JoS/Kanna/10th Journal - Ashlands

Sun's Dusk, 6th, 3E 427

No shortage of work here on the west coast. Kanna was in trouble, and Karim needed help with that desperately, but fortunately, that's all in the past now. I've been able to sit back and relax for a while now.

Caius was a little mad at me for disappearing for such a long time though, demanding answers from me. I admitted to him that I've been working for House Telvanni, didn't see any reason to lie about that. I did have to lie about what happened to me, so I just said that work there turned out to be a lot more effort than I bargained for, which is why I hadn't been able to return here to the west coast. I thought he'd get even angrier at me, but he just congratulated me on being able to get into that organization. According to him, it's good for the Blades and the Empire to have more eyes and ears in that part of the province. Blades don't even have any agents working on the east coast!

Honestly though, I'm not doing this for the Blades. I'm doing this for myself.

Then, it was time to discuss the work I do do for the Blades, collecting information about that same old prophecy. I actually had the heart to ask him why this is important, and while he couldn't provide me with an answer, he did give me a promise: "All will become clear soon enough."

Fine…

Anyway, Caius says we're going to need an Ashlander informant to learn more about the Nerevarine prophecy. He's been avoiding this route but feels like we have no other choice at the moment. He has a person in mind, a wealthy man who left his tribe to set up a shop in a big city. He could perhaps be persuaded into giving up information, but it likely won't be easy. Or cheap. His name is Hassour Zainsubani, and he's a businessman living in Ald'ruhn. Caius suggested I might want to get him a gift if I intend to learn anything from him, but I'm not sure what he meant by that.

Caius was still cross with me for not being honest about my intentions from the get-go and said that I should've consulted him about joining Telvanni first. An apology wasn't gonna cut it, so instead, he proceeded to punish me by - and I quote - "tapping that ass". Yeah, he wanted me to serve him and his cock in bed.

I suppose that's all fine by now… I've even grown to like having sex with him. It's kind of fucked up when I think about it: I've been effectively taken from slavery, and now I'm okay with all this stuff. Any sane girl would be traumatized for life by those experiences, and in a way, I'm traumatized too, but I've grown more perverted at the same time. Exploring my sexuality is actually a lot of fun, as long as it happens on my terms. I've learned that many times on this island.

As I haven't been writing, I haven't gotten across doing my job for Caius, but I'll finally ride to Ald'ruhn tomorrow. I think I've had enough of a breather now. Kanna and Karim will now have their private time too. Yeah, I know they shag. Not sure why they're so secretive about it with me since I don't even care if they bang despite being siblings. Maybe they think I do, but it can also be embarrassing to bring it up. Whatever, I guess. I'll continue pretending I don't know anything if it makes them feel better.

Sun's Dusk, 8th, 3E 427

Ald'ruhn is a city about the size of Balmora, located around the western Ashlands in the shadow of the Red Mountain. It's well-known for being the seat of the council for House Redoran on this island, as well as for this "building" they call Ald Skar. Legend says it's actually a shell of an Emperor Crab, but I think that's nonsense. Do you mean to tell me that crabs that large used to exist in this world? I find that hard to swallow. It houses several stores, living spaces for the wealthy, and headquarters for Redoran inside its "shell". Ain't no crabs on Tamriel that big!

It's not just Ald Skar, by the way, as the architecture of the whole city is inspired by bugs, crabs, and shells. It's a strange city, even weirder than Sadrith Mora if you ask me. Being regularly tormented by volcanic ash-storms, it's not a place I would ever want to live in anyway.

Its interior spaces are rather cozy, as I noticed when I entered an inn named "Rat in the Pot". Is that reference to a dish? Hope not. Eating rats sounds disgusting. Anyway, the clay architecture, paintings, and interior greenery make these places a lovely change of pace from the grey and the gloom outside. Oh, and even though I had never been to this place, I knew I was walking into the territory of local thieves, thanks to Habasi telling me where to find work in any of the major cities. Hassour - the guy I came to interview - just happens to be a guild member himself, a funny little coincidence.

Aengoth the Jeweler - the local Mastermind for the guild - and Hassour were having a talk, both being rich businessmen in their own right. Hassour is a gentleman with a deep and pleasant voice as smooth as butter, while Aengoth is this short little Bosmer man with a nicely combed beard. They allowed me to interject myself into the discussion about an urgent job that needed to be handled, and they had an idea.

