Talk:Hot Summer Job/Leave it there for now, you don't want to push your luck

From All The Fallen Stories
Revision as of 16:00, 20 July 2018 by Villenia (talk | contribs)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

This entry is rather long and has at least 2 points where it could have been broken down to provide other options, although I DO get where you were going with rushing to the consequences of what you said on the previous day with nothing to get in the way and stop that result from happening. It would be great though to have at least a break after your parents leave to head over to the Callahan's earlier. Jemini (talk) 08:49, 20 July 2018 (CEST)

Is it too long or is the pace too quick? I think the character count is pretty average for me. I know Carrie is a lot of fun but I didn't feel the need to repeat the breakfast scene and I didn't want to get bogged down by dinner. That said, if you had an idea you wanted to explore feel free to split this page wherever you'd like and branch off. Nothing I write is untouchable and collaboration can be inspiring. If I think of something for a dinner scene I might split it myself, but I don't have anything at the moment. Villenia (talk) 18:00, 20 July 2018 (CEST)

Retrieved from ‘https://stories.allthefallen.moe/index.php?title=Talk:Hot_Summer_Job/Leave_it_there_for_now,_you_don%27t_want_to_push_your_luck&oldid=22251’