JoS/Henriette/1st Journal - Downfall

Last Seed, 17th, 4E 201

I'm scared.

I was playing outside. My father told me to hurry up inside and go to sleep, but I insisted on staying outside a while longer. That's when they came and pulled a sack over my head. They used some kind of poison, or maybe it was magic. All I know is that before I could even realize what was going on, I was out cold.

They stole everything from me and left me naked in some kind of prison cell. I don't know where I am now, but I feel I'm far from home. I don't even know what time it is, but I've been out cold for quite a while. It's probably morning already.

I'm sure they were vampires though. They bit my neck and drank my blood, so I'm sure. I was so scared, I was sure I was going to die, that they were going to suck me dry and eat me alive, but they talked about making me their cattle, something like that, I'm not sure about that part… I've heard about some of them being able to control people's minds, "seduce" them or something, force them into being their servants… I don't think they've done anything like that to me though. What puzzles me the most is that they've left me alone. It doesn't make sense to me why, not like it matters anyway. I can't get the door open, so I'm stuck here.

I'm afraid I might've contracted "that" and become one of them. I feel a little sick, I guess … I'm not sure. Losing so much blood made me feel weak and fatigued too, but I think I'm at least starting to feel a little better in that regard. I'm just really afraid I might become a vampire myself…

All I could find here is you, dear book, on the shelf along with some ink and a quill, but you probably already knew that you were there. I don't want to start a new diary, so… Perhaps I won't be writing too much here! Or maybe I will. It's a hobby of mine. Thought I'd tell you that since you're my new diary. I used to have another one, but it's at home.

I feel like I shouldn't be wasting time writing though, but it just feels so hopeless. How can I make it out of here? I could try shouting for help, but I doubt anyone would hear me. If only I had tools… Maybe then I could pick the lock and escape…

Last Seed, 17th, 4E 201

I actually managed to find a single lockpick, and I didn't end up breaking it. I absolutely cannot believe it! I'm so lucky! I made it out!

I didn't waste any time getting out of that horrible place. It was scary and dark. I heard whispers too, people talking, if you can even call them people. They sounded like ghosts, not that I've ever heard what ghosts sound like. Maybe the vampires were still in there somewhere?

I took any items I managed to hold onto, but I couldn't find much. I found very little of value anyway, and I didn't find any clothes either, which was a bummer, but I found a dagger. My mother taught me to use a bow, but I've never ever trained with a weapon like this. I can chop veggies and field-dress most wild animals, but those skills don't translate well into combat I'm afraid. I hope I can use it to scare at least some people away, but I don't want to actually use it. When I got out of that place, the sun was already shining bright. I didn't feel strange in the sunlight, so I guess I haven't become a vampire.

I hope so…

As soon as I got out, I heard a wolf howling, and it must've been close by. I didn't actually see it, but I ran like crazy, faster than I've ever run before. I was actually taught by my mother to never try to run away from a wolf like that because they like to outrun their prey, but of course I didn't remember the lesson when I needed it the most.

I was so lucky to find an old mill here in the middle of nowhere. The wolf didn't follow me, thank the divines. The door to the main building was locked, but there was another building next to it. Inside I found two people, an adult man dressed in black leather and a kid, maybe a little older than me, I'm not sure. They told me I had the wrong house, that the owner's house was on the opposite side of the farm, and that they've got nothing to offer, but after I continued to beg for help and tried to explain my situation, they finally provided some. They even had clothes to spare, an old dress from the girl. I hope I can one day repay them.

I asked them where I was and how I could get back home to Helgen. They told me this place is just south of Windhelm, which is so far from home! But luckily, I can take a carriage back home. Maybe I can get some money by selling the junk I found? I hope it's enough.

I'll leave as soon as I get something to eat. Bless these charitable souls, I'm getting hungry.

Last Seed, 17th, 4E 201

I somehow made it to Windhelm unharmed. On the way I even picked up some flowers and plants, hoping I could maybe sell them. I think I was allergic to one of them or something since I felt dizzy after picking it up. Mother always taught me to be careful of picking up herbs and ingredients I know nothing about. I guess this is what she meant.