Aengoth told me that those mages at the guild are planning a little field trip, something about field practice. Nothing I've heard about myself, considering that I've distanced myself from most of their services. Anyway, he says that someone should go and pick up some of the loot that is left behind unattended. Namely, he talked about a certain enchanted tanto, a short-sword inspired by the craftsmen of the oriental continent of Akavir. Aengoth has a client who really wants it. If I stole it, I could also keep everything I wanted from there.

Stealing from the guild I'm a member of doesn't sound too appealing, but at the same time… fuck it, who cares? I certainly don't. If they're stupid enough to leave their guild house empty with riches lying around everywhere, I would be stupid to not take advantage. Stealing is wrong, this and that, blah blah blah, I don't give a Guar's shit. It's their fault for not looking out for their stuff. Besides, Aengoth said that this specific merchant I'm stealing the tanto from should be taught a lesson anyway, as he's supposedly violated some paid contract that he had with Aengoth, a deal that exists between the two guilds as a whole. He deserves a little bit of what's coming for him!

I also got to talk to Hassour privately, but he says that he's left the wastes behind and is not too keen to talk about the customs of the Ashlanders to someone he just met. I guess I really need to bring him a gift? That's what Caius suggested too. I asked Aengoth for tips, and he recommended poetry. "It's our shared passion", he said. "I think I know a book he might be missing from his collection: Words of the Wind."

Well, that's that. I'll return to this task tomorrow. For now, I'll wait for the night, when I'll go loot that empty little guild house.

Sun's Dusk, 10th, 3E 427

There was, sadly for me, one member who had been left behind at the Mages Guild, so I couldn't just waltz in like I originally planned. I could've just walked in and pretended that I had no idea what was going on, explaining to this Breton that I'm with the guild and looking for work or something, but nah, I wasn't willing to let myself get seen. If he knew I was there, he would've known exactly who robbed the place. So, instead, I allowed myself to enter through a small window.

As my luck would have it, I found the little chest the sword was in, along with a whole store catalog of a merchant who owned it. Potions and herbs worth at least a thousand… this should suffice as payment! Made me one happy girl! I also went through her bookshelf, and wouldn't you know it, she even had this rare book of poems that Hassour wanted! By Nocturnal's voluptuous curves, it's like Lady Luck herself had placed them all right underneath my nose! I'll pray to her tonight and praise her for blessing me with her infinite fortune.

Sadly, not everything was going my way. The chest was trapped. It wasn't anything that could get me killed, but the poison and the slight paralysis were enough to put me completely out of commission, making escape impossible too. It's a good thing I had a potion with me, crafted for me by my lovely little friend Kanna. I mean, of course that's a good thing, right?

Oh, that little bitch is playing pranks on me. She had laced the damn potion with an aphrodisiac! Now I understand why she was giggling so eerily when she gave me half a dozen of these "travel vials" and told me to glug up their fruity contents if I'm stuck by a deadly bug or some other venomous animal. It did help me get back on my feet, but by the time I made it back to that tavern with a weird name, I was feeling bothered, distracted, and quite honestly, dripping wet. It's not pleasant walking around the town with no spare panties and a constant throb in your groin. All I could think of was sex and dicks.

I met with Hassour again, presented him with a gift, and insisted that what I wanted to talk about was really important. He was happy with me, even gave me a head pat - treating me like a god-damn child! - and said he'd chat with me as much as I wanted. He was way too dense to realize I was horny though, or maybe he did notice it but wasn't into me, or was just trying to avoid offending me.

At least I hope he's dense…

He describes the Ashlanders not only as tribal, but also as the direct descendants of the Aldmer who followed the Prophet Veloth in their exodus from Summerset Isles during the Merethic Era. Sure, they're still the same grey-skinned Dunmer as the rest of the natives, but their traditions and customs have not changed since those ancient days of the High Velothi culture. They reject the doctrines of the Temple and the Tribunal as a whole and believe in ancestor worship in addition to more traditional Daedric worship. To them, the three good Daedra aren't just anticipations of the living gods, no mere spirits, but actual gods to be worshipped in place of the Tribunal. That's what I also believe, not that I worship them or anything, but yeah, they're gods. That's not debatable if you ask me.

Ashlanders don't have a unified leader either, as evident by the fact that there are several different tribes. Instead, each local tribe follows an Ashkhan as their leader, who is seen as their champion. Each Ashkhan also has a small council of warriors and advisors working for him, who take the titles of Gulakhans. And yeah, that's HIM, as only men can be Ashkhans. Each tribe also has a "wise woman", who's a spiritual leader for the tribe. Hassour also talked a lot about their culture and customs in general, and as someone who's lived her entire life in the Empire, it all seems alien to me.

