JoS/Kanna/Karim's Backstory

First Entry

My life's been full of ups and downs since I was forced to leave my childhood home, but now, more so than ever, I feel like every day could be my last. That's why I want to write this down now because there's no guarantees I will live to see another sunrise, and my greatest fear right now is to just fade away and be another nobody, forgotten.

My name is Karim, and I've been orphaned ever since my parents were murdered in a bandit raid in the Midyear of 423. Now, I have only three things left from those days: my father's sword and my mother's locket which I carry around in my pocket at all times. They're my lucky charms, for the lack of the better word. Then, there's my little sister Kanna. She's the only family I have left, the light of my life and the only person I truly care about in this world besides myself. Even with us being apart now, she still my motivation for pushing myself out of bed every day to start a new day.

We were both taken in by the bandits, who raised us from that point onwards. In truth, we were little more than hostages though… It wasn't a relationship of mutual respect. I hated the chief, while he saw me as nothing more than a useful tool. His name was… No, actually, never mind… He's now dead and I don't think his corpse deserves a courtesy of having a name.

I was forced to do many things in my life, starting with simple thievery and banditry, highway robberies, targeting innocent, defenseless civilians, women and farmers, merchants… Then, by the time I reached my adolescence, I took my first life, and eventually, even participated in sexual assault… All these crimes, all these sins, I don't know if I can truly ever pay for. I hope I can, but if not, I'll take my regrets down to the grave with me. I was motivated back then by only one thing, and that was survival; not only mine, but also my sister's. I did horrible things for us to survive, for I knew he had Kanna at the end of his blade. I just had to do it all… I couldn't bear the idea of something bad happening to her… I know it doesn't excuse my crimes, but can you blame me?

I knew it couldn't go on forever though. I was still hungry for revenge, salivating at the idea of making those people pay for what they've done to me and my family. I succeeded, but at what cost?

After leaking information about an upcoming bandit raid to the guardsmen of Chorrol, telling them the clan's travel route and battleplan down to the last detail, they set up an ambush. I thought that would be the end of it, they would all die in this ambush with me and my sister finally gaining our freedom… But things just didn't go at as I anticipated.

Before I could go on my own way to tell the bandits to go ahead with their plan, two guardsmen blocked my path and drew their blades. The man I had just told about the plan, the captain of the guard, said that he knew about raid too, and said that he's very thankful of me, but more than anything, thankful that he will finally be able to get his just revenge against the bandits who had taken his family away from him. He insisted on me facing justice as well.

I tried reasoning with him, telling him that I'm motivated by revenge as well, and my family's lives were taken by these same bandits as well, but he didn't believe me. In his eyes, I was part of the very bandits that killed his family. I was sympathetic towards him for going through the same things I've gone through, but also angry at him for his blindness and inability to see the truth for what it was. It left me no choice but try to escape, and I failed. My unwillingness to take a life on my way out, my unwillingness to draw and strike my father's blade against the guards cost me dearly, and I allowed myself to be captured. All I could do was feel the iron tighten around my wrists as the two guards held me down against the floor. "We'll meet again soon", is what captain told me next, as he prepared to leave for duty. "I'm finally able to retire after today…"

I was so damn angry at the time. I was supposed to be on my way to battlefield. I was naïve enough to think I would be able to join the fight by the side of the law, but now the only thing on my mind was Kanna. I so, so wanted to get to her, to save her. There was no telling what could happen to her now. Since those damn fools mistook me for an enemy even after me helping them and leaking them info, they could also mistake my sister for a real bandit. For fucks sake, a little girl wouldn't be a bandit. I struggled with all my might, trying to tell the two guards holding me that I was on their side, but they weren't having it. They said that I was going to be hauled straight to jail.

I couldn't let it happen.

Somehow, I managed to escape. I freed myself from their grasp after tackling one to the ground, and I ran away. Still bound by the steel I knew I couldn't fight, and there was no doubt in my mind that they wouldn't hesitate to kill me at this point, especially with them all alerting everyone in the city about an escaped criminal. People made way, looking scared, horrified of me, staring me with their judgmental gazes. I guess they must've really thought I was a bad guy… Not like it matters. I was able to make it away.

