JoS/Henriette/17th Journal - Punishment

Sun's Height, 9th, 4E 202

Mercer gave me one of the most bizarre and contradictory rants I've ever heard. He sounded like he was saying it must be me because I've done such a good job with all my previous jobs so far, but at the same time he kept reminding how I'm worthless, how much I owe him and how much trouble I've caused him. Which is it? Have I helped you or have I caused you trouble?

So anyway, he has figured out who's the person who sold the Goldenglow Estate is. Buyer, he still doesn't know, but since we know the seller, we should be able to figure out the buyer as well. This buyer must be someone who has a problem with the guild, and the plan seems to be to drive a wedge between Maven and the guild.

Well, my job is clear now. I must go to Solitude, again, and find this man Mercer talked about. His name is Gulum-Ei, and he's an ex-insider for the guild within the East Empire Company. I must admit, I'm a little anxious about this one… This Argonian might know me, and who knows, he might be even in good terms with "him". I obviously can't tell this to Mercer, but I'm probably not the best suited for this job. But if I botch this, Maven will have my head. Or more likely my ass.

I also had to tell Sofia and Serana about my recent troubles and went into detail about what exactly might be at stake there. They were mighty worried and demanded that they must help me. I told them that I was incredibly happy to hear that, and I really was, but this is something I must do alone, at least for now. It's fine, I told them, as long as I can keep the situation from escalating. We decided to stop by at home and split up again from there. I will go to Solitude alone.

Talk about being stuck between rock and a hard place, my dear diary. I need to find out a way I can do this job without angering either side… I just fear that it's impossible.

Sun's Height, 10th, 4E 202

I should've known that Gulum-Ei knows me. He has seen me. He's not one of the men who had a chance to use me and that just made him hungrier.

He wasn't initially willing to even reveal if he has information, and I wasn't even sure how far I could push him. I was playing with fire, big time. In the end though, getting him to talk through the art of seduction was the right approach with him. But the problem was that I'm really, really not attracted into lizard people…

Well no matter, I did what I had to do. I gave him the blowjob he wasn't able to get from me the last time around, and I made him a really happy Argonian in doing so. I felt like I got further, but this still isn't enough. All he said was that such a deal exists, but if he's not giving out names, I'm out of luck. He also confirmed that the person is mostly doing this to anger Mercer, which proves his suspicions correct, which could be used to narrow the field of suspects… But that's it.

I'm not sure how to even get anything more out of him. There must be some other way, but I can't just threaten him… He would rat me out to "him", I fear, and that would be the end of me no doubt.

On the second though, would he really rat me out? What if I went to "him" first, maybe tried to expose Gulum-Ei for his dealings with the Thieves Guild in return, about how he's not exactly an honest actor? No, that wouldn't work either… No way… I don't know what kind of connections "he" himself has, so it could even backfire.

I'm unsure what's the best way forward here. For now, I think I will try to follow this bastard around and maybe, just maybe find out something that way. Maybe a lair or something. Who knows, he might have some documents of his own stored somewhere.

Sun's Height, 10th, 4E 202

I've got a whole lot of good news and a whole lot of bad news; many important developments have taken place and I'm going to be in trouble…

So, I followed Gulum-Ei to the warehouse, and I heard him have a chat with the big boss man. They talked about me, and now master knows I've been asking questions. He said that he will have to punish me harshly, and that he's not willing to have me disposed of and taken off the picture just yet. Well, that's good news for now, but the big takeaway from what he says is "yet", meaning that he intends to do so in the future. I might need some serious help from my friends on this one after all.

Still, this has turned into a messy situation, and I've all but confirmed that telling "him" about Gulum-Ei's dealings with various criminal organizations isn't going to help at all, considering that there's even more of those connections deeper in this warehouse.

So, when I followed this slimy lizard further, I found a passageway to a cave which is full of bandits. These bandits aren't your normal ones, that's for sure. These guys are rich, this place is packed with all kinds of exotic goods, illegal goods as well, even slaves. That Imperial must be involved in all of this, and Gulum-Ei no doubt has his hands deep in this one… Is it even safe for me to go along with this anymore?

I don't know if I can abandon this job. I'm sure that Mercer and Maven have their own connections to powerful mercenaries and bandits on their own right. Whatever I do here, I will be making enemies. The only question is, enemies out of who…

It could very well be possible that I'm going to be in hot water with the man in charge here no matter what I do. It's going to be a huge gamble, perhaps the biggest one of my life, but I will side with the Guild on this. At very least, if I make it out of here, even if the truth about me killing the Emperor escapes my master's lips and he becomes my enemy, at least I can hide with the Brotherhood. The Guild wouldn't want to associate themselves with me after that, as I'd be too dangerous to keep around… Maybe I could just go to Castle Volkihar to live there permanently.