He then described the Nerevarine cult as just a small subset of the Ashlanders, the most notable of which can be found within the tribe of Urshilaku. Their camp is located somewhere along the northern coasts of Vvardenfell, facing the islands of the Sheogorad region. Being nomads, they rarely settle in just one place, but searching there should be a safe bet. He even gave me directions to their last confirmed semi-permanent location, and with that, I went on my way.

Lastly, I delivered the tanto to Aengoth. He said that he was happy with me, but also noticed that something was wrong with me. He seemed rather curious about it, and he was acting strangely flirty too. It was just awkward, because he was acting like some senile pervert desperate to get laid, despite being pretty young. I considered doing it with him for a moment, but in the end, I thought it'd be way too awkward to have him as a sexual partner, so I just kind of excused myself quietly from that situation and rode a Silt Strider back to Balmora.

As soon as I got back home, I approached Kanna, annoyed, calling her out on her little prank, asking what in Oblivion she put in it. She acted very apologetic, but I could tell it was a ruse. It was so obvious she wasn't sorry at all! She just joked about how she might've forgotten to tell me about side effects, giggled, and said that it should be no problem at all. She actually tapped me on my ass twice and told me to just do something about it.

When I told Karim what his sister had done, he just sighed and asked if I wanted him to do anything about it. It was a little embarrassing to say it out loud, so I just leaned toward him and whispered it instead. You know, we hadn't done it in a while, so why not do it again?

I really don't even know why we don't do it more often. I'm into him, and he's into me, so why not? He's so big, so damn good too. We didn't bother long with foreplay; in fact, the only thing we did was kiss and caress each other while we undressed each other. Me sitting on his lap led us to the first position too, no need to lay down or anything like that. I just rested my body on his muscles and his shoulders, enjoyed having him wrap those big arms around me and grab me gently, and I rode his dick in this position. Thanks to having been horny all day, I came so many times, but I was still just hungry for more. Of course, I let him cum inside too.

I could tell he was still raring to go, so I cleaned his dick with my mouth, holding the still-erect cock with both hands, and running my tongue across the shaft. He was caressing my cheek, ran his fingers through my blonde hair, and I felt him touch my earlobe too. I asked him if he likes fucking his little elven slut, supposing a little bit of dirty talk could motivate him for round two more. I even described myself as a slave to his cock, begging him to fuck me like a whore.

That's what he did. He pinned me down on the bed, grabbed my ass, and did me from behind, trying to slam his cock balls-deep with each powerful thrust. It was clear that he was fucking me with all his strength, as hard as he could, but there was no pain, only pleasure. I was moaning louder than I can recall in a very long time. He threatened to fuck me so hard I won't walk in a week! Well, he at least succeeded in making sure I wasn't leaving his bed until morning, until he willed it, and used me throughout the evening late into the night until he eventually fell asleep, way too tired to continue.

Meanwhile, Kanna was suspiciously quiet throughout the whole night. I wonder if she was jealous? Oh, who am I kidding? Of course, she's not jealous! This probably was that little pervert's plan all along! I bet Karim was in on it too! I bet she was even schlicking herself while spying on us fucking, wishing she was there in my place.

Oh, and in case you're going to be reading my diary again without my permission… I know your secret, you nasty little bitch. Don't think I don't know you and Karim fuck a lot…

She was smiling so happily at me when she was making us breakfast too, asking if I slept well, promising to warm up a bath for me, and jokingly calling me her sister-in-law. I replied to her positively and joked about maybe having to marry his brother for real, so I could keep him away from her. Luckily, she took it really well. She also asked if I was angry at her, and honestly, as annoyed as I initially was yesterday, I'm quick to forgive her. I can't stay mad at her.

That's not to say I appreciate her playing practical pranks on me, as they could get me in real trouble in the future. I might have to get back at her sometime later with a prank of my own…

Sun's Dusk, 11th, 3E 427

I returned to Caius, and instead of giving me time, he said I should seek out the tribe Hassour mentioned immediately. However, that's not all. When I eventually approach them, I will be telling them something very, very specific and shocking. This something shocked me as well. Here's a brief recreation of our hour-long talk.

