JoS/Henriette/11th Journal - Into the Dephts

Rain's Hand, 18th, 4E 202

Hello, my dearest diary, it's it great to have a home now? I've been able to lay low and just relax here in nature's harmony. Just me, Sofia and sweet solitude. She likes working around the kitchen, while I've been tending the garden. Neither of us like cleaning though. I do sometimes leave towards the woods to hunt, but besides that, there's no reason for us to go anywhere. We're self-sufficient here. It will get lonely on the long run and I want to have more friends here… There's still two guest rooms open here. Maybe in the future?

I still don't know much about this lewd Daedric marking that has been printed on me, but I've at least learned basics of how it works… Is it even work of a Daedra? I'm not sure what other entity I could even attribute it to. Maybe Sanguine has his magics on it? I don't know. Either way, that's besides the point.

It seems to get a little bit brighter anytime I get horny. It's barely noticeable, but the brightness is always, without mistake noticeable through any clothing or armor I have on and projects itself on top of them. I can hide it with my hands, but not fully, my hands are not big enough, and besides, the magic on it burns my palms like a hot stove. I literally cannot hide it in any way. It's basically this huge advertisement on top of my crotch that says, "I'm horny". It's so embarrassing…

I've gotten a lot closer with Sofia too. It started when she admitted to me that she's jealous of the fact that I never grow up. She said it would be weird of her to grow up to be an adult and still travel with me when I'm always going to be a little girl. So, she told me to change her into a Vampire too. I was really unsure, I couldn't believe she wanted to do it especially since she had never brought it up before, but she assured me that she has thought about it for months now. Now she has made her mine. That kind of let us connect on a very personal level too, and our relationship has taken a very intimate turn since then.

We've been having a lot of sex, making love like only girls can. At one point, we even snuggled for two days straight… Just the two of us, playing around with toys around the clock. It's great fun, I tell you. She's obviously into me… I'm still more into boys, but so is Sofia, I think. It's not like we can't have any room for girls in our hearts too.

Now that we've gotten so lewd and intimate with each other, we have also discussed the possibility of sharing a bed with a man and even engage in threesome, and who's to say we can't have even more participants?

Our training has progressed very smoothly too, and we both feel much, much stronger. I haven't gotten around slaying dragons, so I haven't been getting stronger from their souls, but I still gain strength from the blood I consume. This area is generally speaking a good hunting ground for Bandits. It's a good thing they haven't tried to infiltrate our home yet.

Well anyway, I didn't want to write in my journal today because of what we've been doing, or rather, the fact that we haven't been doing anything. Recently though, I've been itching for an adventure. I've been thinking about focusing my efforts into helping Lord Harkon fulfil his prophecy and finding rest of the Elder Scrolls.

So, we'll be traveling to Winterhold together. From there, who knows where our adventures will take us? Well, I hope that no matter what happens, it will at least be exciting.

Rain's Hand, 20th, 4E 202

So… It seems that my notoriety has cost me some friends… Were they even my friends to begin with? I'm not sure, but at least I used to feel welcome there. We made it to Winterhold after a long journey, and Sofia decided to stay behind in the inn.

Then, I tried to enter the college, but they didn't let me in. Faralda, the gatekeeper told me that I've been suspended indefinitely from the college, putting a sudden halt to my search for the Elder Scroll.

I said I didn't understand why. I had done nothing wrong, at least not in my opinion. She said that the decision was made by Tolfdir, the man who was in charge of training me. He apparently didn't approve of me anymore, and considering that there aren't really anyone here to train new students besides him, everything kind of fell apart apparently. Faralda said that they said they had heard of my crimes in Markarth, rumors about me being a Vampire and even whispers about my promiscuous lifestyle. Basically, they kicked me off the college because they think I'm a murderous Vampire slut.

