Talk:Dirty Talk/Three Brats/June 21st, 2021/Caught Off Guard/Heidi's Afternoon

well shit is finally happening and man your are teasing me now but hell im so excited for this man ic ant wait to see whta you do

btw i have read all the other stuff you been doing i like some of the changes but i gonna be brutally honest with you about one specifically i feel like they were unnecessary like the whole part of emilia and letting the mom choose the black mark putting that extra part feels like it cheapens the work i mean as a reader i dont like that the character that is supposed to be on a moment of pressure it decides to drops huge exposition for no reason other to make the reassure the reader or to remember old things, at the moment she is thinking to rationally it cheapens it, i like the how it was before not gonna lie. Adding the option to refuse is fine and i like it because is more options is the last part of the changes on that page that i feel is not great it definitely feels like extra stuff that wasn't necessary. but that's just my opinion if villenia and you likes it i wont complain. --Xephion (talk) 13:49, 28 December 2022 (CET)

I value your honesty! But probably not the best page to discuss this, since it's not related to this page. So I'll try to keep this short:

My goal with the change was simply to change the narrative from "what she thinks she deserves" to "what she wants". I personally don't think that cheapens the page or the following scene, and if it does, wasn't my intention. It's also more in line with this story's overall "tone" and "mood", but each to their own. Agree to disagree. Villenia can reverse it if he dislikes it too. I won't die on this hill.

And yeah, I like teasing! Or maybe I've just been lazy. Either or. I'll see if I can push the page out before the year passes. Probably not since work's gonna keep me busy, but it's my first priority at the moment. -- Innocent Ruin (talk) 17:38, 28 December 2022 (CET)

Mostly some spelling and grammatical changes from me. I generally agree with what Xephion is saying (both on topic and off) but I'll grab another discussion page to talk about that there. --Villenia (talk) 19:36, 28 December 2022 (CET)

Havent read it yet gonna do it just now but i was waiting for a post to say this since it felt kind of rude to do it without a new post in the new year but all i want to say is HAPPY NEW YEAR to both of you Innocent Ruin and Villenia thank you for the wonderful last year and i hope you have a wonderful year ahead too. okay now gonna read this --Xephion (talk) 06:56, 2 January 2023 (CET)

ok read it great work as always but im gonna say a small detail i feel like it was missing, is her first time with a dog a Knot is like taking a baseball most people will be scared or react to it like they are surprised because no matter how you think you are prepared for it you are not, unless she had been putting basaballs on her pussy no one is ready to that feeling huge introductions are scary to every human being. she felt to okay with it she need to react a bit more scared or surprised in that moment. just my opinion --Xephion (talk) 07:25, 2 January 2023 (CET)

Good point. I'll add a small expansion later, but probably won't be needing much tweaking. I originally tossed around the idea of her being a lot more scared in general, but opted for only "few happy tears". And happy new year to you too! - Innocent Ruin (talk) 11:34, 2 January 2023 (CET)

Okay, a little switch in tone in the middle. I kinda like it better now myself. Hope it's now better in your opinion also! Still, I've gotta say, that was the first time I've written bestiality and went out of my way to try and make it as realistic as possible. (Talking about the whole page in general.) Dunno whether I did a good job in that regard because while bestiality is legal here, I can't say I've had much experience with the real stuff beyond seeing a couple of terrible VHS quality clips! But it was a fun experiment. And picture also related. [1] -- Innocent Ruin (talk)