He told me to sit down, and so I did. He had a serious look on his face and asked me: "Have you ever wondered why it is that the Emperor ordered you to be released from prison?"

"Well, yeah, I have. It still puzzles me to this very day… but didn't you say it was to help you collect all this information for this, uhm… research?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't explain why he picked you in specific", Caius said with that usual, stone-faced expression of his. "The truth is, you relate to the Nerevarine prophecy."

"…Excuse me… what?"

He handed me a letter. "Here, this is the very letter that was included inside the package you gave me, except it has been decoded. You should read its contents carefully."

I did as was asked, with my heart pumping hard. I had no idea what he was talking about, but the letter explained it all to me. I had to read it at least three times, because my mind just wandered off constantly while trying to piece it all together. It said what I already knew: I was meant to join the Blades under Caius's leadership and described the prophecy - or the "local superstition" - in one simple sentence. Then, it went on to claim that I have "the appearance of meeting the conditions" of this prophecy and that his majesty, the Emperor, is taking the matter extremely seriously.

So, in short, the Emperor thinks that I'm the Nerevarine. I refused to believe the letter at the time, telling myself over and over again that this had to be some kind of prank set up by Caius to test me, but fuck me, he's being serious. He and the Emperor really seem to think I'm the Nerevar Incarnate, and considering everything I've heard about him over the past few months or so…

Holy shit, I just can't believe this, and I don't mean that only as a figure of speech. Like, I literally don't believe this is true.

"An orphan and an outcast, a youth born on a certain day to uncertain parents", I read out loud, reciting parts of the prophecy. "That doesn't really explain how I have the appearance of the meeting conditions, whatever that's supposed to mean."

"Well, I can't comment personally", he said, picking up a Skooma pipe from the floor with his shaky hands. "I have my suspicions about you myself, but the Emperor's informants and confidants have taken this seriously enough for them to spend resources on this and to put their trust in you. They wouldn't do this if they didn't think there was something to this prophecy."

"But I know who my parents are…" I commented.

"Well, at least you think you do."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Can you be sure? You told me yourself that you were separated from your mother when you were young. Are you sure you remember everything correctly? Can you even be sure she was your real mother?"

Those words got me thinking, as I really can't be sure. I've believed all my life that woman was my mother, and I still believe that, but that's all it is, a belief. I can't know for sure because gods only know what happened to her after her arrest. "Then, what does this mean for me?"

"I don't know. It's hard to say. I certainly don't believe that you're going to reunite all the houses and the tribes to drive out the invaders of Morrowind, whatever that's supposed to mean. No offense to you or your abilities, but I just don't see it happening. Of course, if you are a genuine article, who knows? According to the information you've already gathered, Nerevar did it once. Who's to say it can't be done again?"

Well, Caius is definitely right about me not wanting to drive out all the n'wah, as many of the more xenophobic Dunmer would like to believe, but since the text here says invaders rather than outlanders, who's to say that it can't refer to a collective enemy, like the false gods? Or maybe it's referring to some other enemy, like the Sixth House, for example? Dagoth Ur is considered an evil being by the Dunmer, so it would make sense. I can't imagine it referring to the Empire for sure, but maybe it could refer to those other things.

As I wrote earlier, I still can't believe I'm the Nerevarine, but I must continue my quest to gain more information on the subject regardless. Caius said that I should be honest about this prophecy when I meet up with the leaders of the Urshilaku tribe, and claim to be the Nerevarine. They will likely test me and challenge my claim. No, not just likely. Definitely. This is THEIR prophecy, after all, the very thing they've named their cult after. They will take the matter extremely seriously and with extreme caution, and maybe even with extreme offense.

Fuck me, I'm so nervous… I talked to Kanna and Karim already, telling them everything, and he said they'll both accompany me on this journey. Like, he just straight up said he'll drop everything he's been doing and said that he will accompany me on my trip no matter what. And since Kanna can't be left alone yet, she'll have to come too. I won't object to either of them coming along at all.

It's going to be a long road through the Ashlands, and we likely have to sleep in the wilderness too, so we're gonna pack a lot of extra stuff. That's not even taking weather into consideration yet, as those ash storms can surprise travelers from out of nowhere. Not sure how much food we'll find either, but we will, at the very least, survive. I hope.

Sun's Dusk, 21st, 3E 427

I didn't have time to write properly on my trip, which was just about as harsh as I expected it to be. Maar Gan was the furthest we could go on a Silt Strider, and after that, we walked by foot towards no man's land. On the first day of the trip, we made it to a small cave and turned it into a makeshift camp, and had ourselves a safe night along with a fulfilling meal. Never thought Nix-Hound could taste so yummy.

