Life Hacks/Go to the Wells' House
When you get to the car, it becomes immediately obvious why she mentioned dusting off. The car was immaculate, inside and out. She must have just had it detailed . . . and from the looks of it by someone very skilled. She goes to the trunk immediately, presumably to put away the sporting gear, but then she shows back up with a soft-bristled brush that looks almost as if it had never been used. You can actually tell that it has been used from the fraying of the bristles, but the brush was factory clean. The evidence was obvious . . . the woman was a neat-freak.
You put Roni down. "Alright kiddo, dust yourself off. We don't want to get Mrs. Wells' nice clean car dirty." Dante was going through the cleaning process as though it were routine . . . which you are certain is an accurate assumption on your part. Roni starts to haphazardly dust herself off as Dante is getting a brushing and a wet-wipe bath in the parking lot. You take the opportunity to straiten yourself out, removing what dust and dirt you can from your clothing, little though it may be; then help Roni to get a little cleaner.
Patricia comes over to the two of you once she's done with Dante and he is in the car to help clean Roni off. As she dusts the girl, Roni is obviously uncomfortable with having to get cleaned up to this extent to get in the car.
"Ugh," she exclaims, "I had a bath last night!"
"It's not going to kill you Roni," you say supportively, "and we're making new friends. You like making friends."
"Fine," she says, "but this counts as my bath today then!"
"Oh no, I'm sure your going to pick up a lot more dirt before bathtime!"
When you are finally clean you all get into Patricia's Nexus LS sedan. Dante seems a little uncomfortable to be sitting in a booster seat while Roni is not.
"Sorry," says Patrica, "I don't have a spare booster seat for Roni."
"That's okay," says Roni, "I'm not a baby." You see the dawning realization on her face of the effect her comment could have on Dante as you see his face sink a bit. "Oh, I didn't mean you were a baby, Donnie . . . I just . . . ummm . . . I'll shut up now."
"Mom doesn't make her sit in a booster seat anymore," you say. "She was getting out of it too much . . . and getting into trouble for it I might add!"
Roni shrugs saying, "Don't cage the tiger if you don't wanna get bit."
"Roni!"
"It's fine," says Patricia, "I'll just drive extra carefully." You doubt she can drive less carefully than she normally does if your analysis of her is correct. "Just keep your seat belt on young lady."
"Yes ma'am," says Roni with a sigh.
Their house is only a fifteen minute ride away. As you approach you are able to accurately predict which driveway you are going to pull into from a block away. The house is, in a word, perfect. You've never seen a tidier yard in your life; and there isn't a spec of dirt on the siding. Their isn't a single blade of grass between the pavers in the walkway, and the lawn furniture even lines up at right angles. You pull into the garage, which is just as orderly, and uncomfortably clean for a garage. You pile out of the car, and wait for Patricia's lead.
"Well," she says, looking you over, "I don't suppose you want to have a cook-out in the back?" She is obviously uncomfortable, fighting between being a good host and her obvious cleaning compulsion. "It's just that I just cleaned," which you are sure she could say any day of the week accurately, "and I don't want to mess up the house. I suppose if you wanted you could take a quick shower and borrow some clothes while I wash yours. It wouldn't take too long to wash and dry them . . . or you could just . . . ummm . . . go without until their dry. There is nothing wrong or inherently sexual about the human body after all. It's up to you."
What do you do?
