JoS/Kanna/20th Journal - The Laughing Vvardvark, pt. 2

Sun's Dawn, 25th, 3E 428

I'm sorry to say, but my experiences on the first night of work were nothing special. That's not to say my day was objectively "bad", since I met my quota comfortably and all, but it's like, even though the men who enjoyed my "services" made me feel good, there was nothing special about the sex I had. Everything, even the compliments, felt borderline emotionless, and utterly meaningless. There was no passion or love involved because every encounter was nothing but a transaction, and I couldn't connect with my dates on a personal level due to being merely an object, a product to be used and enjoyed. As much should've been expected from the start since I am nothing but a slave in some rich cunt's whorehouse, but can you blame me for wanting a little more from all this?

The only outlier from mediocrity was the encounter I had around one in the morning with a special kind of "customer". I had gathered a small crowd of eight people to watch me dance on a pole half-naked, which was quite a feat considering how badly I sucked at it. Then again, it probably wasn't my dancing skills that had them gathered around me, but rather, my looks.

One dapper young gentleman stood out from the rest with how he carried himself, and I could tell from the get-go that this Dunmer was not like the others. He was looking at me like he knew me, which also made me interested in him. It was the first time during that whole night that I felt like I wanted to pick my customer, but fearing punishment, I kept my mouth shut, knowing the choice wasn't mine to make. Still, I did something I hadn't done to anyone until that moment, and blew him an air kiss with a wink mid-dance.

Unfortunately, while it looked like the guy I wanted was ready to purchase me for a private session, my stunt made another member of the crowd seethe with jealousy. He was an older nobleman, and he protested what I had just done, claiming that he had decided to use my services way before that "well-dressed nobody" got into the play. For whatever reason, the guard keeping check of me was on his side and decided I should go with the old man instead. It made me want to sigh because I had been denied a date with someone who was actually hot, but fearing even that could be seen as a sign of incompliance, I just forced a smile as I got off the stage, ready to go with the old man.

"Hold on", the youngster said, raising his wallet. "I'll outbid him."

I didn't even know that was allowed! Supposedly it was, but the nobleman didn't take it lying down, asking the youngster: "Who in Vivec's name do you think you are?" He then raised the stakes even more, ready to pay double the standard rate, but the youngster wasn't about to be outdone. He announced he was willing to pay triple, practically shoving his wallet in the guard's hands, and the old man could only scoff. He gave up on me, saying he'd have his fun in the coming days regardless, and left mumbling something about "fucking tourists" and "youngsters these days". Then, as the young gentleman threw his arm over my shoulder and announced it was time to go, I sighed out of relief and nodded for him.

Finally inside his room, I stood still in anticipation by the door I had just closed, nervously rubbing my hands together, and asked him: "What would you like me to do, sera?"

"Aliya, is it?" he asked, removing his vest and sitting down comfortably at the bed's edge. I was confused since I hadn't told him my name, but he really knew me, and knew me for a reason. "Name's Thalis, and I'm here on behalf of our patron."

Feeling like I could finally let my guard down, I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow at him, smirking as I asked: "What? So you didn't hire me for my good looks after all?"

"Well, you certainly are every bit as charming and adorable as Aryon said you would be", he mumbled, with his eyes inspecting me everywhere from my bare thighs to my little budding tits. "But let's move on", he said, tapping the bed with his palm twice. "Sit down."

So, I sat down as he ordered. On his lap, face to face with him. I immediately went after his dress shirt, opening it up one button at a time, and while he didn't try to stop me, he was clearly confused by the whole situation.

"Hold on, I didn't come here for pleasure", he said, sounding defensive. He was clearly afraid to put his hands on me. "Seriously, we, no… you don't have to do this. I'm not even that kind of a man, I swear. I'm just here for - "

"Work, I know", I said, whispering into his ear. "So, what is it? Got a message, or want something from me?"

Since I was so close to him, he decided to whisper back. "Well, for starters… are you okay? I mean, after what Savile did to you yesterday…"

"I hated it, and the situation certainly feels hopeless", I said, clutching my slave collar.

"But Fast Eddie provided you with the keys, didn't he?" Thalis asked, smiling gently. "Aryon heard of yesterday too, and he's a little worried about your mental state. I guess we all underestimated the lengths that she-devil was willing to go to."

I just nodded slowly, not being able to say anything, smile, or even look him in the eyes.

"But since you have the keys, Aryon wants you to know that you can always abandon the mission", he continued, surprising me a little. "What I mean to say is, if this feels too insurmountable now, given what Savile did to you, you can just try to escape. Yesterday must've been traumatic for you, so… just saying, you have the option to declare this mission a failure, and no hard feelings on our patron's part if you do."

His suggestion got me thinking, and I certainly want to escape, but… doesn't that carry significant risks with it as well? If I get caught trying to escape, that's probably the last chance I'll ever get. Then, I'd be royally and inescapably fucked, and quite possibly enslaved for life, so I'd just doom myself by digging myself into a deeper hole. Granted, trying to assassinate Gothren carries the same risk as well, but my imperfect - and probably idiotic - line of thinking is… if I'm gonna take a big risk anyway, why not try to cause chaos on the way out? Why try to escape and abandon the mission when I can just do what I was sent to do here instead? Sure, the odds may be different, as the chances of me escaping are probably higher than my chances of successfully assassinating Gothren are, but I don't care anymore.

"Thanks for the offer", I said, finally cracking a smile, "but I will not abandon my duty. Not to Aryon, not to Azura, and certainly not to myself. I'll take my chances here."

"Somehow, I knew you'd say that", Thalis said, smirking.

I giggled in response and gave him a long and loving kiss on his cheek, barely touching the side of his lip. I simultaneously touched his groin and noticed he was pitching quite a tent. My broad smile must've looked so fake and insincere, but it just amused me so, so damn much that despite everything he had said about not being "that kind of a man" and whatnot, he was rock-hard with a little preteen Altmer sitting on his lap! That's a tell-tale sign of a pedophile, and you can't convince me otherwise! "You'll help me, right?" I asked.

"H-huh? Y-yeah…" Thalis responded, looking distracted as I pried his belt open with one hand, all without breaking eye contact. "Well, given that you're still on board, fortunately for all of us, I've got to inform Aryon, but I think you should know what his plan is. First of all… h-hold on, what are you doing?"

