JoS/Henriette/26th Journal - A Date with Destiny, pt. 1

Sun's Dawn, 13th, 4E 203

I have delayed this far enough, but no more. It's a mighty task and I've never felt more ready. Best just get it over with as soon as possible.

I traveled to Whiterun and requested to speak with Jarl Balgruuf once again. Luckily for me, despite the fact that he was in the middle of a very busy day, he found few minutes to spare for me. I reminded him of the plan I have, but his answer remains the same. This time it seems that his worries aren't linked to mere conjecture anymore.

"I know for a fact that Ulfric wants this city for himself", he told me. "There's been talk of how he's been going forward with the plan, about how he's been gathering men. He's just waiting for me to make the wrong move."

I know that he's aligned with the Empire himself, although reluctantly. He would prefer to stay neutral probably, but life just ain't always fair. I asked him about it, about why wouldn't he ask for the Empire's soldiers to protect the city against an attack? The question seemed to infuriate him.

"No! Absolutely not!" he refused. He couldn't even give me a straight answer to why. I feel like he's too proud to accept help, but why? I don't understand it.

Now I could just wait for Ulfric to be done with his attack, but that carries a huge risk of new Jarl being raised to the throne of Dragonsreach, and there's no guarantee I would get help from whoever that could be. As for Imperials, well… Balgruuf doesn't want their help, and honestly, I'm not too keen on the idea of helping them either. I want nothing to do with this war, I don't want any allegiance to the Empire or the Stormcloaks.

I still wasn't taking "no" for an answer though. All ideas were on the table for me, and I was willing to voice them all out no matter how outrageous they might sound. So, I suggested one of my ideas. "What if I could convince Ulfric to not attack?" I know that's what I said but I really, really didn't even have a slightest clue how I could go on about such a plan. I just blurted it out like a dumbass! Surprisingly though, my suggestion made Balgruuf's face soften.

"Wait, that almost makes sense. If you could make the parties agree to peace, agree to a truce, if we didn't have to worry about the enemy waiting for us to make a wrong move…"

That's about how the discussion went. He suggested that I should consult the Greybeards about hosting a peace council. Both sides respect those old men on the mountain, and their lack of affiliation in this war and politics in general would make them perfect moderators. After confirming with Jarl once more about what he wants me to do and what he suggested, I agreed to bring the issue up with the Greybeards. It's been a long while since I've walked up the mountain anyway. I should really go talk to Paarthurnax about Blades wanting me to kill him too, just to hear his opinion on the matter.

Sun's Dawn, 15th, 4E 203

I ventured up the sacred mountain alone to do my business there; meditate, talk with Paarthurnax, enjoy the view from the highest peak on Tamriel… I'm now more convinced than ever that this Dragon deserves to live, but I don't want to dwell too much on that. It wasn't something that I ever considered of doing, but I just had to talk about it to my scaled mentor. I mean, he's evil by nature, but I'm arguably a worse person than he is.

I'm now home, but only for a brief moment before I head to Windhelm after sunset. That's right, the Greybeards agreed to my suggestion. They said that they feel like they shouldn't have, but that they also feel like they have a duty to help me in this mission because Paarthurnax has agreed and decided to help me. "If this is what you think will help, we will help you", Arngeir said.

I won't dwell too long on this either, as there's not much else to talk about. Honestly, everything's working out pretty well so far. I hope convincing Ulfric and Tullius will be as easy as convincing the Greybeards was. That's probably an empty hope though. Like Arngeir said, the men of war can be stubborn.

Sun's Dawn, 17th, 4E 203

My roundtrip to Windhelm ended up being an interesting one. I arrived early, way before sunrise, so I decided to spend some time wandering around the quiet city. Because of this one decision I made, this visit ended up becoming a lot more eventful than I initially intended.

I don't feel like the most welcome lass in that city, truth be told. Sure, I resemble human just as much as the majority population of Nords do, but I'm still clearly a Breton. I'm not sure how much they approve of my partly elven ancestry, no matter how many tens of generations into the past you'd even have to find any living Direnni elves who might've been my ancient fathers and mothers, but at the same time, I wouldn't be surprised if I got chewed by some Nord here about how I'm not welcome. Luckily I'm not that well-known by the guards here, so I can walk around in relative peace. I did get some weird looks from few of them though, but that might've also been due to them seeing a child walking around at night.

While traveling the empty streets, I came across an interesting sight, an old man tailing after a young woman who I think I saw earlier working a night shift at the stables when I entered the city. This man is called Calixto, and he owns some stupid junk museum near the Grey Quarter. What I found out is that he's the rumored murderer that's behind all these murders happening in this city. He killed that poor woman in cold blood. Oh my, how many victims has this guy had already, and he still hasn't been caught? Moreover, he seriously didn't see me tailing him?