On the second day, we were tormented by a nasty ash storm. We battled through the wind blowing to our faces for a while until we felt like we had to retreat to a Dwemer ruin for shelter. By the time the storm died down, it was already too late to continue.

We ended up keeping ourselves busy by locking ourselves in a tower and playing nine-holes for a while. We gambled by playing truth or dare and ended up revealing some secrets to each other. For example, Kanna said she'd love to marry her brother to my face, and claimed she's actually been chosen by Mephala as one of her many mortal champions, even showing us her new shiny ring as proof. Like, what the fuck has she been doing while I was away!?

I only lost once, so I came out of the closet as a bi-sexual and admitted that I find girls sexually attractive. Karim just responded by saying, "we know", and told me to say something else. It bugged me off because I've never admitted to him that I'm bisexual. Or have I? I can't even remember anymore. The problem is, I don't really hold secrets from them, so instead, I talked about how Mistress Therana made me breed Kwama eggs. They both seemed concerned at first, and even though there were times during that crazy fever dream I was freaking out a little, in hindsight, it was actually quite an enjoyable experience.

We weren't interested in making Karim tell us any secrets, so instead, we just bombarded him with dares. Yeah, he lost a lot. He's not as smart as us girls are, and we ganged up on him too. We essentially made him scout the ruins for us and come back with treasure over and over again. He didn't seem to mind, as these tiny ruins didn't seem particularly dangerous. He still didn't appreciate us playing by our own rules, so when he eventually won, he responded by forcing Kanna and me to make out. I was okay with it, but my worry was that Kanna wasn't as much into other girls as I am! Surprisingly, she was happy to go along with it. She was the one who actually came for me before I could even ask her about her thoughts! Kanna kissed me on her own! That was just one lip-to-lip kiss though, as we proceeded to give each other an even more intimate, wetter, and juicier tongue kiss. We couldn't stop until Karim was satisfied, which was only after like two minutes or so.

Ah, I can't believe I actually kissed my best friend, especially on the same day that I admitted to being a bi-sexual… and while I'm so glad they don't look at me as any less because of it… Kanna definitely looks at me differently. She didn't say anything, but she was quietly teasing me, that much I'm sure of. Makes me wonder, could those two be interested in some threesome once we get back to Balmora? Karim would agree, that much I'd bet my life on, but Kanna? Is she actually into girls? The way she kissed me suggests she could be, but for some reason, I'm afraid to ask…

All in all, that's definitely not how I expected that day to go, but whatever! It was fun!

On the third day, we reached the northern coasts where the barren Ashlands meet the equally barren Sheogorad Isles. We're talking about a HUGE geographical region with a TINY population, with half of the people living there probably being necromancers, vampires, crazy Daedra worshippers, and other outcasts of polite society. The weather looked beautiful, but it was a nasty mix of cold winter breeze and hot volcanic wind. How have these Ashlanders managed to live here in the middle of absolute fucking nowhere throughout the years? I would go crazy in less than a month!

We found a good campsite of our own, and I left Karim and Kanna to set it up while I scouted the area. I found the Urshilaku camp nearby, which was incredibly lucky. It was only fifteen minutes away from our own camp, almost by the sea, in the shadow of some old Daedric ruin, probably another shrine to Mehrunes Dagon. There are a lot of those in Morrowind.

Then, on the fourth day, I approached the tribe alone, making sure to follow all the proper protocols and customs to not offend or alarm anybody. Just like you can't enter random people's homes uninvited anywhere on Tamriel, I couldn't just barge into any yurt I wanted, especially not into yurts of anyone important. I had to follow a "ladder" - if you will - and take each step carefully to not slip and fall back down. Nobody was willing to talk to me first, even though I made sure to not present myself as a threat. They just stared at me, quietly and wary, almost as if telling me to go away. It was then that I found a man sitting beside a small rock. He looked hungry, thirsty too. I offered him a flask of water and a small snack, and he thanked me dearly. I had finally found someone willing to lend me an ear.

He did not believe a word I was saying about maybe being the Nerevarine, but he also said that I'm awfully well-spoken and well-mannered for an outlander, and above everything else, respectful and sincere, saying I wouldn't come all the way here for no reason. He took me to one of the Gulakhans, who in turn interviewed me before deciding if I would even be worthy of meeting their Ashkhan. It didn't take much convincing, so I was soon face-to-face with the chieftain himself.

