PIP/Santa

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Codename: Santa

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Incident Report

  • Case Agent: Reindeer Rachael
  • Time of Incident: 01 December 2017.
  • Location of Incident: Indianapolis, Indiana.
  • Nature of Incident: The passage of the mantle of Sinterklaas to a new host.
  • Classification of Incident: Omega - DO NOT ENGAGE SUBJECT!

Subject

Santa Claus

  • Pseudonyms: Randal Allen Paige (Host Spirit), Sinterklaas, Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, Jólnir, Wodan, Odin
  • Gender: Male
  • Age: Unknown (Randal: 65)
  • Height: 6'6"
  • Weight: 255 lbs.
  • Measurements: 44/38/42
  • Genitals: 8 3/4" penis 2 1/4" diameter when erect, uncircumcised
  • Hair: Snow white
  • Eyes: Light blue, magic glass eye in left socket
  • Skin: Fair Caucasian
  • He is NOT the fat jolly old elf that he is made out to be.
  • He is a powerful entity of good-will and giving; but he is no pushover.
  • DO NOT ENGAGE!

Family

Rachael Jane Paige-Brewster

  • Relation to Subject: Daughter
  • Gender: Female
  • Age: 35
  • Height: 5'10"
  • Weight: 138 lbs.
  • Measurements: 35(C)/28/35
  • Hair: Black
  • Eyes: Cinnamon Brown
  • Skin: Medium Caucasian
  • Catalog Model.

Sean Yancy Brewster

  • Relation to Subject: Son-in-Law
  • Gender: Male
  • Age: 36
  • Height: 6'3"
  • Weight: 245 lbs.
  • Measurements: 43/38/44
  • Genitals: 5 1/2" penis 2" diameter when erect, circumcised
  • Hair: Platinum blond
  • Eyes: Teal
  • Skin: Fair Caucasian
  • Artist.

Mckinsey "Kinsey" May Brewster

  • Relation to Subject: Granddaughter
  • Gender: Female
  • Age: 15
  • Height: 5'3"
  • Weight: 115 lbs.
  • Measurements: 33(B)/26/35
  • Hair: Brown
  • Eyes: Dark Aqua
  • Skin: Fair Caucasian
  • Sporty.

Jason James Brewster

  • Relation to Subject: Grandson
  • Gender: Male
  • Age: 12
  • Height: 4'10"
  • Weight: 88 lbs.
  • Measurements: 31/26/32
  • Genitals: 7" penis 2" diameter when erect, circumcised
  • Hair: Brown
  • Eyes: Steely Brown
  • Skin: Medium Caucasian
  • Popular.

Haley Ophelia Brewster

  • Relation to Subject: Granddaughter
  • Gender: Female
  • Age: 6
  • Height: 3'10"
  • Weight: 44 lbs.
  • Measurements: 25/22/27
  • Hair: Honey Blond
  • Eyes: Golden Brown
  • Skin: Fair Caucasian
  • Spirited.

Kirk Lloyd Paige

  • Relation to Subject: Son
  • Gender: Male
  • Age: 33
  • Height: 6'1"
  • Weight: 185 lbs.
  • Measurements: 38/32/35
  • Genitals: 8 1/4" penis 2" diameter when erect, circumcised
  • Hair: Sandy blond
  • Eyes: Deep Blue
  • Skin: Medium Caucasian
  • Engineer.

Brandy North Fields-Paige

  • Relation to Subject: Daughter-in-Law
  • Gender: Female
  • Age: 25
  • Height: 5'5"
  • Weight: 128 lbs.
  • Measurements: 37(DD)/33/39
  • Hair: Strawberry Blonde (Coarse-African)
  • Eyes: Emerald Green
  • Skin: Freckled Light Mocha
  • Stay-at-home Mom.

Misty Sarah Paige

  • Relation to Subject: Granddaughter
  • Gender: Female
  • Age: 5
  • Height: 3'6"
  • Weight: 39 lbs.
  • Measurements: 24/21/25
  • Hair: Sandy Blond
  • Eyes: Chartreuse
  • Skin: Fair Caucasian
  • Playful.

Other People of Interest

Krampus

  • Pseudonyms: James Nathaniel Brown (Host Body)
  • Relation to Subject: Underling: Punisher of Naughty Children
  • Gender: Male
  • Age: Unknown (James: 46)
  • Height: 7'8"
  • Weight: 666 lbs.
  • Measurements: 88/55/66
  • Genitals: 12" penis 3" diameter when erect. Knotted like a dog (6"). Flared like a horse. Barbed like a cat.
  • Hair: None (Brown Horns)
  • Eyes: Glowing Yellow
  • Skin: Spiked Crimson

Peppermint Penny

  • Relation to Subject: Underling: Head Elf
  • Gender: Female
  • Age: Unknown, over 1000. Became an elf at 6
  • Height: 4'0"
  • Weight: 45 lbs.
  • Measurements: 25/22/27
  • Hair: Golden Blond
  • Eyes: Sapphire Blue
  • Skin: Light Caucasian