Oh, what indeed? I got hold of his dick, got it out of his pants, and got to the floor, on my knees, with my face beside his junk. "Go on", I cooed, grabbing a firmer hold of his shaft, tapping and rubbing my fingers around it a little. "Don't mind me at all…"

"Aliya, we shouldn't", Thalis said. "I-I mean, I'm just here for work, and I'm not even into children, so - "

"Yet you paid so much to spend time with me", I said, jerking him off softly, making him gulp and sigh. It's like he secretly wanted me but didn't want to admit it. Still, even though I wasn't gonna stop teasing him sexually, I also understood the business he wanted to discuss was important. "So, what IS his plan, then?"

"Basically, after I inform Aryon that you're still on board, he'll gather his best troops to invade Tel Aruhn. The plan is for him to take advantage of the chaos the assassination is going to cause, take credit for Gothren's death, and stage a coup d'état." His voice was getting shaky, and his breath heavier. I could tell he was feeling good and was awfully distracted. He was even beginning to slur a little, but despite clearly feeling good, he also looked a little annoyed. "A lot of this hinges on you, you know… a-and you're going to… h-have to figure out an exact date a-and a time to murder Gothren, so… oh, for crying out loud! Are you even taking this seriously, Aliya?"

"From what I'm gathering", I replied, "if Aryon comes here while Gothren is still alive, the plan will fail. If I murder him without Aryon helping and backing me from the sidelines, the plan will also fail. Therefore… we must both play our parts simultaneously then, right?"

"Yeah, right", Thalis said and sighed, letting me continue playing with his prick. Having said what he wanted to hear, I then took it into my mouth, which surprised him a little. I mostly just played with his head at first, running my tongue clockwise across the glans, kissing and sucking it as I got increasingly ravenous. Like, I mostly was just doing this to amuse myself while he was trying to have a serious discussion, but I'm not gonna lie, I was also on a mission to make him feel great and cum all over my tongue! Still, given that I was capable of listening, despite acting all dumb and slutty with him, he didn't protest, and instead, asked me a question. "I'm guessing… you still have no idea how to actually go about the assassination, right?"

I shook my head and mumbled, "Nuh-uh." Well, tried to. Didn't quite sound like it with a cock in my mouth.

"T-that's fine", Thalis said, trying to stay on topic and ignore the fact that I was giving him a blowjob. "According to Eddie, Gothren frequents the brothel, so you'll probably have an opportunity to kill him on one of his visits here. Don't be afraid to use the tools given to you by Eddie to your advantage either, as they might prove useful with planning. Oh, and just like he'll be helping you from the inside… I'll be checking on you as often as I can, okay?"

I responded by giving him a peace sign of approval, all while moving my lips further and further down his shaft, enjoying the taste of his foreskin as I pulled on it, pushing my hand all the way to the back.

"That… really is all", he then said, laying his hands on both my shoulders, almost as if telling me to stop. He didn't actually push me, though, so I didn't. "I-I should be going now, so - "

"But I don't wanna go back to work", I complained, reaching for his clean-shaven balls as I took a break from sucking him. "The customers are mean and treat me awfully! I'd rather spend more time with you for a while longer…"

"But Aryon's expecting me to report back, and - "

"Guards will get suspicious if you leave so soon", I said, jerking off his drool-covered dick. "So we've got to do something…"

He signed and finally buckled. "Fine, you s'wit…"

Despite sensing a bit of animosity and annoyance in his voice, I giggled playfully. "I guess you can just close your eyes if looking at a little kid makes you feel awkward", I teasingly said as I took his dick back in my mouth. That's not to say I was in a hurry to make him cum, though. Just as I know how to make men cum in a matter of mere minutes, I know equally well how to edge them out for a long time, all while maximizing their pleasure. I tried to be gentle through most of my blowjob and didn't move a whole lot to "jerk" him with my mouth, but when push came to shove, I sucked him hard, and I sucked him deep.

Still, as I slurped away on his cock, having a good time, he felt like he wanted to finish a bit faster than I would've allowed him to. He even got a little handsy with me and pushed my head back into his groin as I was trying to pull away, thrusting a little bit forward as he teetered at the bed's edge. "Come on, I'm never gonna cum like this", he said, annoyed, gesturing with his hand to do me harder. "So get on with it, girl. I've got a boat to catch. The guards won't get suspicious if I blast your face with cum."

I was disappointed - especially since I was hoping to eventually transition into vaginal intercourse - but took the hint and decided it was time to go hard. Didn't take long for him to pull out, aim his dick at my face, and jerk it to release a torrent of sperm into my open mouth. Most of it honestly missed, dripping off my cheeks and splashing onto my top, but I still caught a decent load with my tongue. The act, as short as it may have been, also left him panting for a short while as he gasped and sighed.

"I… I gave you what you wanted", he finally said, standing up and fixing his clothes. I giggled in response, saying something along the lines of, "I know you wanted it too", but he didn't comment on it. Instead, he just said: "I really need to get going now, but I'll be back as soon as I can. Stay strong, Aliya."

Hmmm, the way he said that… I've got to wonder, now that I've shown him I'm ready, willing, and able to please him sexually, maybe I was able to also plant a seed of curiosity in his head? Sure would be nice if he could spend more time on his future "dates" with me because I wasn't kidding about rather doing it with him than the regular customers. For starters, he doesn't treat me like a slave like the others do, and second… he's actually hot!

Oh, and the guards actually didn't get suspicious even though he didn't use up all the time he had allocated with me. I did have to return to work topless, though, because they didn't want me to wear a cum-stained top and didn't have a replacement, but I guess it's whatever. Helped me advertise my goods better while dancing, at least…

But that was yesterday.

I managed to share a few words with Fast Eddie a minute ago, mostly to confirm that the keys do indeed work, and to update him on what I discussed with Thalis. While Eddie can't give me pointers regarding how to actually go about assassinating Gothren, he did recommend snooping around outside the cell a little to get a better view of the prison layout. Thalis mentioned something like that too, telling me not to be afraid to use the tools given to me, so I guess I'll see what I can do! It's obviously gonna be super risky for me to leave the cell, even if it's just for a little while, but we do have a plan for making it work.

In any case, despite the constant feeling of hopelessness weighing my mood down throughout the whole evening yesterday, I think I'm slowly, bit by bit, beginning to feel more optimistic about my chances here. Cautiously optimistic, but still optimistic nonetheless. Like, I think this is doable after all! Yes, it's super difficult and risky, but it's a risk I must take to not only change the status quo and break away from these chains, but to also remove the obstacle that stands in my way of fulfilling the Nerevarine prophecy. Kanna's positivity and constant attempts at trying to fire me up are also helping. Safe to say, I wouldn't feel as optimistic as I do without her by my side, and probably wouldn't be able to succeed, period. Really hope these feelings of positivity will also translate into success, as I do NOT want to overstay my welcome in this place…

Sun's Dawn, 27th, 3E 428

Between sleeping and working, I haven't gotten much time for reconnaissance and planning, but at least everything's been going smoothly so far on that front!