I mean, technically, they're not wrong… That's exactly what I am…

Wait, wait just a minute, that's besides the point! Did they not think it was strange for me to be free if I was sentenced to death and imprisoned? And they even judge me based on how many sexual partners I've had? What, am I not allowed to have a private life anymore? I mean, the first two reasons for my suspension I can understand, but how is my promiscuity even a reason for them to consider? And about me being a Vampire, they don't even have evidence. It's not like being a Vampire is a crime anyway! Why would it be? I didn't choose to be turned into one! I have a right to live just like anyone else does! Yeah, it sucks that my survival depends on blood of humans and elves, but that's not my fault either!

I could tell that Faralda was getting a little nervous and even scared hearing me rant to her. She said that there was nothing she could do, but if I wanted to help, I could go to speak to Tolfdir who's still surveying Saarthal. By Sithis, they're still at it? It has been like four months. What do they even expect to find there?

Well, my best bet and finding clues about the location of the Elder Scrolls lies within the college, so I have to play along with their games. I don't really want to break in either, as I don't want to damage my relationship to these people further… I kind of feel that I need to try and improve my reputation with everyone and repair these broken relationships. I don't know exactly how bad the situation is on the other side of Skyrim, but I fear for the worst.

Rain's Hand, 21st, 4E 202

It's hard to say how much progress these guys had made here prior to me getting here, but something told me instantly that they hadn't made any significant discoveries. Tolfdir was quite angry when he saw me, but after I explained that I really am here to redeem myself, he said that he can give me a chance. "Just one chance", he said, very slowly and clearly, almost as if he was speaking to a toddler.

Since he didn't really want to deal with me personally, probably because he's disgusted by me or something, he sent me to on some other task in Winterhold. What does he take me for, a freaking errand girl? I was like seriously, I came all the way here for nothing? He said it's actually important because one of his students has gone missing or something, and that her life could be in danger. He wanted me to go find this person and find out what happened to her. I was to start my search in her field laboratory in some abandoned shed on the outskirts of Winterhold.

I told him that I'm glad to look into it, but I was sent here to help and I could be of use, trying to reason with him. I've been in places like these before, I know what I'm doing, that's what I told him. He reluctantly said fine, but he still wants me to find that missing student to restore his confidence in me. Besides, he still didn't want to deal with me, so he sent me to one of his underlings instead.

Why do I get the feeling that he really, really dislikes me?

Anyway, Tolfdir's apprentice Arniel at least had something for me, although it wasn't much. He wanted me to look for some enchanted items, but swore that if I broke anything there would be a steep price to pay and no chance of me making up for the things I've done outside the college.

So, I followed his instructions to the T and found amulet on the wall. When I pulled it off though, I got trapped behind bars with no escape.

Both Tolfdir and Arniel were upset and embarrassed with me, and said that they told me not to touch anything I'm not supposed to. I was like "Look, I was just following your orders. This amulet looked important and I can even feel magic from it."

Arniel was cussing me out, calling me a stupid brat and a worthless whore, but Tolfdir was interested in the fact that amulet was enchanted. He could feel it too, and pointed out that it has some kind of connection with the wall I pulled it from. I tried casting a spell after he suggested that to me, which then went on to destroy the wall into dust and pieces, revealing some corridor from behind it. Never mind that, I didn't know my Destruction magic is this powerful.

At this point, Arniel was pissed and shouting at me for damaging this precious, irreplaceable piece of history and about how I was going to get expelled for life, but Tolfdir at this point was completely focused on the fact that I had just discovered a hidden pathway. He calmed Arniel down and came to me, saying, "you said you're been into these ruins a lot, right?"

Well yeah, I have. I'm not the most experienced adventurer out there, but I did assure him that I know what I'm doing. I didn't pull the amulet off just out of dumb curiosity.

I think I had earned his trust at that point. He told me that we'll be heading inside soon, that he wanted me to come with him, but he has some arrangements to do beforehand. He said that Sofia can come along too even though she's not in the college and very much banned from ever studying here again. He said that she may be just about the most problematic student this College has seen in decades, but he trusts her in her abilities as an adventurer, just like he trusts me in that regard. I told Sofia about what happened, and now we're just waiting for him to come back…

So, yeah… Discovering a hidden pathway within just hours must've impressed him, considering that they've been here for months. And they even had the nerve to question my competence…