JoS/Kanna/5th Journal - Escape

Hearthfire, 3rd, 3E 427

Every day those damn priests come down here and they treat me like I'm some kind of crazy person. They talk using simple, polite words, they avoid saying anything that could upset me, and they talk a lot about the Nine. They ask me about my feelings and my experiences, but my answers rarely satisfy them. If I tell them I'm feeling fine, they tell me I'm not fine. When I tell them I'm going to get over all that abuse, they doubt my words, saying nobody can truly get over things like that. However, even when I say that I'm not feeling fine, that I'm miserable, that I deserve freedom, they offer nothing to me but comforting words. Words, words, words, it's always just empty, meaningless words.

So, what I did, was put on my best possible customer service smile. You know the one, when you go to the local inn and the friendly barkeep with a pretty brown linen blouse smiles at you, asking if you would like to have anything to drink. I asked them how do you think it feels to be a sex slave and treated like a worthless fucking piece of meat for MONTHS? That's essentially what they're asking me! Oh, but the priests shouldn't worry, for I don't really care what they think.

All I want is answers. Yes, answers! Why am I still here when I've done nothing wrong? Their answer is that they don't know, and it's not their place to make that decision. I know they've been talking to guards too, so why is it so god-damn hard to just tell me what the guards have been saying to them? Oh, but I've got more questions, like "when" for example. When am I getting out? Again, just pointless drivel, no promises, no nothing. I ask them about my brother too. Nothing.

At least nothing was better than what I was told yesterday. I asked about Karim as usual, and the two priests just looked at each other with those vapid eyes of theirs, and then one of them replied to me. "Kanna, I know you're not ready to hear this, but you need to accept that your brother is dead."

I stood up in rage, I screamed at him not to lie to me, while the pair of priests tried to calm me down. He said that my brother had been killed with others in the Bandit raid, and there's no reason for me to believe that he's alive anymore. Obviously, I punched that priest right in the nose. I didn't even know I was capable of doing such harm. I'm glad I did, as that disfigured bloody potato suits him much better. I screamed more, I screamed my heart out. My brother is alive, I know it! He's out there somewhere, he just has to be! The guards were looking for him too for the longest time, and interrogated me about him, and now you mean to just tell me that he died in that raid along with the others!? The audacity!

My actions didn't go unpunished, but I didn't care. The guards came for me, asking what in Oblivion was I doing. They put me in cuffs and dragged me out from the children's facility to the actual prison, where they threw me into a small and damp cell, locking the door. Before they left, they told me that they'd come pick me up when I've calmed down, and said that they're expecting a full apology from me. Did they get one from me? Hahaha, nope! I don't regret punching that swindler in the face.

In my silent solitude, I managed to calm down, but the whole situation was making me mad nonetheless. I still can't understand why I'm STILL being kept in this prison against my will. Have I not suffered enough injustice already? And why would they even lie to me? He's my brother, my only family, and they lie to me about him being dead! I KNOW he didn't die that night, and I KNOW he's not so weak as to let himself die on the road.

Maybe they do know about him, maybe they're just not telling me the truth. They're hiding something from me for sure. At least those rapists were honest enough to tell they don't give a shit about my brother.

And if that all was not enough, there was someone else in the prison as well. A Dark Elf to be specific, never got the chance to know his name. He was asleep when I came so I had no idea he was even there, but when he woke up, he was giggling to himself about something incoherent like a god-damned maniac. The guy must be seriously sick in his head. He saw me when he walked up right behind the bars, and started speaking to me from his own cell.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't a pretty little brown girl, alone and so far away from home. Where's your mommy and daddy? Did they forget to pick you up when they set sail back to Hammerfell? Maybe they've sailed away all the way to the Far Shores, hmm?"

I wasn't going to let his taunts get to me, and I surely wasn't going to tell him that indeed my parents really are long dead. I bet he would've just been a dick about it, and I didn't care to get angry about it. Less he talks about my family the better. Oh, but he wasn't done with trying to annoy me.

"Oh, who am I kidding. I know your story, Redguard. I know what they used to do to pretty little girls like yourself. Raped like a cheap whore, treated as a slave. No, you're less than a slave. You're an animal. Bet you liked that, hmm? I hear they trained their little sex slaves well, and I also heard you all liked it. You included, you dirty little harlot. I bet, even now, it's unbearable. That slutty, used little cunny of yours must be getting so wet from just the words I speak to you. You want dick so bad, don't you? I'm going to give it to you soon enough, little girl. That's right, I'm going to rape you the first chance I get…"

I think he settled down after that when we heard steps coming from upstairs. It was a false alarm though, as nobody else was coming for us, but he was too bored to taunt me any more after that. Better that way I suppose, as I didn't really have the energy to get angry at him.

Some time later, when I couldn't see sun shining down from behind the bars anymore, the guards came to retrieve me, and reminded me to behave myself in the future. "If you continue misbehaving", one of them said, "you're only gonna make it worse for yourself."

I decide what best for me, but sure, I'll try to not get mad anymore…

End of current content.