JoS/Henriette/2nd Journal - Destined

Heartfire, 3rd, 4E 201

I packed my things last night and took the ride to Windhelm. A little detour, but there was one person I wanted to thank tomorrow when I finally leave for Ivarstead. He gave me clothes and food in my time of need when he didn't even seem to have much to spare, so it's only fair I give something back to him. I'm not sure if I'll be returning to Riverwood anytime soon, so I offered everyone who helped me my gratitude for helping me in the time of need. They were a little worried of me, but I'll be fine, I'm sure of it. Sofia, of course, wanted to tag along with me. I'm not sure how far she's willing to follow me, but I don't mind her company at all. It's helpful to have a friend fighting by my side.

Before we settled down in our rented room, we talked to folks in the Candlehearth Hall and heard about all kinds of rumors. Something about Azura's shrine up in the mountains, something about some bandits holed up in some cave, not about much, to be honest… But a story about a young boy trying to summon an assassin from the Dark Brotherhood stuck to my mind. His name is Aventus Aretino, and he lives here in Windhelm.

I have heard stories about the Dark Brotherhood, and they're all assassins and murderers. They've got a long history with high-profile targets and assassinations, but the last I heard of them was from some news from Cyrodiil about how they've been all but wiped out. I guess they still exist in some form, huh? But why would a kid want to contact them? Well, curious as I were, I investigated. I decided to go alone and figure out exactly what the young boy wants.

The door to his apartment was locked and he wasn't answering. The streets were empty, so I simply broke into his house. When he saw me, he mistook me for the assassin he intended to hire. I didn't say a word to him, and I just listened. He ran away from an orphanage in Riften. He has lost both his parents like me, but he's still very different from me. The best words I could find to describe him would perhaps be helpless, pitiful and dependent. He doesn't seem to be ready to take a step towards adulthood and being independent. Regardless, he wants the owner of the orphanage dead. She's an old woman known as "Grelod the Kind", and Aventus hates her for some reason.

After hearing his story, I told him I'd help him, but I don't know if I can keep that promise… I don't want to murder an old woman, especially one who cares for children. But if what Aventus said is true about that woman, maybe she might deserve to die? I won't just take his word for it, but if I ever visit Riften, I'll make sure to pay a visit to the Honorhall Orphanage and see for myself what this Grelod is all about.

Heartfire, 4th, 4E 201

We have now made it safely to Ivarstead. My feet are sore from all the walking, and tomorrow I'll probably be feeling even worse. I'm not used to this yet. We saw some incredible sights on the way, hunted some deer for a meal on the road, stayed clear of trouble. Some wolves and a wild boar tried to get the better of us, but they were no match. We also saw a troll, but we decided not to fight it. Luckily, it wasn't interested in us either. We may have improved a lot during this short period of time as an adventurer, but no way we can take down a beast like that. It would've probably eaten us alive. Tomorrow is the day we climb the 7000 steps and hopefully learn something about this gift I have.

Heartfire, 5th, 4E 201

There and back, now back in Ivarstead, still in one piece! Those old men sure were surprised when I walked in. Bet they weren't expecting a little girl! They probably haven't seen a female in a long time, period.

They were very respectful of me and wanted to help me grow and develop. In their words, I have a gift from gods, a power of the dragons bestowed upon me by Akatosh himself. They themselves don't see the "Way of the Voice" - which is what they call the study of the dragon tongue - as a weapon or a tool for personal gain, but I, as a Dragonborn, exceed their own rules and standards, so they don't care about me using these powers how I want. Going there and training there made me feel very good and confident about myself. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to learn from them a little, especially since they've already taught me two new words of power. I'm happy to accept any help and knowledge they offer me. If the path to higher learning goes through meditation and focus, it's what I'm going to do as well. It's not like that's gonna stop me from being the kind of person I want to be.

