Memoir of a Child Slut/Chapter 2

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Tom went on summer vacation with his family. My daily act of self-affirmation was on hold. We both had to go without; me without Tom to lean on, and him without me to make him feel better. My parents didn't like it either. After having spent so much time out of the house, my parents found my sudden everyday presence to be quite annoying. I moped around, asking for things to do, complaining that I was bored. They yelled at me for a week straight and then went after each other as well. Mere days after Tom's vacation had started, my dad left the house. He never came back.

I did love my daddy. Even after all of the hurt and the pain and the abuse, he was still my daddy. So how could he just leave without even saying anything to me? He didn't warn me, he didn't say goodbye, he just left. It really messed me up and worst of all it happened at a time when I didn't have Tom around to comfort me.

Despite my own very real pain, Mom tried to make it all about her and made a huge dramatic fuss about everything. We did cry together, and in some ways the time we spent crying was the closest I ever felt to her, but she also blamed me for dad leaving her which made the hurt so much worse. And although I actively dislike like my mom, she will always be my mommy. That's why what she did next hurt me even more; she sent me away. At a time when we only had each other for support, she got rid of me.

I got shipped around from place to place, passed between and picked up by different relatives for almost a month before I ended up bunking with my cousin Kerri. She was turning 12 and had everything a girl could dream of. She had tons of clothes and tons of friends, piles of toys and scads of makeup. Best of all she could do whatever she wanted. After her oldest sister moved out, all she had to do was ask her daddy while fluttering her eyelashes and things magically happened. Her basement bedroom was huge, and so was her bed, which was why I was supposed to sleep with her. Of course, I wasn't supposed to 'sleep' with her.

Kerri was nice to me when I first got there. She helped me do my hair, lent me some old clothes, and talked to me about all kinds of stuff. To be clear, she wasn't my friend. Not really. Being friendly isn't the same as being a friend. She wasn't as self centered or abusive as my mother, but Kerri definitely wanted to be in control of everything, and being nice was one way for her to control people. Of course I was clueless to all of that at the time. She was just the coolest girl in the world to me, so I was quickly willing to do anything for her. She made me keep her room clean - and do all of her chores really - paint her nails, hold her blow dryer, but it was all completely worth it because merely spending time with her made me feel like I was a teenager. Her birthday took that much further.

Kerri's 12th birthday was outlandish. There were tons of presents. Her parents hired a high school punk band, friends of their oldest son, to play in their backyard. Her entire 6th grade class was invited, partying and going crazy. The police even came, after several noise complaints. I got to go to the party and have cake and everything, but I wasn't entirely included. There wasn't anyone around who would play with me so after a while I went downstairs to play by myself like I was used to.

After a few hours a half dozen girls all piled into Kerri's room. It was a sleepover. They carried in soda and bowls of chips, a few sleeping bags and loads of energy. I was stuck right in the middle of a hyper preteen frenzy. The girls bounced around, danced, and wrestled for different spots on the bed. They talked forever about everything; music, parents, clothes, teachers, boys, periods, sex, nothing was off limits. When it started getting raunchier some of the girls suggested that they spare my innocence and stop. Kerri said there was no way she was stopping and told me that I should leave if I wasn't up for it. I replied that I wasn't as little as they thought I was. That got them intrigued but annoyed Kerri.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Isn't she, like, a kindergartner?"

"There's no way she's in grade three."

"I think she's just short."

"What are you then, a midget?"

"Hey! They're called little people!"

"You can't impress anyone Caroline," announced my cousin. "You're just a little girl."

They had all been sharing all kinds of weird stories up until then, and so I met my cousin's challenge with a story of my own. The difference between my story and theirs is that I knew my story was true. Most of it anyway. I tried to be light on details, but I said that I had an older boyfriend named Damien who I'd done all of my cum swallowing with. Otherwise everything I told them was true.

The girls got crazy rowdy as they drew more and more specifics out of me. They could hardly believe it, but they wanted to hear more. I got a lot of words wrong, but I described the things I could remember as well as I could. Kerri was just as amazed as the other girls, possibly even moreso, but after I had stolen the spotlight for too long she tried to force me to give it back.

"Okay, I've heard enough. It's all bullshit anyway."

"No it's not! I swear I-"

"It's your bedtime little girl. Go find a sleeping bag. We need more room on the bed."

"But... this is fun!"

"You think lying is fun?"

"No. I'm not lying!"

"Yeah? Then prove it!"

The room went silent for a moment. No one was sure where Kerri was going, least of all me. But of course I agreed to do whatever she wanted. Eating cum felt like the only talent I had at the time, so her insistence that I was making it up really got to me.

