expose his dickhead. Upon hearing his happy moaning, she increased the pace. It did not surprise her at all that she only needed a few strokes before Jimmy shot his watery load.

Jimmy’s diary

November 24, 2006

I did something stupid. I really hope I have not messed up.
You know how I asked Hannah if she wants to do more than wanking me, right? And she said yes, but not yet. All in due time.
Well, yesterday night I got really horny. So when we got in bed, and she had me kissing her titties again, and she grabbed my dick, I asked if she could please put it in her mouth. And she again said not yet, but in due time. But I was frustrated so I could not drop it. I asked why not. Asked if she does not love me enough. Asked why wait, since we’re already having sex anyway.
And then she got mad at me. She said to stop whining. To enjoy what I have, and to trust that she’ll keep her word to do more, at the right time. And that I should stop trying to change things that we cannot change. That’s such a weird thing to say? As if I’ve been trying to change her all the time already! I swear, this is the first time I complained!

I promise, I’ll never do something like this again. She took me out of the orphanage. She gave me a good life. And she even has sex with me! (Well, not yesterday, she was too upset with me, but even then we still snuggled and that was still nice).
I love her and I don’t want to make her mad ever again!

Luckily, she’s not mad anymore now. This morning she wanked me again, as every morning. And she let me kiss her titties again.
I apologized for yesterday and she was so sweet! She said it’s all okay, and even pretended not to recall what I had done. “Whatever you did, it’s your past. No way to change it. Just make today a good day.” That is what she said. Yeah, she’s sometimes weird like that.

Next step

The weather had turned bad. December is of course always cold, but the snow storm was unexpected.
“It’s still going outside,” Hannah remarked, as she peeked through the closed curtains.
“Yes. Maybe tomorrow the wind will be gone. Then we can play in the snow!”
“Indeed, Jimmy. I’m gonna teach you how to build a snowman. But now you need to stay inside. I’ll be back in an hour.”
She grabbed her coat.
“Why are you going out? The weather is terrible! Stay inside too! We can play another round of Destiny.”
“I wish. But someone needs to go out and fetch groceries. Or would you rather skip dinner?”
“Huh? But we still have leftovers from yesterday in the fridge! You said that I should leave the rest for today, so you won’t have to buy stuff and cook!”
“Oh? Oh, yes, of course! Sorry, I had forgotten. Let me check what we have.”
“Shepherd’s pie. Your favorite!”
“Oh, yes. Of course!”

Even reheated, the shepherd’s pie still tasted delicious. Hannah and Jimmy did the dishes together, then settled on the couch. And then Hannah produced a small gift-wrapped package, that she presented to Jimmy.
“What is this?”
“Open it.”
“A notebook? Thanks! But why?”
“Your lazy vacation time is over, my son. Tomorrow, your homeschooling starts. We’ll go shopping for all the books and stuff you need.”
“Tomorrow? But what if the storm lasts?”
“It won’t. As I just said, we’ll build a snowman. And then we’ll go shopping. But I already want to give you this, the first and most important part of your school supplies. You must use this notebook to track exactly what we covered each day. It will help us to keep track of where we were, and where to continue the lesson.”
“Oh, but I have good memory. I can recall what …”
“Perhaps, but you still need to track it. And show it to me before each lesson. So that I can … uhm … So that I can verify that you don’t misunderstand things I teach.”
“Okay, Hannah,” Jimmy said, then hugged Hannah and kissed her passionately on her mouth, “I’ll keep track of all my lessons here.”
“Whoaw, that’s a nice kiss, big boy. It looks like someone wants to go to bed!”

Jimmy instantly hugged Hannah when they were naked, pressing his body against hers, enjoying the feeling of her warm breasts against his chest. And then he leaned down and started to kiss and lick her nipples, the way she had taught him two weeks ago. He kept going, until she finally pushed him away.
“That was very nice, big boy. But it’s your turn now!”
She gestured for him to lay on his back, and then started giving him little kisses, starting at his chin, then slowly down, across his still hairless chest, briefly visiting each nipple, then down over his abdomen, and then further.
Jimmy drew in air sharply. Would this be the day? Was she finally going to …

The second Hannah closed her lips around his hard pecker, he already started cumming. As his whole body shivered for joy, his dick shot jet after jet into her mouth. And then he collapsed on the bed, in a pile of happy fulfillment.
“Wow, you came fast today! You normally last longer.”
“Well, yeah, but normally you don’t … I mean, you didn’t even warn me that you were going to do that. Finally! Thank you so much, dear Hannah. I really love you.”
“Finally?”
Hannah seemed to ponder Jimmy’s words. But then she broke into a smile.
“Yes, I figured that today is the right time to take the next step. And don’t worry about shooting so fast. Tomorrow, you will last longer.”
And then she laid back on the bed, spread her legs, sighed, and said: “My turn now.”

“Your turn?” Jimmy asked, a blank stare in his eyes.
“Yes. Oh, yes, right. I forgot. I’ll have to teach you to lick me. I want to cum too.”
“Lick you? You mean down there? Isn’t that yucky?”
“Yucky? No, not at all. Just as it’s not yucky for me to blow you.”
“Oh. But Dicky and Richard always said …”
“The boys from the orphanage, right? They have no idea what they miss. Trust me, you will love it and you’ll want to do it every day from now on. Just follow my lead. If you want to, of course. I have never forced you to anything. And I never will.”

