JoS/Henriette/23rd Journal - Tests of Faith
Morning Star, 15th, 4E 203
If I didn't have enough worries with the Dawnguard and Vigilants wanting me dead or bandits and slave traffickers wanting me captured, now it seems that my actions with the College of Winterhold have angered Thalmor for the last time. They have an arrest warrant on my head and recognize me as an enemy of the Aldmeri Dominion. They pretty much attack me on sight.
What makes this all the more troublesome is the fact that since they have political influence, unlike some of my other enemies. I'm not sure if they would be bold enough to attack me in the middle of the city, but they could actually have me arrested by guards too. I should be fine in areas where they have little to no influence but in holds like the Reach and the Haafingar… Well, that's where I will get slightly more trouble because of their increased presence. My reputation was already bad in those areas to begin with, so I really have to be on my toes from now on when traveling through unfriendly areas.
Speaking of Reach, we're still on our way to Markarth. We dropped by at Sky Haven Temple, and while at first it seemed like we were welcomed by Delphine and Esbern, they started getting pissy with me about something that they deemed problematic.
Esbern, who has been studying and reading books about dragons and the history of Blades all his life, told me that he read into Paarthurnax and decided that he needs to die. Apparently, that old dragon committed crimes against humanity in the past and used to serve Alduin or something. Then again, such was the case for all the dragons, was it not? Paarthurnax, based on everything I've heard, was one of the first to defect and help humanity, so I don't really understand why the drama. Shouldn't he be considered one of the "good" dragons? Did he not teach the man to wield the voice? Esbern luckily was pretty calm and rational about it and was, in fact, very happy to see me. Delphine was a whole another story though.
She's making demands from me again, just like she did in the past. She doesn't even want to have anything to do with me unless "that dragon" dies. She went so far as to say "It's your duty", which pretty much made me want to spit on her face. Were the Blades not historically supposed to serve the Dragonborn, not order them around like this? Who does she think she is? I don't even care about being Dragonborn all that much anymore! Sure, I'll fight Alduin when the time comes for me to meet him again - that bastard threatens the entire world and even killed my parents after all - but that's where I believe my "duty" to this world or anyone else ends as far as I'm concerned. Fuck what this woman thinks is my duty. Paarthurnax doesn't deserve to die, and I told this to Delphine in no uncertain terms. "If you want her to die", I told her, "then try to kill him yourself. Or are you too much of a weak little bitch to do it on your own?" She got so mad, even tried to slap me for being, in her own words, "so naïve". It was thanks to Esbern that she didn't.
He tried to make her calm down before things got ugly and that he still had things he wanted to discuss with me, and he would prefer to discuss them like a rational adult. I was happy to agree, but not now while Delphine was yelling and screaming next to me. Luckily, she was able to shut up for a while.
He asked me to forgive Delphine for her actions. He seems to understand that they need me more than I need them at this point. He's the one who seems most concerned about Alduin, about him maybe returning once more after the last time I met face to face with the world-eater, about him possibly coming back stronger than ever.
Long story short, he wants me to win, he needs me to win, everyone does. He asked me once more, is there truly no way I could strike down Paarthurnax? I don't like repeating myself, but I at least feel like I can reason with this old man. "No, it's not something I'm willing to do", I told him.
"So be it", Esbern said. "I think it's a mistake to spare him, but we can't force you. I will lend you help to defeat Alduin in any way I can, but once your destiny has been fulfilled, our relationship will end."
Well, that's something I can respect, but Delphine's still giving me ugly looks. I couldn't hear what she whispered, but I swear I could read "undead bitch" from her lips. Heh, maybe I should kill her instead of Paarthurnax? Ahahaha, that might actually be fun… I'd feel bad for Esbern though, so probably no.
Luckily, I didn't have to wait to receive this help from him. As he's been researching dragons, he's learned about more than just Paarthurhax. Ancient Blades used to record many names of the dragons they killed, especially the names of those that used to serve Alduin. One of these resurrected dragons is Odahviing. "I still don't know exactly what your plan is, or if you truly will try to trap a dragon in Dragonsreach or not, but if you do, this is the dragon you should seek out. Just call his name. He will surely answer your challenge."
Well, there's always a slight chance I've already met Odahviing and killed him… But that's unlikely, I think. Either way, that was that. I thanked him greatly and reminded him that it is not I who is burning down this bridge between me and the Blades. It's them, and more specifically, Delphine. I don't blame them for distrusting Paarthurnax because, well, he's a dragon, but shouldn't the fact that I trust him not be enough for them? Shouldn't they be more trusting of me? Oh well, what's done is done. I'm glad I came here… And also glad I don't have to worry about coming here again. Hopefully anyway.