They sent me on a "trial" to retrieve some old horn in a crypt called Ustengrav. Bleak Falls Barrow turned out to be too easy of a task to overcome, so I'm sure I'll pass whatever trial they have stored up for me. I needed a direction for my next journey anyway, so why not travel there next? It's really far away from here though. I could just take a carriage to Morthal, which is nearby, but what's the fun in that? I'm gonna continue to travel by foot and see the world!

I still miss my mommy and daddy, and big bro too, and I'm still not happy about my current condition as a vampire either, but… At least I continue to live. I feel like I have a purpose now!

Heartfire, 6th, 4E 201

We were planning on making it to Morthal today, but we were getting tired, and the sun was already setting, so we didn't make it in time. Traveling during the night is something I eventually have to get used to because of how week walking around in the sun makes me feel, but I'm not sure how Sofia would feel about it. Besides, I'm not ready to take that step yet myself. Nights are more dangerous. Making a trade between feeling slightly weaker and inconvenienced and exposing myself to greater danger is not one I'm willing to make so quickly.

The worst part of being in the dark is not being able to see anything, especially not things that are far away. If I can't see my enemy, how can I hit them with my arrows? I invested in a good sword, and I'm getting better, but I just don't feel comfortable using it in actual fights yet. Yeah, there's so much to consider. I'll make the transition eventually. I've also heard that vampires can see better in the dark, but I don't know… Maybe it's a trained ability or related to magic? Vampires got an affinity with special kinds of magics too, so maybe it's something like that…

I had a torch, just one though. It was enough to guide us to Dawnstar, but it also caused us some trouble… Attracted some attention from Draugr who were wandering in the night. It's a little unusual of them to walk outside the tombs they're guarding. Sofia and I managed to take them down even though we were outnumbered.

Part of the reason it got so late was because we wasted time helping some strange man by the road. He was very, very cheerful, maybe a little creepy, dressed up like some court jester, talked about himself in the third person. His name was Cicero and he was transporting a coffin somewhere, the body of her dead mother or something. A wheel on his wagon was broken though, and the man at the farm next door refused to help him. Don't know why, but I managed to convince him. Got some money from that clown for my troubles too, so I guess it was worth it. I guess clowns make a lot of money, huh?

Now we're safely at the inn and with a belly full of food. Time to sleep I guess… Tomorrow we'll make it to Morthal.

Heartfire, 7th, 4E 201

We ended up staying in Dawnstar for one day to replenish our supplies, talk to people, stare into the Sea of Ghosts, just relax. We slept in way too late. The bed was way too small for two girls to sleep in, so neither of us could get comfortable sleep. We had some strange nightmares too. Some priest of Mara was talking about it in the inn, but we have no time or interest in helping him. We'll depart early tomorrow for sure! I wish I had more to tell… This is kind of a boring place, and there's not much to do.

Oh, and on the topic of supplies… We're already starting to run a little low on gold, and me and Sofia had a rather revealing discussion about how to make it.

From the day we met, I always felt like she's had her stuff well together, even though she herself admits to being a bit of a problem child, with her having trouble with finding suitable work and her difficulties with the College from where she was forced to quit. Making money's always been a big issue for her, which is one of the biggest reasons she wanted to travel with me to begin with. It wasn't so much about taking advantage of me or anything like that, but rather to just help me and get help in the process. It would be extremely likely that we both would fare really badly alone. No doubt I would, at least.

So, one of the ways she's been making money is through prostitution. It shocked me a little, because she doesn't really seem like the type, but she said she doesn't do it because she likes it or anything. It's just that the money can be really good. She said that she's still a virgin though, never having been penetrated before and that she's only ever given blowjobs. Of course, there have been plenty who have tried to push her into vaginal sex, but she's adamant about not doing it, even if it may mean making less money. Even oral sex for a while can give her a meal and a bed after a bad adventure, so it's more than enough.