One thing I could also do is just go back to Riften and report what I've found, saying it's all… Mercer wouldn't be satisfied though… No way…

Damn it all… Why did destiny have to lead me down this road? I want to go back to my old life when everything was easy.

Sun's Height, 11th, 4E 202

One thing I knew was that no matter what, killing anyone here was never an option. I had to sneak my way to Gulum-Ei. There were some close calls where I thought I was discovered, but nobody never started looking for me. I had a safe pathway to my target.

I snuck up to him and after finding him alone, I pressed the dagger to his neck. As scared as he was about dying, I was equally scared that this might lead to something undesirable and that it would end badly for me as well. However, the fact that his life was in my hands and the fact that he's terrified of dying gave me much room to negotiate… I told him that I'm here just for one thing, and that one thing is name. I told him that I need this, I really need this. I practically begged him, saying that I don't want to hurt him or anyone else, but if I won't be getting my answer, I will have to. I said I have both Mercer and Maven backing me on this too, and I think that worked, because that made him speak.

He gave me the name: Karliah. She used to be part of the Thieves Guild, and she murdered the previous guild master Gallus. She has some kind of vendetta against the guild.

There was one last thing for us to consider, the price of keeping his mouth shut. I asked him, whatever he wants I will do. I don't want this situation to escalate, no fucking way.

I never had chance to hear the terms before a man grabbed me from behind and tied my arms up. Then, Gulum-Ei spoke. He told me that I had a chance to end his life but I chose not to, and that he's thankful for that, but he also said he's not going to let my behavior go unpunished. He said he's going to make me pay by having me taste just some of what he puts his merchandise through.

Bandits were already circling around me, and they pushed me into some cage with nothing more than a bedroll in it. They cuffed my hands to the bars surrounding the cage and one by one fucked me from behind. Some of them just did my pussy, while other fancied my ass. It was nothing special, nothing heartbreaking, nothing I could handle, but it was exhausting nonetheless. The scariest experience was still ahead of me.

After the Bandits were done, they led an animal into the cage with me. It was a massive Sabrecat. They assured me that he's been well trained and won't rip me into shreds or try to eat me, but it didn't make the situation any less terrifying. That damned beast stuck its insanely huge member into me. I swear, it was so big I could feel my belly expand and bulge out simply from it trying to stick it down all the way to the hilt. And then, the pain, the damned pain from those barbs grinding and rubbing my insides. It overwhelmed my senses like nothing ever before and I was practically begging in tears for it to be over, but weirdly enough, I was able to deal with it. Eventually.

It felt like he did me for ages and when he eventually nutted, he came with more than I could've even imagined. I was left shaking and twitching, unable to support my body with my knees. The way that wild animal dominated me was nothing short of amazing. The men released me from my chains, and Gulum-Ei himself came inside the cage. He turned me around to my back and forced himself on top of me, raping my motionless body in a missionary position.

I was too tired to even raise my arms. He kept throwing derogatory comments my way all the way through his rape. He called me so many names, shaming me for my sluttiness and my lack of intelligence, all while he made me cum from his lizard dick. "You should stop pretending to be an adventurer, stupid bitch", he said. "Just throw it all away and embrace your destiny, you whore", he also said. "Little cunts like these are only good for fucking", he also said.

It was just a constant barrage of abuse… And after he shot his seed into me, he just downed a bottle of Skooma and started showing his still rock-hard prick back into my pussy. "You should've killed me when you had the chance, you brat", he said. "You're never gonna get a chance at my life again."

That went on for a while until he eventually gave up and got bored with me. He locked the door of the cage and left me alone…

It took me a while to recover, and even a longer while to collect myself and wipe out the tears. Yeah, it's been a while since I've cried the last time around… It's just… I'm in a no-win situation here, and it pains me… I fear these people, I truly do. They have too much power over me I know they're not afraid to exercise it. I don't know if this is it… Gulum-Ei may let me go, but what about that Imperial…

Sithis, if you hear me, if you still even accept this failure of a child to serve you, please give me strength…

Sun's Height, 12th, 4E 202

I didn't end up being held captive by Gulum-Ei for long, thankfully. He seemed very pissed when he came to me, probably because he was intending to keep me down here for a long time. Well, I'm just going to be handed from his hands to other ones, as apparently my "master" wants to see me, and since I couldn't be just handed over… He had to release me momentarily.

