JoS/Lyra/4th Journal - A New Family

Frostfall, 27th, 4E 201

I made it to the Dark Brotherhood sanctuary. It's located right by Falkreath and it was a little weird seeing the place I used to live. Even though it wasn't even that long ago, it feels like a different life. Things were so much simpler then.

But now, I guess I have a new family. It almost feels like it too. Astrid, their leader seems really nice. I bet I could learn a lot of cool things from her. Then there's her husband, Arnbjorn, he's a werewolf and kind of scary so I try to avoid him. Veezara is an Argonian who grew up in the Dark Brotherhood. Aside from the innkeeper in Riften, I haven't met many before but I really like him. The wizard named Festus Krex is pretty grumpy and doesn't seem to like me but my fellow archer, Gabriella is really nice. The Redguard, Nazir who seemed to be Astrid's second in command is nice, but not too friendly and wants me to prove myself first before getting to know someone who will probably be dead soon. I can't really blame him for that. It’s not like my size would give anyone any confidence at all in my ability to do anything remotely physical. All in all, even though a few of the members don't really like me, it's far from the worst reception I could have gotten.

But that's not quite everyone. When I first walked into the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary to meet the members, I thought they had another kid in the group. A little girl was telling a story about leading some pedophile down a dark alley and biting his neck. I didn't really completely understand until she told me later that she's not a kid, but a vampire and got bitten when she was a few years older than me. Now she still looks like a kid even though she's a few hundred years old. I had heard lots of scary things about vampires before, but I've never met one until today. Her name is Babette and she's really nice. She told me she bets I'll be great at sneaking around because I'm so small and she made being in the Dark Brotherhood seem really fun.

So far, I feel like I came to the right place, but the idea of going out and killing people for money sounds kind of wrong. But I felt like everyone I've killed so far definitely deserved it, so I'll see how it goes.

Nazir gave me my first three targets to get me started. Or contracts as they like to call them. None of the people really seem that bad so I feel a little strange about just going out and killing them, but I'm heading out tomorrow to start tracking them down. I'm not sure if I'll actually go through with it yet, but I'll at least give it a try.

Frostfall, 28th, 4E 201

Traveling by myself on the road is pretty lonely. I'm headed north to do my very first contract. I had a close call with some bandits on the road. One of them saw me and they came after me. Fortunately, it seemed like they were separated from their group because it was just two of them. I was able to sneak and hide from them and they gave up looking for me. Maybe I'll go back and see Yana soon and maybe we can travel together again. I would definitely feel a lot better if I traveled with someone who had my back.

Frostfall, 30th, 4E 201

The job is done. I killed my first target. Yeah, it felt kind of wrong but it’s not like it’s the first person I’ve ever killed. She was the owner of a mine in the town of Dawnstar. The hardest part was doing it without being seen. She spent most of her day outside in full view of people so it’s not like I can just shoot her in broad daylight unless I want to deal with breaking the law and getting myself a huge bounty. So I waited until there was no one around and hit her in the evening when she was leaving her mine. I hit behind a snowberry plant and shot her right in the back of the head. A few people saw her fall, but I managed to sneak away before anyone could pin it on me.

As for Dawnstar, it’s cold and snowy up here and there’s not much to see. I wanted to spend the night at the Inn here, but since I just killed someone here it’s probably got a good idea. People here are also complaining of having nightmares and not getting good sleep. Some people are saying there's some sort of strange magic going on. That makes me really not want to stay here. So I guess I’ll just camp out on the road like I have been for the last few nights.

Sun's Dusk, 1st, 4E 201

My second kill was a mill worker at Angi’s Mill not too far from Windhelm. The man was sound asleep. I double checked the sketch I had of him to make sure it was the right person. I’d hate to kill the wrong person just because I couldn’t see that well in the dark; but as soon as I was sure, I pulled out my bow and just shot him where he laid. He barely even made a sound when he died. I’m still unsure whether or not I’m really cut out for this. Sure, I feel kind of bad for these people since they seem mostly innocent. But at the same time. I feel like taking a life should be a lot harder than it is. Maybe it’s all the hunting I’ve done with daddy or maybe it’s everything that happened to me recently. Whatever it is, once the deed is done, I can’t say I really worry about it too much. After every horrible thing that's happened to me ever since that day the Imperial soldiers captured my father and me, it feels good to let off some steam, too.

Since I’m right by Windhelm, I’m stopping off to see Yana and I guess let her know what I’m up to. I’m not sure how she feel about it though. How exactly do you tell your friend that you’ve joined a group of elite assassins and have started going around killing people? Not exactly the type of conversation you ever really plan on having.

Sun's Dusk, 2nd, 4E 201

I'm going to take it easy for a while. I'm back in Windhelm and spending time with Yana. I kind of had to tell her what all had happened since I effectively left Windhelm without saying goodbye. She thought I was mad at her or something. Next time something like that happens, I promised I’d send her a letter to let her know I’m okay. I honestly might have had I not been so distracted by, well. . .everything. At any rate, she was understanding and even supportive when I told her about that Khajiit I killed and the vampire girl who killed that old man.

