JoS/Kanna/14th Journal - Threads of the Webspinner

Morning Star, 1st, 3E 428

Happy new year to us! As others would probably take days off now, we've been doing that in the past week or so, so it's time to return to work.

In addition to taking it easy and doing household duties, I've been training on summoning Staada, which is actually not as easy as you might think it is, even though she's bound to my will. Let's not forget that she's not just some random daedra, but rather an Aureal, or a Golden Saint, as us residents of Tamriel refer to them as. They're sentient, intelligent beings just as we mortals are, not just some brainless beasts. The first time I tried to summon her, it cost me all my Magicka, and the spell even backfired. She did not respond to my summon, no way she could've. I then tried to develop a potion to temporarily boost my Magicka supply to even hope to summon her. For your information, I mixed Ash Yam with Bloat, both of which are uncommon, yet relatively inexpensive ingredients. Only Ash Yam grows on Vvardenfell though; Bloat might be cheaper on the mainland where it's more prevalent.

When I finally succeeded, Staada mocked me for my supposed weakness. She did encourage me to try harder though, and even tapped me on my shoulder saying that I'll get better. That's so very kind of her.

I also asked her if she's mad at me, or us. Surprisingly, she said no. She just absolutely hates losing, especially to men, especially mortal men. It's not that she hates men either, or so she at least claimed. It's just that in Aureal culture men are seen as inferior or something. Their culture is extremely matriarchal, if that's the correct word. They also see themselves superior to mortals, which makes unproven mortals only worthy of their scorn. Me? Well, I supposedly have proved myself to her enough for her to give me a chance.

Besides, she admitted that adventure on my side sounds exciting. Why? She said she actually likes me, saying there's something about how I carry myself she likes or something, she had no real reason. As for Aliya and my big bro? Well, she didn't outright say that she dislikes them, but said she feels like she should be wary around them. In Aliya's case, she says that her gut tells her to distrust anyone who serves Azura, but I'm sure she'll warm up to her. The reason she distrusts my brother is a little more self-explanatory. I mean, she doesn't like men, or at least so it seems, and Karim also banged her. It may not have been entirely consensual intercourse either, so… Yeah… I feel bad now, because Staada seems like a good girl…

Anyway, tomorrow we're traveling to east coast for an assassination job. In addition to the job I've already had for some months already, I also have one new target in the same area, which is great. Severa Magia is expecting a report from me, she sent me a letter stating so, saying I've been too quiet. I hope she'll accept my apology when I say I've been helping a close friend of mine. Severa also hinted that she might have another special gig for me, one that could benefit from my Morag Tong connections. I wonder what she means? Anyway, assassinations come first. Best of luck to me, I guess.

It sucks that Karim can't come, but he has some actually important work now. The Legion is working alongside House Redoran to weed out Sixth House cultists or something. They found another base and are planning to raid it. I hope he'll be safe…

Morning Star, 4th, 3E 428

Two of my targets lie dead at my hand. Didn't even need help, nothing exciting to write about them. Both of them were Ashlander Bandits; Sarays lived in a cave, while the other one lived in a tent. The other one's name? Odai-something, too complicated. I can barely handle some Imperial names; Dunmer with their long and complicated names just give me a headache.

After that, I traveled to Ald Sotha with Aliya. Surprisingly, before I could even walk inside, Severa approached me outside instead. She didn't seem to even mind Aliya's presence. She just said that we're going on a little walk and that we can chat on the way. As such, I delivered my report to her verbally.

She was very understanding when I said that not only have I been extremely busy, but that I've also had to be very careful with how I approach my work, as well as when I feel ready to do them. She reassured me that she's not mad at all, and that there's no rush at all when it comes to this line of work. "Planning and preparation are the key, no matter how long it takes", she said. She also guessed correctly that it's Aliya that I've been helping. She didn't ask why, nor did she seem distrusting of my friend. In fact, she said that right now she may even trust her, a complete stranger more than those people who've been safeguarding her and her allies in Ald Sotha.

