The Aristocrats/Original

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This is the original context in which "The Aristocrats" first came into existence. Now, usually "The Aristocrats" focusses on the perspective of the father, the agent, or a non-involved audience member. However, due to this format, it's quite possible to use any perspective imaginable. Which perspective are we going to use for this version of "The Aristocrats?"

Note, age, gender, and whether or not the audience member is involved can be determined during the course of the telling.