JoS/Henriette/14th Journal - Humiliation
Midyear, 1st, 4E 202
Oh you who I share all my deepest and dirtiest secrets to, do you know what creeps me out the most in the entire world? The way that the courier just knows where I live despite it being one of the most guarded secrets in this part of Skyrim. It's a very good thing that he himself is just about the most secretive guy in the world and that the people who deliver the letters to me through him don't actually know where I live. So… It's fine for now, I guess.
So anyway, I got a bunch of letters today. The guy must've been looking for me for a long time. I usually get a letter just once or twice a week, and most of them from my friends and allies showing concern over some of my transgressions. Nazir, for example, is not a big fan of the fact that I am making a name for myself. An assassin of the Dark Brotherhood is supposed to be secretive and move in the shadows, not be well known to everyone and their mother, but I can't help it. It's not my fault. I try to tell him, but he always just jokingly says that maybe I need a spanking. He's not actually into me though, so it wouldn't be any fun…
Amongst this batch were actually three letters that piqued my interest, and three that I pretty much just discarded into my fireplace immediately after reading them. The first one of them was from Brynjolf in the Thieves Guild. Sadly, it wasn't a love letter. Mercer is apparently very disappointed in me and my lack of involvement, and he wants me to do some work for them once in a while. They have some specific job in mind, but he didn't go into details in the letter. That's the least interesting letter of the three.
The next one was from Delphine. I had almost forgotten about her… But looks like she hasn't forgotten about me. I still seem to live in her head rent-free, despite the fact that she clearly, for some reason, still expects me to prove myself to her. She's delusional, I swear. Anyway, her tone seems to have changed slightly, as she's apologizing in the letter, saying that she just needs to be cautious, she has a lot of enemies and she doesn't know who to trust. She says that she trusts me, but she's just naturally skeptical. She also says that she really needs the help of a Dragonborn, like she really does.
Alright, alright, I'll hear her out… But not before I make her wait a little bit longer. I kind of have to make her wait because the last letter commands my immediate attention. It didn't come from a friend of mine or anyone I even know. Yet, it managed to be the most interesting of them all… In all the wrong ways though. I have a bad feeling about it.
It came from an unnamed, high-ranking "someone" aligned with the Empire, someone from Solitude, perhaps even a politician. The letter said in no uncertain terms that he doesn't just know who I am, but also WHAT I am and about some of the things I've done, and that he has the power to turn the Empire against me if he so wishes. He's looking to blackmail me, but he doesn't want money, oh no… He wants something else, a deal of sorts… I have no idea what that kind of deal would even include, but something tells me that I don't have much room to negotiate here. Odds will be stacked against me, that's for sure.
He wants to meet me to discuss the terms of this deal inside the East Empire Company warehouse. I have until next Fredas to meet him, which is a week from now, and it also stresses that I must go alone. If I fail to meet him by then, or fail to meet any of the other demands lined in this letter, I won't be able to walk freely amongst the public ever again. His words, not mine. Well, I won't be waiting until the deadline. The letter can be used as a writ of passage to the person guarding the door to the warehouse.
I'll mount Shadowmere as soon as the sun sets and ride to Solitude. I told Sofia and Serana that I have an errand to go on and that I must go alone. I trust them with taking care of this place while I'm gone instead of just fooling around.
Midyear, 2nd, 4E 202
I arrived in Solitude just after sunrise. Basically, I made it to my destination in one night. Yeah, my steed is one fast stud, and I'm very proud of him. I had some butterflies in my stomach when I finally approached the guard. I think he recognized me and simply said that I had something to show him. After showing him the letter, he took something from his pocket.
He said that I must wear a blindfold and that it's absolutely required, as I'm not allowed to see who his affiliates are. I resisted at first, but he reminded me that I don't want to be making enemies here, that I have to do as I'm told. I let him pull a black leather blindfold over my eyes, which he then tightened in place with a sturdy lock made of durable nordic steel. He yanked it, testing that it was properly on me, and it sure was… It wouldn't budge, and not even the slightest ray of light could penetrate it.