The carriage is cheap enough for me to afford but won't leave until morning. I also have enough money to eat, sleep and eventually travel. I'm now in the local inn, Candlehearth Hall, but it's too loud to concentrate in here, so I'll keep this short. Besides, people here have taken an interest in me. Who can blame them for being interested in a lone girl without her parents alone in an inn full of drunkards? I'm not sure who I can trust here, so I need to be on guard and not talk to strangers. Perhaps this is my last entry in this journal ever! Once I get home, I'll resume writing my old one.

Last Seed, 20th, 4E 201

Everyone's dead…

Everything's burnt to crisp, to the point of being unrecognizable…

Nothing remains of my home but ash, rubble and stone…

I searched and searched for such a long time, feeling hopeless, and I only found one survivor. His name is Hadvar, and he's with the Imperial Legion, one of the many who came to Helgen because of their work there. He had been injured while trying to escape the town through an old escape tunnel underneath the fortress. He was blabbering on about the rebels, something about Ulfric, how they had escaped, how he managed to kill some of them, and how he was the last one left. For a moment, I thought he meant this was all Stormcloak's doing, but he said "no". It wasn't an act of war, not an attack by the Stormcloaks, Thalmor, or anything like that. It had been a dragon. A dragon killed everyone. I couldn't believe it, and I still can't, but what else could destroy an entire town in a flash, in broad daylight?

We had no time for idle chatter. Hadvar was injured, so I helped him to the best of my abilities. It wasn't much, but I was able to help him. For not simply leaving him to die, he said he'd surely repay me.

He took me safely to Riverwood, where I was offered food and a roof over my head. Haven't done much but cried since. I haven't been able to sleep at all… I haven't talked to anyone… I have barely eaten… I feel so lonely…

Last Seed, 27th, 4E 201

It's been a little over a week now, but it still hurts just as much. It's like my whole world is crumbling down, and nobody's there to pick the pieces up. This world is a mad and lonely place with nobody there to look out for you. I'm still in Riverwood, so at least I'm safe for now. People have talked about a possible adoption, but nobody can afford to keep an extra mouth to feed…

I have talked a lot with Hadvar about what happened. First and foremost, we've talked about that dragon. Hadvar said it had a body size of a mammoth, a wing-span so wide it would put the local inn in shame, and scales as dark as the blackest void. He could've been exaggerating, but based on everything that's been going on, he's sure about one thing: it was a damn dragon!

That honestly makes this all just sadder. I mean, if it was an act of war, I could theoretically just join a side in this dumb civil war to get my revenge, regardless of what that side might be, but that's not so easy here, is it not? We're talking about a dragon. I thought they were a legend! Everyone did! Nobody believed dragons are actually real! More importantly, what does it take to even kill such a dragon? If one lone dragon was all it took for an entire town to burn down in broad daylight, what hope of revenge do I have? None, I feel. I'm probably never going to get to avenge the death of my family and loved ones, which feels so depressing to me.

Hadvar also gave me his condolences for what happened to me and thanked me for saving his life. I really don't think I did, but he certainly believes he was set to die there alone. It's actually thanks to him that people even are considering adoption. It's still unlikely, but at least Alvor, Hadvar's uncle who's been taking care of me with his wife Sigrid, can afford to give me a roof over my head. He also feels obligated due to me saving his nephew's life and not wanting to leave an orphaned young girl to starve. Still, money's tight, so it's unlikely I can stay here long-term. Everyone's struggling to make ends meet in these uncertain times, especially now that the dragons have returned.

The cherry on top of all the awful things that have recently happened is that I feel weak under the sun. I really have turned into a vampire. There's no mistake about it anymore. When I first woke up with it, it was after a strange nightmare. My whole body felt as cold as the night outside, and my heartbeat had become so weak I thought it had stopped completely. It doesn't seem to have happened though. My body still seems to function somewhat normally. It's a strange feeling I can't describe. I'm obviously not dead, but this is what I'd imagine being dead feeling like.

Being outside isn't unbearable or anything, but it's like … I can't recover my strength after taking a sprint, constantly feeling fatigued and out of breath. If in the shade, I felt cold and feverish, now outside in the sun, my skin feels like burning at the slightest touch of a sunray, and my blood feels like boiling if I'm in the sun for prolonged periods of time. I'm sure it won't actually burn me alive, but this isn't good at all. And then there's this strange thirst, this hunger I can't describe in words. There's something more familiar about it, but it's stronger and doesn't make me weak. In fact, it almost feels like it just makes me stronger… But at the same time, so much more afraid.

