JoS/Henriette/35th Journal - Vampires of Hjaalmarch

Midyear, 15th, 4E 203

Morthal is still just as damp and small as it was when I first visited it. Some things never change, especially in the middle of a swamp. I've never gotten a chance to meet Falion, so I didn't really even know where to find him, but luckily the locals know him very well. In the inn for example people kept going about how he's an evil sorcerer and a necromancer who probably eats human hearts and fucks little babies. Yes, seriously, those are all accusations they levied against him. Anyway, he seems alright to me. The accusations of him being a necromancer stem from him being a master of Conjuration magic.

Things got a little bit confusing between us when it was time to stop exchanging pleasantries and talk business.

I talked to him about wanting to remove a daedric curse, and he linked that to my Vampirism, saying he can't blame me for wanting to be mortal again. Apparently that really is something he can cure, kind of crazy when you think about it. After all, Vampires are undead, so to bring undead back to life would kind of be like resurrection…? Or no…? I mean, you're not bringing back a soul from the afterlife or anything like that… The whole thing confuses me…

Since that was not it, I tried to explain to him that it's a different curse I'm looking a cure for, and then, THEN, before I could explain that what I meant, his gaze turned towards a faint glow on my stomach. "Oh, so you mean that then…"

"Well, no…" I blurted out, with a shaky voice. Now things were just getting awkward, because he knows that this is the mark of Sanguine. He must now think I'm in his service or something… Well, technically I am in his good graces, but I had little say in joining his little hedonistic cult. Not that I care either way. I've grown to like this little tattoo, and Sanguine is chill too. Only after then I was able to FINALLY tell him what happened between me and Clavicus Vile.

That complicated things a whole lot more. Removing daedric curses from mortals is somewhat of his specialty, but removing a curse bestowed upon me by the daedric prince of bargains is not as simple as offering a soul to him. Sure, Clavicus Vile loves mortal souls just as much as the prince next to him, but he's also very unpredictable, arguably as much as even Sheogorath. However, if I were to offer him something that he really wants, then it would be a whole different story.

"I'm going to help you", he said. "But first, you're gonna help me.

He explained that there's been an incident here in the town recently, something about a burned down house. Most people seem to agree that it was intentional, but nobody knows for sure who is the culprit. The people here are very superstitious and on the edge already, so some suspect Falion had something to do with that. Jarl doesn't suspect Falion so he's not in legal trouble, but what he fears is mob justice, and especially what could happen to her adopted daughter Agni. She seems like a nice little girl by the way, although she seemed afraid of me for some reason. She must've overheard Falion and me talking about me being a Vampire. Poor little thing… I'm not gonna bite her, y'know…

Falion has a suspect of his own, and he's not alone in that either. Falion thinks that Hroggar, the Nord who used to live in that house is behind this. It's all just so suspicious to him, how he could move on so fast from his wife and daughter dying and going on to indulge himself in a new lover, the lovely and beautiful Alva of the Moorside Inn. Falion is almost certain that this isn't merely a coincidence.

In short, Falion wants to clean his own name, and wants me to investigate the true culprit behind this horrendous crime. I promised to do the best I can, and do some detective work.

With Sofia and Serana deciding to rest for the day, I decided to stay up for a while longer, even though the sun was starting to get on my skin. I didn't find anything interesting from the blackened, wooden wreckage, but I did get into a little bit of trouble. You see, someone was following me throughout the day, a Nord that goes by the name Benor. This handsome young stud caught me off guard, like really did. Completely enamored I didn't realize I was in danger and let him pin me against a wall. He started interrogating me, but he didn't seem like he was gonna hurt me.

He's an mercenary of sorts, but not really an adventurer, does odd jobs in the area, prides himself in being the best fighter in all of Morthal, even better than any of those milkdrinkers who dare to call themselves town guards. I don't doubt him for a second. I mean, with that physique… He's one juicy, meaty beast! It'd take at least five bobbleheaded guards to take him down!

Anyway, he's been hired to do his own investigation by the jarl, who in turn has hired him to clear Hroggar's name. Basically, we both have the same goal, but different hires, and different targets. He couldn't understand why I was working for Falion, wondering if I'm being tricked by him or something. I told him that we both just want to find the truth, so shouldn't that be what's important here? Luckily, with that, I managed to convince him to work together.