I decided it would be fun to get involved and ask him about what naughty things he's been up to in secret. I did so, later today, but I'll try to keep my entry chronological, so save that thought for now.

I then decided to visit the inn. Not the Candlehearth Inn this time though, because despite the fact that it's one of my favorite inns in all of Skyrim, I sometimes want to experience new things. So, I headed straight for the New Gnisis Cornerclub. Honestly, I was motivated by that backroom Skooma Den that by some miracle's chance manages to operate in this city without being raided to the ground by the local guards. I was after some purifying tea to treat my addiction, and I did go buy a bottle of it eventually, but not before I got caught up in something else.

Before I could even get in, I noticed the innkeeper throwing one of his customers out. It was a little bit strange seeing a Dark Elf throwing out his kinsman while saying his kind aren't wanted here. My eyes met with this guy who was just thrown out, and I actually recognized him. Not by name, but by face.

He used to be part of that Bandit clan I sort of befriended at that tower east of Whiterun. He was kind of a low-ranking person so I never really got to know him too well, which in a sense is really weird. Like, I've had sex with him yet I didn't even know his name before today. He has a long and complicated name, so he only goes by the name Azzy. He's a son of refugees from Mournhold, but born and raised in Skyrim. He claims that his grandfather was an Ordinator with House Indoril, while his father was the actual immigrant who was brought to Skyrim after the city was sacked by invading Argonians. Since his father was a poor lad and an alcoholic, Azzy himself didn't fare much better and has been involved with crime his entire life. Hence also the reason why "his kind" aren't welcome here at the Cornerclub.

We exchanged few more words and jokes before I got around asking him, what happened to the old group? He said that they had split up after getting into a disagreement. It started as something really petty, but became reason enough for the whole clan to feud, essentially over nothing. He didn't want to get into details, but it was a peaceful split, or so he at least thinks… Something could've happened afterwards, but he doesn't care anymore. That's in the past and he wants to move on from the life of banditry.

"I was hoping to work here", he said. "I can fight, so I thought I'd make for a good Bouncer." The problem was his background, and his Skooma addiction. The guys working here need their employees to have a clean criminal record, which is why he was promptly shown the door. Since it didn't work out for him, I suggested him some alternative options. If he doesn't want to be a Bandit, then what about Thieves Guild? There are few ex Bandits there, so he could be accepted as well. He said he'd take me by my advice and thanked me. After that, we went separate ways.

As the morning was dawning, it was time for me to seek audience with Jarl Ulfric himself.

I gained entry to the castle without issues. He didn't recognize me, he didn't know me, and he had no idea what some little girl was doing in his mighty halls either, but he also saw the determination in my blood-red eyes. He told me that I must either be very brave, or very foolish, and asked me to state my reasons for this visit, for he's a busy man and has no time for foolishness or children's games. So, I spoke my intentions.

It didn't look like he believed me at first, but he was taking it seriously. He sat down and stayed quiet for what felt like a long time, after which he decided that he wants to hear more, and suggested for me to sit down for me on the breakfast table. That's what we did.

He stated that he has immense respect for the Greybeards, considering that he was once taught the Voice by them himself. Huh, I didn't know that. Okay, I knew he knows how to use the voice, but I had no idea that he was supposed to become a Greybeard himself. I just cannot imagine him as one. Secondly, he recognizes the Dragons - namely Alduin - as a bigger threat than the Empire itself, so he liked the idea of a peace council. He was also very curious of me after learning that I'm a Dragonborn.

I learned a lot about him too. Apparently he was at Helgen when it was attacked by the Dragon, about to be executed. He didn't go into detail about how he got into that situation, but it's clear that he survived from that and even escaped the town. I told him that I used to live in Helgen with my family, before they all died in the attack. I was saved by a strange fluke chance because of being kidnapped. I didn't say "by Vampires", because I didn't want to give him any hints about my Vampirism to him. He asked about my family, about my parents, about my beliefs too, who I support in the war, all that stuff. I told him that my mother was a Breton and my father was a Nord. I think they both were apolitical and would hate to see this land ravaged in this war, but my father was definitely a believer in Talos, which would probably make him an ally of Stormcloaks. Me and my mother? Don't care.

"That's a shame", he commented. "I could use someone like you, but I can't force you."

I may be of foreign blood and that I may still be young and small, but he said he has a feeling I'm a "true daughter of Skyrim". Well, I'm not so sure about that… I hold no allegiance to this land, but of course I didn't want to tell him that. I'm just glad I got him to agree after a long discussion.