Then, I was finally escorted to meet the man who wanted to see me.
I didn't recognize him by his voice, but I know that he's an Imperial. He has to be, judging by the tone of his voice and the way he talks. He welcomed me, and he was very polite about it. He also complimented me on my appearance, which at the same time weirded me out a little, as well as made me blush. In his words, he had only heard of his underlings about how I look and that I exceeded his expectations. It was at that point that I kind of already knew what the price for shutting these people up would be, and my heart started beating faster and faster because of it.
And then, what he said made me shiver and skip a beat. He came up to me, standing right next to me, telling me that he also knows that I killed the Emperor. He said that he has all the evidence to prosecute me and that with one snap of a finger, he could make sure I would never see the light of day ever again.
But then, he surprisingly said something else. He complimented me on my accomplishment. He said that he didn't really even care about the Emperor being dead, that it was probably for the best of all of Tamriel this nincompoop was butchered like the pig he was. Yes, that's what he really called the late Emperor.
But someone like me doesn't have to die or rot away in prison, not according to him anyway. He sees me as a useful tool. He wants me to do his bidding and carry out all of his orders, whatever they may be. I am to follow his every wish like a slave and without any objections whatsoever. I will not receive anything in return, and instead, I will simply be able to continue my life in freedom and even pursue my own goals, as long as I honor my deal and the rules given to me. Refusal wasn't an option.
His first job to me was simple. There are a lot of employees in this rat-infested warehouse, guards and laborers alike. They work long hours and long days away from their families with very little comfort and minimal pay. They, however, had done some exemplary work as of late, and in his opinion, they deserved a little reward for their hard work. He wanted me to do the rewarding. So, a gangbang, I thought. That's always a little tiring and demanding, but it requires little work on my part, so it's all easy.
My assumption was a little off the mark, as he wanted to really put me to work and make it as hard as possible for me. First, he made me strip buck naked. So, I did. I went about it kind of slowly, and it was very embarrassing too. I mean, never mind the fact that this pervert is in front of me ordering me around. Who knows who else was there around me? There could've been three, or there could've been two dozen men around me…
Then, as soon as I got rid of my panties, this man was standing behind me, taking me by my wrists, and locked them together with tight cuffs behind my back. He forcefully pressed my face against the cold and stinking floor, and I could hear the jingling of a jewel in his hands. He locked a piercing with a Soul Gem to my clitoris, delighted by the fact that I had already been pierced prior to this. Saved them some trouble not having to pierce me, he said. He also had two additional powerful Soul Gems to use on me, both embedded inside sex toys shaped like plugs. In quick succession, he stuck the first one inside my butthole and the next one in my cunny. I had gotten a little horny at that point, not gonna lie. I have masochistic tendencies, after all. Because of this, the insertions were fast and effortless.
"Now", he said, "let's put that mouth of yours into good use."
Yes, that's correct, my dear diary. They weren't going to just pin me down and do me like some animal. No, I had to suck them all off, one by one, dick after dick, each of which was muskier and smellier than the previous one, and let's not forget, I was still blindfolded and handcuffed throughout this whole ordeal. Some of them were happy to just have me suck and lick them, but others went as far as grabbing my face, grabbing me by my hair, trying to plunge their cocks as deep as possible, all the way down my throat.
It wasn't easy doing it, not easy at all. Giving a blowjob isn't exactly hard. Like, I know how to satisfy a man, but when I can't even use my hands to help and can barely move, it becomes so much harder. Just having the first five finish in my mouth took such a long time. I wonder, were they trying to drag it out on purpose?
I was already so done, but I was afraid to say it. Then this Imperial bastard told me I wasn't even close to being done. Not even halfway through, or even halfway to being halfway done. I felt like crying at that point, but those tears resulted from humiliation and anger rather than defeat and fear… And from that point onward, things became even harder than before.