In addition to risking getting caught while snooping and lurking around, the most significant hurdle for me to overcome was potentially having to explain my absence from the cell. After all, guards patrol the area regularly to ensure we're safe, which is to say, safely inside our prison cells like we're supposed to. That's why Kanna summoned Staada as a precaution and had her take my place in the cell. The problem obviously is that we don't really look alike, with our hair and skin color being totally different, and she's considerably shorter and smaller than me too, but she kinda sounds similar to me and is a rather adept ventriloquist. Who would've thought? I suppose there could've also been some Illusion magic at play, but it doesn't matter. The point is, as long as she could hide under a blanket or in the bathroom, she could just make her presence known by saying something, and the dumb guards would be none the brighter.

Now that I think about it in hindsight, it was an absolutely, idiotically stupid and dangerous plan that could've backfired HORRIBLY, but the one time a guard walked past our cell yesterday, coming to check if everything was good with us… it supposedly worked! Staada just yelled at the guard from the bathroom, saying something about fixing and combing her hair because she wanted to look presentable for the evening, and it fooled him!

As a little side note, Kanna won't actually keep Staada summoned constantly and will only call upon her when she's absolutely needed. This isn't preferable, as the summoning process puts a strain on Kanna's mana supplies, but hiding a whole-ass little girl in a closet is kinda difficult, so this is sadly necessary.

As far as actually mapping the prison complex goes, I've made solid progress and have a good idea of the layout already. The prison isn't as busy as you'd think, and the long corridors and a lack of good hiding places also made my work a bit difficult, but for what it's worth, I was never in danger of getting caught. I think one slave might've heard me when I walked past her cell, but since she didn't actually see me, I think I can rest easy. And yeah, I needed to hide even from them. I'm sure none of them would rat me out if I explained myself, but you never know.

I haven't gotten the opportunity to explore the guard's quarters or the levitation shaft leading to the tower of Tel Aruhn yet, and I haven't found an exit or a possible escape route yet either, but Fast Eddie says there's a staff entrance inside the guard's quarters, so I know for sure there is at least a way out of here. The other two doors out of this place go through the Laughing Vvardvark itself, and while working at the brothel has helped me to also map that place perfectly, escaping through the brothel feels impossibly difficult.

The customer's entrance predictably leads to the underground district, and while it's just a simple "street" with some stores, workshops, and other services, it's also busy and heavily guarded. While I know what the area is all about and visited the place a couple of times when I was still a retainer, I'm pretty sure not even an invisibility spell could help me slip out of the brothel unnoticed, so there's no point in even trying to explore that area.

Savile's office isn't as heavily guarded and fortified, but the door's locked tighter than a priest in a chastity belt, and while I'm confident in my lockpicking skills, I'm unsure if I can open it without anybody noticing. However, being able to access this door would be very useful as it can potentially serve as an exit route. Could Fast Eddie maybe help me with a key?

Oh, and by the way, I'm not writing about escape routes and such because I've changed my mind and suddenly want to abandon my mission. No, I'm writing about this shit because once Gothren lies dead, I know I can NOT stay here for a minute! Once the deed is done, WE need to get the fuck out as soon as possible!

Sadly though, as I've come to notice during the past few days, doing any kind of reconnaissance regarding the assassination itself has been damn-near impossible. Between dancing, serving drinks at the tables, and being forced to have sex with strangers, there's simply no time. I might just have to start working on that next because, just as I wrote at the end of my previous entry, I do NOT want to overstay my welcome in this place.

I can't wait to be free again…

First Seed, 1st, 3E 428

I still haven't had a truly amazing customer experience, but fortunately, nothing has been genuinely awful either. Instead, they've all been somewhere between "well, this is boring" and "I guess he's okay" so far. It's also a little difficult for me to fake enthusiasm with my dates, but despite this, I've at least been able to make an impression on someone. That someone is none other than my owner, Savile Imayn, and yesterday, she commended me for my work so far and basically offered me a gift on a figurative silver platter.

She actually, literally brought Gothren up and said that she wants me to serve him! To give him something special on his next visit! He supposedly likes to "sample" the new items on the brothel's ever-changing menu, which makes me perfect for this! This solves the biggest problem I've had with planning so far, which is trying to figure out an exact time and date, but with Savile essentially promising to hand me over to Gothren, that problem has been solved!

Oh, but now I have a new problem. This might be too soon. Gothren wants me tomorrow! On Loredas evening! I still haven't been able to map out every area, I don't have an escape plan, and while I managed to brief Fast Eddie about the situation an hour or so ago, I haven't even been able to tell Thalis yet! He didn't visit yesterday! But what if I don't take this opportunity? Will I ever get another one like this later?

Kanna certainly seems to think that worrying is pointless, and that we should just grab the bull by the horns. "The longer we wait, the harder this is going to get", she said. I'm inclined to agree, but at the same time… I'm just so anxious! I just don't know what to do! I want to take the risk because I want to get out of here already, but… it might just be TOO risky!

Okay, deep breaths… I can't afford to start crying and panicking now. I must think about this rationally… or should I? Maybe Kanna is right about me worrying too much. Maybe I should just improvise and go by the flow instead of trying to devise some ultra-elaborate and complex murder plot. That certainly seems to be her line of thinking, as she's not one for planning. I find it hard to get into that kind of mindset personally, but I at least wish I could be as carefree, happy, and optimistic as she is.

Then again… she probably only exhibits those traits because she's literally fucking insane…

No offense, of course…

At least I still have a couple of hours to think before I have to go to work, but I must make my final decision soon. Oh, and I guess Thalis also must visit me today because if he doesn't… well, I guess the assassination won't be happening no matter what…

Whatever I decide, all I know is that I can't fail, and by Azura, I hope I won't.

First Seed, 3rd, 3E 428

I was more anxious than I had any right being throughout the entire Fredas evening, all because I had no idea if Thalis was actually going to show up. You can only imagine my relief when - after five painful hours of working and waiting - he eventually decided to pay me a visit.

