JoS/Kanna/Aliya's Backstory
Last Seed, 16th, 3E 427
Dear diary… Or is that too cliché? I don't know how to start a diary. I've never kept one, never even had an opportunity to have one, not that I've had any reason to in the past. This one was given to me as a gift alongside some pocket money. I was told to keep one for my journey, so I guess I have one now.
I recently got released from prison and now I'm on short probation, which serves as a "test" period for how well I can perform as an "ordinary" citizen. Tomorrow I will be free and my criminal history will be stricken from Imperial records. There's not much "ordinary" about me though and I'm also a little anxious about being "free", being an orphaned young girl left off in a strange land…
As for why I have one now? Well, there's this Breton, this kind old, balding man who works non-combat duties within the Imperial Legion. I'm not sure what his exact role is, but he's been interviewing me a lot whereas the soldiers have mostly just been keeping watch over me and making sure I don't cause trouble. Of course, I've tried to do my very best to be as obedient and well-behaved as possible, and I think it has worked. Most of the Soldiers aren't buying me saying that I didn't exactly deserve as harsh a punishment as I did, but this Breton thinks there could be something to it. He knows exactly what I did, and now he wants to hear my side of this story as clearly, as transparently and as honestly as possible. That's what this essay is about, my life up until now as a whole. So, this is for you, Socucius! My life up until now!
To put the story of life into one simple word, it's been miserable.
I was born in Anvil raised by my mother, but lived most of my childhood in Skingrad. It's a wealthy town east of Kvatch, southwest of the Imperial City. That's basically where I grew up, where I became me. Both of my parents were Altmer born and raised in Alinor.
I remember my mother being the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, like a goddess come to life. I'm sure even Dibella would pale in comparison. Her heritage probably wasn't that pure, as evident by her skintone which was lighter and paler than what you'd expect from an Altmer, a skin that I've inherited as well. I have very fond memories of her and how she used to care for me despite being a poor beggar.
The reason why I was raised in Skingrad, in an orphanage nonetheless, was because I was torn away from my mother. She was arrested on one fateful night early in the spring and I never saw her after that. Later on in my life, I learned why she was arrested, and it's so hard for me to wrap around the things they say she and her allies did in my ancestral home.
My parents are difficult people to wrap my mind around in general. Yeah, both of them. Based on what I've heard and read about the events that transpired prior to her fleeing Summerset Isles, they weren't people who was too concerned with law or morals. She was part of some trendy group of young revolutionaries called "the Beautiful" who believed that their homeland of Summerset Isles must go through radical changes to "modernize", and they overtime morphed into something more sinister.
No sugarcoating here, my parents were terrorists. Both of them. Vandalism and destruction of property were just the start of crimes in the organization they were a part of, targeting and even succeeding in assassinating members of the royal family was the endgame. That's what led to her coming to Cyrodiil, to escape justice. She was already pregnant with me when she came to Cyrodiil, because my father died in the days following her escape, with his head chopped clean off his shoulders under headsman's axe. Needless to say, I don't know much about him, as my mother never talked about him. All I know about him is what I've heard from strangers, and they don't paint him in favorable colors.
Considering that both my parents were convicted terrorists, amongst the most wanted criminals to ever raise from the streets of Alinor, I wasn't exactly set to have an easy life either. I don't have many good memories from the orphanage I was raised in. It was a beautiful building just outside the city walls, for your information. Nobody wanted to adopt me or even thought about it, so I was stuck there. I was a troublemaker too, and I'm not ashamed of it.
The other kids were nice most of the time and I got along with most of them, but there were really only a couple I could call friends. I was the odd elf out in a house full of humans, so obviously that didn't help either. There were quite a lot of bullies there, so a tall girl with pointy ears was an easy target probably. Only one I really even looked up to in that place was Tumindil, but he wasn't an orphan though. He's an Altmer like me, works as a priest in the chapel. He used to visit the orphanage almost daily although he didn't work there officially and always seemed so happy to see me. I loved him, I really did. He was a very nice and charitable man, and even taught me some magic. I've always had the aptitude for the arcane, for the lack of better words. Tumindil himself said that magicka flows through me like wind blows through leaves on the trees… I guess what he meant was that I'm equally skilled as I'm vulnerable.