The reason why she was telling me this was to ask if I was interested myself, and to ask if I think of her as less. The answer to both is "no". No, I would rather not resort to prostituting myself for money, but I also understand her circumstances, so I'm not gonna judge her for choosing differently. Our pockets are not completely empty yet, so we don't feel pressure today anyway… It's just something to think about…

On the topic of her parents and why she can't rely on them… She was actually born and raised in Winterhold, but not by her parents. She has no idea who they were; she was just dropped at the foot of the inn on some summer night and abandoned.

In closing, I really hope we can actually find some valuables from Ustengrav, as the idea of having to resort to physical labor or even prostitution doesn't sound too appealing.

There was also a slight issue of me being a little starved for blood. I haven't exactly had a good chance to feed on anyone. I don't feel too comfortable just butchering a random adventurer on the road for no reason, although I realize that it's something I might have to do one day to survive. Sofia let me sink my teeth into her, just for this once. It was the first time I've ever done it to her, and hopefully the last as well. She said she lets me do it, but I know I can't rely on her too much.

Biting the neck of someone who's awake is nothing like feeding on someone who's asleep or even already dead. I could actually feel her react to what I did to her. It seemed like it hurt her, but she didn't even make a sound. Looking at her face close up, it almost seemed like it felt good for her, but surely that wouldn't be the case? I was so hungry it was hard to control myself, and I grabbed her pretty hard with my hands, but I tried to be careful at the very least.

We both embraced tightly after the fact, and I thanked her dearly. She thanked me too, saying it's a good thing she's found a real friend to travel with. I'm thankful for her being on my side as well.

Now, she's sleeping like a little baby. I should get some rest too.

Heartfire, 8th, 4E 201

What a mess this excavation was, but at least we're both in one piece! We're still resting inside Ustengrav, but we'll be leaving soon enough.

There were bandits outside. Sofia and I were discovered quickly, but that was no problem for us. Then, there were five more bandits inside. I managed to kill them all before they saw us. I'm really proud of myself for that one since they were all one-hit kills. Then, we found the undead. Again, no problem. Things were going a little too well!

Well, some of these damn Draugr just won't stay dead! Nothing like this has happened before. Was it just dumb luck? At least I wasn't even aware of their capabilities to do so, but I sure do know now! Maybe some kind of special weaponry would help me? Silver? Or maybe magic? It would feel weird wielding a silver weapon considering that I'm technically undead myself. Sofia's fiery bolts she conjures up sometimes seem to make stay down permanently.

And would you believe it, they got me off guard, and they tried to rape me! I can't even imagine being raped by walking dead! Disgusting! It's a damn good thing there were two of us there because I wouldn't have been able to fend them off unassisted.

Then the fire traps, and the damned spiders… Fuck, where do I even begin? I hate spiders, first of all. Secondly, I've been burned before by a hot stove, and I'm sure you can tell exactly what it feels, but by the divines, I've never been so hurt by anything in my life! Sofia was way more okay with the flames than I was, saying that while they hurt, it's not painful or something as long as she doesn't touch them directly. I hate being a vampire so much.

And here's the kicker, the reason why I'm not just upset, but angry! The horn I was sent to retrieve wasn't inside the crypt! Instead, there was just a note. Someone's looking for me, and that someone is waiting for me in Riverwood. How did that person know I was looking for the horn is beyond me. Perhaps this is Greybeards' doing too? Well, no matter, I have only one clue left and no choice but to follow it.

But boy oh boy, this little adventure left its toll on me. Don't know why, but I ended up getting a little horny too. Not sure what caused it, but will I dare just let myself settle down, or should I do something about it?