Benor told me that he's been seeing someone coming here on some nights, someone really suspicious, which is why he was on the guard here. He thought I was with her. Anyway, since she didn't appear this night, we're going to have to wait for the next night. Fine by me, as I was getting tired anyway. I'll meet him after sunset.

Midyear, 16th, 4E 203

We didn't have to wait around for our target for a long. Around midnight, the suspicious woman Benor mentioned was digging a hole behind some hills just around the building. She noticed us rather quickly, and it was revealed to us that we were dealing with a Vampire. At first, I just wanted to talk, but she tried to kill both of us. We had to retaliate, and Benor ended up killing her.

Then, it was time for us to inspect what she was digging up, and we found a casket small enough for a child. It was around that time that we noticed someone else besides us, a man by the name of Thonnir. He was crying and wailing, calling her by her name, looking at the woman on the ground, asking why is she dead, how could she be dead, how could we her. It was then that her true nature revealed itself to him after her death. "Laelette? She was a Vampire?" He couldn't believe it, wondering how could it have been that he never knew, and now that she was back, after he thought her to be gone forever, this was revealed to him.

I tried to comfort him, asking for explanation, while Benor proceeded to unground the coffin, curious of what was inside, curious of why Laelette was trying to dig it up. Thonnir talked about how prior to Laelette leaving she used to spend a lot of time with Alva.

Falion mentioned her too: Alva, the gorgeous barmaid with big perky tits that attract a lot of attention from male customers. I couldn't quite put my finger on why I remembered her name so vividly, but now I'm beginning to remember. She once warned me about this village being their "feeding ground", but back then I didn't really know how big the web of lies would be, or what kind of Vampire clan we were talking about. Not that I cared anyway, not back then. Now though… I think she might be connected to what's going on here.

Thonnir thought that Laelette had left to join the Stormcloaks or something, or at least that's what Alva said, I don't know, he was rambling and couldn't make out coherent words in the midst of crying. He was obviously heartbroken, having found out about the fate of her wife. I continued to comfort him the best I could, hugged him, apologizing profusely for what had happened, all that happy stuff I'm not too good at.

As if the whole situation wasn't confusing enough already, Benor dug up the coffin and opened it, only to find a young girl inside, who appeared to be still living. She didn't utter a word, but she looked shocked, almost blinded by the moonlight shining into her eyes. Her eyes were locked to Thonnir, who in turn couldn't believe what he was seeing. He was smiling happily, still in tears, and approached the little girl calling her by her name. "Helgi?" he asked. "I thought you were dead! How could this be!? By the gods, Hroggar will be so happy!"

Now, all I was wondering was, how this "Helgi" girl could still be alive after being stuck in a coffin underground for god knows how long? Days, weeks? No mortal could survive for hours. Well, turned out that she was not quite a mortal anymore, having been turned into a Vampire herself. Sadly though, since she was a Vampire, and had been locked down there for weeks, she was thirsty, and us Vampires tend to lose our sanity if we're thirsty for too long. I haven't experienced it myself, but how she acted was a good reminder that I also could turn into this kind of soulless monster. She must've not even realized what she was doing when she sank her teeth into Thonnir's neck, proceeding to suck his blood. His instincts told him to attack the Vampire and protect himself, but something held him back… Was it pity, inability, or simply his unwillingness to hurt what he perceived to be just a normal child? I'm not sure…

After that, Helgi had come to her senses and she was crying, shocked at what she did, shocked at everything that had happened. We talked a lot over the next two hours or so, and she managed to explain to us everything that had happened from her perspective. Laelette, the woman who had set light to the fire, had actually saved her. We don't really know why, and since Laelette is now dead, we're unlikely to. Helgi couldn't understand why she was left underground either, but fair to say, she was happy to gain her freedom, even though it might be under the kind of circumstances she can't appreciate.

That being said, I cannot even imagine what it must've been like being stuck underground, unable to die, unable to escape, slowly going mad from the thirst… That sounds like a fate far worse than death… She hasn't even done anything to deserve such a fate, so why the Vampires chose to bury her underground is beyond me.