Today, we went out and played with some of the other kids in the city. I almost felt normal. But then we got a little too close to the palace and a Stormcloak soldier started eyeing Yana and me. I barely recognized him as one of the soldiers who had used us when we were being held there. I got worried for a moment that they might try to take us hostage again, but nobody had bothered Yana since she'd been back. Quintus, Yana’s uncle raised a huge fuss when he found out about it and they basically threatened him to keep quiet about but still paid him a good sum of gold too. Even still, she told me she'd been trying to avoid going too close to the palace. We resolved there's not much else we can do about it but just keep our distance.

I ran into to Stenvar, the sellsword who helped Yana free me from the Stormcloaks. He usually hangs around at Candlehearth Hall when he’s not on a job. Ha said our kidnapping was going around the rumor mill and that Ulfric put a stop to anything like it since, saying it was a bad look; especially for the war effort. He even heard that Ulfric threatened Galmar over it. That didn’t exactly make me feel great, but it was reassuring to know they weren’t likely to do something like that again.

Since I'm going to be getting paid for the Dark Brotherhood contracts I'm doing, I don't need to worry that much about holding onto any of the gold I've saved, so I can afford to stay here at the inn for a bit. Yana said I could stay with them, but her uncle was worried that Nurelion wouldn't like the idea. That old guy is pretty grumpy, so I'd rather not test it.

Sun's Dusk, 11th, 4E 201

I left Windhelm and am on my way to Ivarstead to find my next contract. While I thought about inviting Yana along, being an assassin seems like it should be more of a solo thing, so I didn’t ask her if she wanted to come. I’m definitely regretting that now. Still, I don’t want to feel helpless and need someone with me all the time to get by. Daddy always said I could be too stubborn and independent. Maybe he was right.

After spending the night in the small village of Kynesgrove, I moved on and managed to get myself lost. I tried to take a short cut by leaving the road to go over a small hill. But I haven’t been able to find the road again and now I’m pretty sure I’ve been heading in the wrong direction. I’m about to go to sleep now, but tomorrow morning I’m going to give my map a little more attention and see if I can find my way.

Sun's Dusk, 13th, 4E 201

Well, I’ve found my way—-right into a group of bandits that have now taken me captive. It was starting to get dark yesterday evening, and after a day of constantly double checking my map while fighting off rabid wolves, I was getting tired. They caught me completely off guard, knocked me over and before I knew it. I was stripped naked and tied up in their camp. I can hardly believe it. Faendal taught be better than this.

It’s a small group, only three of them actually and only one of them seems interested in using me. It’s not like it makes it that much better. But it is better than getting raped by all three of them one after the other. They were talking and laughing about how much money I’ll bring when they sell me into slavery. Their leader, the one who has been using me, says he wants to keep me around for a while and enjoy me. Personally, I'm looking for a chance to steal one of their daggers and slit their throats so I can escape.

Despite being a bandit, their leader really isn't all that bad. He doesn’t force himself onto me like so many of the Stormcloak soldiers did. He likes to touch me all over and run his hands over my chest and tells me I’m pretty. He rubs my pussy too and I start to get that good feeling again. He’s fucked me twice today and make me suck him too. I still hate being forced to pleasure him, but compared to what I went through with the Stormcloaks, this isn’t that bad. The accommodations are definitely worse, though. Instead of sleeping in a tent and keeping warm next to the body of a naked soldier, I'm left outside to sleep in the dirt, wearing a collar that's tied to a tree. And this time nobody knows I've even been caught, so there's no chance someone is coming to find me this time. I'm all on my own.

Sun's Dusk, 14th, 4E 201

I woke up this morning to something splashing on my face. When I looked up, the bandit leader was kneeling over where I had been sleeping on the ground. Of course, the substance now all over my face, neck, and hair was is cum. At least he was nice enough to help me wash my eyes out when they started stinging from the cum that got in them. One of the other bandits decided he was horny enough to use me too. That's what he told me. He said that he wasn't into little kids, but I had been such a tease that he couldn't resist. Once he said that, he turned me around and took me up my ass. The grossest part was that he made me clean off his cock with my tongue afterwards too. I kept gagging the whole time either from the smell or the taste--probably both. I threw up when it was over. Because of that, I've decided that if I do manage to escape, I'm killing him the slowest.

Sun's Dusk, 15th, 4E 201

If this journal tells you anything, being a little orphan girl in Skyrim is the worst! I'm not completely helpless, but I'm still at the mercy of whoever feels like taking me hostage and having their way with me at any given moment. Being a kid does have a few advantages, though. One big advantage is that nobody thinks you can do anything. After all, most little girls wouldn't dare venture out into the wilds of Skyrim. But most little girls are little scaredy cats. And most little girls wouldn't sneak a dagger out of the boot of the bandit they're currently sucking off. I wanted to stab him right there, but I knew that would only make things worse for me.

