JoS/Kanna/16th Journal - Grazelands

Morning Star, 31st, 3E 428

I had a strange dream, which I believe to be some kind of vision from Azura kind of like the one I saw when first arrived to Vvardenfell by boat, and the one I saw when I picked up the ring from her. Instead of showing me the future though, it showed me the past through the eyes of Nerevar.

I only remember small tidbits and snippets, although it all felt so real, almost if I was there myself. When I, for example, fought in the battlefield, it was almost as if I was really there cutting through my enemies like butter. I wielded a long sword, and I think some of it has stuck to me. Like, I picked up a broadsword from new Ashkhan's armory later, a while before writing this down, and took a few practice swings. I can't really handle anything this heavy with one hand, as I've got a body of a child, but I know how to fight with one. It's really strange, because I've never swung a sword this big anymore. Did it stuck to me from a dream, or is it just Karim's teachings sticking to me?

That's by far not the only thing I remember from the dream vividly. I remember talking to some Gold-skinned elf, a male who looked older than he really was with that long, white beard of his, talking to him about something really boring, like he was advising me on a political matter or something. I also remember traveling in a caravan in a location I can't quite put my finger on and coming across a young rogue, who to me appeared to be either a feminine boy, or perhaps a masculine girl. He or she was a hermaphrodite, and I saw something in this poor youth, promising to take him or her into my care.

Then, there was the wedding night. I was there, standing next to a woman dressed in a royal gown, and a long-bearded man who I think was a Dwemer presented us both with gifts, both of them being swords. Next thing I knew, I was on a bed with my newly-wed wife. She was naked in front of me, on all her fours calling me by name. My hands ran across her supple waist, sank into her golden skin, and my eyes ran across the black tapestry all over her body. There were tattoos on her stomach and her back, all the way from her shoulders to her wrists, and on her long legs too. Her body was a canvas, and it was equally beautiful as it was sexy.

That was one of those realistic parts too. Like, I actually felt having what it felt like having a penis, and I remember so vividly how it felt when I grinded it in and out of her. Her tightness around my dick… For fucks sake, just writing down "my dick" feels weird. Something about it felt so familiar and just as intense, while the other aspects of experiencing sex as a male felt bizarre, almost alien. I had this animalistic, beast-like desire to see it all to the end, like I couldn't even control myself or something simply of how amazing it felt.

Even though I felt like I reached some kind of climax during this wet dream, I didn't feel fully satisfied when I woke up. I just laid on that bed with an annoying longing, with my head tucked down completely under the blanket along with rest of my body. I touched myself, but obviously that extension of me was gone. I was wet, and I was horny, and since I had already started it, I masturbated. It's something I hadn't done in ages… Not since I arrived on this island at very least. I bit into my pillow to muffle myself, wanted to spare myself from the embarrassment of having Kanna or some of my hosts find out, and I rubbed myself all the way into climax. Yet, even still, I can't say I felt truly satisfied even after that.

Now, I'm just annoyed, still kind of trying to piece everything back together. I should try to focus on what's real and what's not and forget about that dream, or at least parts of it. At least I can appreciate what men go through during sex I suppose.

Sun's Dawn, 1st, 3E 428

We arrived on a little boat on the southern shores of Grazelands - also known as Sunna Guradan - located in the easternmost parts of Vvardenfell, a vast expanse that's about the most normal places you can find, and a lass grown up in Cyrodiil doesn't find this to be too different from home. Long stretches of green grass, flowers and wheat dotting the landscape, hills and forest, and very few giant mushrooms in sight, these remote, largely uninhabited lands remind me of home. All that's missing is farms, horse-back people traveling between regions and ancient Ayleid ruins. Kind of strange though; all this arable land, but so few farmers? I guess House Telvanni - who govern the area - just don't give a shit about agriculture.

Our first encounter with an intelligent creature was with a Nord, and let me just tell you in advance, this land never fails to amaze me with its crazy inhabitants. Buck-naked, standing in front of us, with his little friend standing as well, asking about some witch. I tried to avert my eyes from that big white thing, while Kanna was just facepalming profusely. That Nord had absolutely no shame about having his erect crotch tube and bubbles on full display.

Since he mentioned a witch, that's what the topic soon became about. He had hired her to escort her from Tel Aruhn to the town of Vos, but as soon as they got here, she used, and I quote "her foul trickery" against him stealing his gold, armor, his priced enchanted battle-axe, and most importantly his pride. He explained about how she had summoned some foul creature of Oblivion to anally rape him.

Now, I mentioned him being crazy, and that's mostly due to how he presented himself without shame, but he also started going on about how he's gonna give that damned witch back what she did to him tenfold, going to describe at least in five different ways he's gonna rape that bloody bitch. Not gonna lie, his graphic explanations made me uncomfortable, and I eventually just told him to shut up, and that we would help him. That wasn't a promise we were gonna follow up on though.