Still, the matter of chains on my wrists still persisted. They weren't made from top grade material, and I felt that with some struggling and maybe even some violence, grinding against stone and wood, I would maybe make it out. It took so long, I was grinding my teeth trying to muffle my rage and swearing. My wrists were sore, hurting and bloody, but damn it, I was going to make it out to take my sister and escape with her even if it meant losing a fucking hand! It must've taken ten, maybe fifteen minutes, but I struggled myself free from the chains.

Now, in the middle of the woods, in an unfamiliar part of the city outskirts, I ran like mad for a short while, trying to figure out a way back to the camp. I kept praying please, to all the gods, even though I had never seriously prayed for anything before, to please just let me be in time, let my sister just be safe. All I could do was pray!

And then, finally, by the time I made it back to the camp, all I found were imperial officers and guardsmen from Chorrol looting the bandit camp and searching for evidence. No bandit was left there, and based on my extensive survey, neither was my sister. I was staring at the aftermath of a raid.

It was at that point that I realized, I was late. I had failed in protecting her.

Second Entry

Three months have passed since that day, and now I'm truly alone in this world. I now live my life as a traveling mercenary, picking up any jobs I can just so I can eat well and sleep peacefully. In that sense, I'm still motivated by the same thing as before, and that's survival. I'm just doing anything so I can survive to see tomorrow.

I try my best to not do anything illegal. Other than that, I'll do any job. Pest control, hunting down goblins or bandits… There sadly isn't much use for people like me in these lands, and people scoff at me when I reveal my "profession" to them in local inns and taverns. According to them, it's strange for someone to be an independent mercenary when there's the Fighter's Guild to take care of jobs like this, and suggest that I must be some kind of criminal or other reject for not being part of them.

I guess they are right in that part. I am both a reject and a criminal, but hey, at least I'm working to clean my name, as difficult as it may be. Either I gain enough reputation to clean my name and become someone worthy, or I die trying. Live by the sword, die by the sword, as they say… I treat my every day, my every single battle like my last, and you'd better damn believe you will follow these same rules if you cross blades with me.

If you are someone who killed me, well… First of all, congratulations, I hope I proved to be a worthy opponent, someone worth remembering, and second of all… Actually, never mind, just don't let me be forgotten like so many warriors before me.

Still, more than wanting to be somebody right now, I want to reunite with my sister. I know she's out there somewhere. She was arrested, that much I'm sure of. I've heard rumors of a special detention center for children and youngsters somewhere in the Imperial City prison, and those rumors aren't very pleasant. The conditions there are - according to what I've heard - very strict, if not even abusive, but at least there's nothing illegal going on there. Still, can't help but to have this sick feeling in my stomach…

My guess is that she's there, but there's no way for me to know for sure, and saving her from there just isn't an option. It's impossible. Just trying it would be a suicide, no matter how mighty of a warrior you may be. Besides, it would go against my vow to not commit any crime. If I tried to "save" my sister through crime, I can't see that helping me or her long-term.

As for paying up her bounty? Well, I doubt she even has one… Once you commit enough crime the Empire just gives up having bounties in the first place and instead put a death warrant on you. At that point, you either die by some mercenary's hand like a bandit, or you're captured and get thrown behind bars for years, maybe decades, maybe even rest of your life… That is, if they won't execute you. My point is, money can't buy her freedom, and even if it could, there's my own bounty to worry about. I'm not exactly sure what my bounty would even be, considering all the killing, thieving and banditry I've committed… Even rape, that one time… I probably have a death warrant of my own. My only hope is that I'll never be recognized. Has served me pretty well so far, especially when you consider that the clan I was part of is gone, with all of its members dead. I get dirty looks from guards in the cities I go to, but nobody has ever even thought about arresting me for anything.

That's about everything there is to me right now. I'm just a bitter, directionless mercenary worried about whether I can eat a hot meal tomorrow or not.

Let this journal also be my will, you know, in case I die. Everything I own now belongs to you, whoever you might be, the person who killed me… I hope you're a person… Wouldn't want to be killed by a damn beast… It probably isn't much, but you'll get a cheap armor, a shield, my rusty-ass sword passed to me down from my dead father, my mother's locket which probably has no monetary value to you, and maybe even some pocket money if you're lucky.

That's it. That's my story.

Third Entry

I wasn't intending to write anymore, but now another three months have passed, and I think my life is at crossroads. I have a big choice in front of me, which will without a doubt set a course not only for my immediate future, but for the rest of my very life.