As for the plan, I still don't know how I will get Jarl Balgruuf to agree to it, but I suppose I should at least bring it up with him again. That will have to wait for later. It'll probably be a while before I head back east towards Whiterun.
Morning Star, 17th, 4E 203
My journey has finally brought me to Deepwood Redoubt in the mountains of Haafingar. You know, the place that Olava told me about. Even though it's far north of the Reach, it's one of the most prominent strongholds that the Forsworn has for themselves. We found exactly what Olava told me we would find. I found the treasure left to me by an ancient assassin, which was some old piece of armor that doesn't even fit me. Maybe it can be tailored to fit better without destroying the powerful enchantments placed on it? I'll look into it someday in the future. We also found the priest that Olava mentioned, but I'll get to talking about him later.
Outside we saw only Forsworn, who we tried our best to just sneak by and not engage, but once we got inside the actual temple, we figured out who was really in charge here: witches. The coven's leader was a Hagraven and a powerful one at that, but she kept running away from us. We felt like she was taunting us, and we were a little annoyed by her, so we followed her up the building to kill her. It's only after she lied dead that we realized we might've actually killed someone really important.
We found some letters, and there were talks about some Matriarch and about some plan they've been waiting to fulfill for a long time, a plan that is closer to fruition than ever before. When we were leaving, we also overheard some Forsworn talking to themselves about how they can't believe their stronghold had been infiltrated, about how Madanach would be furious when he heard of the news. We still hadn't been discovered, but getting out was gonna be difficult with everyone alert and awake.
Oh, and speaking of Madanach, there's a name I haven't heard in a while. I guess he's still intent on taking the Reach with the Forsworn, and I suppose what he said last time we met still stands. I've got no plans of making my capture easy for him because I very much prefer being free. Makes me wonder, could he be the one that Olava prophesized I will bow down to? Possible…
Well, at least this "plan", whatever plan it was, is now the plan is in shambles. Or not, I don't know. Unintended consequences if so. Sorry, Madanach, nothing personal.
Let's talk about the priest next, who Forsworn had a prisoner here. They were interrogating him about if he knew something about the attack, telling him they would kill him where he stood if he didn't spill the beans. Honestly, under normal circumstances, I would've never even considered saving him, but Olava didn't mention him in my reading for nothing, meaning I felt a need to save him. To do that, we had to fight many of the Forsworn, but we at least prevailed. Some of them got away, scared for their lives, but we had no means of pursuing them. We had to let them go, which might blow up in our face down the road, as now the Forsworn know exactly who did this.
Either way, the priest's name is Logrolf, and he thought I was sent to end his life. He asked stuff like, who sent me, what was my purpose for being there, and I only told him the truth. I received a reading of my future which brought me here. He didn't believe me, but he was glad to have been rescued. He's a priest of Boethiah. You know, the goddess I kind of angered when I met her, kind of didn't, I'm still not sure… He's on the road to Markarth and talked about some task he has there.
According to him, there's a shrine to Molag Bal in some building there, deep underground, and for some reason, he's intent on desecrating that shrine, doing whatever ungodly things he wants… I told him that we're on our way to Markarth too, so maybe we can travel together. He took me by my offer.
Molag Bal is without a doubt an evil god, and I have a strong connection to him. He's the father of vampires after all. And I guess this is what Olava meant? Harkon got his vampirism directly from this god, so I'm just one person's separation away from his graces. I'm not a big fan of that particular god though… But I wonder, is it in my best interest to lead a priest of a rivaling Daedric prince to his shrine? It could spell trouble, but it could also be exactly what he wants.
Morning Star, 19th, 4E 203
It all started when we split into two pairs. Serana and Sofia have their own business to deal here with, and I had my business with Logrolf. My oh my what came of that, do I have a story to share with you…
Logrolf led me to an abandoned building, inside which the shrine to Molag Bal was located. He approached the shrine before I could even talk any sense to him, and he got himself trapped within his altar rather quickly. Metal spikes emerged from the ground, forming a prison of cold grey steel around him. They had a brief altercation with the Lord of Domination trying to intimidate the priest, but He had no means of actually hurting him… Or, maybe He did, maybe He just wanted me to do His bidding.
"You see, priest of Boethiah, I have a champion of my own."
