Life Hacks/Push Billy's Dad into attacking you
You watch as the guy fumes, and are quite pleased to see as you read his face that he is just about at the edge and has a rather strong desire to rough you up. That is the key, he wants to get physically hands-on with you, an area you are quite confident you can come out on top. You might be a bit more hesitant if he seemed to be itching to pull his side-arm or something, but in this case you know you can win.
“You know what?” you say, “I’m not scared of you. Probably the only reason you are so hostile towards women is because women and children are the only people you can threaten around. You’re so chicken-shit you don’t know how to deal with it when a real man appears.”
“Oh, that’s it punk!” Billy’s dad growls as he climbs the last few steps up to where you are sitting in the bleachers. Your mind goes into overdrive now calculating your advantages. You may be sitting down, but in this instance that is actually a good thing. You are surrounded on all sides with the uneven ground of the bleachers, and Patricia is sitting on the isle side of the bench. This means that no matter what, this guy is going to have to traverse an area with hazardous footing in order to get to you.
The world seems to slow around you as you get ready to draw him in, and you find you somehow actually have time to laugh for a second and enjoy the fact that this guy has chosen to approach you from the very worst angle possible, climbing over Patricia and over-extending his balance in the process. You lean your weight back slightly at the very last second as he tries to grab you by the shirt collar, causing him to over-extend himself more as he subconsciously thinks he just needs to reach that little bit more to get you without having to correct his balance, and then all you have to do is gently place a hand on his elbow. This small amount of added weight on his arm is all it takes to make the stupid woman-hater topple face first onto the bench in front of you and then slide down, possibly more catastrophically, into the foot-space below.
“Oh my God!” Patricia yells as she jumps to her feet.
Sensing your opportunity, you jump down on top of him and pin his free arm. His other arm seems to have gotten lodged into the space between the bleachers, so you don’t have to worry about that much. You take a seat on the next bench down from the hapless bigot, and put your feet over him as you pull his arm tight to your chest. You place a foot firmly in the arm-pit of the arm that is under the bleachers so that you can control it and keep it there where he cannot reach for anything.
“Damn it! Get off of me!” He shouts at you.
“Language, seriously, there are kids around.” You taunt the guy, “by the way, I’ll be taking this.” You comment as you snag his radio off his vest. He begins launching a flurry of profanities at you. You watch in amusement for about 5 seconds, and then you press the button on the radio.
“Calling for a citizen’s arrest at Wendell park, officer initiated 24-58, officer subdued, please send back-up, over.”
Billy’s dad suddenly gets quiet at this as his eyes bulge out in shock as he looks you over.
“Copy that… uhh… who is this? Over.” The female voice on the other end of the line comes back, still rather business like despite her obvious confusion.
“Just a private citizen,” you announce back on the radio, “a uniformed officer just attacked me without just cause. I currently have him in a submission hold, and would like some other officers to come and secure him.”
“All right, officers are being dispatched to Wendell park,” she calls back, “what’s your 20, over?”
“Over by the baseball diamonds, we are in the bleachers. I have him pinned in the trough between two rows of benches.”
“Acknowledged,” the voice on the other end says back, “what is the condition of the officer?”
“Awake and alert,” you say back, “possible concussion, he took a hit to the head when he fell on the bench. I have one arm pinned to my chest, the other arm is under the bleacher. I am currently exerting the minimum necessary effort to prevent him from being able to reach anything on his vest.”
“Have you removed any items other than the radio from his vest?” She asks.
“No mam,” you say back, “all his other police issue gear is still attached in its proper place.”
“Ok,” she says back, “I want you to put the officer on the line.”
“Ok, putting him on,” you say. You only just barely manage to suppress a sadistic grin as you bend down and hold the radio up to the officer’s face and hold down the talk button. “Ok, the line is open,” you say to him.
“God damn it you bitch!” Billy’s dad erupts the very moment you give him this outlet. “This bastard’s punk ass needs to be thrown in a cell and butt fucked by every nigger in the system! Get this sorry ass sissy loving ass hole off of me!”
Completely satisfied with these results, you take your thumb off the radio button and hold it up in eager anticipation of what’s going to happen next. There is a very long pause from the other end, it seems this bastard’s little outburst has the dispatcher completely flabbergasted. You begin to glance around as you wait for a reply. The game seems to have stopped and you can sense the eyes of all the kids down on the field looking up into the stands. You can see Patricia has her arms wrapped around Billy, and you are instantly able to discern she is preventing him from interfering in what is going on with his dad. This incident seems to have stirred up quite an audience.
“Ok, private citizen, do you read?” the woman on the other end finally responds after just a bit over 5 seconds of deafening silence.
“Yeah, I read.” You respond.
“There are officers in the area on their way, ETA about 3 minutes. Can you keep him subdued until they get there?”
“Aaaafirmative,” you cheerily chirp back.
“All right, just hold tight until they get there. Over and out.”
You silently laugh to yourself as you set the radio down on the bench above where you are holding Billy’s dad. He tries to struggle against you, but a gentle squeeze with your arm or gentle push with your foot is all it takes to maintain your hold and he eventually seems to give up. You catch sight in your peripheral vision that your sister, Roni, is running around off the field toward where you are.
What do you do?
- Win a Fight (Player)(10) 1st time (X10) = 100
- Get into a fight(5) 1st time (X5) = 25
- Win a Fight (Xander)(10) 1st time (X10) = 100
- (555 + 100 + 25 + 100 = 780)