Jimmy hesitated at first. But then he realized that she was right, she had done it for him too. He should at least give it a try. And so he tentatively stuck out his tongue, to get his first taste of woman. And then, after he decided that it did indeed not taste bad, he eagerly started lapping her labia.
“Okay, that is a good start. Now try to stick your tongue in between. Yes, you can press a bit harder. I’m not made of sugar. Yes, oh yes, that is better! Now follow the slit. Do you feel that little button at the top? Perhaps you should remove your tongue first and just look at it. I’ll point out where I am the most sensitive.”

Jimmy was an eager student. Soon he very tentatively put his finger on Hannah’s clit. Then, following her encouragement, a bit harder. He moved it down, and as he pushed it in her vagina, he watched in amazement how his whole finger disappeared in her warm and wet hole.
“It feels good when you finger me like this. Try pushing in and out a few times? Oh, yes. But now use your tongue again. That is even better. You’ll need a few days of practice, but next week … oooaaahhh, yes! … I’m sure that next week, you’ll be able to fingerfuck and lick me at … hmmmmm … at the same time.”
“Is that even better for you?”
“Don’t stop. Don’t talk. I need your tongue in me now.”
Jimmy returned to licking, enjoying the sweet and soury taste of Hannah’s flowing juices. She closed her eyes, stroked Jimmy’s hair with one hand as her other massaged her boobs, and then exploded in a wonderful orgasm.

“You know what I liked best?”
“When you shot off in my mouth?”
“No. Well, yes. That too. But perhaps even more when I licked you.”
“See? I told you it’s not yucky.”
“Yes. But that is not what I meant.”
“Oh?”
“When you moaned so hard, and your whole body shook. That was your cum, right? And it feels as good for you as when I shoot off?”
“Yes.”
“That was my favorite part. It was such a thrill to make you feel so good.”
Hannah smiled, and drew him close to her, as she closed her eyes.
“Only twelve and a bit. And already the caring man you’ll become awakens. You already understand that giving is at least as important as receiving in sex. And in life.”
The last words were barely audible, as she drifted off in her sleep. Jimmy lay awake a bit longer, pondering her words in between reliving the great feeling of a warm mouth around his cock.

Jimmy’s diary

February 3, 2007

I think my dick is growing. Not sure, but I think so. I measured it today, but I have not measured it before. So I’m not sure. Anyway, its 11.5 centimeters now. I’ll measure again next month. Then I will at least know if it’s indeed growing.
I also asked Hannah. But she acted weird again. She said she didn’t know. How can she not know if a dick she sucks every day has grown? She hesitated a bit when I asked her. As if she was making up an excuse. And then she said that it’s normal not to notice a very slow change.
I don’t know. Perhaps it has really not grown and she just wants to spare my feelings? Wait, I’ll ask.

See? Told you. She’s weird. She just avoided my question. She didn’t say that it has grown. Or that it has not. She only said the normal yadda yadda about all boys being insecure. And then she said that I have no reason to be insecure. That it is okay for my age, and that I can trust that it’ll be bigger when I measure again in a month.
How can she be so sure that it will grow, when she does not even know whether it has grown in the past months? I think she’s just saying things to make me feel better. Doesn’t she understand that lying doesn’t help?

Truth

A gentle knock on the door.
“Jimmy?”
Jimmy lifted his head from the pillow he had been crying in. His own pillow, in his own bed, that they had bought the day after he moved in, but that he never used to sleep in – until this last night, when he had cried himself to sleep, woken up, and then started crying again.

He wiped the back of his hand across his eyes, smearing the tears across his face.
“What?”
“Can I come in? I think we need a serious talk.”
“What about? About my dick that doesn’t grow?”
“About what? Is that what this is about?”
“Oh, come on, you can’t have forgotten that! Last night, you said …”
An uncontrollable sob stopped Jimmy mid sentence.
“Okay. Please Jimmy. I can explain. And it is apparently now the time to explain.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“Can I come in? This is hard for me. I can’t do this through a closed door.”

Hannah sat down on the bed next to Jimmy. She hugged him close and kissed his forehead.
“I am sorry for hurting you, dear boy. I never want to hurt you. But I can’t always prevent it. I can’t change what has been done.”
“I know Hannah. I know you love me. Just as I love you. But why could you not simply tell me that my dick has not …”
“Shhh,” she said, pressing a finger against Jimmy’s mouth, “that is not what this is about. This is … far worse, I guess. It’s hard to tell you. I have had all my life to get used to this. I need to think how to tell you this.”
“What?”
“I am … not normal.”
“Huh?”
“I am … I guess you can call me a time traveler.”
“Hannah! You said you’d be serious!”
She sighed.
“I know that this is hard to believe. But I am serious. Look me in the eyes, please. I am a time traveler.”

They were silent for a few minutes. And then Jimmy’s face lit up.
“Okay. I believe you. But how does that work? Is it like Dr Who, in a TARDIS? And where are you from? The future, I guess? How many centuries? Are you even from earth? And what …”
He fell silent as he saw Hannah’s sad look.
“Not like that, I’m afraid. It is automatic. I can’t control it. It just happens.”
“So … so then … that means I will lose you? One day you will suddenly jump to another time and I won’t ever see you again?”
“You won’t lose me. At least not for a long time. It’s not as you think. Let me explain. Please don’t interrupt me. Okay?”
“Okay.”