I never thought I would be this god's champion, I never even considered myself such, but it didn't matter to Logrolf, and my opinion surely doesn't matter to the Lord of Domination either. Logrolf accused me of deceiving him, to which I simply listened, staying as silent as a grave. Molag Bal then spoke directly to me. He called me His loyal servant, but also His daughter, and also His slave. All three labels carry very different connotations. A rusty mace appeared in my hands, and He commanded me to do his bidding, with His voice revibrating and echoing painfully in my head. He reminded me of how He already owns my soul, of how I already belong to Him now and in all eternity, and He gave me a simple task: Beat this priest into submission.
So, I did. I swung the spiked, fanged mace and sunk it into his flesh. First, I only hit once, but I hit as hard as I could. He screamed in pain, but he clearly wasn't impressed despite looking pained. He was yelling, daring me to do my worst, saying he would never surrender, but I didn't think much of his words… All I could think of was his blood covering the spikes, dripping from his open would on his now partially tattered robe and splashes of scarlet on my arm. I smiled, baring my two spiked teeth as I started hitting him again and again. He was getting bloody all over as I battered him, and he screamed in pain. He shouted that he'd never give in, but his voice was waning. Eventually, one unprotected blow to his head proved too much. He died, with his blood covering the mace, my face, my arm. I was breathing so heavily, practically hyperventilating, gasping for air, trying to hold back my laughter as I licked my fingers.
Then, Molag Bal laughed himself, quite boisterously too. He brought Logrolf back to life and told me to do it all over again, clearly enjoying Himself. I did as told and hit the priest again, this time even harder, even faster. He was trying to protect himself, begging for me to stop. I didn't. Eventually, the prison retracted back inside the altar, giving me unrestricted access to my victim. I jumped on top of him, sitting on top of his legs, bashing him again and again on his arms and chest as he tried to defend himself and crushed his throat with a final killing blow. I was getting just even more bloody and even more enthralled in ecstasy. The game was still far from over. Molag Bal brought him to life one more time.
This time the priest begged Molag Bal to stop, begging him to save him from "that insane girl". Oh, you give me too much credit… I'll have you know, I'm quite sane. I was ready to swing again, and I actually kind of wanted to batter him more, but the priest had come to the end of his road. He promised to serve and worship Molag Bal and to leave Boethiah behind …
Then, Molag Bal had a final task for me. "Rape him", he said. "Rape him in my name."
The priest couldn't believe what he had just heard, but he had no way of resisting what happened next. While tiny spikes rose from the altar to pin him down, I stripped down completely and exposed myself to his shocked eyes. It was clear that he wasn't really into me, or into children in general, but it didn't matter. I was so intent on making him hard, and I was already so god-damn wet myself. Sitting down on him, I ripped through his robes to expose his dick while belittling him, mocking him, and calling him a disgusting lowlife. I mocked him for even getting hard from a child's hand, saying he must secretly enjoy what's going on, a comment which he vehemently denied.
Ok, look, nothing wrong with lusting for me, I'm pretty confident about my appearance even though my body might be a little underdeveloped… But since he wasn't really into young girls, it was just so fun to tease him. Calling people who are not pedophiles just that seems to garter some hilarious replies from them, especially when they're about to have sex with a child.
Then, I actually mounted his dick, and wow, was it a big one. As fun as it was to play with, it was infinitely more fun to actually take inside my body. I sat on top of it but couldn't take it all the way in… What a magnificent, unwilling cock he had. Of course, as commanded by Molag Bal, I took him all the way to the end. He resisted, he held back, and he obviously didn't want to cum. I couldn't personally help but climax way before he did, but that was just more fuel to make it feel even better for me. It was all about me pleasing myself at his expense. It has been done so many times to me by men stronger than me, but now I was in complete, unwavering control of an adult man sexually, for the first time in my life… Granted, I had a Daedric Prince help me do this feat I could never actually be capable of doing alone, but I had never felt so powerful sexually. Raping a man physically so much bigger than me, dominating a man like that… I'm likely to never experience sex like this ever again.
Eventually, he came, forced to ejaculate. I simply told him that I still wasn't satisfied, and I continued to pump him. I'm told that after ejaculation, sex kind of becomes difficult for a man, both physically and emotionally, and I could clearly see it in his face. Some men use Skooma to keep themselves going, but here we're talking about a middle-aged man with no performance-enhancing elixirs or drugs… So he was obviously distraught of seeing me continue bouncing on top of his waist.