There was a reason I was given the piercing and plugs that had Soul Gems attached to them. He activated them using his magic to vibrate them oh so softly. I was already on my knees, but now I just felt like collapsing forward and laying down. I wanted relief from those damned plugs so badly. I wanted to cum, I wanted to touch myself, grab them by their hilts and jerk them in and out of my holes, but he never let me go over the edge, and nobody even touched them. He never let me climax. He just kept ordering me, kept telling me to continue sucking those dicks. More men came, more men stuffed their cocks into my mouth. I was so god damned dripping wet, I was constantly twitching, tossing my hips around slightly because they just couldn't stay still. I wanted to bend over, I wanted to get fucked for real. I kept moaning between slurping those shafts. When they pulled out, I begged them to let me cum, but they didn't care. They just continued abusing me, and the worst part was I had no idea how long it was going to last.
When they were finally done, there was just the man orchestrating this event left. He slapped his cock across my face and taunted me, asking me to beg for it. I was so full of lust. I had probably never sounded so lewd in my life. I couldn't even talk properly, I probably sounded like some damned halfwit, but I did what he asked me to. I begged for his cock, and I begged him to please use me, please relieve me of this agonizing pleasure. I wanted nothing more than to cum after him keeping me constantly on edge. I said please, I repeated it so many times, begged him to please fuck me, said that I'd do anything, I'll be his willing slave, he's my Master, I'd really do anything just to feel his mighty cock fill me with its love…
He fulfilled my selfish desire. He removed the plug from my cunny, and he bent me over. Then, with one quick push into my folds, he finally made me feel it. With one mighty thrust of his raging, pulsating cock he finally gave it to me. I swear, no toy or a plug can beat the real thing. The way it slides inside me with ease, the way it twitches with joy, it's enough to make any sane girl mad. He made me cum so quickly without any effort…
He fucked me silly. Oh, he fucked me so good. It was simply the best. His magic kept vibrating the plug in my ass, and the jewel too. The cuffs didn't bother me at all, and honestly, the blindfold just made it all so much better. I could concentrate only on my amplified pleasure and nothing else. It was like all of my other senses had dulled out into nothingness and that he had caught me in a continuous climax. I moaned so much, so loud too. I couldn't shut up for a moment, and I could hardly catch my breath. I think I even squirted all of my love juice all over his cock.
I wished it could've gone for longer, it was honestly just that amazing, but he was clearly horny beyond reason too. He was so rock-hard, his mating instinct had taken him over and he wanted to come inside me. He filled me with such explosive power, he grabbed into me so tightly and pulled my ass towards him. It was such a long and magnificent ejaculation. He then leaned closer to my ear, and he whispered compliments to my ear. "Good job", I remember him saying. He said that I'm not free to go, but I've had a long night and a very exhausting morning to top it off. My body just gave up and I passed out in his arms.
When I woke up later, I was inside a rather luxurious room built on the upper levels of this warehouse, onlooking everything else inside this complex. The restraints and the blindfold had been removed, and they had even moved my items there while I was out cold. He was with me too, but he was wearing a mask to hide his identity, so I have no clue who he could be. He's pretty damn tall though, so he should be recognizable by this factor alone. He's like what, seven feet tall? Like, where do you ever meet Imperials who are that tall? I'm guessing he's somewhere in his forties. He's quite a muscular guy too… Broad shoulders, large back, strong muscles around his arms and legs… Obviously influential and rich too. Yeah, a real alpha male. Makes me wonder, who is he really?
He said that I did a good job earlier today and that what I do with his baby is my choice, but he personally doesn't want to see it or worry about it. Ever. I guess I will go forward with my standard procedure then… He also said to wait for the courier because he has more in store for me. When? He didn't tell. His next job to me was to simply stay out of trouble and stay safe.
So, I got out of that place, and I decided to walk up to the city of Solitude. I should maybe spend a day here since I'm not feeling fit to adventure. I'm still feeling a little groggy, so I'm gonna lie down for a little bit.