Dark Brotherhood and the Dagonists may be allies right now, but that's been in the past thanks to shared values and missions. These days though, it feels like the goals of our "allies" are straying further from what the Brotherhood wants, and maybe sometimes even being in pure opposition. I mean, yeah, they worship to entirely separate entities to begin with. Dark Brotherhood worships Sithis, while Dagonists are devout followers of Mehrunes Dagon. I always thought it was strange that they've been allies in the past, but whatever.

Severa handed me a strange little glove, a real pretty one at that. It didn't look like much, but she assured to me that it is indeed a daedric artifact. Yeah, seriously. What I held in my hands was the Glove of the Sanguine Swiftblade. It's part of a larger set consisting of twenty-seven pieces of clothing and jewelry, a priceless collection created by Sanguine to honor Mephala's most devout followers. This set is invaluable to the Morag Tong, and they did in fact have it in their collection up until some five years ago, when the Dagonists stole them.

"And now, I recently learned that this little thievery has been pinned on me", Severa said with a mocking tone. "If I didn't know them any better, they're looking for a convenient excuse to get rid of us and start drama with us. Our alliance to them may have been meaningful in the past, but it doesn't seem like they want us anymore."

I wasn't sure of her reasoning her or why she believed this was the case, so I asked her about it. She just said that they have some big plans for themselves, plans that they've rather secretive about, plans that do not involve the Brotherhood. They've even been recruiting a lot, gaining in numbers. There's even talk of the local Dagonists working with another cult dedicated to Mehrunes Dagon's service called Mythic Dawn. They could also be one and the same, Severa doesn't know, but Mythic Dawn is apparently more prominent in Cyrodiil. All she knows is that for the Brotherhood's survival's sake, something has to be done about this.

"Take this glove to Eno Hlaalu", Severa said. "Say you heard of how it was stolen from Morag Tong, tell him that you looted it from the corpse of a Dagonist. Don't say a word to him about the Dark Brotherhood, even if he asks about them or mentions them. Just play dumb if you do. It should be able to divert his attention from us towards the thieving Dagonists."

This is not at all the kind of mission I was expecting from Severa, not really a job that sounds like your typical Dark Brotherhood contract, but okay! This may mean that we're effectively returning the piece back to Morag Tong, but that's fine, at least according to Severa. Tomorrow, I'll go visit Eno Hlaalu. I hope he eats every lie I'm about to feed him.

Morning Star, 5th, 3E 428

This was supposed to be just a quest to misdirect Morag Tong's attention and get them off Dark Brotherhood's ass a little bit, but it's growing up to be a little bit more.

Eno Hlaalu seemed skeptical of my words, but he did indeed recognize the glove, and seemed to believe my words in the end. He said that this needs to be put on a test though. He's been on a personal mission to retrieve the "Threads of the Webspinner" himself, a mission that has even held him for retiring even though he's clearly in his twilight years, and he asked me if I was interested in helping. "You could raid one of Dagon's shrines", he said. "If you can find one there, it could prove that it is indeed Dagonists that did this, rather than those sick death cultists of the Brotherhood…"

He gave us a location of one shrine which is somewhere in the north-western corners of Vvardenfell. Should be easy to locate, as it's been partially sunken. He also gave me a contract on some guy living in the stronghold of Hlormaren west of Balmora, as well as some outlaw who lives in Gnisis.

Severa seems to be okay with me following along with raiding that shrine, but warned me to be extra careful. She gave me a pass on these two targets as well. They're nothing more than bandits, she said. We'll start with that place near Balmora after visiting home.

Morning Star, 7th, 3E 428

So, I had my first period yesterday, which is why we haven't departed on our little trip yet.