Molag Bal, who some even call the King of Rape, enjoyed watching me toy with him for a long time, probably getting some ideas of His own, but not as long as I would've probably enjoyed continuing this act. He eventually told me that my next mission would be to send him to his new god. I asked my master, "Shall I feast on his corpse as I send his soul to you, my Lord?". I was given permission, and then, overcome by bloodlust, I sunk my teeth into him. I hugged him tightly, clawed him, bit into him as hard as my jaw would allow, feeling as he struggled in my embrace. Eventually, his body turned stiff and became colder as his heart stopped beating and his helpless limbs stopped moving. This time, he wasn't coming back alive. Still naked and partially covered in blood, I smiled with my entire body filled with pure ecstasy as I played out the scene that had just unfolded in my head over and over again.
"It was not a mere coincidence that led you to me, my child", he told me. "Fate brought you here. You can be a little disappointing at times, but you have guts, and you serve me well." He rewarded me with his mace. It's a powerful artifact for sure, but it's not a weapon befitting of my character. "Use it as you see fit, or don't use it at all. It doesn't matter. You have done more than prove yourself worthy of calling yourself my champion…"
Then, I simply left… I still have a long day ahead of me, but I think I need a little breather before meeting Calcelmo. I'm still feeling amazing… Like, wow, what an experience… I've pledged my allegiance to Sithis, and I'm pretty sure that Molag Bal knows it. He probably doesn't care if I do… Besides, he said I disappoint him at times. I guess what he meant by that is that I let myself get dominated way too easily, and he's not wrong about that. In that sense, it could be the case that he will never see me as truly worthy, depending on course on what kind of fate I meet in the end and how I die, if I die at all.
All vampires are sent to Coldharbour to be enslaved by the Lord of Domination when they die, which is probably why it doesn't matter to him. He already owns my soul, and that's just another way for him to tell me that. No matter how many prayers I cast for the Dread Father, the God I will bow down to in the end might be Molag Bal… In fact, now that I think about it, it's probably the most likely thing that will happen to me in my afterlife. The only real way out of this would be to seek a cure to vampirism, but let's be real… I will NEVER abandon my blood. I LOVE my gift of immortality, I love my blood, I'm a demi-god greater than a mere mortal, and it feels so fucking amazing I would never ever let it go.
Oh, but does Boethiah approve of what I did? I mean, I am on a mission for her, kind of… If she's pissed with her previous champion, she must be furious and disgusted with me. Then again, she is a god, and gods behave in mysterious ways. Who knows, maybe she even saw it coming considering my nature…
Morning Star, 19th, 4E 203
My dealings with the Lord of Domination aside, the city of Markarth hasn't become any more pleasant than it was during the last time I came here, and this most recent visit of mine continues to prove itself to be eventful.
When I entered the Understone Keep, the guards didn't stop me at first, but they followed me around to keep an eye on me. I am, after all, well-recognized in this city by law enforcement. They finally stopped me as soon as it looked like I was going towards the excavation site to talk to Calcelmo.
They straight up arrested me and dropped a hefty fine on me. "For what", I asked them, to which they simply told me they would throw me back to Cidhna Mine if I walked any closer. There's a restraining order on me, primarily based on suspicion, with no hard evidence. They said they think I've been snooping around his laboratory… I mean, they're not wrong, but I didn't exactly "steal" anything, just copied some writings from some stupid stone tablet… That's not a big deal, right? Still, considering my public criminal history in this city - a criminal history that has been disproven! - mere suspicion is more than enough for the city guards to be wary of me.
They took me outside the fort for questioning. In an attempt to show good character and faith, I was honest and told them that I wanted to ask him about a Dwemer artifact I found, even showing it to them. They just laughed at my face and said it's a worthless piece of junk, and that I should just go sell it at Arnleif's shop for some pocket change. They then gave me an offer: since I acted well, they would be willing to drop the fine and look the other way for a small price of a blowjob for each of them. I clicked my tongue but complied anyway. I honestly thought I was getting off easy.
As soon as I got off sucking one of them, the next two came at me at once. Getting to fuck me wasn't part of the deal, but there was little I could do to stop these corrupt bastards from having their way with me. I had to let one of them do from behind while the other kept thrusting down my throat forcefully, and there was the third one too. What's more, I was still excited and hypersensitive from the fun I had earlier, so once I had a prick stuck inside me, there was nothing I could do.
Oh, the nerve of these guys… If there was a silver lining to be had, it was that at least they were quick with me. It doesn't look like I'll be getting any clues about this "worthless piece of junk" from Calcelmo though, unless I'm willing to take risks… Nope, not going to happen! Not after this! I don't doubt them for a second that they'd toss me to that cursed mine if they get a good excuse to do so.