Oh, and Calixto…

He must've had himself a sleepless night after what he had done, because he just looked some damn tired when I saw him. I knocked the door of his museum and asked him, is he willing to give me a tour. For a low price of just ten gold Septim, yes he was. After he closed the door though, I said I was just joking about the tour and told him that I know he's the murderer what they call "the Butcher". I also said that his secret is safe with me as long as the secret of me being a Vampire is safe with him, as I showed him my pointy teeth. He seemed really distressed about what was going on for a moment and even had his hand on his hip, bearing hilt of the sword he was wielding. I told him that we won't need weapons… Just one wrong move and I start screaming my lungs out. There are plenty of guards outside and I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate an adult man trying to assault a child.

"You snake", he said, and relaxed his arm, asking what I want.

I told him that I just want to talk and have some fun, and since I'm not too clean myself, I'm simply curious about his motives and such. Why target women, for example, and why leave those nasty carvings on their corpses? Well, his motivations make sense. I'm not saying I endorse what he's doing, but at least he has a motive.

He used to have a sister he used to travel across Tamriel with. They mostly did so because of being shunned and disowned by their parents, who found their relationship to be obscene and disgusting. That's right, he and his sister were lovers, had been since they were little children. Sadly, his sister is now dead. It's one of the reasons why he has settled down here in Windhelm. He loved his sister more than anything else in the world, she was the light of his life, the only woman he's ever loved. Without her to travel with, he sees no point. He also asked me, am I also one of those people who would shun him for feeling love towards his sister? Honestly and truthfully, I'm not. Love is love no matter who it's between… Brother and sister, mother and son, a child and an adult… It's all fair game as long as everyone's having fun.

That being said, if my brother or my father were still alive, I wouldn't see them as potential romantic partners. Just… No, just no… I love them both but not in that way…

Next, he admitted to being a necromancer. He got interested in it while traveling in Cyrodiil, a province with a rich history in now forbidden and illegal practice. Journeying through Ayleid ruins and discovering parts of their history got him interested in flesh magic, and since he's now settled down, he devotes some of his time to studying it. He says that his ultimate goal and a dream is to resurrect his sister, bring her back to life using these long-lost techniques of Heartland Elves. For him, it's the only way he can ever be reunited with his sister again.

Damn it, why do I have to meet with all these criminals that have understandable motives? First Sinding, now him. Ah well, I promised him that his secret will be with me. I won't help him with his quest though… Except maybe by not revealing his identity to the guards. As long as he doesn't come after me, we don't have a problem. That's unlikely, as he needs flesh from adults, and since I'm undead.

After that encounter, I was finally able to leave Windhelm. I have a long day of non-stop travel ahead of me tomorrow. My next mission is to get Tullius to agree, and I have a feeling it won't be as easy.

Sun's Dawn, 19th, 4E 203

I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I had no idea how hard of a time I would truly have. Like come on, I damn near had myself imprisoned just approaching Castle Dour! There are too many guards who recognize me in this damn city, and the fact that I spent some time behind bars not long ago didn't help either. I thought there was no way of me getting in, because I was banned from entering the castle, but a woman called Rikke actually came outside to see what the commotion was about. She was luckily willing to hear me out.

I told her that I'm here on important business, told her exactly why I'm here. I said I need to speak to Tullius directly and I wouldn't care if they had to lead me to him at the end of a blade or in chains. I would cause no trouble. That's basically what ended up happening.

"Not you again", Tullius said with a sour look on his face. "Up to no good again, are we?"

I tried explaining to him that the last time I was imprisoned was simply a huge misunderstanding and the fact that I've gained my freedom should be proof enough. He didn't end up questioning me on that, because honestly, he didn't know the details of me being imprisoned either. Still, he was being very wary of me, quoting the string of high-profile assassinations that took place recently. The guards are still on the look-out and according to him, the city is in chaos, so he really didn't have the patience or the energy to deal with me. So, he showed me the door.

"Wait", I pleaded. I explained that I'm here on the behalf of the Greybeards, and that I'm the Dragonborn. I talked about my plan to trap a dragon in Dragonsearch, and that it won't be happening as long as there's a war raging, so a temporary peace treaty should be negotiated. Did he believe me? Nope! He laughed at my face and told me to be thrown out from the castle immediately.

I don't like they idea of all these people knowing about my gift, but I had no choice but to prove it to him. Luckily Tullius is a smart man. My Thu'um convinced him in mere seconds, which also resulted in him demanding me to be released at once. Guards didn't bother me at all after that.

After offering me his most sincere apologies, he demanded details from me. Since Ulfric had already agreed to the council as well, there was no reason for Tullius to refuse Greybeard's summons either. "It would make the Empire look bad for us to refuse then", he replied. "Very well, I will come to this peace council then."

