I think you're cute

Je trouve que tu es mignon - I think you're cute

This story is unlike most things that you would probably expect to read here. Large portions of this text aim to convey feelings rather than just pure lust. Why? Because these are my honest feelings. I have experienced what is written here. It is nothing but the truth. And therefore it is also not the outlandish scenario that someone else might write about. I hope you can enjoy this short confession of my feelings regardless.

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I woke up at 4:30 without and alarm in the morning since my sleep schedule was completely messed up. The previous night I went to bed at 9, something that years prior I wouldn't have imagined I would be doing. Yet here I am, getting up 3 hours before heading to school. I don't even know how my day-night rhythm went of the rails - must be because I basically lived alone at the age of 15, no parents in the appartment on the 2nd floor of my grandparent's house. As an introvert who usually enjoys spending his time alone at home this is basically a dream. When my mother got a massive job offer last year where she'd have to move away quite a bit she almost refused, knowing how much I would struggle finding friends or any social contacts for that matter in a new environment. Fortunately, I have equally thoughtful grandparents who gladly took me in with them, as they still had an empty appartment on the first floor which they allowed me to mostly live alone in. The only thing they expected was that I would help with chores around the house and garden whenever they came up as well as keeping my own appartment clean - A small price to pay for the freedom this gives me.

So now I sat upright in my bed, leaning on the wall, not tired at all after I had gone to the bathroom. There was no last-minute homework that needed to be done nor were there and upcoming exams I could study for. I was just incredibly bored and unable to go back to sleep. So I got up and went to my computer, booted it up and decided to browse YouTube a bit just to realize there were no new videos from my subscribed channels and the recommendations didn't look very promising either. So I opened Discord instead but obviously at this time, mid-week, everyone was asleep and the few private servers and group chats I usually frequent were completely dead right now.

The last idea that came to my mind was looking online for random people to chat. If it's just texting I generally don't struggle as much to hold a conversation. So I typed in the first site that came to my mind which was good old omgle.com - not exactly a site people my age should be visiting but I already knew I wouldn't be bothered by a few dicks and just maybe someone not-naked would be down to talk a little, even if things are bound to get a little spicy.

Very quickly I adjusted to the standard procedure of stating gender and age, also decided to add my sexual orientation (bisexual) in order to somehow maybe increase my chances of not getting skipped. Not hiding my face probably would have helped as well but who knows that.

Eventually after 10 minutes it actually happened. My chat partner on the other end, currently a mostly black screen but not pitch black, as if something has been thrown over the camera decided to answer my copy-pasted "m15 bi" with a "f14 straight". At first I was sceptical. From experience it was fairly unusual for girls, let alone 14 year-olds to actually initiate a conversation. I was pretty much sure that on the other end there was just some pervert but in my bored state I decided that would be better than nothing, I had nothing to lose after all. After a bit of rather slow back and forth we got so far that I knew she lived in Canada and she knew I lived in Germany.

That was when she asked if I wanted to play truth or dare. Since the way we talked so far seemed really genuine I decided to drop my caution and agreed. We started out by both asking the question of our names. She told me her name was Rylee, "a boy's name" as she added but that didn't even cross my mind until she mentioned it which made me chuckle. And apparently she heard that over my microphone which was never muted to begin with. She seemed to enjoy my giggle and promptly asked to hear me laugh once more as my next dare which was kind of awkward since I had to find a good reason for a genuine laugh as I wouldn't want it to sound forced. He response made it totally worth though: "omg my heart literally melted!" I didn't quite know how to react to that so I just awkwardly answered with a "haha thanks", this time in text form.

I don't even know what I asked her to do next but not wanting to ruin the nice mood that had built up it was something really harmless. Rylee on the other hand definitely tried to spice things up and dared me to take of my shirt which I had no problem with besides it being really cold in my room. Somewhere in the course of this I put up my camera a little so I would be completely in the shot and one thing led to another and we eventually sat in front of each other, finally face to face and actually talking through our microphones. I sadly don't recall every little detail, I really wish I did. I had such a wonderful morning. We talked about school, about our languages, French and German, taught each other swear words and how to say "I think you're cute" and continued with some silly but actually pretty harmless truths and dares. The spiciest it got was her reading a very spicy line out of a romance book but never more. I can't say I regret not going further but I do regret not asking for some sort of contact info or social media before leaving after over an hour.

For real, I have been biting my ass the entire day and the day after, I just wish I had any way to write to her again, talk with her. But the information that I had about her were just limited to her name, age, that she must live somewhere in French-dominated Canada - so probably Quebec - and some of her interests. I even went as far as to stay awake all night the following day, with the tiny hope of maybe encountering her on the video-chat platform again. But this was obviously to no avail.

Rylee, there is just one thing I wish I had told you one more and not as a bet because I actually mean it: je trouve que tu es mignon.