Although he was admittedly surprised to hear that my plan to assassinate Gothren required Aryon and his troops to assault Tel Aruhn on such short notice, he assured me it would not be a problem and that they would not let me down. However, he also demanded assurance from me. He saw how nervous I was, which made him worried for my safety, and gave me one last chance to change my mind and back down. I admitted that, yes, I was scared about the whole thing, but after I promised him I knew what I was doing, he hesitantly gave me the "go-ahead". After that, he left with a promise to relay my message to Aryon posthaste and wished me good luck.

There was no more turning back.

Despite my promise to him, truth be told, we still didn't have a solid plan at the time. Yes, we had a rough idea of what we were going to do, but there also were many question marks still hanging in the air, especially regarding factors outside our control. Like, we knew I would have a "date" with Gothren, but what did he really have planned for me?

Well, to put it kindly, not what we expected.

Savile came to pick us up with her entourage of bodyguards at a later-than-expected time, a whole fifteen minutes after the brothel had already opened, but that was far from the biggest surprise. Gothren had made special demands for me, his date-to-be for the evening, and as such, she ordered me to strip naked, as I would not be needing clothes anymore. Something about the way she said it made me nervous immediately, but I was in no position to refuse. So, I tried to push my worries aside and did as was asked of me without causing a fuss. Happy with me, she instructed us to leave the cell, and I thought that was that.

As I stepped outside to face Savile, ready to follow her to the brothel as usual, one of the guards accosted me from behind, pushed my face and chest against the cold stone wall, and warned me not to resist. I tried to, as I was just that surprised and quite honestly hurting because of how hard I hit the wall, but he outpowered me effortlessly and took hold of both my wrists. I felt leather wrapping first around my cuffed wrists and then my bare biceps, and before I even knew it, he had my arms locked tight with a minimalistic, cuffed armbinder.

I turned to face Savile, almost as if to ask her, "What the fuck", but seeing the sinister smile on her face, I couldn't gather up the courage to say anything. I was just so worried because we hadn't accounted for something like this in our plans! Like, all I could think of was, how the fuck was I supposed to play out my part of our plan now!? I could tell Kanna was getting very worried as well, maybe even slightly panicked, but ultimately, just like me, she didn't raise her voice or protest.

The guard moved on to plug my mouth with a wooden ballgag, similar to the one I got accustomed to on the day of our capture, and finally pulled me off the wall. He presented me to Savile who had a short, one-meter-long leash for my collar, and after locking it in, she yanked the leash and ordered me to walk as it was time for the "show" to begin.

After being drugged with Hag's Breath, Kanna was allowed to start her workday normally as the clock struck six, but Savile wasn't letting go of my leash. As the bar's thirsty clientele watched, she escorted me to the far end of the brothel to one of the VIP tables, where a couple of powerful-looking, spear-wielding Dremora were guarding a group of three old men. Even though I had never seen him before this very moment, I could immediately tell which one of them Gothren was, based alone on what he was wearing. He smirked as he saw me, and although I kept constant eye contact, his eyes were only interested in my naked, defenseless body.

He leaned back with a smug, self-serving grin on his face and asked: "Is she the one?"

"Yes, Archmagister", Savile said with a mysterious tone in her voice. "I give to you… Saint Nerevar Reborn."

My heart sank. I couldn't believe what I just heard. They knew? She knew? Since when? All along?

The silence was deafening. It's like time itself froze as Gothren took a tall sip of his wine, eyes constantly examining my exposed skin. He finally broke the long, long silence as he laid the empty glass on the table. "Who would've thought…"

"As you can see", Savile said, tugging on my collar with most of the short, tight leash inside her clenched fist. "She has failed in fulfilling the Prophecy…"

"Truly, truly disgraceful", Gothren said and smirked. "Shameful, really…"

"And… failed in her attempt to assassinate you…"

I gasped audibly and shook my head in a desperate attempt to deny the allegation, but Savile only pulled on the leash tighter, damn near choking my neck to stop me.

"Oh, don't try to deny it, whore. I know everything. We know everything. Nobody can save you now…"

I honestly felt like fainting. I just knew that this was it for me. No, not just for myself, but for Kanna too. For everyone. It was as if everything we had worked for - our plan, our road to freedom, our only chance at escape - was going up in smoke, and I didn't even know who to blame.

"It was never going to work, Aliya", she continued. "You doomed yourself the day you let yourself be enslaved by me, and now, you must face the consequences."

Gothren nodded and stood up as both of the Dremora immediately made way for their master. Now, towering over me and staring straight into my terrified eyes, he ordered Savile to take me to the stage, and she obeyed. I had no idea what they were planning, but I knew it wasn't anything good.

After ordering the dance stage to be emptied, Savile brought me to the forefront with the Dremora in tow, for all of the brothel to see. It wasn't a scene unlike what I'd experienced before, as I'd spent quite a lot of time dancing on this very stage topless, but everything felt different. Now more than ever before during my stay here, with the faces of dozens of men staring at me and seeing everything, I wanted to cover up and hide, but the way Savile was holding me tight by the leash made sure I couldn't even buckle my knees, and I was utterly helpless to even move my arms as I struggled against the unforgiving bindings. And, as if the humiliation wasn't enough, the fear of never being able to make it out of this place was eating me inside. I just closed my eyes and cried, sniffing, trying to at least turn my body to the side so the men at the front wouldn't see between my legs.

From underneath the quiet murmur surrounding me, Savile's booming voice rose as she addressed the crowd. "Gentlemen! The most esteemed guests of this fine establishment! May I have your attention? …It has recently come to my attention that this little girl here thinks she's the Nerevarine!"

The crowd flared up, and the murmur grew louder.

"What a joke, right?" Savile continued, full of mirth, almost as if laughing through her sentence. "Someone like HER? An outlander? A WHORE!?"

I could hear an old man yell from the otherwise quiet crowd. "She's a heretic!"

"That's right!" Savile replied. "This young woman is nothing but a heretic! A puppet of a malicious Daedra! She brings shame to our culture, our traditions, and our people with her claims!" She leaned in closer to my face as she spoke the next words. "The way I see it… she's nothing but a false Incarnate."

I wanted nothing more than to stare at the ground as she spewed her insults, but I opened my eyes to face the crowd, praying that at least something was going according to the plan. I was desperately looking for Kanna, wishing she would quickly grasp the severity of this situation, but she was nowhere to be seen! I didn't even know if that was a good or a bad thing! Like, I couldn't stop thinking how they must've gotten her too!

