Talk:Dirty Talk/Three Brats/June 17th, 2021/Daniel brings Heidi and Milka to his cabin

Right, so I decided to just publish this raw and uncensored without a thought put into "toning" any bits or parts of it down. Probably the furthest I'm ever willing to flirt with breaking the story rules, walking on a tightrope around the "no rape" rule, but if there are any strong objections or desire to tone this down, I'm open to suggestions here as well. I'd prefer to not make any major changes, but at the same time… I guess it's whatever. I tried to make Danny's and Milka's little war of words feel more like an ideological disagreement rather than a good vs evil thing, even though admittedly, I totally intended for Danny to be the bad guy on this page. I don't want him to be wholly evil, though. That would be boring, in my honest opinion. Maybe I did a good enough job at it, maybe not. Anyway, in the spirit of the story meant to be a happy one and not a depressive one, Milka will of course get over it and be fine! Or, well, as "over it" and "fine" as a child struggling with depression can be. -- Innocent Ruin (talk) 19:14, 2 November 2022 (CET)

Not where I was thinking it would go! I was thinking Milka might accept a punishment she felt she didn't deserve, sort of sacrificial like Emilia, then felt betrayed by Danny for making her do that. This totally works though. I'd definitely like to expand/tweak a few things if I may. I think it makes even more sense for Milka to be hurt in the way she is that could be "exposited" on here. And I think you're right that Danny doesn't have to be pure evil or anything. He's just selfishly looking for his own bit of fun to tie into her punishment. If anything, he could also feel betrayed by Milka as he thought the two of them had an understanding around such things and she didn't respond the way he expected her to.

One question I have would be why Milka would want to "get back" at Danny at all given how it ended. Would she want to have anything to do with him again? I certainly wouldn't think it would be anything playful, and maybe that's not where you're going with that idea. And that's fine if not, just curious, in part so I can tie in/leave open options, but I'm not looking to make any crazy changes. I can throw my tweaks in and see what you think (and eventually work on other branches again, lol) --Villenia (talk) 00:11, 3 November 2022 (CET)

The reason that Milka may want to get back at Danny and is not as upset anymore is that she did feel betrayed but she may genuinely believe she overreacted like she said, she was not in the best mental state at the moment thinking that Emilia was in danger and she panic and made all this mess and as you said maybe Danny was expecting Milka to react as her usual self but she didn't so he try to push it more but fucked up so that's why Milka now that she calmed down after a week may have thought to herself that she overreacted (i mean yes and no Milka may not have been in her normal state but Danny this cross a line by not realizing this wasn't a play and they didn't had a star there but it could be that he blinded himself in thinking they had a punishment I'm sure he would have stopped if he saw they didn't had a star but still) --Xephion (talk) 04:56, 3 November 2022 (CET)

If Emilia was present, or if Danny was seriously considering putting his hands on Heidi, Milka may have potentially sacrificed herself, but it didn't feel right to me given the context. Like, as far as Milka was concerned, the way she saw it, the damage was already done with all three girls already in deep shit. There was no more room for bargaining, which made her want to be defiant in the face of danger and even try to piss Danny off against her better judgment. A consensual sex scene where one of the girls does it with a guy they absolutely hate could be a fun idea to explore further down the line though, but it could be any of the girls. As for why Milka would want anything to do with Danny, best for me to not say anything. It'll make sense later. Hopefully. Minor tweaks and expansions are always welcome, if you want to do them that is. Always appreciate it when you do, but I always feel bad about asking for help, not sure why. -- Innocent Ruin (talk) 06:37, 3 November 2022 (CET)

Okay, tweaks in! I really enjoy expanding on things when the characters are interesting! Danny especially, love putting his sassy-pants on. :) One tweak I wasn't intending on making was about the gun again. I don't know why that's rubbing me the wrong way, maybe that I think Henry would be better disciplined than that, I don't know. But I reeled that back to having Henry's hand on his holster. A much more subtle threat, ready to draw, and one that any cop would recognize right away. Again, if that's a plot point I'm happy to reverse that. I also tried to make Danny a little more cocky after Henry showed up and not purely angry. If anything he could probably show a little more remorse. He did slap Milka after all, and overall it's hard to see how they can reconcile things with Danny. But the timing of the slap felt a bit too quick, but instead of trying to push it back I just added another! I can see him getting happy-slappy with Milka in the past which could help explain the ease of such a thing for him, albeit with a much different connotation, but if he is quick to slap then he probably wouldn't stop at one!

Anyway, hope this works! And looking forward to finding out where it goes! --Villenia (talk) 08:54, 3 November 2022 (CET)

My original idea was for her to associate physical pain with trauma, ties to her being hesitant towards anal (and hating the dentist lol) but I more or less scrapped that idea. Too restrictive in hindsight, because who doesn't like a rough, loving smack on the thigh or ass? Getting slapped on the face could still be another story, and the thing that made Milka turn from being courageous to being seriously terrified of Danny in the moment, especially with the second slap. (She said she could take Danny being rough, but she obviously couldn't in the end.)

Anyway, 👍 to changes. -- Innocent Ruin (talk) 09:50, 3 November 2022 (CET)