I mentioned being out of breath, and yeah, I'm still breathing as well. I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it? You need lungs and breath not only to, well, breathe - get fresh air in your body - but also to talk, and probably to suck blood as well… Ahh, that's something I have to think about too, isn't it? I feel terrible just about the idea of doing it to someone… What if I hurt or even kill someone accidentally? I wouldn't want to do that…

There really isn't a cure for this? Am I going to be like this for the rest of my life? The idea of being a vampire, hated and feared by people, hunted by some, wanted dead by most, even though I had no say in becoming like this, is so much to bear. I hope people don't start to suspect me.

I want this to be just a bad dream. All of this. I just want to wake up from this nightmare and go back to living my life like normal. Why did those vampires even capture me? Why did that dragon have to attack Helgen? Why is all this happening to me?

I suppose I should be thankful for being alive… Even though I'm not even alive anymore… I'm undead… Haha, dumb joke…

I don't really know where I belong anymore, but I've tried helping around Riverwood any way I can. There are a lot of nice people here. I mentioned Alvor, the blacksmith. He taught me some things about smithing, and helping him at the forge is the least I can do. He even knew my father, which I guess makes sense given that Helgen isn't too far from Riverwood, but they weren't friends or anything like that.

Delphine at the inn seems a little blunt, maybe even scary. Orgar runs the inn with her, and he's even more blunt, but at least he lets me use the alchemy lab. I'm not sure what their relationship is, but they don't seem to be married. Oh, and regarding alchemy, I know a thing or two, but most of my mixtures keep failing, and my potions are next to useless. Mother taught me how to identify different secret effects some ingredients have, but it's hard. It's also a little disgusting to taste some of the more unsavory ingredients like Troll Fat, not that I had any on me.

Who else has stuck to my mind? Well, the bard, Sven, I just can't bear. I don't care to hear him sing about Ragnar the Red for the hundredth time, so I avoid the inn when he's there. I wish HIS ugly head would roll around on the floor. Alvor has a daughter too, her name is Dorthe. She's been bugging me a lot about playing with her, but so far, I've only let her down. I guess she's not used to having company her age, especially not another girl. There's only one other kid living in this town, and his name's Frodnar. According to Dorthe, he's a bit of a prankster, but he acts shy around me, meaning we haven't talked much. In fact, his dog Stump seems to like me a lot more than Frodnar himself.

What else… Some love triangle? Both Sven and Faendal - some Wood Elf ranger who lives here - are in love with the same girl, Camilla. I have no interest meddling in adults' love affairs, but since Faendal taught me a thing or two about becoming better with bows, I ended up helping him in all of this. Sven is annoying anyway. Then, there's this guy called Hjoromir who was very insistent on helping me, and I don't mean in a nice way. What a creep. I suspect ulterior motives.

And finally, there's this Redguard adventurer who goes by the name Gorr, who I talked with at length. He's really strong and brave, handsome too. He has traveled all over Tamriel and even fought in the Imperial City Arena. He really loves talking about food too. I would love to make him something for brightening my day and spending time with me, but I don't think he would like anything I cook. My daddy always used to joke about me putting too much salt in everything.

I still haven't thought about where I want to go from here or what I should do with my life. I might have to settle down here, but I have to pull my own weight if I do. If they can't afford to just raise me like their own child, I need to put in work. People here are scared about the dragon that destroyed Helgen. Can't blame them. I'm terrified too. It killed my family, everyone I've ever known. Besides, based on different eyewitness accounts, it's not even the only dragon that's appeared. Some have talked about sightings of a red dragon too.

These people here don't have anyone to protect them, and they feel like they need it. If a dragon attacked here, everyone would die for sure. I suppose I could go to Dragonsreach in Whiterun to pay the people of Riverwood another favor for their hospitality. I've always wanted to go there anyway.

Maybe that's for tomorrow?

Last Seed, 28th, 4E 201

I visited Whiterun today, and now I'm safely back to Riverwood! It was actually quite an exciting day, really helped me brighten up my mood. I began my day by getting some travel snacks from the Riverwood Trader. The shopkeeper and his sister were talking about some solid golden ornament in a shape of a dragon claw being stolen. Something about Bleak Falls Barrow? We talked about it a little, but I don't know if there's much I can do to help him.