I hated the headmistress and have nothing good to say about her. She was a control-freak, a perfectionist and very irritable. She was very rich, and while it was charitable of her to run an orphanage which I suppose is admirable, she was stingy too. Keeping us kids well-fed wasn't on top of the list of her priorities. Instead, she was obsessed with enhancing her own status and looking as fine as possible. Skingrad is a wealthy city and there's this class of women who like to wear really fancy Colovian dresses and expensive jewelry, and then compete with each other about who has the richest husband and who buys them the best gifts… My headmistress was exactly like that. I think her husband works in the castle in some high position, but I'm not sure.
Still, I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of that lifestyle. Their daughters were typically very beautiful too, and I would kill to just wear something that elegant just for one hour in my life…
Her assistant was even worse, but in a different way. Darius, a filthy man. Everyone hated him, not just me. He was so clingy, slimy and inappropriate. He was owner's son, or grandson, I'm not actually too sure, but he probably worked in that place just so he could be close to children and harass them. Worst of all, he got away with a lot of it, and some of it was targeted at me. He has touched me in an inappropriate manner and even got away with straight-up molesting me. One time I got yelled at by the headmistress after slapping Darius for trying to touch me from under my skirt. Made me want to slap her too, but she was screaming about throwing me on the streets, so I had to just bite my lip.
We were all expected to work for our keep and were only offered beds and one meal a day, nothing more. No pocket money, no nothing. I've worked only in city, mostly at the West Weald Inn. My only two real gifts from the orphanage were writing and reading, as the headmistress didn't teach us many skills beyond that.
I also did voluntary work in the chapel on weekends, but I mostly did that only because I wanted to learn more about magic. Most of my arcane knowledge comes from reading books and learning spells in the chapel, but also in secret. The library in the orphanage was also surprisingly large and I liked to sneak into there. Got some beatings and spankings thanks to it, but it was all worth it probably. The headmistress was a frail old woman and her slaps wouldn't hurt a rat. Her yelling and screeching were way more painful.
Now, here I have to admit to some of the wrongdoings I've done in my life. I already said I'm a troublemaker, but that word doesn't really tell much. Most of my "troublemaking" can be boiled down to practical pranks such as mixing some unsavory herbs with a potion bottle meant for a sick kid that had once bullied me. Let's just say, he got even sicker because of it, and I got away with it because he was already sick.
Then, I've also stolen. A lot. I've gotten away with overwhelming majority of it too. I mostly used to steal from rich people who obviously won't even notice if a coin from their fat purse is missing, or from shop-owners who look like they might have a little more fresh produce they can sell in a day. The fact that people generally shunned me didn't help. Guards especially hated me, as they all knew exactly why I was an orphan.
Will I apologize for what I did? Do I have regrets about these crimes? No, absolutely not. I did what I needed to do to survive and to not go to bed on an empty stomach, and I will continue those ways if need be if that's what it takes for me to grow up to become a beautiful woman like my mother was.
So far it hadn't been really that bad, just slightly bad, so where did it take a turn towards misery? Well, I'm at the fault for that. I dug my own grave and caused a horrible accident, and for that I apologize and have lifetime's worth of regret.
I had recently learned how to create fire from my hands, you see. I had trained in controlled environments so far, but I was just so eager to get better. I could already cast Chameleon, Sanctuary and some Shields too, and I could even detect nearby lifeforms and walk on water, so being able to light things on fire was the next logical step. We had all been forbidden from any casting and other trickery by our headmistress, so I was training in secret. My spell got out of hand and ended up setting a fire that eventually went on to burn down the entire building to the ground. I got away unharmed, but I was too scared to admit to being the one to do it. I didn't wake anyone up, a regret that I will without a doubt take to my grave. It ended up costing lives of three orphans as well as Darius and the headmistress.
The guards scheduled for their shift outside the city walls arrested me, having figured out pretty quickly that I was at fault here. I tried to run away, but I had no way of outrunning two grown up men. I was subsequently imprisoned, and the next one and a quarter of a year of my life would be a nightmare come alive.
There wasn't a lot of chatter about what to do with me or about what my fate would be. It was just kind of decided behind closed doors and without any kind of trial. Nobody ever investigated the whole thing as far as I know, so there was no way for me to defend myself or explain that it was just an accident. Then again, even if they did recognize that it was an accident, there was still a punishment to be had. The facilities in Skingrad weren't equipped to house me any longer, so I only served time in Skingrad prison for about one week before I was eventually transported to a larger facility in the Imperial City. It was a smaller section of the Imperial prison, kind of like a juvenile detention center. I saw many come and go, while those like me, those who were never let go were a rarity. This is where I experienced the most horrible year of my life.