Sul-Matuul is his name, and we sat down, talking to each other at length. He commented that someone who's not part of the Nerevarine cult cannot be the true Incarnate, and as an outlander and an outsider, I'm by default not part of that cult. Additionally, he said that he's not, at the end of the day, qualified to even judge whether I am the Nerevarine or not, as only the wise woman has the final say on the matter. He didn't let me see her, not at that point anyway, but he gave me a chance to prove exactly how committed I was to this thing.

He could adopt me as a clanfriend of the Urshilaku tribe, which would allow me to join the cult, but only, and ONLY if I could pass a test of his own. All I had to do was retrieve his father's bow from their tribe's burial caverns. We're not talking about adoption in the traditional sense of the word, fortunately, so it's not like these guys were gonna become my family or anything…

Now, if you're thinking, "that sounds easy", you'd be fooled, exactly like I was. Sul-Matuul said he knew I didn't come alone, saying they knew of our little camp and that they weren't allowed to help me. I had to complete the task by myself. Even still, I didn't think that place would be that dangerous. Oh, how wrong I was. The vengeful spirits of the past weren't welcoming toward me.

On the fifth day, I entered the cavern, having had a day for resting and preparation, and I fared well at the start. Rats near the entrance, skeletons, and ghosts didn't prove too problematic against me. I could also conquer all the natural barriers like underground lakes, cliffs, and ledges with Alteration magic. Don't have to get your feet wet when you can walk on water, and don't have to break a sweat climbing when you can levitate!

In the middle of the burial chamber was a large, circular room with a pillar running through the middle. It was like a giant tube or something, with water underneath and a small, rocky bridge leading me up. Several doors led to different parts of the burial, and I had no idea which was the right one. Nobody told me. My gut told me it could be the one at the top, but that's not where I went first. Not sure what mental gymnastics made me pick the first door up the road instead.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary at first. In fact, this part of the burial felt eerily quiet. Because of this, I wasn't being particularly stealthy at the time, and wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings either, which allowed a bonewalker to grab me from behind. I immediately tried to struggle and fight back, but it was too powerful and took hold of my hands, pushing me to the ground. Worst of all, there were more of these zombified creatures approaching me, which made my panic set in. They were fast too, way quicker than I ever anticipated, and before I even realized it, they had me surrounded completely.

With my hands pinned against the floor, I couldn't defend myself. I was on my back, with one of them putting all his weight on my arms and the others trying to force themself on top of me. Kicking just made everything worse, and they eventually managed to get their filthy hands on me, assaulting my clothes. I guess my saving grace was that even though they could've easily killed me and eaten me alive there and then, they actually wanted to rape me.

Not even one minute later, all of my armor and clothes were utterly ruined and in pieces, and in addition to the zombie holding my hands down, only one creature remained on top of me. A rock-hard boner hovered above me, and the creature had a firm grip on my ankles, keeping me from flailing and kicking. I shook my head and screamed no, but they didn't understand or even have feelings beyond lust. The zombie penetrated me, putting all his weight on me.

I knew all that was temporary as they didn't know how to strip me of my magical capabilities, but it didn't make the situation any easier. Pinned to the ground, I didn't even resist because I knew it was all pointless. I just watched that soulless corpse fuck me and suffered internally as my body started to give in to the stimulation it was being forced to take. Soon, he cummed, but another immediately took its place. Another cock raped my soiled pussy, and I moaned in disbelief. This one made me cum too, and the whole thing just felt so draining and tiring. It's like my strength was being sapped away from me by these bonewalkers or something.

Yet another one took its place. I didn't even resist. I just took it. I mean, what else could I have done? I could do nothing. They just continued raping me until I eventually passed out.

I woke up to the sensation of something huge piercing me from behind and realized there was a huge bonewalker fucking me. I wasn't even in the same corridor anymore. In fact, the room I was in didn't appear to have any kind of exit, suggesting that the only way to access this area might've been through an underwater path. They didn't hold my hands down anymore, and my magicka had also replenished, but along with this huge guy, there were also several other zombies around me. I was still hesitant to fight back, so I just let them continue, continuing to get gang-raped over and over again. I was confident that they wouldn't try to kill me no matter what, so I wasn't really afraid of them.