Traveling through the quiet forest also helped me really collect my thoughts and think about a lot of things. Skipping down the riverside and just listening to the sounds of rapids flowing and wind blowing through the forests without all the noise and chatter of the village was really nice.

To enter Whiterun, you have to walk past the stables near the main gate, and by coincidence, I met a young girl there who was really interested in making acquaintance with me. She's a Nord, about as tall as me, with a similar body type, blue eyes, and long, curly jet-black hair, and she seems nice. Her name is Sofia, and she's an adventurer, even though she's a kid like me! It inspired me so. Kids can be adventurers too? She seemed strong and confident, even joking about being the best swordswoman in all of Whiterun. That's so cool! Maybe I could try being an adventurer too? I don't know… It seems a bit dangerous…

She told me that even though she's an adventurer, she has a lot of trouble finding work. She dropped out of the College of Winterhold due to being a problematic student who wasn't too interested in the teacher's curriculum, and the Companions here in Whiterun didn't accept her either. The reason she was in the stables to begin with was to work, but she found it boring, and according to her, the owner is a stingy dick anyway. Basically, she was looking for an excuse to ditch work in the hope of finding something better to do, which is why she decided to go with me when I said I was on my way to meet up with the Jarl.

I also told her my story, but didn't tell her about me being a vampire yet. I'm not sure who I can trust with that information yet.

Then I went to see the Jarl. That's Jarl Balgruuf of Whiterun, to be specific; a busy man who didn't want to be disturbed, but when I told him about the dragon and Helgen, he started showing interest. He promised to send soldiers to Riverwood, which is all they wanted. He also talked about ME doing some task for him… He mistook me for an adventurer for some reason. Well, I took my bow with me, so I guess that makes sense? His court wizard, Farengar, talked about retrieving a stone tablet in Bleak Falls Barrow. He called it a Dragonstone.

This is more than just a coincidence, right? Two different people talking about needing help regarding that place? Maybe I should really go there. Sofia seemed interested too, saying this is exactly the kind of work she's been longing for. A true adventure! Since there could be some money to be made, and since I could use some help, I'm gonna accept it from her.

That's all gonna have to wait though. I'm tired after today. I need some rest, and maybe gather some supplies and prepare a little.

Last Seed, 29th, 4E 201

I can't believe I'm still alive.

Today, I went to the forest to gather materials and mined ore with Sofia until my hands were numb. There were some wolves, but they didn't seem to mind me and my friend. Then, a strange, winged creature attacked us. It was like a stone gargoyle, but it was alive.

It first went for Sofia, but she was taken down quickly even though she's so much stronger than me. I even dropped my bow due to not being able to get a good grip. The beast took me down in two hits. In the end, its attention was drawn elsewhere because it never tried to finish us off.

There was a friendly giant wandering around the forest. The beast must've seen it as a threat, as it ran straight for it. Well, let's just say the beast didn't fly so well despite having wings… We were spared…

Last Seed, 30th, 4E 201

I'm starting to doubt myself and the choices I've made recently.

I went to the forest today too and traveled north-east down the river because the road is typically much safer than the woods to the south-east. I was alone because I didn't want Sofia to get in trouble for my clumsiness again. Unfortunately, I noticed myself being tracked when I caught a glimpse of an Argonian bandit archer following my trail. I had no idea what he wanted from me, but he tried to shoot me. He missed with his first arrow, but I was scared for my safety, especially since I had never been in a real fight before!

I tried to defend myself, but I stood no chance against him. I could not hit a moving target like him, not like I had that many arrows to begin with. When I tried to run away, he finally hit me, shooting an arrow at my ankle to paralyze and immobilize me. With no foothold, I could not properly take aim anymore. I wasn't able to do anything against him. I never had a chance. He stole my weapon, and he… I don't even want to say it…

I just can't believe it. My first time, stolen by some bandit lowlife. A lizard-man, not even a human, not even the kind of person I would ever be attracted to, used me. I always thought my first sexual experience would be something more glamorous, something romantic, but I guess that's never going to happen now. He tore my skirt, completely ruining it, and stole my underwear, after which he forced it into me from behind. It hurt so much when he tore my hymen, even drawing blood, but only the initial shock felt really horrible. After a few minutes of him using me, all that was left was a similar, strange, tingly sensation I've felt from touching myself, except it was much more intense. It wasn't just my outermost parts being stimulated by slight touch, but rather a hot pulsating touch of something massive deep inside me. It was so overwhelming that I couldn't help but burst out in tears and beg him to stop. He just laughed at me and told me to beg and cry all I wanted because there was no way he would stop.

