Yes/Chad/Tell Michael you'll be keeping the ring

"I'll be keeping the ring," you say firmly to the gigantic angel. "You'll just have to deal with it."

"With the power that the ring has, I suppose I have no choice," says Michael calmly. "Perhaps we can come to an arrangement, however?"

"What kind of arrangement?"

"My concern is the ring existing at all. The problem is not going to go away, even when your time on this Earth is done. If you would be willing to surrender the ring upon your passing from this world, I would offer you my services in as far as my duties to Our Creator permits."

You are a bit conflicted. On the one hand, having an Archangel in your corner could come in very handy. On the other hand, Michael is a fucking Archangel! If she . . . he . . . damn, this pronoun thing is a pain in the ass . . . if Michael should somehow turn against you, it could be trouble. Could Michael even do that? What are the rules here? You have questions, but the ring makes getting answers troublesome. You sure as Hell aren't going to take it off in his presence . . . but there might be another way.

"I have questions," you say. "I am not going to take the ring off, but I want truthful answers, not for the ring to make everything true; so here is how this is going to work. I am about to make a series of statements. You will tell me truthfully if you agree or disagree with the statements, and add any pertinent details. Additionally I will be asking questions that cannot be answered with a yes or no answer. You will be completely honest with me during this session, and will not attempt any subterfuge. Do you agree to this?"

"You know that I must."

"What's to stop you from hastening my demise just to get the ring?"

"No angel may cause harm to any human being without the direct order of heaven. This is one of the sacred trusts that we have with Our Creator. No angel would break that sacred trust for fear of being cast out of Heaven."

"That would mean that you couldn't harm anyone else, even to protect me then."

"That is an accurate statement. While I couldn't harm a human attacking you; I could protect you from harm that they were trying to cause you." Well, that lessens Michael's usefulness quite a bit.

"What are you allowed to do on my behalf, or rather, what would you be restricted from doing?"

"The duties of a guardian angel are to protect the subject of guardianship from harm, whether intentional or environmental. For instance: Guns fired at you would always miss, or only hit you in a location that did superficial damage. If you were in a car wreck you would emerge relatively unscathed. If you were in a nuclear detonation you would suddenly find yourself a safe distance away. Guardian angels can also battle any natural or supernatural force to protect you, so long as they are not human.

"In addition to the benefits of guardianship, you would also benefit from my knowledge of existence, and my 13 billion plus years of life. I would answer all questions that you posed to me honestly and fully. You could also send me on errand that I would perform, so long as they did not conflict with my duties to Heaven."

"How can I be sure you're not lying, just to stay close on the chance you can seize the ring?"

"First, any angel must abide by the tenants of any compact that they make with humanity; even fallen angels. This is not saying that it is a rule, it is a law. Unlike saying that 'George can't tell a lie.' for example it is more like saying 'Light travels as a particle and a wave.'. An angel simply cannot break an agreement. Beyond that, the power of your ring itself is enough to force compliance on any being."

"You have a point about the ring's power. What's next?" you ponder. "I know: You would try to restrict my use of the ring."

"I neither agree nor disagree with that statement. It is not the place of any angel to directly compel a human to do or not do anything, that goes against free will and is another sacred trust that we would not break for fear of being cast from Heaven. It is our duty to gently encourage you to walk a righteous path, however. You will find that a righteous path is much less restrictive than the organized religion's of Earth believes it to be, however. You humans keep adding new rules not dictated by Heaven onto yourselves."

You almost ask a question, but stop yourself, and turn it into a statement . . . barely. "I would have to endure constant sermons on responsibility and the rights of others."

"I mostly disagree with that statement. I would only be visible and present when you call me for my services. I would otherwise be nearby, invisibly protecting you from harm. I might offer alternatives to decisions of yours that would be better for your soul, but it would be entirely up to you to follow or ignore my recommendations."

"You mentioned the sacred trusts of angels. What is their nature, and what are they specifically?"

"Angels were created as the servants of the One God. In this capacity there are certain conditions that are universally expected of us. These are the rules that we exist to serve. Breaking any of our sacred trusts is an affront to Our Creator and results in expulsion from Heaven. Those that can be expressed in language include:

"Angels must obey all commands from Heaven without question or hesitation.

"Angels must never cause harm to a child of Adam, except by direct order from heaven.

"Angels must never lay with a child of Adam. The Nephilim produced from such unions are an affront to Heaven.

"Angels must never subvert the free will of a child of Adam.

"Angels must never seek power not given them from Heaven.

"There are other tenants, but they cannot be expressed through language at this time. Once your understanding of the universe has increased it may one day be possible to do so."

Getting that information reminds you that you still need some esoteric information related to your potential agreement with Maebh. It shouldn't be a problem to get if from Michael.

"Recently a contract has been given me that I do not fully understand. What do the terms 'ancient tenants of The One God' and 'ancient laws of mystical stewardship' mean in that context?"

"The so-called ancient tenants of the One God in the context of the contract the witch Maebh sent to you simply sets Heaven as the governing authority to punish breach of that contract, as opposed to another agency. Breaking the contract would thus be a sin against Heaven. The ancient laws of mystical stewardship sets down rules governing the relationship of master and apprentice for the purposes of mystical apprenticeship. They are loose regulations that have been used by users of magic and their disciples from the earliest age of magic. Simply put, it requires of the master truthful instruction to the betterment of the student's ability to understand and perform magic; and requires of the student to refrain from using magic against their master. Mystic stewardship can be ended by master or apprentice simply by stating that they no longer desire to be so bound. This has nothing to do with our arrangement, however. What say you?"

What say you?

• Agree to Michael's arrangement. Request --Notsooldpervert (talk) 01:00, 22 February 2017 (CET)
• Refuse Michael's arrangement.
• Cause Michael to Fall from Heaven by having sex with her. (Request) --Foreman (talk) 04:01, 18 August 2020 (CEST)
• Make Michael leave you alone using the ring.