JoS/Lyra/1st Journal - The Beginning
Last Seed, 17th, 4E 201
I never thought something this bad would ever happen to me. It was so horrible. I can barely write about it without crying. Toady, I was playing in my room when I heard loud noises outside our house. Then I heard them kick down the front door. I cracked open the door and stated watching from my room and trying to be quiet. The men were all Imperial soldiers and told Daddy that he was under arrest. He started arguing with them. I was trying to be real quiet but I made a noise when they hit him and the soldiers found me too. One of them said I would make a nice bonus. I didn't understand what he meant by that.
Daddy's hands were bound and he started yelling at the guards not to take me, but they just hit him again. I cried as they put him in the back of a carriage. Another soldier grabbed me and took me to a different carriage. But I got to ride up front on a solder's lap. I asked him what they were going to do to Daddy and if they would let him go, but he didn't answer.
As soon as we started moving, the Imperial soldier started putting his hands all over me. I tried wriggle around and get him to stop, but he just joked to the soldier sitting next to him that he liked it when they fought back.
The soldier took one hand off me, so I thought maybe he would stop. But then things got even worse. He forced it down the front of my dress and started feeling my flat chest. His other hand moved underneath my dress too and started rubbing my leg. It felt so wrong.
The man kept touching me until the carriage stopped in Helgen. Then another soldier walked up and grabbed me, telling the other one that he had dibs on me. I was scared, hoping they would just let daddy and me go. But they didn't.
They started unloading the prisoners and the new soldier carried me over and dropped me onto a pile of hay. I barely had time to flinch before he reached down and ripped off my dress. Then the next part was so awful. I was too scared to move or even think about running away. I just laid there and watched as the soldier removed his armor and then he climbed on top of me.
It was so gross feeling his naked body rubbing up against mine. He was sweaty and smelled too. Then I felt his thing against my pussy and he started to push into me. I must have started crying out because I heard Daddy yelling at the guards. I couldn't see anything past the guard on top of me, but I could hear someone drawing a sword. Then something dropped to the ground and Daddy wasn't yelling anymore.
I just laid there and cried as the soldier raped me. He kept going harder and harder until I felt something shooting into me. I realized it must have been the man's sperm, at least that's what Daddy told me it was called once. He never told me it would feel so gross and slimy though. It started dripping out of me as soon as the soldier pulled out of me.
When he got off, I looked over and started crying even harder when I saw Daddy. There was blood all around him. I stood up and ran over to him, but it was too late, his body wasn't moving.
Another guard laughed and told me that I was all theirs now and would be used by all the Imperial soldiers who wanted me. That was when a loud roar came from the sky and everyone started yelling. I looked up and saw the biggest creature I'd ever seen flying through the air and land on the tower across the road. Archers started shooting at it and all the prisoners started to run. The next thing I knew, one of the Stormcloak prisoners was guiding me into another tower, away from the creature. I knew it must have been a dragon and I heard others yelling it as well. I ran as fast as I could.
When we got to the tower, I felt something wet and looked down to see the Soldier's cum dripping down my legs. In the commotion, I had forgotten everything that had just happened. Before I had much time to think about it though, the dragon broke down the wall above us and blew fire into the tower. He barely missed me!
That Stormcloak soldier helped me escape. His name is Ralof. First we got away from the dragon and then he led me through the Keep and out of the city. If it weren't for him, I probably wouldn't have made it out alive. Maybe that would have been better. Daddy is gone and I have nowhere to go. It's so awful.
For now, I'm staying with Ralof's sister and her family in Riverwood. She fed me and gave me something decent to wear, but I don't know where to go. I don't want to end up like some of those kids on the street begging to be adopted.
But there is one thing I do know. I hate the Imperials. Daddy didn't like them either and now I see why. Ralof said I should join the Stormcloaks so maybe I'll do that. I don't know why he thought a little girl would make a good soldier, but maybe he just saw how angry I was. They killed my father and now I just want to make them pay.
Last Seed, 23rd, 4E 201
I've been staying around Riverwood for the past week. Raulof's sister, Gerdur and her family are really nice and she runs the mill with her husband, Hod. Their son Frodnar is a little older than me and keeps trying to cheer me up. He really hates the Imperials, so that's something we have in common at, least.
I told Gerdur I wanted a bow and quiver of arrows and she got them for me. She didn't like the idea at first but then I started crying and telling her how daddy and me would go hunting together, so she got them for me. I met a hunter like Daddy, too. He's an elf named, Faendal. He even started to train me in archery. It was really nice of him, but it reminded me of Daddy too and I started crying afterwards.
Now that I have a bow and arrow, I feel a lot safer. I even decided to make the short walk to Whiterun. I don't think Gerdur likes me going off without anyone protecting me, but my daddy's been training me to hunt and protect myself all my life. I know there are a lot of dangers out in Skyrim, but I'm really good at keeping out of the way, too.
When I got to Whiterun, some guards stopped me from getting in because of the dragon attack. When I told them I was at Helgen, thought, they let me in to go talk to the Jarl. Somehow they hadn't thought about sending guards to protect Riverwood from a dragon attack. It seemed kind of obvious to me, but what do I know? I'm just a little kid.