“So, I am indeed from the future. I was born in 2030. I think. I don’t know exactly, but we believe that it must be 2030.”
“We?”
“Please. Let me finish. I was born in 2030. And since then, I have been living in reverse. It’s 2007 now, that is 23 years before 2030. But for me, it is 23 years after 2030. I am now 23.”
“But you were already 24 when you adopted me!”
“Exactly. Because I haven’t adopted you yet. Well, I have. For you. But not for me. I will adopt you. When I’m 24, apparently. I now know I will, because you told me that it happened.”
“But … but … okay, this makes no sense. If you live backwards, then how can we even talk normally? Have you learned to talk in reverse?”
Hannah smiled.
“Okay, it is even a bit more complicated. I think of it as one step forward, one jump back. It is February 3 now. I just woke up an hour ago and I’ve been living just like you since. And that’ll be so for the rest of the day. But tonight, when I go to bed … I’ll wake up in the morning of February 2. Your yesterday. And apparently, I will do something to upset you yesterday. Tomorrow.”
“And that happens every night?”
Hannah just nodded.
“So, when you went to bed yesterday, that was tomorrow? February 4?”
“Yes.”
“And you are really not kidding me?”
“Listen. I get that you don’t believe me. So I will give you proof. Tomorrow, a bit after noon, two cars almost crashed into each other in front of the neighbor’s house. You were interrupted from your game by the screeching of the braking cars. There was a single woman in the red car, and a man with two children in the black car. We didn’t keep watching once we saw they were okay. You just burst into tears and hugged me. I thought it was because the near accident scared you. Now I know the real reason you cried. My yesterday, your tomorrow, is when you really knew … will know … for sure that I am telling the truth.”

Jimmy’s diary

February 5, 2007

God damn! It happened exactly as she told me. Just after noon, two cars almost crashed. As I wrote yesterday. The thing she said. It is really true.

I am so glad I have you. Now all the weird things that happened in the last months make sense. I just read back everything I wrote since she adopted me. And it all makes sense. But I now have new questions. More than I can ask at once. This is so big! My head almost explodes!

Predestination

“Hannah?”
“Yes?”
“Why did you adopt me? Uhm, wait, no. That is your future, right? So, why will you adopt me? Do you know?”
“You can just talk about your past as the past. Didn’t I tell you that already?”
“No.”
“So this is the first time then. For you. And the last time for me. Trust me, I have reminded you countless times in the future.”
She smiled wearily, as Jimmy tried to process her words.

“So, why will I adopt you? Well, first of all because I love you. I am happy to have you in my life.”
“But for you, that already happened, right? So you get me from the orphanage, and then the next morning you wake up without me and do the paperwork, but I still won’t be in your future. I think. I don’t remember having seen you before you adopted me.”
“Yes. That’s how it works.”
“So why not just … why not just not do the paperwork?”
“I don’t think I can. It has already happened, after all. It has happened, so it has to happen.”
“But then … then what would happen if … if …”
“If I try to change the past? I’m not sure I can. I’ve tried in the past. My past. When I was still young and struggling to accept my fate. I’ve tried with smaller things, and somehow it just never worked. Things always happened as you had told me.”
“I?”
“Yes, you. You’ll be with me as long as I remember. You’ll raise me, you’ll be my daddy. You have explained to me why the world is so weird for me. Just as I will probably soon have to explain things to you. When the time is right.”
She sighed.
“And that is exactly why I will indeed go and get you from the orphanage on what for me will be the last day I see you. And then do the paperwork after I lose you. Because I don’t want to risk to change the future, which is my past. My worst fear is that I might one day in your past do something that does change things, and then all of a sudden lose all my happy memories of life with you.”

They sat together for a long time, in a silent hug. Jimmy was the first to speak.
“Your life must have been very hard, Hannah. I promise that I will help you as much as I can. Now and even more when I get older and you get younger.”
“Thanks, Jimmy. That means a lot to me. And I know that you will keep your promise. Because you already have.”
“I already … Oh, yes. Of course. Your past.”
“Yes.”
“And you are not afraid that I’ll mess up and change your past?”
“I’m not sure you can. Just as I don’t think I can change your past, the past of the entire rest of the world.”
“So, you mean, whatever I do, it is already set in stone?”
“I wish I knew. After all those years, I still don’t know many things. But I am convinced that it will happen as it happened if you try your best.”
“I will always try my best to help you, Hannah.”
“Thanks. But for now, you are still my son. For now, it’s me helping you.”

After a few minutes of silence, Hannah looked Jimmy in the eye, and then asked, a mixture of warmth and concern in her voice:
“Jimmy? I think you have more questions?”
“Hundreds. But my head can’t take much anymore. Is it okay to ask them later?”
“Of course. You already did ask them later. We talked so much in the years ahead of you. But there’s a lot I don’t understand either. I often had to tell you that I don’t know. You’ll be frustrated. But I can’t change it.”
She saw how Jimmy focused, trying to parse her words and understand the confusing timelines. But the he nodded.
“I’ll try not to be frustrated.”
“I know.” She kissed him. “But I think you have one question that you do want to ask now. Right?”
“Yes. Perhaps weird to ask this. But I want to know. The sex. Why did you start to play with me? And then later blow me? I mean, I like it. I’m happy you did. But I also know that it’s not normal. Why don’t you find a boy friend your own age?”
“And then watch him get older as I get younger? Try to explain to him why I keep looking younger? And keep ‘forgetting’ what we have done ‘yesterday’?”
“So that’s why you chose me? Because I am safe?”
“I didn’t pick you, Jimmy. You picked me. Or perhaps I should say, you will pick me? Don’t get me wrong. I would have picked you, if you had not already picked me. But we have been having sex for as long as I can remember. I think you started it, somewhere in the future.”
“Huh? What?”
“Look. I know I am the one living the wrong way. But to me, it feels like everyone else is living in reverse. I grew up with you as my loving father. Who got younger as I got older, so you became my friend. And it never felt right to just stop having sex the day you legally were below 18. Or below 16. Or … well, never. I only stopped fucking because you told me to.”