It started on a small off-road tavern known as the Inn of Ill Omen. It's about the cheapest tavern you can find in all of Tamriel, and for a reason. The place is a fucking dump with its dark brown walls rotting in. Sleeping in this mold-infested dump for too often will without a doubt give you a nasty headache and a never-ending flu.

Alongside the Nord who runs the place there works a young lady, about my age, also a Nord, but I'm not sure if these guys are related. Her name is Erika by the way. Not sure what her role here is either, but she enjoys the company of visitors, and every time I visit here, she listens to my dry explanations of all the boring shit I've done with great interest and genuine glee in her eyes. She's stupidly optimistic and happy, like a human embodiment of a sugar rush.

Well, I seduced her on my second visit here. Not sure if she has a thing for getting fucked by travelers or if it's just me, but she's damn wild in bedroom nonetheless. She said that I'm the first Redguard she's ever laid down with, and asked if it's true what they say about our dicks, are they really bigger than average? Well, I've never compared my dick to anyone else's, but at least she moaned about me being huge.

Did I also mention that she's smoking hot? Average height, great figure, nice perky tits, thick bright-red lips and ocean blue eyes paired with wavy golden blonde hair, and those hips… I never get tired of banging her.

All of this, by the way, is critically important to my story. I'm not just bragging about slaying some prime teen pussy. Manheim the owner doesn't care about me fucking Erika, or maybe he's into being in the sidelines as she moans like it's everyone's business… Yesterday though, we weren't the only three people in the inn. There was a fourth person who I didn't know about, a young Breton female by the name of Renault, and let me tell you in advance right now, she's a real badass.

And she's hot too, but that's irrelevant information for this story.

When I was leaving in the morning, she stopped me on the front yard, asking if me and Erika had good time. "Oh, so you heard that", I asked, a little embarrassed, to which she just smirked and said that you could probably hear us fucking all the way to Bravil. She was clearly teasing me, but she was being cool about it, so I took liking to her. Maybe she was coming onto me? Didn't get a chance to bed her sadly. Teasing me about having loud sex wasn't why she approached me though.

She couldn't help but to notice that I'm a mercenary, and she said that she might need some help with something, promising good pay. At that point I still had no idea who she was, but I could see that she had a real fancy sword on her hip, so obviously I could tell that she was serious. Had no idea why she would need help though, but I didn't question it. Long story short, she was sent here on a mission with two of her allies, but those two men died in an ambush. She wasn't sure if she could handle it alone, so that's where I came in.

We were up against Bandits… I think? Cultists, maybe, they were a weird bunch, that's for sure, not your ordinary criminals. Renault didn't omit many details. I also mentioned that she's a badass, didn't I? Well, it became very clear when we actually fought side by side. I've never seen a girl that can handle a sword that well. Never mind her being a girl, I have never seen anyone handle a sword like that, period. Both her stance and her striking style were rather unorthodox, but deadly. I don't imagine such a stance working with a longsword or a scimitar for that matter, but for a long and a delicate blade such as the one she was using… She straight-up cut everything she wanted in half. Like, she's better than me, that's for sure, and can't be much older than me either. She's in her late teens, I think.

Needless to say, we crushed our competition, and Renault was happy. She paid me with three hundred gold Septims, which is way more than I have ever been paid for anything in my entire life. I was over the moon. She also said that there's a lot more of where that coming from, if I happen to be interested. What did she mean by that, I wondered, and after that she just laughed and said that she totally forgot to introduce herself.

She's with the motherfucking Blades. They're the Emperor's bodyguard. Can you believe that? This girl is a Blade, a high-ranking officer in the Imperial Palace Regiment nonetheless.

I guess you can also tell what she meant by "a lot more of where that came from", as she was impressed with my fighting skills. "Someone like you should join the Blades", she said, also saying that she has a good feeling about me. She described me as someone who fights with purpose and respect, both towards himself, the opponent and his blade, just like a Yokudan sword-singer of legends. Never before had I heard such praise! She said that I should go visit the Cloud Ruler Temple, and told me to think about her suggestion. We walked back to the inn, after which we went separate ways.

I'm so damn conflicted about this. I mean, that's a solid income and a way for me to really turn my life around for better, but would someone like me, someone with a criminal past ever get away with being part of such an organization? Can anyone even join just like that? I can't help but to think that my past will be revealed in due time, and joining an organization like that would simply hasten the inevitable.