Truth be told, I haven't really touched myself since being forced out of my home in Helgen. First, I was busy, then I was struck by sadness, and after that damned Argonian raped me… Damn it, I'm still reminded by it… I still can't believe my first time was stolen by a bandit… I used to experiment a lot at home, even when I wasn't really that excited, but now that I am feeling it, I just don't know what kind of emotions masturbating would make me feel…

Ahh, I should probably relieve myself anyway… I mean, I'm not depressed about my virginity being stolen or anything. I'll get over it… I just don't want to remember… Perhaps in time, happier experiences and memories will allow me to not be reminded of it every time I think of sex or pleasuring myself…

Heartfire, 9th, 4E 201

When me and Sofia got to Morthal, I kind of noticed that she too was a little heated up, and she had probably noticed my condition too. Neither of us have any idea what caused it. Venom in those spiders or something? Hard to imagine because they didn't bite us or anything. Many alchemical ingredients have subtle secondary properties in addition to their primary magical properties though, so it could be that some of the potions we had on us had been spoiled with an aphrodisiac effect. I'm glad it did in hindsight because Sofia had a surprising suggestion I can't believe I actually followed up with.

She admitted being into me, finding me attractive, saying she wouldn't mind experimenting with me. I've never even had a boy tell me such a thing, and it made my heart race like crazy. It was the first time anyone had ever said they find me attractive, and it just happened to be a girl, and my only real friend in this world. I admit that I can appreciate beauty and attractiveness in my own sex, but never did I think I would actually want to explore the part of me who's a little curious. Sofia's admission made me kind of want it though, because I can't deny she's cute.

We got ourselves a nice, quiet little room downstairs in the cellar and unpacked our stuff, intending to get at it immediately. As soon as we both settled down face to face on the bed though, both on our knees, we wondered what to even do. How do two girls have sex with each other was the pressing question. Personally, I found the idea of pussy-on-pussy contact sounding a little clumsy. She agreed, but anyway… That's not what we started with anyway. Instead, we decided that touching each other with hands and tasting each other would be for the best.

Getting naked was the first step. Didn't want to leave anything on. At first, we both took our armor off, but when we got to our undergarments, like the small camisole I wore under my leather, she wanted to finally get intimate with me. She got close to me and grabbed onto my shirt, pushing her palm against my chest underneath the shirt. It shocked me, but it felt pleasant to be touched like that. I just raised my arms and let her undress me completely. The way she stared at my chest made my heart pump, and I just couldn't help but cover my nipples behind my palms though. I was just so embarrassed at that moment, but all she did was giggle, saying that there's no need for me to be ashamed. After all, her chest is just as flat as mine, so I shouldn't be ashamed of my childish figure. I got to see her bare nipples as well immediately after that, and sure enough, she really is just as flat as I am.

Sofia softly pushed my back towards the bed and said that there's something that she'd really love to try. She's no stranger to giving oral to men, but never had she had an opportunity to even look at a fellow girl up close. She really, really wanted to take a good look and my vagina. So, she displaced my panties, and with embarrassment painted all over my face, I spread my legs for her. She went on further to touch me, spread my pussy up, and stare intensely at me. Her stare, along with her blush, was so cute, and it honestly made it feel a little easier for me as well. Her gaze alone made me feel attractive and wanted, which felt amazing.

She then pushed her mouth against my crotch, all while staring me straight in the eyes. Just that little warm, slightly wet touch of her lips against mine, it felt even more incredible than her fingers. She tasted me with her tongue, eating me out properly with her lips too, and I instinctively just moaned. I couldn't believe it, so I just hid my mouth underneath my hand. It felt so much more intense than anything I had ever achieved pleasuring myself. Even that damn bandit, even though he had a dick and all, even that was nothing like what Sofia made me experience. Was she really that good, or was it just because I was horny anyway?

I wanted to give her some love too, but she wasn't gonna let me. She had a good hold of my thighs and my hip, and she just kept licking and smooching me without letting go. I tossed my waist and my hip, raised my lower back from the sheets from her intense play, reacting so wild you could imagine I was already reaching my climax, and I just let my voice out. I tried to control myself to an extent because I wasn't sure how far my voice was gonna carry or if there were even any other occupants downstairs, but I'm fairly sure nobody upstairs could hear. And Sofia just looked at me with that playful glee in her eyes. I could tell she was smiling just by looking at her eyes, but she did not say a word, not even though I called her by her name and complimented her. I guess she also liked it when I was begging her to make me come. I had never wanted to come so badly. She made sure to make me feel so damn amazing all the way to the end.