Other thing that made me pity her was the fact that she's like me. Her father may still be alive, but her mother is dead, and she's been turned into a Vampire against her will. I hugged her so tight, it was almost as if seeing first-hand what I was going through back then. I just had to say it aloud, even with Benor in our presence, that I was like her. Luckily, it didn't disgust him or anything, or make him hate me or doubtful of me.

Now, there's just one big question mark here, and that is Alva. If she's a Vampire, if Laelette was a Vampire, could there be a connection? According to Helgi there is, as she claims Laelette was the one who burned down the house, and also the one that turned her into a Vampire prior to burying her alive. Helgi's word was good enough for us, but we also needed some physical proof, which is why we then approached Alva's house.

First of all, she had a little guardian there, with this guardian being Hroggar, the father of Helgi himself. Obviously, he wasn't in his senses, as evident by the fact that he was trying to kill me and Benor. He's been enthralled by Alva and turned into a blind thrall. We didn't try to kill him in self-defense, and instead just subdued him. It's good that I had Benor with me, since that guy's muscles outpowered that crazed lumberjack rather quickly. Like, he was so crazy he didn't even recognize his own daughter!

We found no Alva, but we found her journals. I haven't read them yet, but I'll get around it as soon as I'm done with the other business. For now, Helgi is staying with Falion, while Hroggar is in prison. Falion will probably try to cure Helgi, as she doesn't seem too keen on the idea of being a Vampire, but that's for her to decide ultimately.

Benor is reading Alva's journal now, I'm gonna read them next, probably as soon as I'm done writing this.

Midyear, 17th, 4E 203

The journals made it quite clear that it was Laelette that burned down that house, confirming to us what Helgi had said, and since it was in Alva's journal, she was now a culprit to be hunted down as well. With this solid written evidence, Benor could clear both Hroggar's and Falion's name. Falion was happy, the Jarl was happy, and that poor fool Hroggar was still foaming-at-mouth insane, so he's being kept in prison for his own safety, pending a future release.

Before we can get to Falion's plan of curing me of my curse, I had some work to do. He said he has a plan that "will work", as he guarantees it, but didn't reveal the details.

Meanwhile me, my friends, and Benor were to deal a blow against the band of Vampires that have this village in their stranglehold. The journals revealed to us where their hideout is located.

What we found was their hideout for sure, but inside it I didn't find just Vampires, but also answers to questions I've asked myself in the past, questions I'd pretty much forgotten about. We had killed three of the Vampires closer to the entrance - one of which by coincidence included Alva - and suddenly found ourselves in a dining room fit for royalty. What they served there wasn't the finest game and catch though, but rather blood and flesh of mortals. They also had two adult male thralls standing at bay, still like statues, as well as slaves, two of them, both being young girls dressed in skimpy outfits, being chained to a pillar by steel like some kind of dogs. The leader of the clan, Movarth, was standing there, and he was staring at me intensely. This ancient Vampire greeted me by the name, and shocked me with his words.

"You look exactly like your mother", he said.

Suddenly, I HAD to put a stop to everything that was going on, and warned Benor not to attack, told my friends to hold their horses as well. I didn't necessarily take him seriously at first, so I called him bluff and asked what he knows about my mother. Since he described her as "Helene of Wrothgar", I had to take him seriously. I wanted to know what he was talking about, I NEEDED to know how he could know my mother. I can't even wrap my head around what I learned next.

According to Movarth, my mother, Helene, is still very much alive. In fact, she has lived for just over a hundred years. She's a vampire herself, always was when she was raising me. It's so hard to imagine considering how loving and sweet she was, but if what Movarth says is true, she was raising me for the sole purpose of being turned into a vampire at the age of ten. She was the one who orchestrated my kidnapping too.

I of course denied this, because there's no way that could possibly be true. How did he even know of all of this? Movarth says that they're both part of the same clan based in High Rock. As to why, the answer is somewhat surprising: "It's to create servants, to groom young girls to serve our master in various ways." He didn't go on to specify who this master is, even though I asked him about it.