I'm gonna take few hours to rest before I do… Courier gave me the letter almost as soon as I entered Solitude, and I'm not expected to meet him immediately. I have three days. So, it's all good.

Sun's Height, 13th, 4E 202

Things proceeded exactly like they did the last time around. They blindfolded me, after which they took me to my master. He said in no uncertain terms that he's displeased with me and the fact that I've been sticking my nose into one of his underling's business, and that there will be a price for me to pay. He won't be tolerating insolence from me much longer, but he was at least willing to hear my side of the story and my motives about why I would do something like this.

I decided that it's for the best for me to just be honest. I told him that I've been affiliated with the Thieves Guild for the long time, longer than he's had me under his thumb, and that I was sent here by my superiors to investigate Gulum-Ei and find out who he had sold the Goldenglow Estate to. Thank Sithis it ended up being a good choice… I might've been able to weasel my way out of the worst-case scenario.

Well, he's fine with me pursuing my own goals and with me being aligned with any faction I wish… But he also reminded me of what he had told me. "When I told you to stay out of trouble", he said, "I really meant it." I'm playing a very dangerous game right now, he continued, and if it ends up costing me my freedom, if I get caught and end up being investigated for everything I've done, I'm going to be serving a life sentence, and there's no escape from that sentence like there was from Cidhna Mine. "Would you really want that", he asked me. "A Vampire, an immortal being, unchanging, an eternal child… A life that cannot end by natural means, being held captive for centuries to come… That's what at cost here, little girl."

He knows very well that I'm unable to just walk away from this life, not with the people I'm aligned with, not with a large part of Tamriel wanting me dead for the crime of simply existing as a Vampire. But I couldn't just say that… I was too afraid to… And he knows it anyway… The smirk on his face says it all… I wonder if this is actually what he's seeking…? He's praying for my inevitable fall… This must be like a game to him, I think…

He then said that last time around I got off the hook a little too easily, and that he has something in store for me later this evening. Until then, I've been ordered to just wait in his room.

Sun's Height, 14th, 4E 202

It was honestly and thoroughly a difficult experience, but in a different way than last time around. It was emotionally demanding, and it was embarrassing.

The guards came down to get me, stripped me naked, tied my arms, put me on a leash and actually walked me outside. Even though I was blindfolded, I could tell simply from the sounds and the voices of people that they were taking me to Solitude market district.

Shops had closed for the day and the stalls had emptied from the salesmen. Instead, they had pillories there. Yeah, I knew there were more than just one, because there were three young girls there besides me, all kids like me, presumably Gulum-Ei's merchandise. The guards then happily announced that they're offering cheap pussies for sale, just ten Septim to cum inside us. To think they could get away with whoring us out in the middle of the city!

It was only over once sun started rising again. I had passed out couple of times during the ordeal, but they always made sure to whip and slap me back awake. After it was time for me to return back into the Warehouse though, there was no more reason for keep me awake, so they let me finally pass out for good. I'm not even going to pretend I counted how many men I took that night… Fifty? Hundred? Actually, it was exactly 89… They told me that at the end while bragging how much money they made off me.

When I woke up, I woke up in my master's arms. He had already woken up a little prior to me, and he was stroking my head. He told me that there was one final thing left for me to do before he could release me back into the wild… And that thing was some drug-fueled fucking.

So, he made me drink some Skooma, and then he made me suck his dick. I mean, it was pretty incredible, not gonna lie… His dick scales pretty well with the rest of his body, meaning that he's packed like a horse. He lasted so long as well… I had to put in some real work to finally make him cum just once.

Then, he wanted to put me to work again, and he prompted me to mount his dick and ride it. So, I did, working my hips up and down as well as I could, while being completely smashed and intoxicated. I don't even remember half of it, but it felt so good, it was so much fun…

For the third and final round he took me standing up, but because he of course is so much taller and bigger than me, he was carrying me, holding me by my legs, almost like in some kind of weird choke hold. He kept jerking my body up and down his girthy meat in a neat package. He had made me feel good before as well, but he brought me to a squirting orgasm in this position, not just once, but twice. Or maybe I actually peed myself… I don't remember…

After that, he told me to leave in one hour. The problem was that I was still completely smashed, didn't exactly afford get arrested for it… Luckily I made it to Morthal safely to rest and recover…

I don't know if I can ever show my face around in Solitude again. I mean, some of the 89 men probably were just regular citizens, or beggars. Sure, I was blindfolded, but this damn mark on my stomach makes me easy to recognize…

Well, at the end though, I still have my freedom. A job well done I suppose? Well, at least better than I expected. I continue to stay free for a while longer.