We both wanted to swap after that. She spread herself up for me in the exact same position while I got to see a sight up close I've never seen before, even though she's not that different from me. Sure, you can get a good feel of what your privates feel like just by touching them, but to look at girl's genitals up close, it just ain't that easy by yourself. Everything's so close to each other, everything's so small. The tip of my tongue could touch her hole and with one soft motion move up to flicker her clitoral hood, and that little hole was so small and tight too. So soft too… It's crazy to think how stretchy that area is though…

I'm not sure if I did a good job, but for what it's worth she did like what I was giving her, so I probably wasn't terrible, and by the time I had satisfied her desire for the first time, I was feeling it in my crotch again. Something about hearing her moan and battle against her intense urge to scream my name in pleasure just made me hornier than I had been even before we even started. I was really looking forward to it too because, based on the little experience we'd had together, I definitely enjoy taking more than giving.

We were both on our backs, sitting with legs spread, and we moved a bit closer to each other. I mentioned that the idea of our genitals touching sounded a little clumsy, but once we actually tried it, it was surprisingly easy and very intimate indeed. Neither of us was really sure how to proceed from there though… Should we have just rubbed each other out? Not sure… This is all so new to me, but at the same time, what we did was all about experimenting. We both leaned a bit towards each other, touching each other as if looking to hug, but we did not embrace each other quite just yet. We both admitted to never having kissed anybody on the lips before. For some reason, I didn't mind it being her, although to be perfectly honest, I never imagined my first kiss to be with another girl. We just sat there kissing each other for a while, hugging and just cuddling. We both agreed that we wanted to play more with each other's privates, although we wanted to use our hands more this time. Or, she did, at least. I asked if she wanted me to use my fingers as well, and although she said she was fine with it, she said she's not sure if she can handle more than just one finger. She said she's anxious and would prefer me just continuing to lick her.

I got to be on the bottom while she sat on top of me, facing the opposite direction. I think she called it six nine or something… Not sure why… Is it because the numbers look similar, but one is upside down? She seems to know a lot more about sex than I do, not that I mind. I was happy to be taught by her.

The position was probably a little difficult and clumsy for me, but with her butt so close to my face, it was fairly easy for me to spread her open and lick her once more. I wanted to respect her wishes, so I just licked her and touched her outer parts. Me? I was fully up for her sticking up her fingers inside. She started with just one finger, asking if it hurt at all. Well, it didn't… I actually asked her to try two, and although she seemed hesitant, it ended up feeling much better. She stuck her middle- and ring fingers into me together and let them dig into my insides a little, even spreading them up a little. Everything she did felt amazing to that point alone, but I wanted her to do me harder. I got my wish when she introduced her mouth to the play as well, using her tongue to play with my clitoris. All that made me come faster than I could make her, which made me just grab onto her body harder with my hands. It was hard to concentrate with my body spasming in pleasure, but I didn't stop giving my best to her in return. She didn't relent either, and playing with my body all the way through my climax was just something else. It was honestly the best, it was draining my breath away, but it was just so much fun!

I came for the third time together with her, and only this was enough to make her give up. Not only did it feel just as great the third time physically, but it also made my heart feel good too because coming together with her just made it feel like we had this kind of special connection. Well, not literally, but I thought it was a little more romantic if that's the right word… Nevermind that, but it was also the first time I had ever climaxed more than once in one day. Yeah, I always thought that while masturbating and experimenting alone, once should be more than enough… And sure, while it was, it's not like coming twice or thrice makes the subsequent orgasms feel any less great. It might be a different story alone though… Not sure…

Anyway, that was the end of it. We were both tired and ready to rest. I personally was too damn tired to even raise my back from the sheets, not just out of breath but maybe a little sweaty too, but it didn't bother Sofia. She just laid on top of me, belly to belly, chest to chest, and she pressed both her palms against mine. Our fingers intertwined as we held each other's hands, and we kissed. Not just once, but at least for solid two minutes, just kissing and complimenting each other.