“What? I told you to … I mean, I will tell you to … WHAT? Are you saying we’re actually going to fuck???”
A huge smile appeared on his face, almost splitting it.
“When? Can we do it now?”
“No, Jimmy. You’ll have to wait. We haven’t fucked since April 10. And that was your first time. Trust me. I have tried to change things. You have too. Or rather, you will. It always backfires. The harder we try to do things different, the harder life ensures we fail. I don’t want to risk giving you a bad experience. Your first time will be in two months. It was very good. I want your first time to be good, so please wait for when you had that great first time. Okay?”
“You don’t miss it?”
“I miss it very much. But I have to do what has already been done. And I have lots of great memories. And I also very much enjoy the things we do still do together. Which reminds me. You need to tell me how I started things with you. So I know when I have to do the things I did. And when I have to stop.”

Jimmy’s diary

April 9, 2007

It’s finally going to happen tomorrow!
Well … finally … I’m still only 12. Most boys my age will have to wait years longer. But I knew that it’ll happen tomorrow for two months now.
Hannah has giggled knowingly every day when I could not stop myself from babbling about it. Except today. I guess today was the first time it was not a repeat of her previous day. LOL.
She just listened and smiled, and when I worried about doing it right, she told me that it will be fine and that I should not worry. But I do. What if I shoot too soon? What if she doesn’t like it? It’s her last time, I feel I should make it special for her. But she only talks about making it special for me.
I need to go to bed. I hope I’ll sleep soon. So that it will be tomorrow soon!

Her first last time

“Good morning, Jimmy!”
“Good morning, Hannah! You know what’s going to happen today, right!”
She suddenly looked a bit sad.
“Yes, I know. You reminded me tomorrow, when you told me how much you loved your first time and that you want to do it every day.”
“So why are you … oh, wait! I forgot that this means it’s the last time for you.”
He hugged her.
“Yes. And I’m afraid I’ll miss it very much.”
“No worries, Hannah. You’ll be fine. You told me two months ago that you have lots of great memories.”
“I will? Oh. Okay. That is good then.”
“And we won’t stop completely. We did … will do … did other stuff.”
“Oh? Good, I guess.” She smiled a bit, then turned sad again. “Although that also means that there are just more last times ahead of me. Last time I suck you. Last time you kiss me. Last time we …”
She stopped, and thought.
“Oh, you need to tell me about all those last times. First times for you. I don’t want to accidentally change anything.”
“I already told you. I mean, I will tell you. A few weeks ago. Let’s not do that now. I hate to see you sad like this, Hannah. Here, let me kiss you all happy again!”

Hannah smiled and spread her legs as Jimmy lowered his face towards her crotch. He wasn’t as skilled anymore as he would become when she was younger. But he was still very adept at making her happy, and making her cum. Thanks, he had said in a few weeks, to her excellent coaching his first few times. Which was strange, because he was the one who had taught her all the things that feel really good, so many years ago, so many years in the future. How does it make sense to teach him what he already taught her?
She chased that thought from her brain as she relaxed, closed her eyes, and just enjoyed the eager tongue of her young lover.

Two orgasms later, Hannah pushed Jimmy aside and they lay next to each other for a while. Her in a dreamy post-orgasmic state, he happy that she was no longer sad. But then she noticed his throbbing boy cock.
“Oh my. It looks like I’ve been ignoring you. Don’t you want some help with that?”
“Oh? I guess. I didn’t even think about it. I just wanted you to not be sad anymore.”
“And you did. But now I want to make you happy. Come. Come here. It’s time.”
“Time? You mean, for …?”
“For your first time? Yes. Let’s do it now, in the morning already. So we can do it again this evening, and your first time is not my last.”

No more foreplay was needed. Hannah was still completely wet from Jimmy’s oral skills. And he had been rock hard already, and was even harder now that he knew he was about to get his first lay. So Hannah just pulled him on top of her. As he instinctively tried to thrust his pelvis and missed her entrance, she shushed him to take it easy, as she took his boyhood in her hand and guided it to the proper place.
Jimmy groaned deeply as Hannah sighed a content sigh. She told him to move in and out, and with way more vigor than skill, he started to pump his stiffy energetically in and out her wetness. He didn’t last long. Just six pumps, and then he released his sperm inside her.

“You didn’t cum. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I came two times before, when you licked me.”
“I wanted to make it special for you. Not so very fast.”
“It’s okay. We’ll do it again later today. And then you will last longer.”
“How do you know? Later today is your future too!”
“I know because I know how dicks work. A second time always lasts longer. As long as there is not too much time in between.”
“I want to do this all the time!”
“All the time is a bit too much. But we’ll do it a lot. At least once every day, as long as I can remember.”
“Good.”