Sun's Height, 15th, 4E 202

For the first time ever, it seems like Mercer was happy with me doing a job right, but that doesn't mean he was happy with the news I brought him. He seemed both angry and scared when I uttered the name "Karliah", but he also stressed that we must act to track her down. Gulum-Ei had told me where she might be, but only in a form of a riddle. Mercer could interpret the riddle though, and so we both will be heading to Snow Veil Sanctum. It'll be just the two of us, but he insists it's fine. Neither of us would be enough to face Karliah alone, but together, we can kill her for sure.

Mercer has been waiting for this revenge for years, so it must feel really good for him to finally extract it… I hope that after helping him deal with this, I can finally wash my hands off of this mess.

Sun's Height, 17th, 4E 202

It wouldn't be my life without some roadblocks coming my way and everything I worked for being reduced down to ashes as I end up being a victim of betrayal. What's up with all these powerful leaders trying to fuck me over? First it was Astrid, now it's Mercer… I guess you could also count Harkon? Technically, it was me who betrayed him in the end, but no doubt he would've done the same to me. The point is, I should know better to not trust leaders of criminal organizations by now.

We braved through the trap-filled ancient ruin, killing Draugr as we advanced deep into its depths. Mercer is - to give credit where credit's due - a talented and skilled fighter, and even though he belittled me a lot through our excavation, and even though we had some disagreements on strategy, he was a very good companion to team up with.

We found a large room behind an old Nordic puzzle, which Mercer was somehow able to open without a claw that is used to open these things. I entered first, and was immediately was hit by an arrow straight to my chest, an arrow that had been coated with some powerful poisonous cocktail. Paralyzed by it, I couldn't move at all, and the pain was greater than anything I've ever felt in my life. I just collapsed on the floor, thinking I was going to die there and then.

Karliah revealed herself. It was her who had shot me. At first, I thought, maybe these two are working together because Mercer wasn't coming for my defence? But no, when the two spoke, it became apparent to me that Mercer was the bad guy here. He was the one who had killed the previous leader, not Karliah. I was confused.

The encounter didn't get to further blows, as Karliah was able to get away from harm's way before Mercer was able to attack her, and I was left alone with Mercer. He kneeled down next to me and sighed, saying that I'm going to die now. "A shame", he said, as he was starting to warm up to me. At the same time though, he said he didn't know if I could be trusted, and in the end, me dying here in this tomb where nobody will find my corpse is going to be advantageous for him. He then stood up, standing there quietly for a moment, brandishing a sword. He said something about not wanting to plunge a sword into a defenseless child, but that he had to do it anyway to play it safe. That's exactly what he did. He stabbed my chest with the sword once, causing me to pass out.

Even despite being a high-grade asshole, he still is a little bit too soft, or maybe he's just dumb. He should've honestly stabbed me more if he wanted to get rid of me, or maybe chop off my head or light my body on fire… I'm glad that he didn't have the foresight, because… Well… Here I fucking am!

Karliah was able to tend to my injuries and save my life after that. I'm not quite sure how I survived, what that poison really and truly did, but what I do know is that Karliah is an excellent healer. In anyone else's hands I would be dead.

We talked at length, and all these years she has tried to expose Mercer of his crimes to no avail. She wants him to be brought to justice. She had recovered Gallus's journal from this tomb, which may hold the final clues and the evidence, but unfortunately it's been encoded in a language unknown to her. She also revealed that her, along with both Gallus and Mercer, used to all be good friends in the past. They even had a splinter group of their own called Nightingales. I guess this group is part of the Thieves Guild, but at the same time it's not. I'm not really sure… She didn't go into too much detail about what this clique was all about.