After a while, they finally allowed me to catch my breath. I still felt that attacking them would've been pointless because I couldn't take them all out at once, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to escape either. Chances are, they would've just caught up to me if I tried.

I looked around and noticed five pillars erected across the room, asking myself, what if I got on top of them and attacked the enemy from there so they couldn't retaliate? I had seen similar pillars elsewhere as well, and noticed that you could climb on top of them long before this moment, but the idea just never struck me before. Now, though, it seemed like the most obvious plan since the bonewalkers couldn't cast spells. All they could do was try to get as close to me as possible and wrestle me to the ground at close range. Like, I don't understand why I didn't think of this earlier! Then again, even if I had thought of it before, it wouldn't have helped me escape getting raped in that small corridor, so… yeah…

Water conducts electricity, and fire magic is effective against the undead too. Needless to say, now that they couldn't defend themselves, I could take my time punishing them, laying them back to rest. After that, I dove under the surface to see where my escape route was first, and on the second try, I actually swam through it. I wonder if Alteration magic could help me breathe underwater? Would it be difficult? That could be handy, but I haven't learned that kind of spell yet.

Before leaving, I returned to the spot I was captured and found all my stuff still lying around. I knew those zombies wouldn't appreciate all the wealth I had on me. I picked up my dagger and some of the other pieces of equipment that weren't beyond saving and escaped. I returned to my friends to report my failure… or rather, setback. I wasn't gonna give up! It's not a failure until I say so!

On the sixth day, I tried again, this time being more careful and making sure I wouldn't allow myself to be surprised from behind. As I initially suspected, the right door was the one furthest up. I should've just gone there first. There wasn't any strong opposition waiting for me either. Spirit of Sul-Senipul, the previous Ashkhan's ghost, was guarding his bow, and while he turned out to be a dangerous foe, I was able to quickly banish him with some thunder and lightning. I wrapped his ethereal body in a whirlwind of electricity and sapped him of the lifeforce that allowed him to still linger in our mortal world. Then, I picked up the bow.

Having kept my end of the bargain, Sul-Matuul said he was impressed enough and believes my conviction has been adequately tested. I was granted entry to the wise woman's tent, although I must say, she's not really a woman yet.

Her name was Nibani Maesa, and she's been trained to become a spiritual leader of the tribe from the day she got out of her mother's womb. It's pretty unusual as this kind of training apparently only begins after adolescence, but her sickly, now-deceased mother, needed her daughter to get to duty as soon as possible for the sake of the whole tribe. Credit where credit's due, despite being only ten, she seemed really mature and wise for her age, all of which is, according to her, thanks to Azura's guidance and visions.

We exchanged some pleasantries, but she didn't smile throughout the whole thing. All she cared about were my "outrageous", "preposterous", and "quite frankly offensive" claims. Regardless, she was willing to treat my words seriously and with respect.

First of all, she said there's not such a thing as a single "Nerevarine prophecy", as there are several of them, maybe even a dozen. Some of them are even contradictory. We first went through some that she didn't find at all credible to warm me up for the real test that was about to come.

Her first real test was the question of "a youth born on a certain day to uncertain parents". Well, I am certainly a youth, and the day I was born coincides with the prophecy. The problem is with the uncertain parents part because I knew my mother. Granted, I don't remember her very well, and I never knew my father, and who knows, maybe I've been fed lies. Perhaps the woman who raised me in my earliest years wasn't my true mother. It's hard for me to say. Her answer to this test? It's too ambiguous, as many share my birthday too, but I do technically pass. Still, there's no definite conclusion to be drawn from this. Passing this test means little to nothing.

Her second test was the question of "the moon-and-star", two symbols linked to her patron goddess Azura, the goddess who even Nerevar himself served as a champion according to her. This symbol could refer to a birthmark or the fact that I could be born under them, and I distinctly remember Huleeya's notes to Caius also mentioning something about this in passing. Whatever the case may be, I do not have this mark, and have no proof of ever bearing such a mark, which suggests I am not the Nerevarine. A total bust.

Her third test was a question of what she calls "the Sleepers". This one, we can conclude, is definitely happening, as this relates to the awakening of Dagoth Ur and the Sixth House. Nibani herself acknowledges this as a sign of the return of Nerevar, but just because this is a clear sign, it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm the Incarnate; it just suggests that Nerevarine is out there somewhere and walks among us. It could be someone else, so the answer is inconclusive here.