To put it bluntly, I was meant to live my life as nothing more than a slave from very beginning. "But you actually got away", he continued. "We thought we hid you well, we thought it'd be impossible for you to get away, but you did, like the resourceful little girl you were. Then there was also that whole incident with Ulfric being captured and dragon attacking that brought all kinds of unwanted attention and death to Helgen, which threw our plan off course… Ever since then, we've spent so much time and effort into tracking you down. We thought we had you once or twice, but you just kept slipping away… It's almost as if the hands of destiny have held you in their grasp, far away from our reach. And look at you now. You've become so powerful, and even allied yourself with the Volkihar clan. I heard it was you who killed Harkon? I'm impressed. We all are. Honestly, it'd be a shame to even try to turn you into a slave at this point."

"What are you even implying?"

"I'm telling you that you should join our clan as a comrade."

I wanted to refuse at first, but at the same time, I do kind of want to meet my mother, now that I know she's alive. Could Movarth even lead me to her? More importantly, did I need him to live?

Benor was having none of it. He placed his hand on my shoulder, telling me that this is all a trap and that they can't be trusted. "Look at those poor people", he said, referring to both thralls and slaves. "He just wants to turn you and your friends into slaves like them". He told me to ready my weapons and prepare to fight, and it seemed that Sofia and Serana echoed Benor's sentiment. Even though they were in agreement about what to do, they understood why I was conflicted, and said they'd respect my decision whatever it could be. I myself was split, I didn't know what to do at all! This man knew my mother for fucks sake! He could've even knows where she is right fucking now!

In the end though, it didn't matter. Movarth and Benor crossed blades.

I had to make a decision between which side to take, and my friends were still waiting for my decision. I knew there was no chance for Benor to win this fight, but I also understood why he fought anyway. He knew that there was no way for him coming out of this alive, not without my help. Movarth urged me to betray Benor, saying that his life would be spared, but I knew that would just mean that he would be turned into a thrall. I don't know if I made the right decision or not, but in the end I sided with Benor. Me and my girlfriends joined the battlefield, only to have Movarth chastise me as a fool. His servants joined as well, but none of them were enough to turn the tide of the battle that was in our favor, especially with our efforts focused on taking Movarth down.

In the aftermath of the battle, I demanded Movarth to tell me where my mother was. There was still some life left in him, but he wasn't interested in talking. He claimed that he didn't know, and I called him a liar. He knew about my mother, claimed to be part of the same clan, and now he suddenly doesn't know? It infuriated me. He continued by saying that this coven is just one subsection of a larger clan, but that doesn't mean he's in regular contact with other members. It didn't matter that I demanded answers, I wasn't getting any, and torturing him was not gonna do any good either, because he was about to breathe his last breath pass away.

All I was left was a bitter taste in my mouth.

Benor was obviously in debt to me, and he said it in no uncertain terms. He said he wasn't sure if I was going to make the right decision or not, but I guess he only meant what's right for him. He actually dropped to his knees and hugged me. This big, bulky man hugged me so gently. I just couldn't resist but to hug him back. It helped me get my nerves back together, as I was feeling like a total wreck at that point.

Like, if what Movarth said is true… Fuck… There's nothing wrong with my mother being a Vampire, but did she really raise me for the sole purpose of being turned into a slave…? I just can't accept that… It doesn't even make sense for Movarth to lie about it. Like, he knew so much about me!

As for the two slaves? Well, they've been slaves for such a long time, for many years in fact. They've got no place to return to. We did take them with us anyway. The thralls sadly were beyond saving and died serving their masters in combat.

We returned to Morthal with a job done well. Jarl was happy with Benor, and Falion was happy with me getting his name cleared up. Helgi? Well, there's no way she's going to be happy for a long time, but at least his father is sane again. In order for her to get healed we'd need a filled black Soul Gem too, so there's that whole aspect to her curing herself. She's still to make her decision, but she's swaying towards staying as a Vampire for the sole reason of not wanting someone to die in her stead. I won't judge her regardless of what she chooses to do.

The two slaves we saved seem to want to be cured though, so maybe after they do, they can be sent into some orphanage somewhere. They're going to need a lot of time though.