I may be deadly with a bow but even if I stabbed him really good, the man would likely have overpowered me and if I was lucky, I'd still be alive after. Not to mention it would be three against one. The grass was tall enough for me to hide the dagger from him, so I managed to slip it out of his boot and drop it in a taller part of the grass without him noticing. The other two bandits were on the other side of the camp, so I wasn't too worried about them seeing either. I kept doing my job, letting him abuse my mouth until he came. I'm sick of being forced to drink his cum, but if everything goes according to plan, that will be the last time I have to.

At night, one of the bandits stay up while the others sleep. But it's pretty frequent for the youngest one to fall asleep while he's supposed to be watching the camp. So tonight, that's when I plan to make my move. The leader did realize his dagger was missing eventually, but he thought he misplaced it and looked for it for a good while before giving up. He did look by me too, but I hid it under a big rock next to the tree I was tied to, so he never found it and it never occurred to him that I could have taken it. Nobody ever suspects the helpless little girl.

It's dark now and all three bandits are drinking mead and joking to each other. The leader might come use me again; but once they're all asleep I'm going to get the dagger, cut this collar off and slit all their throats in their sleep.

Sun's Dusk, 16th, 4E 201

I escaped! I stayed awake last night, trying to pretend I was asleep. Then I waited until predictably, the idiot bandit fell asleep while on watch. Being extra quiet, I retrieved the dagger from its hiding place and cut off my collar. That part was easy. The hard part was creeping up and killing the first bandit quietly so the other two wouldn't wake up. But when it came down to it, I would just have to do it and hope for the best.

Fortunately, he was already leaning over in his chair. When I came up from behind and slit his neck, he made a few gagging noises but didn't fall off the chair and make a bunch of noise. I creeped over and did the same to the bandit leader who was asleep in his bedroll. I got caught up in the moment when I moved to the third and final bandit, moving too quickly and not bothering to be quiet enough. He woke up just as I moved over to him. He jolted awake and tried to push me away, but he was too late. I plunged the dagger right into his chest. He cried out as I continued stabbing him and I didn't stop until he was silent.

My clothes and the rest of my gear were locked in a chest in the camp. I grabbed the key off of the leader's corpse and collected my things along with their stash of gold. It wasn't that much, certainly not worth the days of torment I had been through, but I'll take whatever I can get out of it. Before getting dressed, I walked down to the river that wasn't far from the camp and washed their blood off of me. As I washed myself, I actually felt truly satisfied from killing someone for the first time. I hate what they did to me and they deserved it.

As soon as I dressed myself, I saw dim lights off in the distance and knew it must be a small town. Indeed, I walked there and realized just how close I had been to my destination this whole time. Now I'm staying at the Vilemyr Inn in Ivarstead. I got here very early this morning and slept almost the whole day. After being forced to sleep outside in the dirt, having my own bed in a warm inn is just what I need. I'm going to get something to eat and probably go back to sleep. Tomorrow I'll head out and look for the man I'm supposed to kill here. This is a small town, so it should be pretty easy. He's some homeless beggar too, so I'll probably know who he is as soon as I spot him.

Sun's Dusk, 17th, 4E 201

The beggar’s name was Narfi and he was living in an abandoned and decrepit house on the edge of Ivarstead. I waited until he went inside the house to make my move. I crept in and shot him right in the back. He collapsed immediately and bled out. The entire time I just imagined he was the Imperial soldier who killed Daddy. I’m headed to Riften now and hiring the carriage to take me back to Falkreath and to the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary.

Sun's Dusk, 20th, 4E 201

Back at the sanctuary, there was someone new when I got there. He's that weird Jester I met stranded on the road named, Cicero who is the Keeper or something? I don’t really understand what all that means, but the other members were arguing about it. I don’t really care that much about it, though. The Jester recognized me and thanked me for helping him on the road that one time. I still think he's really annoying, though.

Anyways, Astrid gave me my first big contract. I have to go speak to a lady in Markarth who will give me the details. I’ve never been there, but supposedly it was built by the dwarves. Now that I’ve done some contracts, the other Dark Brotherhood members seem to respect me a little more. I’m crashing here for a few nights before heading to Markarth.

That vampire child, Babette helped me work on my alchemy skills and showed me a few poisons I can make. She’s really nice and even though she’s way older than me, I think we’re becoming friends. Nazir gave me my rewards for the three people I killed and he seems to be liking me a little more, too. The old wizard Festus is still really grumpy, but that’s okay, I’m not going to worry about what some old man thinks of me. Although it's really weird to think that Babette, who barely looks much older than me is a lot older than him.

5th Journal - My First Big Contract