Then we got to the best-known Nerevarine prophecy, which she calls "the stranger". It's a prophecy in the form of a poem that talks about many of the abovementioned things. It does, to an extent, describe my journey to Morrowind, and I'm most definitely a "stranger" to this land, but this isn't necessarily confirmation either. It's not good enough, as the poem is too ambiguous. Besides, just because it's the best-known one doesn't mean that it's the most credible one. Nibani talked something about the "appeal to popularity" fallacy, and I kind of agree with her on that. I pass, but this isn't enough.

Her fifth trial relates to a question of "the seven curses of Sharmat". She doesn't know what this could be about, but based on my understanding of her ramblings, Sharmat refers to some kind of great, collective evil or something. Does that mean Dagoth Ur, the blight, or something else entirely? She's not sure. I guess it takes a wise woman to admit that she doesn't know everything, but then again, she's still young. Besides, aren't knowledge and wisdom different things anyway? In my opinion, they are. Oh well, we didn't dwell on that for long.

Not going too well this far, ain't it?

Lastly, she told about "seven trials of the Incarnate", another of the Nerevarine prophecies she's not too certain about. She knows the verses but doesn't know their meaning. She read me them, and despite them not being something I've encountered yet, they are what I find the most interesting.

The first verse is about the birth of Nerevarine, which could refer to me. I guess this trial is already past me if I am indeed the genuine article. It's pretty much similar to that whole spiel about a youth being born on a certain day.

The following few verses read something like this: "Neither blight nor age can harm him; the curse-of-flesh before him flies. In caverns dark Azura's eye sees, and makes to shine the moon and star. A stranger's voice unites the Houses; three halls call him Hortator. A stranger's hand unites the Velothi; four tribes call him Nerevarine. He honors blood of the tribe unmourned, he eats their sin, and is reborn. His mercy frees the cursed false gods, binds the broken, and redeems the mad. He speaks the law for Veloth's people; he speaks for their land, and names them great."

Nibani commented: "This prophecy tells us who the Nerevarine will be and the trials he must undergo before he fulfills his destiny." All of this is something that I haven't experienced yet, so it's not applicable. Then again, nobody else on this island has passed the other trials either, whatever they could mean or entail. Some of them are easier to understand than others, that's for sure.

And then, finally, her conclusion? I'm not the Nerevarine, but I could become the Nerevarine. I mean, if I can become that, wouldn't it already make me him? I guess, or maybe not. It all comes down to whatever road I wish to follow.

Before we parted ways, she said that I could maybe try looking for more information about prophecies she couldn't tell me much about, also mentioning several lost prophecies she hasn't even heard of, and suggested that I could try to reach out to the group of dissident priests who have been excommunicated from the Temple for their supposed heresy, as they may know something she doesn't. I thanked her dearly for her time, to which she surprisingly replied by saying: "I hope I'll be seeing you again soon."

From there, we began our long road back to Balmora. This trip took over a week in total, and we just got home last night. We were so tired that we couldn't help but go straight to sleep. I haven't met up with Caius yet either, but I'm sure he's eager to hear about my experiences.

Sun's Dusk, 22nd, 3E 427

I think Caius is jumping to conclusions because he seems confident about the possibility of me being Nerevarine now. That's what the Emperor thinks, and now he's sure about this too? I don't know yet, and Nibani was highly skeptical, although not completely dismissive of the possibility. Caius said that he needs to get in touch with his old friend Mehra Milo from the Temple regarding these lost prophecies, as she is our best clue right now.

Meanwhile, he said that he had a little more dangerous mission ready for me. He has figured out one of the places where the Sixth House cultists could be hiding, citing that it's vitally important to strike against them. Their numbers are growing, people are even being attacked on the streets, and buildings are being vandalized with paintings, sigils, and such. Caius said that there have been reports of murders and rapes happening as well. An Imperial woman, a commoner, was raped and killed by what he thinks are Sixth House cultists just yesterday night here in the city.

Things are getting tense here, that's for sure. Something has to be done about this emerging threat. No citizen, neither born-and-bred nor an outlander, deserves to be attacked on streets like that. He also told me to bring any help I could get along. In this case, it's probably Kanna and Karim. They don't seem too pumped up, but they've promised to help me through this. Besides, going alone on this mission would be dangerous as well.

We should seek out Raesa Pullia at Fort Buckmoth first, as she will fill us in with more details regarding the location of this base. We'll gather details first and then attack in a few days. Can't do anything without a clear plan.

• 11th Journal - Second Trial (By Aliya)