I ended up only having a few seconds to search for her before the Dremora suddenly took the legs from underneath me and brought me to my knees. Savile grabbed me by my hair and yanked my head back painfully, all while the two armed daedra took their ebony spears to my neck with the blades kissing - and even cutting - my skin right underneath the iron collar.

"I should kill you on this very spot for your crimes of blasphemy", Savile spoke, practically breathing into my face, every spoken word oozing with malice. I was starting to bleed, I was in pain, and I was so terrified I couldn't stop hyperventilating! My heart seriously felt like it was about to burst into flames! I even heard a couple of people in the audience shouting at Savile to just get on with it and behead me, and for a moment, I was convinced they were going to do it!

"…But why let a perfectly good slave go to waste? You're far more valuable to me alive, whore. Besides, even if you were the prophesied Nerevarine - which I highly doubt, to be honest - it's quite clear to everyone here that you've already failed your mission, like so many false Incarnates before you." She let go of my hair - although I still couldn't move with the spears digging against my skin - and moved on to caress my tear-soaked cheek. "What I offer you here is mercy, Aliya", she whispered, probably quiet enough for nobody off-stage to hear us. "For a heretic like you, even death would be preferable to what the Tribunal would do if they got their hands on you. But here… for you… I offer a chance for you to atone for your sins through submission and labor. I offer you a chance to keep on living, and all I ask in return is absolute, unconditional obedience."

I closed my eyes and held back my tears as her hands wandered lower, skillfully groping and pinching my chest and rubbing my vulva. I had no choice but to listen to her, accept her terms, and let her have her way with me. I knew I had failed, although honestly… can you even call this a failure? Perhaps you should be calling ME a failure. After all, just like she said, this was always bound to happen the moment I let myself be deceived by her. It's all my fault.

"Given how you've already gotten a taste of your new life, Aliya", she continued, with a voice as sweet as I'd ever heard her speak. "Safe to say, it isn't so bad, is it? You know I'm a benevolent mistress who treats her slaves well…"

I just nodded - as carefully as I could - and the moment I did, the Dremora lowered their spears from my neck. I think it was Gothren who ordered them to get off my hide, but I can't say for sure. All I know is that he finally spoke himself. Being a man of few words, however, he only ordered Savile to let go of me and took hold of the leash hanging from my neck.

"I thank you all for your time and attention", Savile said, addressing the crowd for one final time. "Soon enough, you'll be able to enjoy her services again as normal."

Barely even glancing at me, Gothren tugged on the least, instructing me to stand up and walk, and once again, I had no choice. There was no struggling out of the bindings or running away, and somehow, I just knew that things were about to get even worse from here.

Sure enough, he brought me to a familiar place, the dungeons underneath the tower, and faced with those tiny slave pods with their restrictive chairs inside, I knew immediately what he was planning. I recoiled and tried to plant my feet, but the Dremora took hold of me quickly, and without as much as saying a word, they pushed and shoved me into the pod. They lifted and held me up, and locked me into the device, first by my legs, and then - after removing the armbinder - by my wrists, all while I struggled and shook my head in defiance.

The Dremora immediately made way for Gothren and allowed him to get right in front of me. He was so close I could've kicked him, punched him, stabbed him, but at the same time, he was so far away, out of my reach. Yet, he could reach me, and do anything he wanted. He chose to push his palm against my boob and to touch my pussy, squeezing me gently while running his middle finger up and down across my exposed slit. I tried to close my legs up in vain, but try as I might, the bindings wouldn't give me an inch. I could only push my hip up from the chair a little, a sight that brought sick pleasure to his face. Worse yet, my body was reacting, all because of those damn drugs. I was already a little wet and ready for penetration, as became apparent when he stuck his finger inside me.

Surprisingly, though, he still didn't choose to berate or even talk to me. He just smirked as he pushed another finger into me, thrusting into me faster. As he pinched me and rolled his fingers around my nipple, he also cast some kind of a spell on me. A few spells, in fact. At least one of them was burning through my magicka, but I have no idea what the others did.

"Think I didn't notice you had unenchanted cuffs on?" he asked, fingering my pussy so hard he made me squeal into the gag. "How in the world did you even manage to get your hands on them? Or get rid of the slave cuffs you're supposed to be wearing, for that matter. I think someone on the inside's been helping you…"

I didn't even try to deny it. It's not like it even fucking mattered anymore. I just apologized - or at least tried to - with tears streaming down my cheeks.

"You'll have a chance to tell me who that someone is soon. In fact, I'm going to keep you locked in that chair until you reveal the names of all your accomplices. They will all pay."

I still didn't know what this meant for me, but this time, his admission of ignorance didn't sneak past me. I thought they knew everything about our plans, but suddenly, it didn't seem like it anymore.

"Oh, and just for demonstration's sake", he continued, "I'll give you a taste of what you're going to suffer through if you don't spill the beans in a timely manner, little girl…"

He pulled his hands away, and stepped out of the way to show me what I was dealing with. I wasn't even sure what to expect, but it sure as hell wasn't a giant fucking insect! I don't even know what it was! It was some kind of a massive armored centipede with a pitch-black exoskeleton, and it also had some characteristics similar to that mutated Kwama Queen I was raped by in Therana's dungeon. Namely, tentacles.

That giant thing got into the small cage with me, mounting me and the chair from behind my back, and its tentacles and tendrils got to me quickly. Even though they didn't have to, they latched and coiled around my limbs, and even reached toward my breasts, pussy, and anus to inspect me.

"Don't you worry", Gothren said. "She's been strictly trained to associate the scent of a female with a seedbed, and she knows better than to kill those that are going to host her offspring. I wonder how many maggots you're going to birth before you're begging for me to lend you an ear…"

Its grotesque, pitch-black, tentacle-like ovipositor shot up from below me next, and seeing just how monstrously huge it was, I just couldn't help but let out a scream! I didn't want that disgusting creature's eggs in my belly, but it just kept coming closer, rubbing against my wet pussy as it tried to take aim and push inside!

"Screaming and crying won't help", Gothren said, all while the tentacle kept inching closer and closer to insertion with each subsequent rub and thrust. "Last chance. Tell me who's been helping you. That's the only way this is ever going to stop."

It's actually a small miracle I didn't buckle and give Gothren the answers he was looking for, given how much I hated being in that position, but I just couldn't allow myself to do it! Not while there was still a chance I could be saved! No fucking way! If he really didn't know about Master Aryon's involvement, about how Fast Eddie had been helping me on the inside, and how Thalis had been working as a messenger between me and the outside world, then there still was hope for me, and believe me when I tell you, I would rather get raped by tentacles a hundred times over than throw my allies, my potential saviors to the wolves!