There were days when I genuinely questioned whenever I was living a life worth living. The captain of the guard there constantly talked about the need to re-educate me though what he called "discipline". I don't see it as much else than torture. I have been tied up and whipped countless times, my back still bears a few scars that probably will never heal. He was also the man who took my innocence away from me. I knew what sex was, I know why men and women are different, I'm not stupid, but he was the one who taught me how deep the depths of depravity really are. He taught me that there's more to sex than just love when he forced it on me. First time was the worst and the scariest, painful too. He was so rough, and I remember just crying my eyes out throughout the whole ordeal of him being inside me.
Note to Socucius, as you obviously will be reading this as well… Please do something about that awful man! Expose his crimes! The things he does in that prison are horrible!
Still, that was just one night. The next evening he did the same thing again, and then again, and the following day too. Then, he came to me one day and showed me that sex doesn't have to be only sex, if that makes any sense. I wrote about being whipped and tied up… Sex often involved that too. I remember being tied up with my legs spread to a chair, hands tied behind my back to a post with a tight ball-gag making it impossible for me to bite down. He talked about how pissed he was for not being able to make me cum, words I didn't understand back then, words I come to learn very well after that.
He had these weird toys, stones vibrating using some kind of shock magic I think… Not really capable of hurting anyone. I remember being tortured by him by them regardless, with those little things being pressed against my privates, but never entering inside me. It must've taken for over an hour of me just resisting and being in tears, struggling in vain against all those tight restraints before he finally forced me to "cum". It was scary and intense, but in the strange way I felt relieved too…
For the coming weeks, he continued to train me. I guess at some point my body just naturally started to shut off its defenses and it wasn't long after torturing me with those toys that he made me cum with his dick for the first time too. I couldn't believe I was feeling pleasure from being raped. It made me feel sick and question my sanity… It still does… He used to talk about how I secretly must like him training me to be a slave. I continued to deny it for most of the part, but on some days, I wondered the same thing, especially towards the end of my sentence.
He wasn't the only man who had the privilege of abusing me, as he had some underlings too, and I wasn't the only one to be abused either. Girls and boys alike, all were potential targets. Only those like me, those who served longer sentences were treated like animals though. It was basically like a pig house for slaves. We were naked with only sturdy Steel collars around our necks and more metal on our wrists. Yeah, that's all we were allowed to wear regularly. Sometimes we were forced to do sexual acts on each other for the amusement of guards watching over us. On that note, the captain of the guard wasn't actually the one who took my first kiss from me. He didn't like the idea of kissing me for some reason, so he never did. Instead, my first kiss was actually with a young Imperial girl I don't even know the name of. Yeah, my first kiss was with another girl… I'm not sure how I should feel about that…
They had successfully managed to make me lose all my hope of ever getting away from that place. I was convinced that I was going to be in that place for the rest of my days… But here my life takes an unexpected turn.
It was about a week ago. I thought that the captain was coming because he wanted to abuse me again, but instead he said that I've been pardoned and that they've begun the process of my release, scheduled to take place very soon. It came as a total surprise and a shock. He seemed indifferent about it too, as if everything he put me through was nothing to him. I was hoping for him to at least show a sign of emotion, at least express some feelings towards me after all those times he had abused me. He always went on about how pretty and sexy his little elven slut is… I guess those were just empty words, because that encounter, my last encounter with him, proved to me just how expendable I was in his eyes.
I'm hoping to never see him again as I trust that you, Socucius, will take the contents of this "diary" very seriously and suggest for a thorough investigation into that "juvenile detention center" and the unethical conduct that go inside, which will eventually lead to that man's imprisonment and execution. That's the bare minimum. He deserves no lighter punishment.
I was transported via a carriage to the city of Ebonheart, where I also spent one night. Oh, and I mean the one in the mainland, not the newly constructed "Castle Ebonheart" west of Vivec… I got confused once myself; apparently there are two Ebonhearts!