Finally, what next for me? Well, looks like in addition to having to travel to Solsteim, I now have to worry about my mother being out there somewhere, and honestly I don't even know where to begin looking. Those guys at the Volkihar castle must know about all the different Vampire clans of Skyrim, maybe even beyond, and the same can be said about the Dawnguard. Would I dare to seek those Vampire hunters out though? Probably not. It'd be safer to start with my allies…

Now, I think I need few days to rest… And more importantly, I need something to distract myself with… I feel like I might go crazy if I worry about my mother too much…

Midyear, 18th, 4E 203

Before we can leave Morthal, I have two pieces of business to deal with. First was the need for distraction, and that distraction had to be Benor. He has a cozy little cottage in the outskirts of Morthal, so I allowed myself in, and did what I've fantasized about ever since I laid my eyes on him. He seemed surprised when I approached him at his home, but welcomed me in regardless.

I told him… No, I demanded for him to have sex with me. He refused at first, asking if I was out of my mind, saying that he's not even into little children, but I insisted and said that "I need it more than anything else right now". I'm not sure if that made him crumble, or if he was "denying" me my fun just because he thought I was joking… Doesn't matter, I got laid regardless.

I knew he was about as handsome as a blue-eyed Nord can get, and that he was in peak physical shape, but I couldn't even imagine that he would be so well equipped. As soon as I got on my knees in front of him to go through his trousers, that thick, meaty cock proved itself to be way larger than average. He wasn't even hard yet, but I didn't want to let that discourage me, and instead I just jerked him off to get him excited. I just wanted to take it into my mouth. I sucked him real good, and he let me service him without any interference.

He might've said he isn't interested in children, but he couldn't deny my beauty when I laid naked on his bed with my spread legs inviting him in. He approached me very carefully, almost as if thinking he was going to squash me with all that weight he was carrying. He really is a gentle giant. I had to reassure him to not hold back, there's no need, and I was guiding his cock with both my hands, urging him to just push it in.

Despite his earlier reluctance, he jumped into action and dipped in. He continued to be gentle, but did not hold back at all making love to me. He wanted to make me feel good, and it was clear he wanted to feel good too.

His desire to dominate finally made him pin me in place. He grabbed onto my legs to push them forward gently and leaned in to shag me harder. The whole bedframe creaked as he pumped in and out. He led me straight into climax, and I swear that orgasm was an absolute screamer. He himself came inside me immediately after.

We only got to relax for about five minutes with him laying on his back, and me laying on top of him with my hands on his shoulders and behind his neck, stealing kisses and telling just how handsome he is. He called me cute too, and I could feel his cock getting harder again between my thighs. I wanted to ride him, so I sat on top of it. Even with my pussy taking it in and my hip pushing my body down on it hard, I could not take all that shaft all the way in. Didn't stop me from leaning back, straightening my form and showing him just how deep inside monstrous dick was inside my immortal, unaging ten year old cunny… I pressed my fingers on top of my stomach and told him to look and observe, children can eat cocks up just as well as adults can.

He let me do all the work here. I could move my body at my own pace, but I still tried to do it as hard and fast as possible and milk that cock more. He still had plenty of that batter left in him, and eventually he cummed inside again. That was the end of it though, as it was getting late for him, and I felt a little sleepy too, especially since I had now gotten that adequate distraction I so desperately needed.

That was yesterday; today I talked with Falion, and soon I'll hopefully get to report my success.

His master plan is for me to approach Clavicus Vile and challenge him directly, not through a prayer at his statue, but to his face. Would challenging a daedric prince in his own realm even be a good idea? In Falion's mind, yes. He's a welcoming god, not a violent one in any way, but rather just a schemer and a gambler. He likes to challenge mortals on equal grounds, and thus will most certainly not hurt me. That's Falion's guarantee. He might even take me outsmarting him as a sign of respect. Falion's been to Fields of Regret few times himself, and despite its name, he has never regretted visiting that place.

It's quite a cunning plan I'm not going to go into detail with yet. Me? I'm happy to take the gamble. There's always a chance it won't work, but even if it doesn't, the worst that can happen will probably not be that bad.

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