User talk:Santa

From All The Fallen Stories
Revision as of 00:07, 11 April 2019 by Telgar (talk | contribs)
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I am extending the story, but it would be good to have some help... Santa


I added to one of the sections, however the story jumps around pretty badly, sometimes going to parts that you did not select or forces the reader to do things they were not interested in, for example Page 22 you have a fun enjoyable scene with little Molly, but both choices force the reader to do things with Harry, where only one choice actually indicates your going to do anything with Harry. I would recommend getting the story's continuity built up, fix the pages that jump to content not selected by the reader, maybe flesh out your individual pages with some more description and or actions between choices and give the reader a variety of choices other than simply a good end, bad end situation. --Telgar (talk) 23:00, 10 April 2019 (PST)