Kerri led us all out of her bedroom and down the hall. She barged through the open door of her older brother's room but he wasn't there. We stood awkwardly for a time, lots of murmuring and giggling coming from the girls, along with lots of whispering between them and Kerri. A minute later her brother entered wearing a towel, startled by the gaggle of girls occupying his bedroom.

"Bobby! We need your help!"

"I'm not even dressed sis."

"Yeah! That's perfect!"

"The fuck? Um, how about, get out."

"Not until Caroline gives you a blowjob!"

He was almost floored by that, but more amused than anything. Shaking his head and chuckling to himself, he looked me up and down. "What are you even talking about? Get out of here!"

"I'm serious! She's going to prove that she can give a blowjob. And if you don't let her try then I guess we'll just kick her out of the sleepover."

Suddenly the stakes were higher. I went from sleeping on the floor to not having a bed at all. That got me motivated. I bounced up and down shouting, "Please! I can do it!"

There was a bit more bickering before Bobby gave his sister an angry look then took my hand and pulled me out of his bedroom. All of the girls laughed and jeered as I was directed down the hallway. Bobby pulled me into the bathroom which was still hot and humid from his shower. The door closed and he sighed. He started to tell me about how I didn't have to do this, how we could just make some noise and he'd vouch for me. It was intimidating seeing this older boy, even older than Tom, looming over me all manly and tall, looking down with his arms crossed. He had thin muscles and messy wet hair and was quite attractive. I also distinctly remember a bulge along the front of his towel. Dragging a girl into a bathroom for a blowjob was clearly getting his motor running, even if he was mostly trying to talk me out of it. But I wasn't listening. I was ready. It had been weeks if not months since I'd last made Tom happy, and even though this wasn't Tom there was just something inside me that was looking forward to such an unexpected opportunity to prove my worth.

As soon as he finished talking I lunged at his towel, ripping it open. He shoved at my face but I had already grabbed onto his dick. Trying to add distance he took a step backward and, tripping or slipping over his towel, fell back onto the toilet. He nearly fell down between the bowl and the bathtub but threw his arms out to grab the edge of the sink and tub respectively, his legs opening to help stabilize himself. I was already sliding onto my knees and latched onto his semi stiff teen cock once again. The crash of his fall made the girls outside laugh.

"Everything okay in there?" asked Kerri with condescension.

Her brother replied after some thought, with me already pumping his dick to life, his apprehension obvious. "Not really, but... I guess so." That made the girls laugh some more.

There was lots of chatter but I was so focused. I knew that everything hinged on my success. Bobby kept talking to me for a while after lifting himself onto the toilet seat. He may have been trying to persuade me to stop, but he sure wasn't stopping me. His thick shaft had quickly lengthened. Unlike Tom, Bobby's had developed a unique upward curve as it stiffened as if it was happy to be awake. He was cut too, I remember that very clearly, because he looked so different and I didn't have to pull anything back to be able to slip my lips over his head.

I knew that Tom didn't think I was a good jerker, but Bobby didn't have to know that. I tried extra hard to make him feel good. I sucked and bobbed and twisted all at once, trying as many different ideas as I could. I drooled down his shaft so I could get my fingers wet while I jerked him. I lifted his hairy sack and fiddled with each of his nuts to help loosen up his sperm. I was a girl on a mission; to prove Kerri wrong.

"Holy... shit..."

That was the first thing I heard from him that I cared about. Desperate for any extra edge to help make him pop, I looked up into his eyes and kept flicking my tongue while I bounced my head up and down. I could feel his sack tighten and his shaft begin to flex. Bobby planted his hands onto the sides of the toilet and clinched his butt. I like to think that he was trying to hold back, that surely he didn't need to push some little grade school girl off his dick, so confident that he wasn't going to crack. I made him cum anyway. He moaned and sunk his fingers into my hair to make sure I kept sucking as he spurted his seed into my mouth. I took it all, a wave of relief washing over me with every gush of goop.

I won.

The girls weren't laughing now. With Bobby sitting naked and still reeling from his orgasm, I hopped up, flung open the door, and stepped right up to my cousin with my cum filled mouth opened wide for all to see. The girls gasped and shouted with disbelief, but with Bobby naked behind me and his thick spunk drowning my tongue there was no denying it. I turned all around, making sure everyone got a good look before I swallowed. I have to admit that Billy tasted better than Tom, and it was easy for me to make the comparison. It's like eating generic peanut butter for years and then suddenly tasting Skippy's. Part of me didn't actually want to swallow it, but I had to get a word in to shut down my cousin.

"See!" I explained after a big gulp. "I'm not a liar!."

