TVR/Brian Johnson/Garden/Kitchen

"You'll get us both sacked," Pam says when you go back to the kitchen.

"Don't worry. those two won't say nuffin. They've been visiting good old Uncle Jim."

"Fuckin hell! Is there any girl in this village Jim hasn't fucked" Pam says. "Of course, they've been at it themselves for ages so I guess it's no surprise."

"You mean that little bugger has been fucking his sister and you didn't tell me? How long have they been at it?"

"Quite a while. They've got over the first flush now, anyway. Judging by the state of her knickers, she was going to school most every day with a cunt full of her brother's cream. But these days, not so much - they save it for the weekends."

"All I got was a mouth job. If I'd known, I would have fucked her good."

Your cock has swelled again as you think about the cute nine-year-old. "Where's her ladyship now," you ask.

"It's her day for sending randy old gits like you to chokey," she says. "Though it's mostly motorists and shop-lifters these days from what she says." She looks round to see that you've got your stiff cock out. "I s'pose you want me to take care of that for you now?"

She hands you a block of butter, hitches her dress up to her waist and bends forward over the kitchen table. You look at her fat bum and your cock twitches in anticipation. "Come on, we don't got all day," she says, reaching round and pulling her arse-cheeks apart to reveal the brown hole.

You scoop some butter onto a couple of fingers and slide them in, making her moan. Then you grease up your cock and press it against her arsehole. Gripping her hips firmly, you push forward and slowly slide your cock into her buttered arse. As it slips in, you give her cheek a hard slap, leaving a clear red handprint. "You gonna get a move on," she says, pushing back so your entire cock is out of sight and your belly pressed against her fat bum.

Five minutes later, you use a tea towel to wipe yourself, before sitting down at the table. "Any chance of a cuppa," you ask, and dodge the wet dishcloth she throws.

"When's this party then," she says as she plonks a mug in front of you.

"Little Molly's birthday's in a couple of weeks, so probably around then."

• Fast forward to the party