We thanked each other for the experiences and promised that it would not be the last time we did something of sorts, but I think we both agree… We're not lovers… We could be, maybe, who knows… I don't want our friendship to suffer as the result of this or for it to change for something else… Perhaps that's inevitable. Maybe our friendship has already turned into something else because of this… I personally can't imagine having a girlfriend, but at least I can have a special friend like her who just happens to be a girl. I hope she feels the same.

Lastly, on a different note, we're both hoping to make it to Riverwood from here in one day. It's a long walk, but who knows, if the weather's nice and we don't run into trouble, we can cross the tundra peacefully.

Heartfire, 10th, 4E 201

I made it back to Riverwood late in the evening and rented the attic room as instructed in the letter that was in the tomb in horn's place. Well, turned out, it was the innkeeper Delphine who had taken the horn from right under my nose. Was she there with me, or was she just ahead of me? She gave me the horn pretty much right away, which was good news for me. She also wanted to talk, so I thought I'd at least hear her out.

Well, she didn't have much to tell me… Or rather, she was probably not willing to tell me some parts. She said that she's been looking for someone like me, a Dragonborn, but she didn't believe I'm one. It sounded like she was the one making demands, which I do not believe she's in the position to make, considering that she was the one who was looking for me in the first place. Like, is she dumb? It sounds so counterproductive. Why go through the trouble of retrieving the horn yourself if you don't even believe that the person you're looking for really is who you're looking for? Her attitude was kind of pissing me off, so I tried to demonstrate my powers by actually using my voice. Even that didn't change her mind! What's wrong with her!? I don't see any reason to work with her. If she truly needs me as much as she claims she does, she'll come crawling to me. If not, she can kiss my help goodbye as far as I'm concerned. I can't trust her if she can't trust me.

Besides, now I have the horn.

Sofia and I decided to split up for the remainder of the day. We were initially planning on leaving to Whiterun tomorrow but decided to have some time off for personal work. She had some unfinished business in Whiterun, so I'll be staying here for a night alone.

Quickly after being left alone, I met my good friend Gorr. He was happy to see me back in Riverwood, and I talked about how much stronger I've gotten. He seems really proud of me, saying that I've got all the makings of an amazing adventurer, saying that I could make it far if I take care of myself while I'm "still a cub" and don't do anything foolhardy. His praise made me happy, and yes, I do intend to stay out of unnecessary trouble. I'm still a kid, so I've got my limits… But yeah, I know I'm talented.

We ended up talking about our adventures at length, and I… I kind of ended up falling for him a little I guess. I guess he saw this in me as well…

We ended up in private, with me giving him a blowjob. It just kind of happened. I'm not even sure how we got to that point, not that I minded. He kind of lured me into it, I was hesitant at first, but at the same time, I was just so damn curious in trying it. Sofia had already done this as well to some men, although she did it for money. I did this to Gorr just for the fun of it.

I've peeked on some boys in Helgen, and then there was that bloody Argonian as well, but I've never actually seen a penis close-up before with my very own eyes, especially not an erect one. Not a brown one either. His was a really big one, bigger than I expected. Dicks are kind of fascinating, aren't they? One moment they're soft and squishy, then they grow up to be these rock-hard giant pokers. They don't smell anything like my own private parts either. I think I quite like how dicks smell, in fact.

I mostly just used my tongue and my lips as taking it into my mouth was so difficult. It was way too big to fit fully. He said it feels the best just under his glans, and since I was more than capable of wrapping my lips around that part, I was more than happy to focus my sucking on just his tip. I had my hands on it constantly too, I even gave his balls a nice smooch and a suck. He kept calling me his little bitch, but he didn't say it like he was trying to offend me or anything. I guess he meant it as a compliment, or at least a good thing? He did compliment me too, saying that I give good head for an amateur.