I was so proud in that moment. I had never shown my superpower to anyone before. But I had no idea how they would react. There was silence for a few seconds until Billy closed the bathroom door. Then a quick boil of energy rose up from the group. Everyone started yapping "I knew it!" or "She's crazy!" and they equally wanted to laugh at me and to hug me for going through with it. But Kerri had a weird glimmer in her eye after seeing the lengths I would go to prove her wrong.

I was hauled back to Kerri's room and dragged onto the bed. The girls were going crazy, falling over each other and fawning over me. Suddenly I felt like the popular girl. I laughed with them and had drinks forced on me but Kerri took one last stab at discrediting my success. She dared for someone to kiss me, a final test to see if they could taste her brother's cum on my breath. There were jokes that Kerri would know best, but there was one girl who was more than ready to try. I couldn't even look around the room before she jumped me. She pushed me onto my back and stuck her tongue down my throat, forcefully frenching with me for an obscene amount of time. She lifted my shirt, dragging her nails up my sides to expose my still very flat chest before playing with each of my tiny nipples. Random hands messed up my hair, rubbed my skin, even choked me a little. I couldn't even process everything. I took it all in limply, overwhelmed by the rush of sensation and attention, and let the slumber party do whatever they wanted to me.

It went weird places after that but it's all fuzzy. I'm not sure if the drinks were spiked (everyone sure was handsy) or if I ended up blocking most of it out from being so young and overwhelmed. I'm sure lube got involved at some point because I have vague memories of everything being slick and tasting like fake cherry. I also know that many parts of me were sore the next morning, including my lips and tongue, but otherwise I can only recall feelings and sensations. Suffice to say, Kerri later said it was the best sleepover she ever had.

After that night it was like a switch got flipped in my cousin. She had only been getting me to take care of basic everyday stuff for her up until that point. But after that sleepover she realized that I could also take care of her. Or at least that I could be trained to. Despite all my prior cum guzzling, I was still a mostly clueless little kid. Kerri was sure going to do her damnedest to change that though. It wasn't an everyday occurrence, but she wasn't shy about ordering me to eat her out with very detailed instructions or to make out with one of her friends. Sometimes I would be made to do more ‘innocent' things like run into her brother's room naked and dance on his bed, which got him just as embarrassed as me. Not sure what the point of that stuff was, other than to amuse Kerri.

It wasn't fully one sided. There were a couple times we spent entire days together naked in her bed fingering each other endlessly, back and forth, chasing orgasm after orgasm. It gets me crazy wet thinking about it now but at the time it was just exhausting. She banged me so raw, literally pouring her mom's lube into my tender pink slit to keep me going. She had to work me so hard and for so long because I couldn't climax like she could. I literally wasn't capable of it; I was only 8. But I can vividly remember gasping, sobbing, panting on Kerri's bed all sweaty and spent, hopelessly wishing to climb up and over that steep cliff once again while my cousin mercilessly circled my clit and stuffed my quivering little hole with her finger. She kept pushing me, telling me to cum for her, that the next one was the one, this time was the last time. Really she just loved watching my slight, naked, little frame writhe and squirm against her bedsheets, unconcerned how much of it was from pain or pleasure. Kerri loved being in control of my body.

She didn't pimp me out then. She probably could have. Kerri had me fully wrapped around her finger, literally as well as figuratively. And I loved all of it, even when I was sore. Kerri was my cool older cousin and she was letting me play all kinds of games and do all sorts of weird teenage stuff I'd never even imagined. Ultimately I'm lucky that she wasn't even meaner than she was during that summer because I know she was capable of it. She did have one other sleepover while I was there where she expected me to go to town on her two dykiest friends - her words, not mine - but they ended up fooling around with each other at least as much as with me. I wasn't disappointed. I wasn't actually into girls, or at least I didn't consider myself to be at the time, so it was just as fun to watch as participate.

The only reason Kerri and I were able to spend so much time doing this stuff (beyond the fact that no one ever bothered to knock on her door when it was closed) was that my mom couldn't get her shit together. I was enrolled in school but I missed all of September because my mother couldn't handle taking me back so soon. It had been months since I'd been home, but she apparently was still a mess. I think it was really just an excuse for her to live her life without her seemingly unwanted offspring fucking it all up. But eventually my aunts and uncles convinced my mom to take me back. My own summer vacation of discovery was over.

Going home was hard. Not because I was leaving my cousins but because of what I was going back to. Daddy was still gone. Mommy took that out on me, spanking me for any reason she could think of just so she could hit me with justification - going to bed too early, both telling and not telling her I was taking a bath, for crying after a spanking. She thought up plenty of reasons which kept my ass a bright shade of red for weeks.

But worst of all, more traumatic than anything, Tom didn't need me anymore.


Chapter 3: Loss