After that encounter, I returned to the inn to meet up with the girls. Their days were pleasant, and they managed to do their chores without any trouble. Good for them, I suppose. It's a shame there aren't any inns nearby outside the town, as I really don't even want to sleep here given the trouble I went through with the guards today. Oh well, at least the inn is a safe haven for us.
Morning Star, 21st, 4E 203
We had just one place left on our bucket list to visit before starting our journey to Whiterun. It only made sense for it to be our next stop. Anyway, we headed south and visited a place called Knifepoint Ridge, a place where Boethiah instructed us to go. And wow, what an adventure that turned out to be! Yet again, I've gotten myself in hot water!
From the outside, it looked like a small village with its cheap, wooden battlements, but it was wholly populated by bandits and outlaws, run by their chief, who just so happened to be the champion Boethiah talked about. He had a busy slave-run mine also, inside of which he also had his own quarters hidden. No wonder he had a bounty on his head, and his band of thugs was really large too, large enough to cause some massive trouble for us… Or rather, me and Serana.
I never give my position away, not even on accident, but Serana isn't as well equipped in the arts of stealth and subtlety as me and Sofia are, so SHE gave our position away. No, I won't hold it against her since she's my precious friend. Besides, since Sofia never was discovered, we had a lifeline to escape. I'm glad that for once, she bit her tongue instead of being her usual hotheaded self because if she did try to save us instantly, I probably would be writing a very different kind of entry here.
This Dunmer figured out that we had been sent by someone for his life specifically, but he didn't press the issue at all. It didn't seem to matter to him at all as he already had us in chains. He immediately put us both to work, but since mining ore isn't really cut for such small and weak girls as ourselves, he got other work for us. He put me on an errand to share refreshments for some of the workers and eventually bring mead to him. As for Serana, he seemed attracted to her a little too much, so he took her as his personal love slave. Maybe he would've used me later too, I'm not sure… He seemed really excited about doing her in specific. Our bodies aren't that different, are they? Am I not as cute as she is?
Serving drinks to the slaves was out of the question, but offering a drink to a taskmaster apparently was super important. The guy's belly told me that he really shouldn't have to eat or drink as much as he did, but I don't know, maybe whipping slaves is harder work than I give him credit for. He also stole a good grope from my butt and talked about how he was going to do me later. It never actually got to that.
Sofia was able to take out the guards outside and infiltrate the cave too. She's good at sneaking and hiding but awful at surprise attacks due to her heavy armor and weaponry, but her abilities sufficed here. She eventually was discovered, but at this point, I was able to provide her some assistance, not with my weapons which had been stolen from me, but with my fangs. In the end though, it was her who mostly saved the day. The Dunmer was butt-naked when he was surprised by Sofia, so he obviously had no means of defending himself against a fully armed fighter.
Boethiah then appeared before us. She possessed her own previous champion's corpse to speak with us.
As I suspected, she wasn't very thrilled with me at all, considering that she's been watching me and knows very well what I had done in Markarth. I hadn't explained all the details to Sofia and Serana, so they obviously were confused about how in Oblivion I was able to anger Boethiah so much. At the same time, she didn't hold it against me too much. According to her, Logrolf was a fool to pick a fight with a rivaling god to begin with and was in no way doing Boethiah's bidding in doing so, so in a sense, although I had fallen from her good graces, she admitted that maybe Logrolf had it coming. I was disqualified from ever being her champion though, a fact I didn't care too much about. Besides, it wasn't me who killed her old champion anyway.
As for Sofia, she had fulfilled Boethiah's instructions to the letter, whereas me and Serana had failed. Well, it was more of a failure by Serana, but she probably didn't want to become Boethiah's champion either. She just doesn't care about gods at all. Sofia was gifted with the Ebony Mail, which isn't just a standard Ebony armor but a Daedric artifact of Boethiah herself. With her godly powers, she was even able to resize and refit it for Sofia, which she was obviously very happy about. She said that she's always wanted to wear Ebony, but getting across armor made from rare materials that actually fits a child is damn near impossible.
We're currently spending a night at Dead Man's Drink, and we're drinking down some of the money we got from Stewart of Falkreath for taking out the Bandit leader and releasing the captive citizens. Job well done; rest well earned. The road from here to Whiterun through Riverwood should be pretty safe and straightforward.
Morning Star, 22nd, 4E 203
We were planning on leaving, but something interesting happened.
I woke up to the noise coming from the bar and couldn't fall asleep anymore. Sun hadn't fallen yet, but I suppose some people like to start chugging mead early. Since I didn't want to bother my friends, I decided that it would be a good idea to relieve myself of my boredom of having to wait by walking around the inn, listening to folks, and maybe even talking.