Since I did have my period, at least that means I'm not pregnant right now. When was it that I last had sex anyway? It shouldn't matter for now, but it was like what… Two to three weeks ago? I haven't had a chance to bed my brother since then sadly, or anyone else for that matter… Maybe in hindsight that's a good thing? I don't think I'm ready to bear his child. Then again, if he did tell me that he wants to impregnate me for real… Oh gods, I might actually go along with it, wouldn't it? It's a little messed up, even I admit it… Messed up, but also pretty hot… I don't believe he would want that for me. Being a parent does not suit adventurer's life, and I'm not ready to hang my coat quite yet. I mean, I'm just getting started in my life as an adventurer and an assassin!

Besides, isn't being fertile more of an annoyance than anything? I mean, it's just another way life tries to make me a slave to my biology, just another thing in life that's going to be hard to control. Not sure if I like it, if approached from that point of view. Yeah, I know it's supposed to be kind of a happy thing, a sign of me growing up and becoming an adult woman… But I just don't really see it as such. At least not at this point in life.

This begs the question, what to do about it? Can I do anything about it? Lucky for me, the answer is yes. I don't have to accept being a "slave to my biology".

There are some ways you could prevent pregnancies from happening altogether, but these methods can potentially damage your body in a permanent manner and make you infertile. I'm sure it works out for some, but not me. What if I changed my mind? I'm fickle, you know!

Alchemy is one such method. Maybe there is a potion that could prevent that from happening without any negative side effects? Might be worth studying, but to my knowledge, there's no effective method known to mortalkind. I really wish there were though. The idea of killing unborn babies doesn't sound too appealing…

The only solution really is the termination of pregnancy through magic. One popular method involves using Soul Gems to terminate the pregnancy safely, but it has to be at the right time, and Soul Gems are expensive anyway. This is the only good solution I found out from my mortal friends, like from the books that Aliya helped me loan from the Mages Guild, but still not good enough for me.

Then, I remembered Staada, and summoned her posthaste.

I mentioned the orgy she was having a while back on that island, and asked if she knows something about being able to prevent or terminate pregnancies. I mean, those daedra fucked her quite a lot. She claimed that none of them actually were allowed to cum without their mistress's permission, and that she and her pals had been using Conjuration magic to suppress those beasts from being able to ejaculate. Basically, vasectomy through magic. It sounds scary… And honestly, against mortals, especially when being raped, it doesn't even sound practical. I reminded her that she had begged Karim to not cum inside her either, suggesting that she could get pregnant. It's true that it's possible, she admitted, but she never feared that either. She just didn't want his cum because he didn't want some human to have his way with her. Yeah, I should've figured that one out…

Either way, she said that all of this is linked to Conjuration magic. There's supposedly an entire sub-school within the college of Conjuration devoted to "sexual magic", if that makes sense… Or maybe a class inside a school… The point is, that school of magic can be used in some pretty perverted and lewd ways! Now that I think of it, it does make sense. Just ask yourself, are all those otherworldly creatures really summoned for combat, or can you also summon them for the sole purpose of getting dirty? I bet quite a few men out there have summoned some Dark Seducers just so they could fuck them. You can even "loan" male reproductive organs to grow a dick, and "wield" it as a female. Think about it, girls can have dicks too! That's crazy!

Anyway, I'm not getting sidetracked for nothing: this class of spells absolutely does contain a spell that can be used to remove, eject or clean semen, and even remove fertilized eggs before they start seriously growing up. A real positive here of course is that there's, no need for tools, gadgets or expensive Soul Gems. It can be argued that these spells have more in common with Destruction magic, but honestly, sometimes the lines between schools of magic can be blurred. Some argue Soul Trap spell is a Conjuration spell too, even though I've always used it as a Mysticism spell.

Staada fortunately knows this spell, although she can't teach it to me, at least not yet. She's not the best of teachers, or so she says, claiming that it's not really something that you can just teach something anyway. "You just need to learn to do it your way", she claimed. Not sure how though…

Staada also said she wants to travel with us too. I mean, sure, but I can't just keep her summoned forever… Keeping her on Tamriel takes a toll on me, but I think I can take her at least on that trip to Hlormaren after we leave tomorrow.

End of current content.