Midyear, 3rd, 4E 202
I left the inn after the sun rose. Damn it, yesterday's happenings messed up my sleeping schedule. I was getting used to sleeping during the daytime again… Well, if nothing else, I actually got a chance to do some business in the city.
One thing I noticed right away was that there's a bunch of guards here who view me a little more favorably, for the lack of a better word. There still are some that pretty much just want me gone and keep a close watch on me and my happenings, but others just watch at my butt and make derogatory comments. There's no doubt in my mind that some of these men actually were amongst the people I sucked off yesterday, but there's just no way to know sure.
There were a lot of people I wanted to meet here. Kayd was happy to see me, and he was even trying to get it off with me, but I simply said that now was not a good time. Thankfully, he was understanding, but he's clearly just interested in sex since he had nothing to say to me after he figured out he wasn't going to get laid. Horny bastard.
I also met Viarmo on the streets. Remember? He's the headmaster of the Bards College. He first asked me about Sofia, but also remembered me too. More specifically, he recalled that I'm an adventurer, and he told me that he has a little job for me if I'm interested. He talked about some old book, a really important book that might or might not be located in some ancient tomb to the south of Solitude. Well, it's really only important for the bards here, who want to go on with some old tradition or custom… Something about a mock burning of King Olaf.
I also met another man named Varnius who had heard that I'm an adventurer on passing. I believe this guy lives in Dragon Bridge? I've seen him around, and he must've recognized me… It's a little surprising that he was willing to talk to me though. He told about some strange happenings going on inside a place called Wolfskull Cave just north of Dragon Bridge. He had spoken to the Jarl and her housecarl Falk, but he had a feeling that those people weren't going to do anything. He seemed worried, maybe even desperate. If there truly is something there as he suspects, Falk would be very interested and perhaps even willing to reward me for my trouble.
So, not only one old-school adventure but two? I have nothing better to do, I suppose. Still, I'm not sure if I want to do all of that alone. Oh, whatever, nothing bad's gonna happen. I've gone through a lot of adventures recently, and I'm positive that whatever lays inside these two tombs can't stop me.
Midyear, 4th, 4E 202
I decided to brave Dead Men's Respite alone. It's the burial place of Olaf Ole-Eye, an ancient high-king of ancient Skyrim who used to rule this province from Whiterun, I think…? That's at least what I remember from when I last visited the castle… He was kind of a big deal, but nowadays, he's nothing but a corpse.
This ancient Nordic tomb wasn't really anything to write about, except maybe for the fact that I had the chance to test how much I have truly improved. It's kind of hard to determine your strength in places like these when there's always someone by your side. After all, Sofia is a good fighter and an even better distraction for the enemies to prey on while I do damage from the back. I did find out that alone staying unseen is much, much more manageable. None of the people I have ever teamed up with are as skilled in the art of stealth as I am.
There was one intriguing part about this place though, and that was this friendly ghost who kept walking ahead of me, appearing from time to time, almost as if wanting to help me or lead me somewhere. He didn't speak, and he didn't answer when I tried to talk to him. He barely even reacted. He did show me the way to the book I was looking for. How did he know I was looking for it? Well, whatever, I suppose.
There was only one more room to delve into. I suspected treasure, and I found it eventually, but in front of me was a large horde of undead, along with the tomb of King Olaf. This was when the ghost finally made his stand. He was fixated on this old king, fixated on revenge, and he spoke for the first time, challenging King Olaf to a duel. Then, the Draugr rose from the dead… There were so many of them, and the door behind me was suddenly locked. At that point, I realized that I had made a mistake in coming here alone. There was just no way I could've defeated them alone.
But no, the Draugr weren't interested in me. They were trying to fight the ghost. It was almost as if some kind of bizarre play was taking place before my eyes and that I was simply the audience in all of this, but the ghost couldn't do anything to the Draugr. They were fighting an unkillable phantom. As I realized this was not my end after all, I readied my arrows and opened fire, killing the Draugr, helping this ghost overcome his fight and get his revenge.