That's when I met him. He's a man, about the same age as my father was before he died. Our eyes crossed, and I noticed him looking sad. Seeing me only seemed to make him feel more miserable. He looked like he wanted to cry. It seemed strange to me, so I approached, asking what was wrong with him.
His name is Mathies. He owns a farm, and he also used to have a daughter, Lavinia. He said I remind him of her. Apparently, there aren't too many girls my age living in this town. It didn't look like he wanted to talk at first, but when I shared my story about how my parents were killed in Helgen, saying I know his pain, he got more talkative.
The way his daughter died was a tragedy, according to him. She had been raped and murdered, "ripped apart", according to his own words. At least the man responsible for this, Sinding, is sitting in jail, having even confessed to all his crimes, but that won't bring Lavinia back. "My only solace in this is getting to watch that monster lose his head", Mathies said. He also asked me about how my parents died, but I just looked at him, not saying anything. I suppose he understood his mistake because he knows damn well it was a dragon that destroyed Helgen.
I don't know why, but something about the story Mathies told me made me want to see this murderer for myself. Like, I don't know what came over me for deciding to confront him, but I'm glad I did because turned out there's more to this story than what Mathies described.
There he was, in his prison cell, which had been built to be as secure as a cell can be. He noticed me watching him from behind the bars, and his eyes lit up for a brief moment. He told me to leave him be, to which I simply said, "I know what you did".
"So what", he asked, "are you here to gawk at a monster?" Truth be told, he doesn't look like a monster to me, although neither do I, yet one could argue that I am a monster myself. I got him to talk after telling him he didn't look like a monster and that he looked sad and sorrow-struck about the whole thing too.
Sinding and Lavinia used to have a secret relationship. They were lovers, to be specific. Singing really loved her, cherished her, even wanted to marry her when she got older, even though he was about twenty years older than this sweet little child. He described himself as a pedophile, a monster, and probably was expecting me to back off at that point considering what I am… But if they were lovers, it doesn't explain why he killed her. I wanted to gain his trust to learn the truth because the story wasn't making sense to me. I told him that being a pedophile doesn't bother me or disgust me at all, and yes, I was being completely honest. Why would it? An eternal child like me should be thankful for men who are capable of feeling genuine love towards those who look like me. That's how I got him to spill more beans.
"I didn't intend to kill her", he said and then confessed to being a monster in a more literal sense of the word. He's a werewolf, you see, and really ashamed of it. He told me about an artifact that is capable of making werewolves able to control their transformation freely, a Ring of Hircine, and he felt like he needed it to gain control of his "curse". This led him to steal one, but doing so angered Hircine. The god cursed the ring and made his transformations even more severe and uncontrollable. That's how he had killed Lavinia too. They were just meant to meet in secret to have sex, but during their date, when they were making love, everything faded to black, and when he woke up, the girl had been mauled to death. He turned himself in immediately out of fear of hurting anyone else. Now, all he wants is to return the ring to Hircine somehow. He wishes for forgiveness from the father of man-beasts. That's his final wish, his only wish before the day headsman's axe descends down on him. There's a way to commune with Hircine, but that involves hunting down a legendary white stag in the woods of Falkreath, so he can't do it himself.
I just sighed at told him to "Give me the damn ring". I'm a great hunter, a master archer, and a predator, so taking down some "Great beast" should be child's play. He didn't understand why I would go to such lengths, but he didn't object. He gave me the ring and begged me to return it to Hircine in his place. After that, I returned to the inn.
As I'm writing it, I've noticed two things. First, there's a commotion at the inn about an escaped criminal. Surely it couldn't be Sinding…? I mean, how could he even escape his cell? It looked so secure. He seemed determined about wanting to die too so he could meet his justice, so I don't really see why he would even escape. Did he change his mind? Is he afraid to die? If he is, I can't blame him. We're all afraid to die, to an extent, at least.
Secondly, the damn ring is on my finger. How? I never put it on. It just appeared. I feel like getting rid of it should be now my priority number one. It's cursed, and who knows what kinds of effects it could have on me. It's not gonna turn me into a werewolf, is it…? I mean, that shouldn't even be possible, right!? I'm a vampire already! Vampires can't become werewolves!
My friends have woken up too, and I explained the situation to them. I will depart for the woods alone as soon as the sun sets.