* * *

All legal

“Happy birthday, Jimmy!”
“Thanks, Hannah! For everything.”
“Everything?”
“Well. Yes. That birthday cake over there. The kiss you just gave me. Being you. And of course for making my last six years the happiest of my life. Six years ago, exactly on my twelfth birthday, is when you adopted me and got me out of that terrible orphanage.”
She giggled.
“I still think it’s funny that I’m gonna adopt you in six years. And that that adoption is still legal now, even though we’re the same age now. You still have to do what momma says!”
She laughed and tickled him as she said that, but he grabbed her wrists, rolled on top of her and pinned her to the bed.
“You know what else is legal? I’m eighteen now. I can do this and it’s all legal!”
Hannah sighed happily as Jimmy entered her. Jimmy knew that she was always horny. They could and often would have foreplay for hours. But at other times, they just both wanted a quick fuck. This was such a time.

Ten minutes later, he rolled off of her, both wearing a broad smile.
“Are you really sure that it is legal?” Hannah then teased.
“Well, you know that my birthday is not known exactly. But it’s most likely today, or else it was yesterday. So yes, I’m pretty sure I am 18 now.”
“Yes. I know. But what about me? We don’t really know how old I am, do we?”
Jimmy got serious.
“No. And that still bothers me. That I’ll have to wait until you are born before I know your exact birthday. And then I won’t be able to give you that information. Or to give it to past me. Both you and me will never know until it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Perhaps you won’t even be there when I am born?”
“I will. I will never leave you. If I don’t die, then I’ll stay with you until the day you are born. I’ve promised you that countless times.”

But then he got out of the bed and looked Hannah over, slowly, carefully, lovingly. She was even prettier than when they first met. But that was his love clouding his vision. When he looked objectively, he had to admit that she had not changed much. Perhaps her hips were a bit less wide now. Her breasts definitely looked firmer, but they were not shrinking yet. Her very smooth mons betrayed that she’d probably shave again in a day or two.
“You told me, will tell me, that you were born in 2030. And I know that’s just a guess. But it’s 2012 now, so that would make you 18. And I think your body looks like that of an 18-year-old.”

His own body had changed much more in the past six years that they had lived together. His dick was now a proud 16 centimeters when hard, which it often was. His voice was deeper, and his body had grown in size but even more in muscles. And he was also happy with the many little curly hairs on his chest, especially since they seemed to be Hannah’s second favorite part of him.
As if she had heard his thoughts, she laid her head on his chest and let her fingers play with those little hairs, as she did almost every day.

“Aren’t you curious about your present?”
“D’uh! Of course I am! Where is it?”
Hannah seemed in thought for a second.
“I think it will be in the drawer of your bedside table. I just decided that I’ll hide it there yesterday.”
He quickly opened the drawer to find a neatly wrapped gift. He tore off the paper and his eyes got wide with excitement as he saw the contents.
“A new sketchbook and a new set of drawing pencils? Oh, God. That is exactly what I wanted, Hannah! How did you know?”
She giggled.
“You know how I know. Yesterday, I’ll tell you I’ll do the groceries by myself. And then I’ll sneak to the hobby shop and buy this for you. Seeing the happiness in your eyes now tells me that this is the right gift for you!”
“Damn girl. Isn’t that cheating?”
“Surely you don’t mind?”
“Mind or not, cheaters still need to get punished.”
And with those words, he dove between her legs and started to work his tongue on her horny cunt, driving her to just before orgasm and then stopping. And then again and again and again.

“God, I love it when you edge me for such a long time.”
“Yeah, me too!” Jimmy grunted, as he finally climbed on top of Hannah and plunged his aching dick all the way in, bringing her to an instant orgasm. He himself only managed a few more thrusts in her spasming body before he released his sticky sperm deep inside the woman he loved more than anything else in the world.

* * *

Jimmy’s diary

June 13, 2015

I’m sorry my old friend. I have not written in a long time. But I struggle today. And I can’t discuss this with Hannah. Not anymore. She’s getting too young. I wish I had seen this coming before, when she was still old enough to help me.
I still don’t know when exactly she’ll be born. But 2030 still sounds credible. I notice it from her behavior. She’s much less serious now. Playful. Sometimes also testing boundaries. I still can’t get used to how I now sometimes have to tell her how to behave. I’ve become her, telling her the things that I hated hearing from her when I was in puberty.
I can see it in her body too. Her breasts are definitely more perky now, and a bit smaller. I had already noticed, or at least I thought I had. And I knew for sure after doing the laundry today. She no longer wears her size C bras, she has switched to B. I am so glad that I already bought them for her a few months back!

But that brings me to why I am writing this. She has always been vague on when we started to have sex. I always assumed it would be around the time she became a minor. But she still looked the same and it still felt the same. So I didn’t stop. We didn’t stop. However, she no longer looks the same now. She may not be exactly 15, but she totally looks 15.
I am not a pedo. I really believe I am not a pedo. I am not attracted to children. Not even to what people call jailbait. But Hannah … Hannah is special. I love her. Our sex feels like a natural part or our relation. I don’t want it to stop. I don’t see her as a child. Should I stop?
She does not seem to see anything wrong. She’s only getting more eager, more horny.

You know what worries me most? Her experience. I of course don’t have any comparison. I don’t know how an inexperienced girl would be. But the way she behaves in bed? That can’t be inexperienced.
So that is my main worry. How long will I continue to have sex with her? How young will she be when I start with her? And … will I be able to keep my hands off of her once she is too young?

* * *

You will have done it all right!