So, I shook my head and stubbornly screamed, "No!"

I could see it in his eyes. It's not the response he was expecting, but seeing as it's the one he got, he didn't try to push the issue. "Have it your way then", he said and turned his back on me. "Maybe I'll have an easier time squeezing the answers out of your little friend…"

Hearing that filled me with both fear and rage, as I couldn't bear the idea of him subjecting Kanna to this kind of torture either, but before I could even get a chance to bargain with him, he walked away with his Dremora closely behind him. It's the worst possible thing he could've said to me, and I almost wanted to scream for him to come back, but as the door closed, I was forced to drop my gaze to the more pressing matters.

I continued to struggle in vain and watched as the ovipositor finally found its mark. All I could do was brace for insertion, although honestly, nothing could prepare me for how violently it pierced me. It pushed me up from and into the chair so hard, and I screamed as if in agonizing pain. It somehow felt even thicker than it looked! I honestly felt like fainting from the shock, but neither the ovipositor nor my adrenaline rush would let me relax.

It fucked me aggressively right from the beginning, and it wasn't simply thrusting forward either. As the bug moved its abdomen around, it pushed me up with incredible strength, gripping me and the chair tighter with its limbs and tentacles. Every time it did, I screamed a little, and I'm not even sure if the leather bindings holding me down made it better or worse!

Somehow, though, I was getting used to how rough it was handling me. Worse yet, the stimulation was getting unbearable, but worse still, all I wanted was to get out of this mess! Like, I would've been stewing even if he had left me alone with my bondage, all because of what that bastard said to me, but getting raped by that disgusting creature made it a thousand times worse! It was so humiliating and so, so hopeless. I was no longer in control over my life, my destiny, my independence, or even my body. Everything was slipping away like sand through my fingers. Everything. Failure was eating me alive.

I howled and cried as it made me squirt. It was like I was reliving my worst nightmares of everything I went through slaved away in that hellish prison for months. I didn't even know if I would ever get away, and who knew what was going on outside that room while I was locked inside. For all I knew, it wasn't just my life falling further and further out of my grasp, but everyone else's too. Oh, how I prayed I was wrong.

I thought the tentacle stopped, but it kept pushing forward, throbbing and expanding, applying pressure with its protruding tip inside of me. I looked down, only to see her eggs protruding and gently bulging through the ovipositor lodged deep into me. One followed by another, they spread me up and came in with strong yet gentle pushes. I could clench up to fight their advance, but every time my muscles relaxed, they only pushed in deeper. I felt light pain, a tingling sensation under my stomach, which made me close my eyes and hold my breath in anticipation. Even though the experience was and felt familiar, it's just not the kind of feeling a girl can get used to.

It only pushed seven eggs through my forcefully dilated cervix, but after it was all said and done, it felt - and looked - like there were way more of them inside me. Those things were even bigger than those Kwama eggs were, and heavier too. It also pumped some strange viscous liquid into me, and I was so bloated up it was crazy.

Then, it raped me some more and wasn't even a little bit gentler as it plowed through my pussy. It had only been like, what, five minutes? But I was just so fucking done from screaming and crying. My throat felt hoarse, but it kept pushing moans, whimpers and cries out of me. I tried to at least find a better position to rest and relax, but it was just so intense and tiring. Soon, it even made me cum again, but it just wouldn't slow down, not for a long, long time. I wish I could say that time at least flew, but every minute - damn near every second - was filled with torment, not because I couldn't handle what it was doing to my body, but because I just couldn't cope with my inability to do fuck-all while everything was tumbling down around me.

After some more time, I suddenly felt movement in my lower stomach, which honestly made me feel more scared and disgusted than anything that bug had done to me up until now. Somewhere at the back of my head, I was expecting to simply lay the eggs after some time, but then I remembered what Gothren had told me about birthing maggots in passing. I suddenly felt like I could scream again, but all I could manage was a pitiful squeal. It felt so gross having that thing crawling inside of me, and I felt like bawling my eyes out all over again.

No matter how much I tried to convince myself to stay strong and insist there was still hope, I just couldn't help but crumble under the desperation of it all. It had already taken so long, and I had no hope whatsoever that things would turn around anymore.

Not without begging for Gothren's forgiveness, anyway.

I was ready to do it, ready to give up, ready to throw myself at his feet. I truly was. I cried, "Please", even though nobody could hear me. I prayed for him to come back and to please stop the torment. I wanted to tell him everything, all for a chance that he would show me mercy.

I wanted to admit to him that she was right about me, that they were right. I was willing to serve and obey unconditionally, just as she demanded.

All because I know I'm a failure. I failed. Luckily, she didn't.

Fuck me, do I deserve to get whipped and slapped for doubting her or what? Even for a moment! That girl, I swear, she's as amazing as she's insane! What did she do when she saw me get chained? Oh, she did nothing but stand there and gawk? Did she panic? No, she started to think! She didn't give up on the plan, and she began to adjust and improvise! She looked at the cards she'd been dealt and tried her best to come up with a new plan on the fly! In a matter of minutes, just like that!

She quickly found Thalis - after we didn't even think that guy was going to show up - and she managed to slip out of the brothel with him! And the dumb guards let them! Still thought he was a normal customer! She told him what was going on, told him that they would have to act fast, and act fast they did! She made it back to her cell, got her hands on her weapons, armor, tools, and trinkets as planned, and got to fucking work!

Goes without saying, the enemy quickly figured out they might've fucked up by letting Kanna slip through their fingers before they could apprehend her, just like they caught me, but it was already too late. She narrowly escaped capture and even left a couple of corpses in the prison, which unfortunately didn't go unnoticed by Savile for long. However, by this time, she had already disappeared into the shadows, all thanks to the Ring of Khajiiti, and the two-dozen-strong security apparatus of Laughing Vvardvark just couldn't locate her.

Based on what she saw and heard while sneaking around Tel Aruhn's underbelly, they thought she had escaped, and at this point, she honestly could have abandoned the mission and left without me. I wouldn't have even held it against her if she did! No, I would've been fucking happy for her for not having to share this cruel fate with me! But she didn't! She saved me! She took down the two guards that had supposedly been stationed to guard the dungeon where I was locked, and while Staada, whom she had just summoned, dueled and bested the bug, she helped me out of my bindings! I can't even begin to describe how happy I was to see her, and fair to say, she shared the sentiment wholeheartedly.