Eventually, he was faced with King Olaf in his undead form, having risen from the dead, and we somehow managed to defeat him. After that, the ghost was gone. He just disappeared.
Yeah… I would've probably been badly defeated if it wasn't for his help, whoever that old spirit was. I should probably now take this book to Viarmo, but first, I should probably go check out Wolfskull Cave too? I'll save that for tomorrow and rest for the remainder of the night.
Midyear, 5th, 4E 202
Dear diary, I found a word wall in the middle of nowhere. Okay, it was close to Meridia's shrine, so not exactly in the middle of nowhere… But I honestly wasn't expecting to find one out in the forest! They're usually hard to find! Maybe there used to be a much larger temple or castle here?
Speaking of which, I've learned a lot of words on my adventures… I just don't write too much about them. I still meditate from time to time too to gain more insight into these powers. In other words, I'm really getting more powerful. If only I got to feast on Dragon Souls more often… It feels like my knowledge of the dragon tongue far exceeds my power and capabilities, meaning that there's a lot of untapped potential for me there. I really should spend more time trying to enhance my voice to match my knowledge of it.
Anyway, let's talk about Wolfskull Cave.
In hindsight, I probably should've come here with friends. Don't get me wrong, nothing terrible happened, but it might've been partially thanks to luck rather than pure ability on my part. There really was something going on there, and that something could've had huge ramifications for everyone in Solitude and maybe even beyond.
Necromancers were trying to resurrect the Wolf Queen Potema. I'm afraid I'm not well-versed in history, so I can't tell you all the details about her, but I think Potema was a necromancer in her own right or something? Her real name is Potema Septim, meaning she was related to Tiber Septim. Does that make her a Dragonborn too? Are all of his direct descendants Dragonborn, or just some of them? Oh, and that makes me wonder, what if I am related to Tiber Septim!? Could you imagine!? If so, I should lay claim to the White-Gold Throne, especially since it's vacant currently!
Anyway, these necromancers weren't particularly powerful individually, but their offense was versatile. They had fire magic, they had Draugr and other undead servants, and most importantly, they had numbers. This cult was large. They figured out there was an invader pretty quick, and they were ready to defend the ritual. I had to do a lot of running, a lot of sneaking, and a lot of hiding. Giving my scent away wasn't an option. I guess they also figured out that I was a vampire pretty quick. Necromancers are good with that stuff.
Nevertheless, I made it all the way to the ritual site. The only time I really felt like there was a chance of me getting killed was with a powerful skeleton guardian trying to keep me away. After that, the three people left were pretty convinced they were going to die.
They tried to reason with me, bargain with me. They said that I should join their side, that they see me as an ally, and said it would benefit me as well. They talked about having friends in high places, even inside Jarl's court. However, I wasn't interested. I already have all the friends and powerful allies I could ever ask for, and I don't need these people trying to manipulate me. I killed them.
I hope that's the end of it. I saw the spirit of Potema escape the cave, but I'm not sure what that means. Either way, I'm sure that Falk will be happy when I bring him the news… Will I even be allowed inside the Blue Palace?
Midyear, 6th, 4E 202
It seems that cities have become a difficult task to overcome without getting into some kind of trouble… Well, Solitude anyway. I don't know if this Mister Imperial who's made me his bitch has influence outside this hold. Hope not.
So anyway, what am I talking about? Well, one of the guards stopped me when I tried to enter the city. He said that he knew that I've been adventuring and that Master wouldn't be pleased to hear I've been doing dangerous activities when I've explicitly been told to not do such. He said that he's willing to keep quiet, but only if he could have a little bit of fun with me. I wasn't in a position to refuse, so I let him take me aside.
He stripped me naked, but he wasn't up to doing me himself. He simply just sat down to watch, and he waited. That's when a puppy came to us, a tiny Husky. It was his little doggy. He wanted to watch this little pupper lose his virginity to a real fine bitch.
