TBaby/Jason/Smith

• Start

Alice and Trevor are both mixed-race kids. Nine-year-old Alice keeps her hair tied back in a bunch and when you go up to see them, she's wearing short shorts, a crop top and very little else as far as you can see. "He can't babysit us, he's only a kid himself," she says scornfully when her mum tells her.

Her mother apologises and points out that she is not actually overwhelmed with applicants and that I am very experienced. "You mind your manners," she says. "You either come to church with me or you stay home with this young gentleman to make sure you don't get into no mischief."

Her brother Trevor, a year younger and an inch shorter than her comes out to see what's happening. He's wearing jog pants and a T-shirt and his hair is cut right back to a fuzz. "You don't need to waste your money on a babysitter," he says in support of his sister, but it's a done deal and I've arranged to turn up bright and early on Sunday morning.

"You don't need to do nothing," their mother says. "They'll likely lay in bed most of the morning anyway and if they want anything they can get it for themselves."

• Alice
• Trevor
• Sunday morning, early but not too bright