After that, I left out of my own volition. All that's left is for me to arrange the meeting with the Greybeards. I doubt we'll be able to get everyone gathered at such a short notice, but thankfully couriers exist. I'm just glad this worked out somehow. I'm now beat though… I think I'll rest in the inn for a bit before heading home. Me and Shadowmere have a long ride ahead of us, and I want to do it in one night.

First Seed, 3rd, 4E 203

I haven't written lately. I've just been staying at home, waiting for the next move to happen, gathering strength, training, gathering supplies… All of that waiting has gone into good use, because now I have a fight of the lifetime ahead of me. I feel more ready than ever.

I bid all my precious friends goodbye and told them to keep the house safe and clean in my absence. I promised that I'd return home safe and sound, and then hugged them all one by one. Sofia, Serana, Sissel and Aliya, can't wait to get home and tell you all about how I killed Alduin.

The peace council is also finally behind us. I won't bore you with all the details about who was there, who wasn't, about all the drama and shouting, both sides accusing the other side of making ridiculous and unfair demands… Having a lot of people who disagree with each other gathered at one table never turns out well. Still, they reached a resolution after hours of discussion. Thank the gods for that.

Basically, the terms negotiated were for the Reach and the Falkreath to fall under Stormcloak control at the cost of the Rift falling under Imperial Control. You might think that the deal favors Stormcloaks more as they gain more land, but it actually isn't that simple. The trade was a pretty even one if you ask me.

The Reach obviously means a lot to Ulfric. After the great war, he became sort of a heroic figure there due to the Markarth Incident, when he took the city from the Forsworn by force. I don't care too much for this, but this means that the Silver-Bloods control Markarth directly, which is something I don't like at all. Those guys hate my guts, and I hate them back. At least I won't have to worry about getting face to face with the Thalmor in that city anymore with them being pushed out from the city. One additional interesting development that could also come out from this is the escalation of the war between the Silver-Bloods and the Forsworn. They are sworn enemies, and Madanach is still out there. I'm sure that the new jarl is hungry for revenge.

Falkreath is a much smaller hold with only the fraction of the population, but the land is more arable. Besides, it falling under Stormcloak rule also cuts off one important route Imperials use to supply goods to Skyrim from Cyrodiil. It wouldn't surprise me at all if Imperials would try to retake the hold by force, something that I believe they would be capable of.

Also, since the Empire gain the Rift, they gain a new, equally good trade-route between Cyrodiil and Skyrim. In fact, it might actually be better, as it also offers them a strategic location would they ever wish to invade Windhelm. As for me, personally, Riften falling under Imperial rule is something that actually in a strange way benefits me, but it also comes with a huge downside.

The family that is rising to power there are the Black-Briars, thanks to their connections to the Empire. Considering that Maven - now Jarl of Riften - is pretty much the most important figure when it comes to ensuring the Thieves Guild's protection in Riften, that's about the biggest possible favor I could've done to Brynjolf, Delvin and Vex. They must be SO delighted, not to mention that Maven might actually be happy with me for once. Me and Maven already have a good relationship, as I've worked for her before, and done good work for her. I've done everyone a big favor here, except maybe for the common folk of Riften. They're not going to appreciate a corrupt criminal aligned with Thieves Guild leading them directly.

What's this downside I talked about then? Well, there's no question that the Thalmor presence in the Rift will increase. This is significant because I actually live in the Rift. Sure, I live in the middle of nowhere, but that hasn't stopped those jerks from trying to fuck me up.

Either way, those are the full terms. I also met with Delphine and Esbern who had invited themselves to the council without anyone's approval, but we didn't actually end up talking too much. I just reminded them that Paarthurnax gets to live and that my allegiance won't change no matter what, to which Esbern said nothing, and Delphine said, "you're making a huge mistake".

Kill him yourself if you care about it so much, you cowards.

I then traveled to Whiterun with the Jarl and his housecarl. Tomorrow is going to be a huge day. We will trap a dragon in Dragonsreach and hopefully learn of where Alduin has been hiding for this past year or so. It's actually very surprising that he has completely disappeared from Tamriel. Is he actually scared? Could the world-eater himself be shaking in his pants because he knows he's going to lose to me, AGAIN? Hahahaha, that's a funny thought!

I will hopefully embark on a journey to hunt him down for good. I'm super nervous, but I also feel like I'm ready. No, I know I'm ready. I've grown so much, I'm more powerful than the last time I met face to face with him. I can't wait to devour his soul…

• 27th Journal - A Date with Destiny, pt. 2