My arms, shoulders, and back felt uncomfortable because of the position he was doing me from. He was so quick and powerful, and he reached deeper than I thought was even possible… Gods, why am I even describing this!? It was horrible! He raped me for crying out loud!

And after he was done, he just left me lying on the ground. After using me so violently, he just dumped me, and I just laid there, shocked and trying not to cry. What did he even see in me? Was it just about domination? I've never felt so used, yet so unwanted and worthless at the same time… I suppose I should be glad he didn't try to capture me like those vampires did… Who knows what would've happened to me if he did.

I simply cleaned myself, but I had nothing to cover myself with, which made returning to Riverwood difficult and embarrassing. Luckily, Gerdur, a local female lumberjack, was the first person to see me approaching, and came for my help immediately, asking what had happened. I told her everything while trying to hold my tears in, and she just went on and on about how she needed to alert the guards about a rapist in the woods. I don't know what came over me at that moment, but I begged her not to tell anyone. I didn't want anyone to worry about me and just wanted fresh clothes. She was more than happy to help, but even if she doesn't report the crime done against me, she said she still needs to let the guards know if there's a dangerous criminal on the loose.

Now, I'm safely at Alvor's house, and nobody seems to know. Still, I'm not too excited about becoming an adventurer anymore. Maybe I'm not cut out for this? I want to prove myself otherwise, but I couldn't defeat him or even run away from him. To become strong enough to take on adults just feels like an insurmountable challenge…

I hope I'm not pregnant now. Can a Breton even get pregnant from an Argonian? I know humans and elves can interbreed, but Argonians and humans? I'm not so sure… I hope not…

Last Seed, 31st, 4E 201

Oh gods, what have I done?

I couldn't get any sleep. It was already past midnight. My thirst for blood was so unbearable. I snuck next to Dorthe's bed, and I… I bit her neck. She didn't wake up. She didn't even flinch…

I've never felt anything like it. Her skin was so soft that my teeth sank into her flesh like it was butter. It filled me with warmth and a sense of relief… It was so tasty, unlike anything I've ever tasted before. The chill in my skin was gone, and I felt warm again. I seriously felt alive again. Will I ever feel anything like that again? More importantly, will I start to feel cold and feverish again if I don't drink the warm blood of a live human being? Will there be even more extreme side effects to not sating my hunger?

I know I shouldn't have done it. I feel so guilty, but what choice did I have? People will surely suspect me of being a vampire if I show too many visual signs, and if I don't get blood, I will begin to change visually. My skin is much paler than it used to be, and I can already see changes on my face when I gaze upon my reflection in the water. Red eyes aren't that unusual, to be honest, but if my teeth start growing past the point of being noticeable, if the white in my eyes turns into a shade of black, or if my iris grows brighter orange, even yellow… Everybody would see it plainly. They would kill me. They already comment about me looking sickly all the freaking time.

I just had to do it for my own sake. I don't feel proud about it, but… Maybe at least now I can catch some sleep when I'm not madly thirsty for blood.

Last Seed, 31th, 4E 201

I feel better but still weak in the sun. I truly have become a creature of the night. At least it's bearable now, I suppose. I need to find an alternative way of getting blood though, since I can't risk biting the necks of the people who have helped me. What if I accidentally have them catch vampirism too? Some say just a touch is all it takes, but others claim there needs to be an exchange of fluids. Some fortunately claim it can be controlled. I hope it can because I would hate to inadvertently turn someone into a vampire.

On that topic, Sofia actually told me that she heard me waking up and followed me in secret. She saw what I did. I hadn't told her that I'm a vampire, so it was shocking to her, but she promised to keep it a secret. She said she feels I'm a good person despite my nature and doesn't think any less of me. She even said that I could take her blood when needed, but begged me to "please be careful not to accidentally kill me", a request I will do absolutely everything in my power to honor.