I then traveled to Winterhold alone, where I met with a man who was able to help me, at least somewhat. His name is Enthir, and I've seen him around inside the Mage's College. He and Gallus used to be good friends, so there's no doubt that he can be trusted all the way. He was able to confirm that the language journal is written in is in fact Falmer language. Very few people alive know how to read or translate it, and Enthir knows for the fact that none of them reside within the Guild, not even Urag. The idea of asking Gelebor for help crossed my mind, but I didn't actually end up even mentioning it, because let's be honest, I have no intention of going on that dangerous journey through the Forgotten Vale alone. Besides, Enthir already has a plan at mind, a plan which involves visiting a certain wizard living in Markarth. His name is Calcelmo, and the word has it that he has made some groundbreaking research into understanding Falmer language…

Well, I know what I'll be doing next. I really wanted to wash my hands clean and kiss the Thieves Guild goodbye, but now the only thing that's in my mind is revenge against Mercer for trying to kill me, for lying to me, for using me. I'm not too hot on the idea of going to Markarth, but it'll be fine, I'm sure of it.

Sun's Height, 19th, 4E 202

So, I've made it to Markarth and I got to work pretty much immediately. I found Calcelmo and talked with him about the work he's done. He wasn't too interested in talking with me at all, he was honestly pretty distracted, but that's fine as well. It made stealing from him easier.

I lock-picked my way into the museum which was the easy part. The place was more guarded that some of the Jarl's longhouses and castles I've seen, but I managed to sneak by. To get to Calcelmo's laboratory I had to traverse through the Dwemer ruins which lie inside and beneath the mountain. Easy enough. There weren't any active animunculi left, but some of the pathways still had active traps that hadn't been disarmed. Getting past them was still easier than trying to sneak past the guards though, so I never ran into trouble.

As for the laboratory… Well, I was expecting some notes, but I didn't end up doing that much stealing in the end. The whole research was carved into stone tablets, with the largest one being taller and wider than my sorry body, obviously impossible to move around by a single person. My hunch was that it contained all the information I was going to need though. I wondered if I was going to get away with staying here for a long time to copy the text, or if there was another way? Well, there was, and I glad I spent some five minutes thinking about an easy solution as it probably ended up saving me an hour of painstaking work in the process. I found some large papers and some charcoal sticks, took a rubbing of the carvings, got away safely with my newly acquired scrolls. Then, I made my escape.

Looking back, I think Calcelmo will figure out someone's been in his laboratory, and considering that I also harassed him for quite a while… Damn it, he may be able to connect the dots… I probably should've never talked to him… Oh well, as I didn't actually "steal" anything of worth, the worst I'll have to deal with is trespassing charges, which I can deal with, and that's only in the worst case scenario.

Here I would love to write about how I'm on my way to Winterhold, but alas, I've made no such move. Well, I could have started my trip, but I ended up getting into some unrelated troubles to keep me occupied. It all started with me picking up a job which I thoroughly regret now.

It all started with a dirty, drunk beggar groping my butt when I was walking past him. We're not talking about a typical pervert here either. He's about as slimy as a human being can be. There was one guard looking, but the coward didn't do anything. He just shrugged his shoulders and walked away. I glared at the drunk, and he just smirked and laughed. He says that he remembers me very well and would love to give me a good shagging once again. Yeah, and the fact that he was one of the damned drunks who raped me thanks to that corrupt bastard on Silver-Blood's payroll just made the whole situation worse… You can just imagine the things he said to me. No. Fucking. Way. Guy's missing half his teeth and you can probably smell his breath from a mile away.

I told him to leave me alone, but he ended up stopping me, telling that he's actually got a job offer. He's been looking for someone to help him out, and he showed me a bag full of coin. I have no idea where he got it from, and honestly, I don't even care, so I at least heard him out. He wanted me to go steal some stupid statue from the Temple of Dibella.

That's all? I laughed out loud and agreed to the job. Easy as fuck, I though.

It's not like me to botch a simple job like this, but I got caught quickly after infiltrating the temple, where the priestesses were holding some gathering or a ritual within the inner chamber. I obviously couldn't tell them that I was there to steal anything, so instead I just lied about the door being left open and about how I was simply curious… I think my ruse worked because they were willing to let me walk scot free. Kind of.

They wanted me to do a favor for them, something about finding them a new Sybil or something. I'm not quite sure about everything that goes into Dibellan Arts and her worship, but I know that they're all promiscuous women… Well, it might be fun? I'm more of a Daedra kind of girl, but I can at least tolerate Dibella, and I'm sure she can also tolerate and appreciate my promiscuity as well.

As for the job offer by the beggar? Well, I don't think I will be returning to him. Stealing the statue would make it too obvious that it was me who did it.

I should probably return to Winterhold as quickly as possible, but I'm going to take a little side path and visit Karthwasten for those Dibellan priestesses. They said that their young Sybil could be there, and it's just by the road I'm going to be traversing anyway, so why not?

• 18th Journal - Payback