The Jarl was kind of scary to talk to, but I guess he liked me because he also wanted me to talk to his court wizard about getting some tablet from that creepy place called Bleak Falls Barrow. It seemed a little weird, I don't know why he thought I'd be interested. I remember seeing that place for the first time in the distance high on a mountain when I was out hunting with Daddy. He told it was dangerous and I should never to go there. I don't know why the Jarl thought a little kid would be any help, but the court wizard made it seem like the Jarl sends lots of strange travelers to him, so maybe he just tells that to everyone.
Whiterun is a nice city with lots of other kids running around, but I didn't spend much time there. I did go by an archery shop, though. I have plenty of arrows for now, but they have some really nice bows when I can afford one. I'll definitely have to save up and upgrade when I can.
Once I left Whirerun, I ended up seeing an elk and tracked it a little further than I meant to. I wound up following it North a ways before I eventually lost it. I did run into a weird jester though, who kept talking in riddles and said he was transporting his mother's coffin but a wheel on his carriage broke. He was weird, but asked if I could help him convince the farmer nearby to help him. I figured it couldn't hurt to help out, so I walked to the farm and found and started talking to the farmer. Little kids can sometimes be awfully convincing. My daddy always said I was. Anyways, the farmer agreed to help out. When I went back to the jester, he gave me some gold, too. That made up for losing the elk.
I'm still staying with Gerdur for now, but I'm going to train and get better at archery. Once I make a little money from the animals I hunt around Riverwood, I'm going to Windhelm to try and join the Stormcloaks. I know I'm a little young to be a soldier, but I'll do anything I can to fight the Imperials. It would probably have been a better idea to keep it a secret, but I ended up letting it slip to Gerdur that I plan to try and join the Stormcloaks. She told me it was foolish, but I don't think she actually believes I can do it. She talked about trying to get someone to adopt me, instead. But I don't want anyone to adopt me, I just want to get revenge on the people who killed my daddy.
Last Seed, 24th, 4E 201
I may have mentioned revenge a few too many times. Gerdur and her husband, Hod both sat me down to talk to me about it. They say that getting revenge is bad, but I don't see how. They also told me I'm too young to be fighting a bunch of grown men. Maybe they're right, but I'll do whatever I have to do. I told them I'd keep training really hard. I'm already better at the bow than most older kids. A lot better, actually. I'm even a better aim than most adults. They just want me to stay with them. I think they might be planning on officially adopting me.
Last Seed, 27th, 4E 201
In the last few days, I've been doing lots of hunting and training with Faendhal. He's really impressed at the progress I've made. I was able to sell some furs and meat to the shop in town called, Riverwood Traders. They mentioned a stolen golden claw or something while I was there. I guess someone had broken into their shop and that's all they took. The shop owner said the robber went to Bleak Falls Barrow. It seems like lots of people need to go there but nobody wants to. Why do they think I'd want to go there?
Anyways, I picked up a more arrows and tomorrow I'm planning to head out early for a day of hunting, just like I used to with Daddy.
Last Seed, 28th, 4E 201
This is so horrible, I wish this had just been a bad dream. My day hunting started off just like any other. I tracked a few animals and managed to kill a few smaller animals. It wasn't a big score, but I can't carry that much anyways. Now I don't know if I didn't have as many arrows as I thought, or if I lost them or what, but when I started tracking a big elk, I realized I only had 2 arrows left! That was probably enough for the elk, but if anything unexpected happened, there was no way I would be ready for it.
A few minutes after I realized I would barely be able to defend myself if anything bad happened, the bandits crept up on me. Even if I had enough arrows, I only had time to draw one and point it before one of the bandits shoved me to the ground. The force caused me to lose my aim and the arrow flew off into the forest nearby. One of the bandits took my bow and last arrow from me and tied my hands behind my back. I begged them to let me go, but they didn't listen. Instead, they took me back to their camp which was located at some mine. As soon as we were inside, things got even worse.
I didn't understand why they would want to capture a little girl. What could they possibly want from me? I understood once they took me to the back of the mine and started ripping off my dress. I could feel a pair of rough hands traveling down my back, touching me all over as they took all of my clothes from me. My hands were unbound, too. It's not like I could actually go anywhere without one of them catching me. A few other bandits came and took liberties, touching me wherever they wanted. Even down in between my legs and my butt. I tried not to cry, but then things got a lot worse.
One of the bandits, their leader, stood up and the two that had been man-handling me stood up and backed off. For a moment, It seemed like he was going to save me. But then he untied his pants and forced me to the dirt. Just like that imperial soldier, he climbed on top and started to force his cock into me. By then, there was no point trying to hold back my tears. I was crying so loud, it seemed like I could be heard all the way in Riverwood, but I knew that was impossible.