Sofia also insists that she must travel with me from now on. She saw how distressed I was feeling, and I admitted that I was raped by a bandit too. I'm just afraid I might get her into trouble again, or even worse! She's such a lovely and valuable friend. I would never want to hurt her, especially not after her supporting me today!

Nevertheless, I don't feel ready yet… Not after being defiled by that filthy bandit. I need more training and more time to prepare. I can't let it happen again, not to myself, not to Sofia, not to anyone. He might've released me this time around, but who knows what the next one will do if he gets the better of me? If I were to be captured, enslaved… I doubt anyone would do much to help me, a lone, worthless orphan… They have their worries about dragons, about war… Why would they concern themselves with a kid like me? It's not a kind world out there.

I have to try again. I have to get better at this and be independent somehow. There's no other choice. If I stay here, they'll eventually find out about me and kill me. Between that and dying in the wilderness, well… I'm not going to just roll over and let these guards kill me!

Heartfire, 1st, 4E 201

Today I took the road up the mountain to scout the way to the Bleak Falls Barrow and found some bandits holed up in their little ruined tower, and there he was; the same filthy Argonian was there with two of his friends. Seeing him made me anxious at first. What if he was going to rape me again? Still, I wanted revenge, and I took a big risk.

Lo and behold, they all lie dead! Oh sweet, sweet revenge… I never thought it would feel so good! I shot the first down with just one arrow, and that just made my adrenaline spike! I managed to only injure the Argonian, but that's fine. Gave me time to shoot the last of his accomplices dead. With only one capable of fighting left, he challenged me head-on, but I even managed to injure him before he could reach me. I killed him quickly and walked up to my rapist, the man who took my precious first time away from me…

Still alive, on his last legs, he begged me not to kill him, and please spare him, but I didn't care. I took aim of my bow and shot an arrow at his heart from close range. You can't even believe how satisfying it was to smash his stupid face with my heel so bad that not even his mother would recognize him anymore.

I didn't tell Sofia I was gonna do this. I had to do it myself. I learned a thing or two about being more careful, about trying to always get the first strike… I have to study being sneakier and stealthier, maybe even learn to use the night to my advantage. Besides, now that I know I am capable of this, if I'm careful, perhaps I can use this as an advantage to get blood? I bit on the Nord I killed first to sate my appetite, and although it felt refreshing, it didn't feel or taste anywhere near as good as Dorthe's blood did. Was it because he wasn't alive anymore?

Tomorrow, I'm gonna finally go to the Bleak Falls Barrow. Sofia and I have been waiting for this day for a long time. It'll be our graduation test. Either we conquer those ruins, or we die trying. If we can't get through this, we don't deserve to call ourselves adventurers.

Heartfire, 2nd, 4E 201

The road from Riverwood to Bleak Falls is relatively short but demanding. It's constant uphill, and on the higher slopes of the mountain, snow falls year-round, so it's cold too. Even for the view's sake though, it's worth the walk.

We knew we would be facing bandits because they stole that claw from the shopkeeper in Riverwood, but we had no idea just how many there were. Outside there were four, and inside there was a camp with an additional two. We have no idea how long they had been here, but they had already made some progress through the ruins, and there was even talk of some guy who had backstabbed the rest of the crew and braved the barrows alone, venturing deep inside it. These guys had no idea how to catch up to him, and they were pissed. There was even talk of another three-man group who had found an alternative, albeit dangerous side-passage which led from a collapsed rooftop straight into the heart of the burial. I'll get to these guys later.

Taking the four bandits outside was the hardest part, but luckily for us, they were all complete and total amateurs… Not that I'm in any kind of position to judge their abilities considering my inexperience and recent failures. We managed to catch most of them by surprise with Sofia. We fought together very well. One-on-one fighting's always hard, but if I manage to sneak up on them and always take one out, we'll always have a tremendous advantage. Sofia complimented me on my accuracy, saying we make a great pair. That makes me so happy. She herself is shockingly good with a sword, so I guess she wasn't kidding about all the things she bragged about. Okay, maybe she's not the literal best swordswoman around, but perhaps she's the best around her age!

The next two bandits keeping camp were easy to get rid of, and we had little to no trouble going forward with all of the undead already defeated.