Morning Star, 23rd, 4E 203
I tracked down the white stag, and even though it was the middle of the night, finding him wasn't easy. It was like Kyne's trials all over again. Only after two hours of looking for it, I found it and was happy to realize it hadn't been alerted by my presence yet. I readied my bow and took it out from a distance. It looked like it sensed me right as I released my arrow, but at that point, it was already too late for it to dodge.
Before I managed to walk up to my fallen prey, I heard a voice speak to me, complimenting me on my kill, telling me about how I'm a great hunter. I recognized my prey in its spirit-form beside me. Just as Sinding had said, me taking down the stag allowed me to commune with Hircine. I got straight to the point and told him about the ring, about how the man who stole it seeks Hircine's forgiveness and seeks to have the ring returned. He didn't outright accept my offer, but the reply I got was, "I may consider it". There is something he wanted me to do, and here's where I felt so conflicted.
Hircine has called upon a hunt of his own. They call it a wild hunt, and the prey is none other than Sinding. So, it really was him who managed to escape from prison…
I was SO shocked to hear this. Why call a hunt on him, I wondered. Was it because he stole the ring in the first place? Hircine said he's not seeking vengeance, but I don't know what other reason there would be for him to call a wild hunt upon him. I mean, it's kind of like a death sentence from Hircine himself. Hircine calls upon his followers - his hunters on this mortal plane - to fight and take down the beast, and whoever would come out on top would be worthy of his blessing. From the perspective of Hircine, I can kind of see why he would want this to happen. He probably felt wronged, even though he says this isn't about revenge. Besides, there's no mightier foe in the woods of Falkreath than a werewolf.
But I can see what motivated Sinding too. When we talked, he called being a werewolf a curse rather than a blessing, and something he's ashamed of. Like was the case with me and vampirism before I became an adventurer, he probably didn't contract Lycanthropy out of his own free will. What's more, he stole an artifact of Hircine in an attempt to control himself. That was his only motivation, and he never wanted anyone to die, especially not his lover. Was it foolish of him? Yes, definitely, but could I blame him? I… I don't know, I just don't. I still don't know if what I did was right, even though I have since made my choice.
I rushed in to participate in the hunt, but as I was running towards my destination, I wondered whether to obey Hircine's command or disobey? The damn cursed ring was still on my finger, and I feared that disobedience would've made it so it would've stayed that way. On the other hand, fighting a werewolf didn't really sound like a welcoming idea either. I mean, it's a werewolf, for crying out loud!
As I continued to weigh my options, I kind of saw a possibility for redemption for Sinding in this too. I mean, he was to be sentenced to death anyway… So if he were to survive the wild hunt, he would live to see tomorrow, unlike he would if he wouldn't have escaped… But the reason he's imprisoned was because he killed an innocent little girl, his own secret lover nonetheless. It's not his fault he lost control at the wrong moment, it's not his fault he's a werewolf in the first place. Or is it? Would he have lost control of his transformation had he not stolen the ring from Hircine? Would, in that sense, Hircine really be the true villain in all of this? Could there even be something Sinding didn't tell me? If he really regretted his actions, why did he escape? Could he not control himself when he escaped? Just too many damn questions!
Before I could even make my decision, I found myself face to face with the werewolf under the Bloodmoon in the grotto, the place that had become Hircine's hunting ground. "You", he said, in his beastly form, with the blood of his fallen foes dripping from his claws and his maw. He was in control of his emotions at that moment, and he had regained his senses, which reassured me. "You're here to kill me too, aren't you?"
In the heat of the moment, I ended up following my heart. Had I arrived five minutes earlier, or maybe five minutes later, my answer might've been different. I told him "No". I told him that I would defy Hircine and assist the prey in this hunt instead. "Vampire and a werewolf against mortal hunters", I said,
with a smile on my face. "Who do you think will prevail?"
And so, we fought together. Hircine had many who wished to gain his favor, some of who had probably waited for this day for a long time, perhaps for years. It's not every day a wild hunt commences after all. They were all ready to die, and for fairness's sake, so were we, but together we prevailed. It took hours, most of it we spent in hiding, preying on the hunters, but all that paid off. By the end of the fight, the stones and the grasses had been painted with the same sanguine coloring as the full moon above us.
Sinding turned back to human. I didn't really think much of it when he was a werewolf, but he really was naked in all his glory. I couldn't help but blush and avert my eyes in shame as he turned towards me without even bothering to cover up. "I don't know how to thank you enough", he said. "I'm not sure if I would've been able to do it alone."
