A Midsummer Pedo Dream/Go to the meadow where you see a couple of young female elves playing.

The sound of youthful giggling draws you outside where you spot three young elf girls, playing in the meadow.

You walk over to the young elves, not sure what your plan is. But as they spot you, they run over to you gleefully, waving and smiling.

Before you know it, three gorgeous child elves are clinging onto your leg, smiling up at you enthusiastically.

You admire the young girls, almost gasping at their beauty. Aside from their long, elven ears they looked like regular human girls, albeit the most gorgeous you've ever seen, with long, flowing, golden locks, smooth, porcelain skin and gorgeous, bright hazel eyes. Physically, they look to be about 12, but you know that isn't the case.

"How old are you girls?" you hear yourself ask in the musical lilt of elvish.

"I'm almost 200, and they're both 211!" one of them quips.

Holy fuck, they're children by elvish standards. Gorgeous, trusting, illegal, child elves.

What should you do?

• Tell them you have something special to show them in your treehouse.
• Ask them if they want to play a game.