He was a little rough at the end, maybe even scary. He really wanted to cum inside my mouth, so he held his palm to the back of my head and prevented me from pulling my head back so he could shoot it all inside. He forced me to swallow every last drop of his semen. I expected to be overwhelmed or choke, but it was nowhere near as bad as I feared. In fact, when he finished his load on top of my tongue and on my palate, I felt really great about having done all that. Never have I seen such pleasure in man's face, not even on the face of my father who loved me so much. It tasted kind of nice as well. A little bitter, yes, but not in a bad way.

Makes me wonder… Was doing dirty things his intention with me all along? I… I think I like the idea of being desired… Not only by Sofia, but by adult men as well. Makes me feel better about myself after everything I've gone through. Not too many people seem that interested in little kids though, so I don't have that many suitors, and those who are might only want to use me for their advantage, for their own nefarious needs. It's wonderful that Gorr isn't like that. He's fortunately a good person who has my best interest and happiness in his heart.

Maybe being a little naughty isn't a bad thing at all. Yeah, I've always been curious about trying all kinds of dirty things but taking action beyond just self-pleasure used to be too extreme of a thought for me. Now, I've already had passionate sex with a girl my age, and now I sucked an adult man's penis too, both out of my free will. I liked both these acts really much, so… Maybe all of this is fine, even though I'm probably too young in most people's opinion. My parents would definitely be against me doing anything dirty. They would be mortified to hear their sweet baby girl likes getting down and dirty at the age of ten. My father especially told me to be careful around strangers, told me to steer clear of any man who made me feel uncomfortable, but since it's fun, what's the harm? I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. I can be careful and still be a little naughty, right?

We'll start our journey to High Hrothgar tomorrow after I meet up with Sofia in Whiterun, but it'll probably take some time, and we'll probably need to rest in Ivarstead again. From there… Who knows what? I'm not interested in whatever Delphine has in store for me, so I guess I'll just find my own path?

Heartfire, 11th, 4E 201

I may not be quite a greybeard or even want to be, but it seems like they are pleased enough with me to accept me into their little circle and help me grow in power. They formally recognize me as a Dragonborn and even taught me a new word of power. I can actually now shout at people with such force that I send them flying!

But this is merely a fraction of what I will become in the future. There's so much to the language of the Dragons, so many words of powers I could use to my advantage, and absorbing power from the Dragons will make me stronger too. I still don't know what my destiny is, but I want to grow. With vampirism, I have to pay with weaknesses for the strength it provides me, but being a Dragonborn comes without any drawbacks, so this unique talent I have, this gift, this weapon, it's the best tool I have to defend myself. I know I'm tiny, I know I'm weak, I can't even cast spells, but as long as I have the voice, I can grow in leaps and bounds.

The only worry I have in regards to being a Dragonborn is attention. Everyone here in Skyrim is talking about the return of the Dragonborn, and they're all gossiping and sharing rumors about how she's some young girl. There are false rumors as well… So who knows, maybe I can avoid unwanted attention.

These old men want me to study and grow independently and have no more tasks for me. They are willing to tell me locations of ancient power and where to locate them, but that's as far as they're willing to help me. The rest is up to me. So be it. I'm not sure if I want to make this my priority number one yet, but it does give my adventure a new meaning.

I also learned of a way to learn alternative meanings for the words of power I already know of, a handy tool to say at the very least. I already knew words from four different shouts beforehand. Well, now I can also summon earthquakes and fireballs from the sky! They may be weak, but it's so crazy! I bet the school of Destruction doesn't teach you how to create a localized earthquake!

Well, I've been studying and meditating for a long time, so it's too late to return to the nearest inn. Sofia was actually allowed inside, so we'll just sleep here and plan our next adventure tomorrow morning. What this adventure is, I do not know yet. I don't even know where we'll be going, but I hope it'll at least be exciting.

• 3rd Journal - Friends and Enemies