So, I took its knotty cock deep into my pussy. It was embarrassing, especially when you consider that I could've fought this little creature away at any point, but I just couldn't, not with this guard watching my every move. It wasn't the longest one I've taken, not by far, but it was girthy enough to give me a lot of pleasure, and it's not too often that I'm able to take them all the way to the hilt. What's more, he was so damn fast and aggressive with his movements…
Eventually, his dick started to grow and expand, locking it in place. He turned his body around and started ejaculating. Never knew dogs behave like that. Despite being so small, he came more than men or elves do… And it lasted a long time too. It took time for his dick to deflate to the point it was able to slide out. I wasn't really all that satisfied. I mean, sure, sex always feels good, but he wasn't even able to make me cum… Just moan slightly…
Oh, but then the stupid bastard placed me under arrest, demanding a fee from me for the crime of having committed public infidelity… Nudity and sex in public. I swear, I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill him so bad. I was luckily able to resist my murderous urges because I knew I had to pay up to keep this from escalating… Gods damn it all, I will get back to this piece of shit!
I need to relax again, just as I needed to relax then. It's good that the innkeeper doesn't forbid me from buying mead, although I'm clearly underage.
Well, I went to Viarmo, and I gave him the book. He wasn't too happy to see it in such a bad shape, but I mean, that's probably the last copy of it in all of Skyrim, so it's not gonna get much better than that. We had to improvise a little bit. He asked me to help with that, not sure why. Maybe he got interested in my writing skills when he noticed I keep an extensive journal of my adventures? Like, I can't play for shit, and can't sing either, but I wouldn't be a completely useless bard if I ever became one… Right? I could just stick to writing!
So anyway, we had to make up the story in the parts where the text was undecipherable. I think we came up with a convincing and believable tale together? He was thrilled with my input, which was flattering. Then, after we were done, we presented it to her excellency, Jarl Elisif the Fair herself. And no, I'm not going to call her a High Queen. Not in anyone's presence, not even in hers. It's not that I care or that I'm picking a side. It's just that when that kind of thing is up for contention, I'd rather not piss anyone off… Then again, calling her "just" a Jarl is probably gonna be an issue for some, even though that is literally her official title… Even my neutral stance is going to piss people off… Whatever.
Viarmo wanted to read it to her, and while he did, I did my own business and chatted with Falk. It almost seemed like he wasn't willing to believe me about what was going on in that cave, but he said that it at least spared him the need to send troops there. He did end up paying me a little for my troubles… Just enough for me to cover that fine I never deserved in the first place. Yeah, I'm still pissed!
Well, either way, we're going to go ahead with the burning of King Olaf this night since Elisif liked the little story. Oh, and on that note, Elisif also wanted to talk to me. I was so surprised. She said that she has heard about me, not a whole lot of good things, but for one reason or another, she seems to have a little bit of trust in me. She asked me to do a little task and deliver a horn to a shire dedicated to Talos. It had something to do with honoring her recently deceased husband, something about it being an old funerary tradition. She didn't outright admit to being a believer in Talos, but her personal request all but confirms it in my eyes. Her point was that there aren't any people who she would trust asking this in this castle. Me, though, she can trust with this because she knows I'm an adventurer and politically unaffiliated too. She even gave me a payment in advance, which was a strange red gemstone, which she thought could be of some value to me. She can maybe help restore my name a little bit, so I'll complete this mundane little task for her.
It's a good thing she doesn't know the true extent of my crimes. If she did, she would have me executed…
Finally, I decided to stay in Solitude to see what the burning of King Olaf was all about. Everything went on without a hitch, but I would be lying if I said I enjoyed my time there. I don't like big social gatherings, and I'm not too fond of festivals either. Viarmo and many others at the college are happy though, and I guess that's all that matters. He told me to tell Sofia to visit more often, and I'm sure to relay the message to her.
I was so tired at the end of the day that I just collapsed in the bed. Never had getting proper sleep felt so good. And now, it's time for me to bid Solitude adieu. Something tells me that I won't be gone for long though.