I fell to my knees as soon as she let me down, but before I could collapse on the floor from exhaustion, she caught me with a hug and apologized. She was just so, so sorry for taking so damn long, but she didn't even know what had happened to me. For all she knew, I could've even been dead!

Still, even though we both would've loved to just sit there in peace and cry tears of joy on each other's shoulders, we both knew there was no time to waste, and we couldn't stay put. The enemy was still on the move and looking for her, and the whole island was abuzz, all because of what was happening both inside and outside the brothel. Our original plan involved weakening - or possibly even killing - Gothren with a poison, and somehow, Kanna had managed to slip the said special poison into his drink with the help of some random slave! Aryon's men were also on the move, all thanks to Thalis making it safely out of the brothel after parting ways with Kanna! If there ever was a time to kill Gothren, it sure as hell was this very instant!

That's when Kanna offered to do it, and told me to get out while I could. I was battered, tired, and unarmed, while she was well-equipped, dressed to fight, and most importantly, energized and motivated. I could easily use the ensuing chaos to escape, while she could just as easily use the tools available to her to take that man's life. The only reason she hadn't already done it was because saving me took precedence and because of how well-guarded that man is. Even if she had tried to kill him earlier, there was no way she would've made it out of the situation alive, but this time, she promised there was no chance she would fail.

Now, all she needed from me was an answer. The decision fell on me to make, and I had to make it fast.

I wanted to believe she could do it alone, and I wanted to trust her, but ultimately, I couldn't let her do it alone. No, no, it's not even a trust thing; I just thought that I HAD to be involved. I couldn't just leave it all to her! I told her as much, and she just smiled and nodded, placing a familiar-looking dagger into my hands. She gave me the Mehrunes' Razor. I almost didn't want to accept it, and honestly, I didn't even know if I could accept it! Like, Mehrunes Dagon gifted it to her, not me! Still, she insisted on me using it. "One stab is all you need to kill him in an instant", she said.

I was hesitant, but I nodded, after which she finally helped me to my feet. We could finally put the final leg of our plan into action.

Since Aryon's men had already landed on the island, the brothel was understandably closed, and Tel Aruhn was under strict lockdown. We didn't necessarily have to create more chaos, but summoning a Flame Atronach in the dungeons to serve as a distraction certainly helped. Besides, now they had some fires to put out on top of having to deal with everything else going on!

We didn't waste time going after Gothren, and thanks to Kanna's reconnaissance earlier, we knew exactly where we were headed. I mean, where else would a Telvanni Wizard retreat to treat his wounds than the tippy top of his very own tower? The poison he'd been fed did have an effect that burned through his Magicka in addition to every other gnarly side effect, but we just knew that wouldn't stop him from getting there. We knew he'd be there, hiding from harm, and we weren't wrong.

His private chambers were surprisingly empty when we arrived under the cloak of invisibility, but there were some guards present, and they unfortunately sensed our presence when we reached the tower's central hub, a large library. Staada, who couldn't turn invisible, honestly did most of the fighting, but as talented as she is, she couldn't have made it without us helping her from the shadows. Still, the problem now was that Gothren knew his tower had been infiltrated, and he sent everything at his disposal to get rid of us.

There were five of them left, Gothren included, and while he was still suffering from the poison, and was nothing but a shell of his full-powered self, he was still a formidable opponent, especially with the two elite Dremora fighting by his side. In fact, I didn't think there was a world where we would overcome these odds, especially with the two guards heading straight toward me. I was so, so out of my element fighting with a dagger after such a long time, but I managed to even surprise myself! I don't know if they just underestimated me, or if they were just unskilled or what, but I managed to cut one of them down using the techniques Karim had taught me just as he was about to strike me!

The other guard turned way more cautious after seeing his compatriot fall down, but having his full attention on me, he couldn't defend himself against Staada striking him from the back. At the same time, Kanna also managed to assert her power over one of the Dremora, and took control of it! It was the first time she had ever tried to dominate a Daedra that was under the control of another summoner, but still, she succeeded! I guess they weren't really as strong and intimidating as they looked!

Gothren couldn't believe it. It seemed almost as if he knew he had to escape. I mean, he should have tried to teleport away if he knew what was good for him, but that's also where the poison came into the equation. As I said earlier, he didn't have much magicka left because of it, and since he probably hadn't been able to recover it quickly enough, there was very little he could do. Backed into a corner, he was forced to fight back with the little he had.

Had he been younger, and had he been more skilled in close-quarters combat, he might've been an unbeatable opponent, but in the end, he was a mage, through and through, and an old man on top of that too. He almost managed to stop me by launching a powerful, fiery Destruction spell, and even though I managed to dodge most of it, I did get hurt. He also tried to draw his dagger to defend himself, but it was too little too late.

I cut him down, screaming all the way through, and then I struck him again. Again and again. I didn't even care if he was going to die quickly or slowly; I just wanted blood, I wanted revenge, and I wanted him to feel pain.

I don't even know how many times I struck him. It was all a bit of a blur, I was just so blinded by rage. All I know is that I struck him many, many times, even long after he was already dead.

I finally stopped to look at what I had done. I didn't even know a man could hold so much blood.

I thought I'd feel joy, or at least feel better, but somehow…

All I felt was emptiness…

First Seed, 4th, 3E 428

I still haven't been able to piece everything together. I mean, Savile finding out about me being the Nerevarine is easily explainable. When we first met, I had the Moon-and-Star on my finger, which is undeniable proof of my identity, and sure, it should've gone without saying, but being the Nerevarine isn't something I can hide. My adversaries know exactly who I am, and they don't exactly take kindly to my claims and existence! Safe to say, Savile and Gothren were two such people!

But like… how did they figure out the rest? Rather, how did they figure out I was on a mission to take his life without knowing what my plan exactly was? Did they just assume that's what I wanted? Was it a lucky guess? Paranoia? Did someone tip them off? I mean, it wouldn't surprise me if Gothren had his own counter-intelligence department, and agents working for Master Aryon, for example…

Wait, could someone even have read my diary? No, no, that doesn't make sense. After all, if they had read it, they would've figured out absolutely everything, and yet, Gothren wanted to torture the names out of me because he supposedly didn't know who I was working with besides Kanna. The whole torture shtick could've also just been a test…

I suppose it shouldn't matter anymore because the deed's been done, but it just won't stop bugging me.

Still, what a fucking disaster. Never trying anything like THAT again! In fact, I really have to be even more careful going forward.