“Dad?”
Jimmy flinched. He had not yet gotten used to Hannah calling him dad.
“Sorry. Did I startle you?”
“No. Not really. Well, perhaps a bit. It feels weird when you call me dad.”
“But I have always called … Oh, yeah. Right.”
“I’m now only six years older than you. I’m surprised you will have kept calling me dad for so long.”
“Well, I was kinda used to it. But you’re right. I’ll stop calling you dad.”
“I know. You’ll make some mistakes in the last two weeks. But after that you’ll only call me Jimmy. Well except that one time now almost a year ago, but that was in jest.”

He smiled as he threw off the sheets.
“Come, let’s shower.”
She really needed a shower. There was dried cum in her hair that Jimmy assumed to be from whatever they would do tomorrow night, and he had just deposited a large load in her young cunt. And he himself was ready for a shower too. His dick was sticky with their mixed juices, and he was sweaty all over. He was still very happy with the large shower that he had installed two years ago, so that they could now easily shower together.

He watched in appreciation as she gracefully got out of bed. She had always been very beautiful. But to his surprise, she was getting more and more beautiful now that she got younger. Her firm young breasts were now just the size of two small oranges, and almost that shape. She had stopped shaving, or rather, she had not started shaving yet. He smiled as he recalled how he had taught her to shave, four months ago. Now she had a beautiful patch of downy hairs, that were barely visible and would probably soon disappear completely.

Hannah giggled as she walked past Jimmy.
“Like what you say, you perv?”
She swayed her beautiful butt in a very exaggerated way, and slowed her pace to make sure he had ample time to enjoy the sight.
“Very much, Hannah. You are really beautiful.”

The shower took much longer than needed, because they had chosen to wash each other instead of themselves, which of course resulted in a lot of attention to their most sensitive body parts. But now they were finally in the kitchen. Jimmy was stirring the eggs while Hannah was setting the table.
“Hannah?”
“Yes? You sound serious, dad … sorry, Jimmy. Anything wrong?”
“No. Nothing wrong. But I am indeed serious, because I worry.”
“About what?”
“About our sex. No, wait. I know you love it. I know that people will say that you are too young, but I can see that this does not harm you. Heck, I know it doesn’t harm you, because otherwise I would already have seen the problems you’ll get from it. But I’m afraid that I continue for too long. You are fourteen now. I think. At least close. But will you still be okay with it if we continue to have sex when you’re thirteen? Or even twelve?”
“Dad …”
“I’m just so afraid that I won’t stop in time. That I’ll continue when you are too young. I don’t want to ruin your childhood!”
“Dad, listen. You told me that I can never tell you when we started doing things.”
“I told you that? I don’t recall saying that!”
“Of course not. But you will say it, because you did in my past.”
“Well, I was wrong. I will be wrong, I mean. You must tell me. I can only stop in time when you tell me when I stopped. Started, I mean.”
Hannah sighed.
“You told me you will say this. But you also told me to ignore you. Trust me, da … Jimmy. You will know when it’s time. You must not know now.”
“But … but what if … what if I hurt you?”
“You never hurt me dad. It was always great. Trust me. You did it right. No, wait, will do it right. Or … damn! You will have done it right?”
“I will have done it right?” Jimmy chuckled, “I guess I’ll have to write my own teaching material on past and present tense once you’re young enough that I need to teach you conjugations. Which reminds me, it’s time for your home schooling. Math first. Please remind me what I’ll cover tomorrow, so I can continue where we’ll have stopped.”

* * *

Jimmy’s diary

November 30, 2021

I can confirm that one’s perception really changes with time. Mine does, at least.
I just read back to what I wrote here over time. All those journal entries of my life. Thoughts that I had. My own thoughts, honest, unfiltered. And yet I hardly recognize some.
I recall writing them. As I read them, I can see myself in the chair that I had to replace last year, after that time that Hannah just kept throwing up, and I never understood why until I myself got sick as well from the food we had the next day. I can recollect my thoughts and emotions as I wrote those words.

To imagine now, that I was so concerned about our sex when she was 15. A thought that is now so strange to me that I can hardly fathom that I had it. And yet, I did. I recall thinking that way.
Could I even have imagined back then that now, six years later, I’m still regularly having sex with Hannah? How would I have responded if I had known back then that I’d fuck her after she goes into the single digits?
I’m sure that 2015 me would not have been able to handle that knowledge. I needed the past six years to get used to it. To settle into it. And to realize that it’s not just great for me, but that it’s most of all great for her. She is so …
Wait, she’s calling me. I’ll finish this later.

Never tell

“Daddy!!!!!”
“Yes, sweetheart! I’m coming!”
He quickly put his diary back in the drawer, locked it, and put the key back in its hiding spot, then he rushed downstairs to where Hannah was calling him impatiently. Her state of undress made it clear why she had called him. He stopped for a second to take in her beauty.
Her breasts had disappeared a few years ago. Her little cunny was deliciously smooth. Her puffy labia were wet, betraying she had been playing with herself before calling him. She was on the floor, on her back on the rug, her legs spread wide.
“Daddy! There you are! Can we fuck again?”

Jimmy looked down at his crotch, at the trousers that hid his limp dick.
“I’m sorry darling. You already got my sperm twice this morning. I need time to recover. Sorry, but that’s what happens when you get older.”
Hannah giggled.
“Silly daddy! You’re not getting older. You’re getting younger every day!”
“Yes. To you I am getting younger. Trust me, when you’re a few years older, I was able to do it more often and with less recovery time.”
“Cool! So we will fucked all day!”
“Will have fucked, Hannah. Or will fuck. Or just fucked. Depending on who is … Oh never mind. I know it’s difficult but try to get it right, okay?”