Well, it was a long and boring ride. We stopped only at Cheydenhall but I was never let out from my carriage. There were several other prisoners in the caravan too, but I spent most of the time alone in my solitary shell, with only guards as my company to bring me food. Saw some pretty sights on the way, slept when I could. By the time I was transported to the ship I was just so, so damn tired. Weather was pretty bad and the boat was rocking and creaking like it was about to sink, but I slept more peacefully than I ever had.
I had a strange dream where a beautiful voice of a woman spoke to me. It could've been just figments of my own imaginations, but she described how I was taken from the prison to here, Morrowind, the northeastern province of the Empire. She said she's watching, she said I've been chosen. I saw visions of hellish landscape covered in ash storms under dark clouds too. It was all so bizarre, but that's about all I remember.
I then woke up to the sound of a man talking to me, urging me to wake up. It startled me badly, as I've come to be wary of strangers during the past year or so. He was a Dunmer, a fellow prisoner like me, and seemed really friendly all things considered. Had he been pardoned like I was? He spoke to me a bit, asking if I'm okay, why I was shaking, did he startle me, but I didn't have time to answer him. We noticed an Imperial soldier walking towards us. He picked me up by my wrists, undid my bindings and simply told me to "walk". I only asked him where we are, to which he politely answered, in the town of Seyda Neen, on the island of Vvardenfell. He escorted me to the Imperial Census office by the shore and here I met the man who told me to keep this journal and write this essay, Socucius Edgella.
Note to Socucius; you're a kind person. Kind people seem to be a rarity in my life. For that, I thank you.
So far nobody had told me what in Malacath's hairy bollocks is going on, what's going to happen to me, why I have been brought to this strange, foreign land… And yeah, Socucius was no different… But he did conduct a brief interview with me, asking me mostly about my past, but also by asking some more strange questions, most of which sounded completely irrelevant to me. Despite this, I answered as honestly as I could. Then, he instructed me to go talk to Sellus Gravius, an officer for the Imperial legion.
He handed me some pocket money, fresh batch of spare clothing as well as a letter and a package. He said that I've been instructed with delivering it to someone called Caius Cosades, but also reminded that it has to wait until my probation actually ends. Yet still, the only thing I wanted to know was why was this all happening!
"Look, I only learned of you coming here yesterday evening", he said, looking me down with a scary, stone-faced expression of his. To paraphrase, he next told me: "I don't know why some kid like yourself would be brough here, or why you were released from that prison ship, but know that the authorization comes directly from the Emperor himself. That's all that matters to me. You're now a free woman, but I highly encourage you read this letter, follow the instructions given to you in it and deliver this package to Caius Cosades. And for divine's sake, follow the rule of law. No thievery, no violence, no nothing. Do you understand?"
Yeah, seriously. I was pardoned by the Emperor himself. What in the world?
I find it hard to wrap my head around this being true, but the evidence points to it really being true. First of all, the letter really was directed to me, and it had been signed by personal secretary to the Emperor. The man I seek lives in the city of Balmora to the north of here, and the letter says I should look for him in a cornerclub named "South Wall". Beyond that, there really is nothing else. I still don't know the meaning of all this. The package is sealed tight and I'm not allowed to open it. I kind of want to take a peek… I'm just so curious about this all.
That's basically everything that's happened up until that point. As for my current feelings? Honestly, I'm a little scared. I'm alone in this strange land where I don't know anybody or even why I'm here. The food they serve here is strange too; Saltrice and Kwama eggs were the first meal I was served, and I don't even know what Kwamas are. Some local birds? Tasted decent I guess.
One positive is that at least I have my freedom now, or rather, will have my full freedom very soon. I'm still just a kid though… Where will I even sleep? Where will I make home? Am I expected to just be homeless here? There's a spare room here in the census office where I can stay now, but will I be able to stay here after my probation ends?
I've also gotten a chance to actually talk around this small town and see what it's all about. There's the general store, which is pretty much the only important building in this tiny village besides this office. There's also some tavern here, but no inn, which is really surprising considering how many people go through this place.
Anyway, that's my story and my thoughts about how I ended up here in Morrowind. I'm still a little scared, but in a weird way, I'm strangely curious about what I may find here. Don't get too excited about reading any potential future updates, Socucius. I'll keep the future updates to myself to store my thoughts, secrets and maybe a few notes here and there. Actually, I'm going to need a write down a lot of notes about directions and that kind of stuff if I intend to survive here.
Backstories
- Aliya's Backstory
- Kanna's Backstory
- Karim's Backstory