Then, we found the man who had stolen from the shopkeeper in Riverwood, caught in a web weaved by the largest, ugliest Frostbite Spider I have ever seen. It had claimed many lives already, but it was in a vulnerable state. The spider was clearly injured. It was a tough fight, and poison weakened both of us, but we managed to kill it. We weren't too keen on helping the bandit who had stolen the claw, so we also killed him. I have a feeling he would've done the same if the roles were reversed. I mean, he backstabbed his own pals. Why would he have helped us?

From that point onward, we mostly fought Draugr and Skeletons. Some of them didn't die so easily, but they didn't really pose a threat against us due to being so slow. They were much less of a problem for us than the bandits were, which to some extent was to be expected. These bandits had no trouble with them, and we had no trouble with the bandits. That's when we discovered the three bandits who had taken the shortcut.

They were hopelessly lost and arguing because they had no idea how to get away from this place anymore. Unfortunately, here we fucked up a little because we let ourselves be discovered before getting the first strike. It made these three adult men happy because they knew there would be a way out, and our presence also seemed to excite them quite a bit. They threatened to capture and rape both of us, saying it's not every day gods just present them with a pair of fuckable little girls in an ancient tomb or something. It weirded us both out. It wasn't easy, but we managed to defeat them too.

Now, we're taking a little breather. We just have to. We've been fighting and walking all day now, and Sofia especially is getting hungry. I'm perfectly fine, fortunately. If there's one thing that's good about being a vampire, it's that you don't have the same physical needs as ordinary people do. I still have to drink and eat a little, but I guess when none of that sustenance will contribute to my physical growth - not when I'm already dead, technically anyway - it's not going to matter that much.

I think we're ready to continue now. I guess there won't be any more bandits, and I hope we won't face any nasty surprises either.

Heartfire, 2nd, 4E 201

My dearest, sweetest diary, forgive me for jumping straight to the conclusion of my long day full of adventure: I think I'm a Dragonborn.

I've heard stories and legends about those born with the dragon blood. The Emperors used to all be Dragonborn too. Could I really be like them? Well, considering everything that has happened to me today, maybe it's not just speculation on my part.

The main chamber was right ahead of where we set down to rest, and to get there we actually had to use the stolen golden claw. It was a key to unlock some kind of Nordic puzzle wall, which was kind of cool. It wasn't hard or anything, but getting the heavy gears to move wasn't easy. They were heavy as all hell! There we had one final challenge, a Draugr stronger, nastier, and meaner than the ones before. It could even use its voice as a weapon. We retrieved the Dragonstone from its grave after killing it, the one we were sent to retrieve by Farengar in Whiterun, and this is where I made my strange discovery…

You see, there was this big, curved wall with ancient carvings on it, on a language unknown to us. Sofia had no idea what it was, but I could hear it speak to me. I understood what it said. "Fus", it read, meaning "Force". I wasn't sure at the time what it meant, I wasn't sure how exactly how it affected me, but something had awakened in me.

First, we returned the claw to the trader and split the reward money. That was only fair, as Sofia and I contributed equal amounts in this quest. Then, we delivered the Dragonstone to Farengar. And then, things suddenly got interesting. A dragon had attacked the outskirts of Whiterun, and the Jarl dispatched his troops. Sofia and I were asked to help. With many of us fighting that beast, we were sure we'd take it down.

It wasn't easy or anything like that. It took down a few of Jarl's men, but after it was wounded to the point of not being able to fly anymore, killing it was actually easy. I already spoiled the surprise earlier, but I found out I'm a Dragonborn when I absorbed power from it when it died. One of the guards called me Dragonborn then and there. I didn't believe it myself at first, but after I figured out how to use that "Fus" word I had just learned, I realized… Yeah, it's real. This is real. I wasn't dreaming. It wasn't a fluke. I knew how to speak in the language of the Dragons.

Word spread quickly about the dragon being dead, and I guess the appearance of the Dragonborn was also made known to the world. As I entered Whiterun, I could actually hear a thundering roar from above, someone calling out to me. I later learned that they were the Greybeards. I've heard about them. They're some old men living on top of some mountain, but I've never really cared too much about them prior to this. They were talking to me, I was told by the Jarl. They were summoning me to visit them. Will I go? Of course I will. It'll make for a fun memory if nothing else, but above everything else, I'm hoping to learn something from them during my visit.

• 2nd Journal - Destined