He picked her little body up from the floor and carried her to the couch. He then knelt in front of her.
“Ohhh, are you gonna lick my cunny?”
“If you want to?”
“I always want to! Except when you want to fuck. Fucking is the best!”
He smiled, but then his face suddenly turned serious.
“What? What is it daddy? Did I do something wrong?”
“No, dear. It’s because of what I just did. In my writing room. Not important for you. Except …”
“Except what, daddy?”
“There is one thing. One thing I need to ask you. It is very important. You might not understand. But it is still important. You must promise me something.”
“Promise what, daddy?”
“I have asked … no, it’s your future. I will[/i] ask you to tell me when we first had sex. I will ask you not once but many times. But it is important, it is [i]very important, that you don’t tell me. You must never tell me, okay?”
“Why not?”
“I can’t tell. But it’s important. If you tell me, I might … I don’t know. And it’s better that way.”
“Okay, daddy. I promise!”
“Thanks, darling!”
“And did I keep my promise, daddy?”
“Yes. You will keep it. You have never told me when we started. And you must not tell me now either. I’ll just figure it out.”
Hannah was no longer listening. She was massaging her little love button. Once Jimmy stopped talking, she closed her little legs behind his neck and pushed his head into her wet snatch.

* * *

Her last first time

The day started just like any other day, with Hannah waking Jimmy up well before he wanted to. But, as always, he didn’t mind, because, again as always, she instantly spread her little legs to get her “morning lickies”. He could never refuse her that, knowing he’d be rewarded by her happy squirming and her delightful juices.
But Jimmy realized that the rest of the day would not be like any other day at all when he used his fingers to spread her little lips, to make way for his tongue, and then noticed what had never been there before. Her hymen.

“So, today is the day,” he thought to himself, as he dove in and started licking his little girl, trying not to show the emotions that were now raging through her body, “And now I finally now when I started her. Apparently, she was ready today. At only eight years young.”
He had known for a long time that this day would come. It had to come, eventually. Which is why he had started to lick her first thing every morning, before entering her. He wanted her first time to be special. A day to remember for her, for the rest of her life. And also a day to remember for him, because he knew that this memory would have to last him for the rest of his life.

He licked her to orgasm, and then to another one. Just as he had done every morning in the weeks past. And just as he would probably do in the days ahead. After all, Hannah showed no surprise at his actions.

And then he lied down next to her, and looked her in her eyes.
“Hannah, I think today is the right day to do something new.”
“Yes! I know daddy! You told me last week. I’ve been counting the days! You’re gonna put your dick in me today, for the first time. And it will hurt a bit but then I will love it.”
“I told you that? A week ago?”
“Yes! You silly daddy. Always forgetting stuff! You told me. And you also told me that I loved it and did it every day after. And we practiced all week, with you putting your dick against it and pushing a bit. But you told me that you’ll put it all the way in today.”

He kissed her. To his surprise, he suddenly felt her hand on his dick. That was not part of the morning ritual. In the morning, they always fucked after he licked her. But then he realized that that was of course for her the new ritual, starting yesterday. Her tomorrow. Apparently, her old ritual, that he’d get to enjoy from now on, was her using her hands on him.
And not just that. After kissing for a bit, she suddenly lowered her head, opened his mouth, and took as much of him in her little mouth as would fit.
“Careful, honey. Don’t suck too long, or I will cum. And then we’ll have to wait before we fuck.”

Hannah instantly let go off his dick.
“No. No waiting. I’ve waited the whole week. We fuck now!”
And without further ado, she plopped on her back and spread her little legs as wide as she could.

Jimmy crawled over her petite body, making sure to support his weight on one elbow, as he used the hand of his other arm to point his throbbing dick at her tiny hole. She had felt ever tighter over the past years. And now he would finally open her, for her first time.
He felt the familiar resistance as his dickhead slowly pried its way between her labia. But then, when the tip was in, he met a new resistance, one that had never been there before. He paused, to give her time to get used to his fat dick stretching her walls, but also to mentally prepare for the pain he had to inflict on his lovely little girl.

“Are you ready, sweetheart?”
“Yes, daddy!”
“This will hurt a bit.”
“I know, daddy. It’s okay. It will not hurt long.”
“No. You are right. It won’t.”

And then Jimmy puled back a bit and then drove his dick forward with enough force to tear through her membrane and fill her completely.
“Ouch!”
“It’s okay darling. You can cry if you want to.”
“I don’t want to cry, daddy. But can you kiss me?”
“Of course.”

They kissed for a few minutes, as Jimmy enjoyed the feeling of her incredible tightness around his hard rod. Despite his urge to start moving, to pump in and out and fuck her hard, he held still. The time of hard fucks was past. Today was her first. Today he’d have to be very gentle.
“Does it still hurt?”
“No, daddy. Not anymore.”
“I’ll try to move now. Tell me when it hurts.”
“Okay, daddy. Oh? Oh! Oh, yes! Oh, that feels weird! Funny. But good. It feels good, daddy!”