Regardless, while the chaos ensued following Gothren's assassination, Aryon's allies took advantage. The coup didn't happen without casualties, but it was over very quickly, and by the end of it, nobody stood in his way, and not a single civilian or slave was harmed. Safe to say, it was a roaring success on his part.

Without an Archmagister to lead the Telvanni, the House was briefly thrown into chaos, but just as Aryon had acted as an agent of discord, he also presented himself as the answer to the House's woes: past, present, and future. In his publicized speech to the Telvanni council in Sadrith Mora, he first and foremost voiced displeasure over Gothren's constant procrastinating and negligence toward the current events, which were hurting the Telvanni society as a whole. He also spoke of the Empire's decline and the importance of preparing adequately for the hardships ahead, setting himself up as a strong, powerful, and most importantly, reliable leader for the following decades and centuries to come, promising continued wealth and prosperity for all of House Telvanni.

Since he was the only Telvanni Master to publicly announce his bid to become the new Archmagister, none were willing to oppose him or contest his rule in any kind of serious capacity. That's not to say that everything will be all hunky-dory going forward, though. Aryon, like every other leader in the history of Tamriel, will never be accepted by everyone, especially not by those loyal to the previous Archmagister, and if there's one thing I've learned about politics during my short life, it's that these kinds of things can lead to some very, very passionate disagreements, maybe even violent disagreements. He predicts that the next chapter in the story of House Telvanni will be a difficult one, and he knows he's got his work cut out for him.

However, that future chapter is not for me to write, and I'm not even sure if I wish to be involved. Sure, I'll still continue working for him and vow to remain loyal to him, but this is as close as I'm willing to involve myself in the broader House politics, and I hope it stays that way. Seriously, keep that stuff away from me! Yuck! All I wish is to focus on my quest as the Nerevarine, continue learning and studying magic, and eventually find my peace and happiness.

On that note, Aryon paid me handsomely, promoted me once again, and promised I would be named Telvanni Hortator following tomorrow's emergency council meeting. All of the council already supports my bid, so it's pretty much a guarantee already, and I couldn't be happier and prouder about myself.

That means my work here is done! …Almost…

Apart from having to say my goodbyes to everyone for now - especially Eddie and Thalis - all that's left for us here on the Azuras Coast and Grazelands region is introducing Falura to her future husband. Yeah, didn't have to pay for her in the end! I could just liberate her for free, after we made sure Savile would be spending the rest of her life in prison. Hah, serves her right! I doubt she'll ever see the sun again, locked inside the dungeons of Tel Vos! That is, unless I figure out something else for her. Aryon, sweet man as he is, promised I could get to decide her fate later down the line…

Anyway, where was I? Right, Falura. Even though she's not my slave, or anyone's slave for that matter anymore, she says she wants to do this for me as thanks for saving her from that horrible place. In fact, she's quite looking forward to marrying a man as great as the Ashkhan and becoming a mother. Just need to outfit her to make her look a bit more presentable to her soon-to-be husband! After all, she's supposed to be a Telvanni highborn!

Speaking of being a mother… I've already gotten rid of all the maggots, and the experience of "birthing" them was neither pleasant nor fast. Gods, feels so disgusting just writing that out. Apparently, that thing was a Chaurus, a beast imported from Skyrim, and if I ever see one again, it will be too soon.

In closing, all I can say is that I can't wait to get out of Tel Aruhn, and Kanna shares the sentiment. While the past week wasn't all horrible, not as bad as the Imperial City Prison was for us anyway, we do NOT look at our experience here fondly. Yes, we're both promiscuous little sluts - kindred spirits in that sense - and we even enjoyed ourselves with some of the customers, but we both would much rather be sluts on our own terms. That means doing it only when we want and where we want, and definitely not as someone else's toys to be controlled like puppets on a string!

And Kanna… I know you'll read this, and I want to say it to you out loud too, but I'm just… y'know, a little shy and embarrassed…

I can't even begin to describe how much you mean to me. I love you so much for helping me, saving me, risking your life for me… It's not something I take lightly, and I hope to reward you one day in kind. Until then, anything you want from me or wish to ask of me… I'll be there for you unconditionally…

First Seed, 5th, 3E 428

Kaushad was clearly shocked to see me, for he thought he had set me on an impossible task, but what he was even more shocked about was seeing his new, blushing bride.

Oh, they were smitten. Both of them. It was love at first sight, like a scene straight out of a cheesy Bretonic stage play. Falura was everything Kaushad was looking for in a woman, and even for Falura, this was a dream come true, a chance to start over after years of grueling captivity. While the marriage is still days, maybe even weeks off, this was a cause for celebration, and boy, did they celebrate! The whole tribe, like one big, big family, happy to welcome Falura as their own, bound by love and marriage! Kanna and I were invited to enjoy some food and drinks too, so of course, we decided to stay for the night!

Everything was perfect. Too perfect.

Late in the night, while Kaushad was already on his second jug of Sujamma, he pulled me aside for a serious talk. I immediately got a little worried when he said he could see through my scheme from the start, and initially chastised me for trying to trick him into thinking she was some kind of a "Telvanni highborn" like he had asked for… but surprisingly, he didn't mind! In fact, in his own words, I was very clever to hoodwink the chief of the Zainab, and maybe having a clever Nerevarine is not such a bad thing at all. I guess that was his way of saying that he formally - finally! - recognized me as the Nerevarine.

All in all, I had found him a wife he absolutely fell in love with, and I'm not only talking about her looks. It's like, they're made for each other personality-wise! Falura, having grown up in the wastes, also knows what Ashlander culture is all about, so she'll really be a perfect fit for him! Much more perfect than some stuck-up Telvanni lady would've been!

Now, I've been named the Nerevarine by all four major clans, so that part of the prophecy is complete. However, more difficult work is still ahead. Hlaalu, and especially Redoran, won't be easy to convince to help and back me, and I don't even want to get started with the Tribunal Temple. But I've got to keep trying. I've made it this far, and I'm sure I'll continue to overcome any and all possible hardships that may come my way!

Time to get some sleep before we'll return to Balmora tomorrow. We've got a lot of work to do, but I suppose we could also take a few days off and just relax. We deserve it.

Kanna's been eyeing me expectedly ever since she read what I wrote to her last night, and I hope to have the courage to tell her everything face to face once we get to bed. Gosh, I'm just going to thank her for being there for me, but I'm nervous like I'm about to confess my love to a boy or something. I mean, I do love her, but…

Oh, whatever…

• 21st Journal - Strange Bedfellows (By Karim)