Not too far off to the north we found a camp by the road, where a woman was taking camp. That damn Nord flew into rage and charged, roaring and screaming like a madman, going on about how the blood of her anus was gonna coat her cock or something. We weren't sure what to do, or if we should interject, but it seemed like the Dunmer woman seemed distressed, and was screaming at the pervert to get away. She had noticed us too, and asked us why we had brought that man back to him, begging at us to intervene. We weren't really not even sure what's true here and what isn't, but we came to her aid in the end. Something about that guy just rubbed us wrong…

For what it's worth, she's no evil witch, or maybe she is, I don't care. She's a Telvanni retainer like me, not that I recognized her. As a sign of good will, she was even willing to let us take her camp, as she was heading back to Tel Ahurn for more work, as this gig turned out to be a bust for her. I guess we also saved her… Although at the same time, we did bring the man to him… Whatever… All's well that ends well!

Sun's Dawn, 2nd, 3E 428

News travel fast, and my arrival was expected within the community of Tribe Zainab. Local Ashkhan Kaushad welcomed me warmly along with my friends, and invited me for a drink in his yurt.

From what it seemed, the decision had already been made by Sonummu - the local wise woman - to trust me and believe in my proof, but not Kaushad. As friendly and welcoming as he was, he was equally blunt and honest. He admitted that while he has no problems with outlanders in these lands, the idea of Nerevarine being an elf of foreign blood doesn't sit well with him, not that he was too interested in that particular superstition and prophecy anyway. He said he's not even sure his people need any kind of "unifying leader" when their tribe has seen no troubles or conflicts in the past few decades, with them untouched by even the blight. Besides, there was also the matter of my gender…

Kaushad is fiercely loyal to tradition, and thus he does not believe in women having any kind of leadership position. I challenged him on this of course, asking why are there wise women then, but to him it's a different matter entirely, as they're not leaders in the traditional sense of the word. I also tried to argue that I'm not interested in being a traditional leader, as all I care about at this point is the fulfilment of the prophecy. He, however, didn't see my point.

"Nerevar wasn't a leader, the king of the Chimer by right, but by accomplishment", he argued. "He was a hero who fought to liberate our people and united us."

"And Sonommu herself recognizes me as the incarnate. I am Neravar."

"By your own admission, you said you're not interested in being any kind of leader", Kaushad continued and smiled. "That to me suggest otherwise. Besides, you're still just a girl."

There's obviously nothing I can (or even want to do) about my gender, so for him to use it as a reason to dismiss me seemed incredibly unfair. So what if it's their tradition? These are very untraditional times we're living in. All I really could say in return was to just give me an opportunity to prove myself. I may not be the same man Neravar was some four thousand years ago when he lived, I may not be a king, but I for damn sure know I'm capable of being a hero. Fortunately for me, he said that had made his mind early to give me a chance to prove myself, saying that he just wanted to grill me and test me verbally to see if I would be insulted by anything he said, and to test my conviction. He said that there is indeed something I could do not only to his people, but to also him personally.

He suggested getting rid of an ancient enemy that has tested them in these lands on and off for a long time now, along with many travelers that pass through Grazelands. A Vampire by the name of Calvario - "a foul spawn of Molag Bal", as he also described him - takes refugee with his kin in a nearby tomb, and to prove my worth and my might to Kaushad, I should liberate them from this evil. I've never ever dealt with Vampires so I was a little anxious and worried. I mean, I cannot become a Vampire myself considering that I'm immune to all mortal diseases, but they're more powerful than your regular undead and mortals, are they not? Kaushad called this an ancient enemy, so I suppose we're talking about an old and powerful foe.

Anyway, that task will have to wait, because we got lost trying to look for the cave. Isn't that just great? As beautiful as these vast meadows of Grazelands are, it's so easy to get lost because every direction kind of looks the same. We were using the tower of Tel Vos as our guide, kind of like a giant lighthouse in the sea of green grass, but that didn't help us. We decided to call it the day and just rest there.

The town of Vos is actually quite a small community of farmers and herders with no services beyond a small temple, but Tel Vos, now that's an interesting little building. It's an old Imperial fortress with some of the tallest towers I've ever seen, and the whole grey stone building has been taken over by this massive mushroom tree, which in its own right is even taller than this castle. It's not the White-Gold Tower, but it's still the tallest structure I've seen anywhere in Morrowind.

This tower is property of Master Aryon, who's the youngest of all the Telvanni Masters. He lives here alongside his servants, offering services like stores and lodging, has a whole army of mercenaries as guards, and he even owns a Dwemer museum. Yeah, he's a rich guy! He was busy with something when I arrived, but I'm going to meet him tomorrow.

Now, we rest. Got to gather my strength to levitate to his tower tomorrow. Like damn, he's gonna be hard to reach I fear.

End of current content.