There was nothing I could do but lay there in the dirt and allow it all to happen. The first time I had been raped by the Imperial Soldier, there was so much going on that I didn't really have time to take in when whole thing. With the dragon attack and them killing daddy, what the Imperial soldier had done to me just seemed like another one of the bad things that happened that day. This time there was no escape and no distraction from how much it hurt to have a full grown man forcing his way into me; or how wrong it felt to feel his harry body rubbing up against me. I barely remembered the Imperial Soldier shooting his sticky cum inside of me, but the bandit made sure I'd never forget. He pulled out his cock and just when I was thinking it was all over, it shot out onto me, landing all over my chest and stomach. One of the shots even made it onto my face and dripped into my mouth. It tasted sour and really gross. It felt gross having his stuff dripping all over me, too.
Once he was done, three more bandits went after him. One by one they climbed over me and did their thing until their cocks shot out their slime onto my body or in my pussy. Once they were finished with me, they left me naked and threw me in this small cell. They didn't even bother to wash their gross cum off of me either. I was able to wipe some of it off in the dirt, but the rest has dried up and now my chest feels itchy. I can't tell if it's still day time since it's dark in this mine, but I'm really tired so I'm going to sleep. I know Gerdur's family will miss me soon if they haven't already. I hope they find me somehow and save me.
Last Seed, 28th, 4E 201
I woke up to the site of one of the bandits bending over me, he was stroking his cock which was right in my face. He must have been doing it for a little while before I woke up because I hardly had time to recall what had happened to me the day before when his cum started hitting me in the face. I tried to roll away, but he held my head in place until he was done. It felt gross having his slimy cum all over my face and I whined when it started getting in my eyes. But complaining and asking him to clean it off was a huge mistake.
Another bandit from the group overheard me and came up to where I was laying, telling me he would help clean me up. I was glad someone was finally going to clean all the cum and dirt off of me. My eyes were shut tight, so I couldn't tell what he was doing until I smelled the hot liquid that started pouring onto my face. Then even worse, I tasted it. I tried to escape the stream of piss that was now pouring over me without much luck. Wherever I tried to move, the bandit moved his cock to follow. When he was finished, I was drenched in his hot, smelly pee. And the bitter taste of it was in my mouth, too.
He laughed along with a few of the other bandits that had been watching. He left me in my cell and locked it once again. At least they brought me food shortly after which got the taste of the man's piss out of my mouth. I wasn't allowed to finish my breakfast before another man walked up to my cell, horny and ready for me. This time I learned about yet another sex act.
The bandit pulled his pants down to his ankles and took a handful of my hair on either side of my head. It was still wet with piss, but that didn't bother him. He told me to open my mouth. I was tired of tasting gross substances and kept my mouth shut at first, trying without much success to shake my head. That only made him angry and he started threatening to make things worse for me. In the end, I opened my mouth and he slid his cock inside. I gave him what he called a blow job, or he gave himself once since he was the one actually moving my head. Before too long, my jaw started to hurt from having my mouth opened so wide for his cock. But the worst part was when his cum started shooting down my throat. I tried to swallow, but started gagging and coughing instead. He let me pull me head back a little bit and finished depositing his seed around my tongue. I was relieved when he was finished and pulled out of my mouth. I started to spit a bunch of his cum out onto the floor of my cell, but he saw me and bent down to pick up my plate of food I hadn't had a chance to finish. He positioned it right under my chin and it all landed right on my uneaten food. Before locking my cell again, he told me I'd better clean my plate and he would be personally offended if I didn't.
I decided I wasn't hungry anymore and was going to dump my plate onto the floor the first chance I got. That chance never came, though. That same bandit kept looking over to make sure I was eating. I could tell he knew what I was thinking. Eventually, I gave in and ate it.
The next man that came to use me said I smelled a bit too foul for his taste and doused me with a bucket of water. Finally, I was at least somewhat clean. He forced me to perform another blow job as a thank you, but he wasn't as gentle as the last one was. He forced my face to go faster and deeper onto his cock. A few times I thought I was going to puke. Fortunately, that didn't happen. He did deposit his cum on my face and hair though. I didn't ask to be cleaned up this time, afraid someone might decide to piss on me again.
The rest of the day was more of the same. I’ve been left in this cell and used whenever a bandit wanted me. By now, I must have been used by every man in the camp. I know I've only been held here for about a day, but it feels like I've been here a week. Most of them are asleep now and I'm shivering, naked and cold. I just want to sit in the corner of my cell and cry. But writing everything in this journal helps me feel a little better at least.
Last Seed, 30th, 4E 201
I've been stuck here for a few days now and it feels like it will never end. I hate these stupid, smelly bandits. I hate that they can just come do whatever they want with me at any time. I feel so gross and I just want it to end.
After the bandit leader came in and raped me today, he told me they were going to take me to Riften and auction me off to be a slave. He said I would become some rich guy's sex toy. I don't like the sound of that, but anything is better than being held prisoner in this dingy cave with a bunch of stinky bandits. I couldn't help myself but to start crying, though. He told me I was born to be a whore and I would learn to like it.
I hate all of them. I wish I had my bow. I bet I could sneak around the cave and kill all the bandits with it.