Jimmy had to fight to postpone his orgasm. Fucking Hannah had always been great, since that very first time when he was only 12 and she was 24. But today was one of the best, if not the best! He was so close to cumming. But he wanted to hold back. Wanted to make it last. He did not know if Hannah would cum from their first fucking. But he knew that she was enjoying it, and he wanted to give her as much pleasure as he could, after the pain he had had to put her through.
While still moving in and out, with long and gentle strokes, he brought his hand down to find her little love button. His index finger found the target and gently massaged her there. And that was indeed enough to push her over the edge. She screamed for joy, her body arched and spasmed, and the convulsions of her young cunt sent Jimmy over the edge. He unloaded his sperms deep in her premature body, as she kept cumming and cumming.
Until she collapsed on the bed and seemed to pass out.

Jimmy gently withdrew his deflating cock from her swollen cunny. A large gob of sperm, white with some red streaks of her virginal blood, followed. He looked at her face, her eyes closed, her mind temporarily shut off due to the overload of pleasure.
“I love you honey,” he whispered, “and I hope you had a great first time. Tomorrow, I’ll lick you and finger you. And I guess you’re going to blow me. I’ll keep enjoying that as long as you do, until I pass those first times too. But even though the sex will get less, and eventually stop, I will still love you, until the day you’ll be born.”

* * *

Jimmy’s diary

June 3, 2025

Dear lord. This phase is so hard. So incredibly hard.
It was hard last year, when I had to explain to her in ever simpler words why the world is as it is for her. Why she is different from all other people. Why that does not mean that she is a freak.
But I was at least able to explain. Somewhat.

Now? Now she is simply too young. How do you explain to a five-year-old, who has barely started to grasp the concept of time, that she is living backwards?
And yet she does notice that things are off. Things like her favorite stuffed animal, that she always has had, and then I give it to her, and the next day she can’t find it. How can I explain that it’s still in the shop and that I’ll buy it tomorrow?

I’m so glad that I have still not stopped pleasuring her little body. I would never have imagined that I’d still do it today. But I am glad I do. I am glad that I will apparently have started her already before this phase. When she is sad and confused, a nice play session is sure to take her thoughts away from whatever is troubling her. And then she is my smiling happy angel again.

But yet. I think this is the first time ever that I can’t wait for time to pass, can’t wait for her to get younger. A few more months, perhaps a year. Then she won’t realize what’s wrong yet, she’ll be too young. She’ll just be happy without complications.

I now know when I will stop licking and stroking her little cunny. That will be when she is finally too young to realize. When she doesn’t yet need sexual pleasure to keep her mind off of her confusing life.

* * *

The end

Jimmy woke up. He instinctively looked in the crib next to his bed. It was empty.
He was not even surprised. He had known for weeks, months even, that this day would come. He just had not known when exactly. Now he knew. Today was the day. Today. His 36th birthday. In a way, it was fitting.

He shook his head, as he looked at the empty crib. He wanted to cry, but there were no tears left after all the nights and afternoons that he had been crying when she was asleep. Knowing he would lose her had been so hard for him to bear.
Of course, in a way, it had also been a blessing. For years already, since the very first time he had realized that this day would eventually come, he had made sure to make the best out of their time together. Even more in the last year. He had never cried when she was awake. He had always made time for her, played with her. Enjoyed her little laughs as he tickled her or threw her high in the air and caught her again.

He still did not know where she came from. That had frustrated him in the past, but right now he was just numb and didn’t really care. He had so long expected that he would meet a woman. That they would have a baby. That Hannah was actually his.
But he never went out to date. How do you date, when you have a daughter to care for? A daughter that gets younger every day? A daughter that will, somewhere in the near future, disappear? How do you tell your date that you want to have a daughter with her, the very daughter that is lying in her crib in the room? How do you convince someone to make a child with you that she’ll only know from the day you meet until childbirth?

And so he stayed alone. Never lonely. He had Hannah, and that was enough. He never longed for company. He just had thought he had to find a woman, to make Hannah happen. Until he never found that woman, and Hannah still existed.
And now she didn’t exist anymore. Or didn’t exist yet? Or perhaps she did exist already. Perhaps she was born tomorrow or next week, and then for some reason will wake up in his crib yesterday morning?
He shook his head. After 18 years together, it still made no sense.

He mechanically took his breakfast. Porridge and two cups of coffee, just as every other day. It was the same as always, yet tasted bland. He forced himself to finish it, forced himself to pick up laundry, forced himself into his daily routine.

But then that routine was interrupted by the sound of his doorbell.
Jimmy sighed and got up. He grabbed his keys and slouched towards the door. He peeked through the stained glass, but saw nothing.
“Kids playing ding-dong ditch,” he muttered. But on a hunch, he still turned the key to unlock the door and open it.

And then his whole face lit up.
“Hannah!” he exclaimed, as he bent down to pick up the tiny bundle on his doormat.
She was completely wrapped in blankets, to keep her warm and safe. He could not even see her face. But he knew, even before unwrapping the package, that it would be her inside.

After removing the outermost layer of cloth, a small note fell on the floor. Jimmy bent to pick it up.
“Dear stranger. I hope you will help my baby girl. I know I can’t. Please be good to her. Please give her a good life. Or find someone who will.”

He smiled as he mumbled to himself: “I know I will give her a good life, because I already have. Whoever you are, you picked the right door. Of course you did. It already happened, after all.”

And then he prepared for one more day of intense love for the girl and woman he loved more than anything in the world. He knew it would really be the last now. He knew that tonight would really be the final goodbye. But he did not want to think about it. Plenty of time to cry tomorrow. Now he had a baby to love.