No, actually… There's no need for me to be conflicted, because I won't be doing it for just myself. I have to consider Kanna too. I will be reunited with her one day, and when I do, I want to be able to provide for her. My sister is strong-willed and talented, I know that much, but she also lacks certain qualities that would help her live her life independently and has always relied on others for everything. I doubt she can even read or write, unless she's been able to hone those skills in captivity.

Yeah, fuck it. I'll join the Blades. It might not help me become "somebody", as becoming a "Blade" will make me another servant and a puppet for the Emperor, but if it will help me secure a safer and more prosperous life for myself and my sister, that choice is a no-brainer.

Fourth Entry

It's been about two weeks since I've joined the Blades. Kind of. Didn't end up "joining" them right away.

Visiting Bruma, which is a large city close to the Cloud Ruler Temple, headquarters of the Blades, I learned that Captain Steffan can be very selective when it comes to actually advancing someone to be a true Blade. If you can't get in through a recommendation or a direct invitation from a high-ranking officer, you join as an apprentice. Steffan accepts almost anyone to train, provided you don't have a criminal history. Since he didn't know about my past, he let me train at the temple.

So far I've been able to make a very positive impression here. I mean, not to suck my own dick or anything, but I am a master swordsman, so it's only natural for them to be impressed with my swordsmanship. There are other great, talented kids here too, like this fellow Redguard around my age called Baurus. He's not as good as me, but he's a good second-best after me. He will tell you otherwise, say that he's the best, but that's fine. He seems like a great guy with a great personality. We became fast friends.

Yesterday I was called into captain's office, and met Steffan face to face. He first said something that made me very happy, when he complimented me on my skills and called me one of the most promising apprentices he's ever seen, only to then tear down all my hype about being praised. He said he remembers me talking about being a traveling mercenary and an orphan from Hammerfell, and then also said that my description matches that of a criminal who has a death warrant on his head in Chorrol.

The silence was long and deafening. All I could think was that I was in deep shit.

"Come clean", he said, resting his chin against his crossed fists. "There's nobody but us two here."

I supposed it would be in my best interest to start from the beginning and tell him everything. Well, I didn't really talk as much at start, as I just told him to read my journal. He asked me to expand on some parts, and it seems like he's not too bothered by any of this. He said he can't blame me for what I did in my situation, even saying almost anyone would've done the same, and he seems to believe me too. He says he can tell I'm a good kid, which was a huge relief for me. However, he said that I shouldn't remain in Cyrodiil.

I thought I was going to be relieved from my position of being an apprentice there and then, but he went on to talk about how I could be a powerful asset for the Emperor in another province. He thought about it for a moment, and he said that he has a perfect job for me in mind. That job takes place in Morrowind. He didn't tell me what this job is about, apparently I'll learn that once I reach my destination. Oh, and he officially welcomed me to the Blades too.

Guess I must've done a real good impression on him for him to assign me on a mission like this, or maybe it was to protect me, or Blades' reputation… Maybe it's a mix of all three sprinkled with motives I don't know…

Morrowind, huh? That's the home of the Dark Elves, a place I never have even thought about visiting, considering that it's quite a walk away from my home in Hammerfell. I don't even know much about their customs or anything like that, apart from the fact that the lands ruled by elves are quite alien to those ran by men. It'll probably be fine though.

This morning I packed up everything getting good night's sleep. I've told nobody the truth about why I'm leaving. Baurus seems really bummed out, but wished me all the best regardless. I hope I come across him one day. As I said, he's such a great and friendly guy.

Now I'm staying in Bruma, had to buy supplies and shit for the upcoming trip. Wish I could afford a horse, as it would make travel much quicker, but then again, I wouldn't be able to take it along my journey once I set off to travel on a boat. That's right, I won't be staying in the mainland, and instead make my way to the city of Balmora to meet up with the local leader of the Blades, Caius Cosades. He'll fill me in with details of my job in full.

In a strange way I'm looking forward to what will come of my trip there, even though I must admit, I don't like the idea of the growing distance between me and my sister.

Backstories

• Aliya's Backstory
• Kanna's Backstory
• Karim's Backstory

Onward

• 1st Journal - Agent (By Aliya)