I told him that I felt the same. It certainly was a fight for us to lose. He couldn't understand it though, why did I come to this conclusion unlike every other hunter here. Why did I take the ring from him in the first place? Why did I want to help him? I told him that, at that moment, all I could feel was pity. My story is somewhat similar to his too. I may enjoy being a vampire these days, but there was a day when the idea of it horrified me, when my future seemed more uncertain, so I understand how he feels. He never asked for any of this, he just wanted to overcome his curse, and he ended up making a mistake. What's more, he had lost someone dear to him too, a lover. I felt so sorry for him, for he just seemed like a victim of his own emotions.
He sighed, and he smiled. He admitted to being pitiful and for being a fool. He also said that he wasn't even the only man Lavinia had. She was a very promiscuous girl, which was kind of an open secret in the town of Falkreath, and maybe Sinding saw something more special in that "relationship" than she did. Sinding is, after all, as I came to learn a while later, a pretty hopeless pedophile. He only finds beauty in children, but he is also a bit of a coward. Lavinia was the only girl he had ever gotten to bone, which is why she was more special to him than he was to her.
I was feeling especially mischievous and seductive at that point, and all I could feel was a strong urge to tease him. I mean come on, there's a naked man in front of me, who was in his own admission someone who finds beauty in children! I told him to make me his second then, but to make no mistake about our relationship being "anything special". I, too, am a promiscuous girl after all. He was hesitant, and he didn't want to repeat the mistake of his past. What if he transformed unwillingly again? What if he battered me to death? I just laughed at him and pointed at the ring which was on my finger. It's not going to affect him, no chance! "Besides", I added, "I like dangerous men".
Those words were all I needed to get him all over me. I was expecting him to be a bit awkward at first, but it was clear that he wanted to get me out of my garments so bad. He was so lustful for my bare skin. He didn't even bother with foreplay and just forced himself right in from behind while pinning my body against the grass. Despite being so forceful, he made sure not to hurt me, not even once. All in all, he was pretty amazing.
He quickly took me on his lap, making me ride him. He played with my nipples and my clit too. I swear, I may have had a lot of good sex recently, but a loving yet commanding partner is always the match for me. His stamina too… Ah, I could just go on forever, couldn't I? We were made for each other.
What excited me - but also scared me a little - was when he actually turned into a werewolf. I mean, what if he was going to go out of control and hurt me? I couldn't have fought back even if I tried to. Luckily for me, even though he was getting more forceful and rough by the second, he was still in complete control of his emotions and the situation. Makes me wonder, did he also fall to Hircine's good graces due to how he fought alongside me? Wouldn't surprise me… To the victor go the spoils, and Hircine said he holds no grudges…
Sinding never actually came inside me in human form, and in his beast form, his dick was actually bigger and more like that of a real dog. He wanted to finish me off on top of me, pounding me with all his force and weight while I was sandwiched between him and the soft soil. His long and hard phallus was so deep inside me, and he just kept pushing and roaring. His ejaculation was out of this world. It was so long, filled me to the brim, and he was so properly knotted inside me that he couldn't have pulled out even if he wanted to. Eventually though, he did and continued to spray his semen all over my stomach and my chest too. I seriously felt like passing out… I probably did for a moment… I blacked out for a brief moment only to wake up him doing me from behind again.
This would be his last stand, even though he managed to thrust his hips even faster than before, battering my hip from behind to make me sore for hours. Eventually, he pulled out of me and took me by my shoulders, presenting the bright red pulsating cock to my lips. I gladly took a taste of it, tongue extended out and all, even used my hands, and let him finish inside my mouth. It was a little more than I could handle or realistically swallow, especially in one go, but neither of us were really bothered by that. Sometimes a little mess is sexy. Besides, it's not like I felt sick or anything.
He's now sleeping peacefully. There's a little campsite here in the grove. It's a beautiful scenery with even a little spring to wash on. I know I got to get back to my friends, they might be a little worried, but here I am, still writing… I kind of want to stay for a while moment…
Hircine did appear in front of me after Sinding fell asleep, standing in his spirit form as a stag while I was washing myself off by a creek. I asked him, had I displeased him doing what I did? Not at all, he said. He said I had turned the hunt inside out, and he found it amusing. I had… No, we had both amused and pleased him. He told me to return the ring to Sinding, for he had lifted the curse. For me? Well, he didn't really have a reward… Me receiving my reward kind of revolved around me killing and skinning Sinding of his hide… That's obviously not going to happen. Oh, whatever, I don't care for a reward.
On a final point, Sinding said that he'd devote his life to being a hermit. He's a wanted criminal and cannot live in the society anymore. I suppose I can respect that… He'll make his home here. I'm not sure if we'll meet again, but I hope we do.