Talk:LHLS/TalkPravatesLanaL: Difference between revisions
Created page with "NOTE: I am really not satisfied with this one at all. I very well may be giving it a complete overhaul from scratch at some point. ~~~~" |
No edit summary |
||
| (One intermediate revision by one other user not shown) | |||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
NOTE: I am really not satisfied with this one at all. I very well may be giving it a complete overhaul from scratch at some point. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 02:28, 12 September 2017 (CEST) | NOTE: I am really not satisfied with this one at all. I very well may be giving it a complete overhaul from scratch at some point. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 02:28, 12 September 2017 (CEST) | ||
Without knowing too much about the before and after of this scene, it's hard to give opinions, but what about something like this: | |||
<div style="padding: 0.1em 1em; background-color: #DDDDDD; border-radius: 0.3em"> | |||
Lincoln: "Umm... well... Yeah! Yeah, I like looking at them, though. I don't really get to see what a girl looks like down there all that much since I'm a boy and all." | |||
Lana: "Really? I have to look at Lola's whenever we take a bath." | |||
Lincoln "You don't take baths." | |||
Lana: "I DO too! Mud baths count!" | |||
Lincoln: "And you see Lola naked how?" | |||
Lana: "I have to make sure the water is good for her before I can go out and take my own bath." | |||
Addressing the audience: Lola is like that, I have to taste <dish> for her before she agrees to eat it. | |||
Lincoln: "Do you like looking at my privates?" | |||
Lana: "I like how you can aim as you pee!" | |||
</div> | |||
--[[User:Tod Naturlich|Tod Naturlich]] ([[User talk:Tod Naturlich|talk]]) 04:17, 21 September 2017 (CEST) | |||
Well, that is a pretty good improvement to what's there right now. Still needs a little something to make it fit the context a little better, but this is a FAR better starting point compared to what is there now. Thanks for the suggestion. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 06:47, 21 September 2017 (CEST) | |||
Latest revision as of 04:47, 21 September 2017
NOTE: I am really not satisfied with this one at all. I very well may be giving it a complete overhaul from scratch at some point. Jemini (talk) 02:28, 12 September 2017 (CEST)
Without knowing too much about the before and after of this scene, it's hard to give opinions, but what about something like this:
Lincoln: "Umm... well... Yeah! Yeah, I like looking at them, though. I don't really get to see what a girl looks like down there all that much since I'm a boy and all."
Lana: "Really? I have to look at Lola's whenever we take a bath."
Lincoln "You don't take baths."
Lana: "I DO too! Mud baths count!"
Lincoln: "And you see Lola naked how?"
Lana: "I have to make sure the water is good for her before I can go out and take my own bath."
Addressing the audience: Lola is like that, I have to taste <dish> for her before she agrees to eat it.
Lincoln: "Do you like looking at my privates?"
Lana: "I like how you can aim as you pee!"
--Tod Naturlich (talk) 04:17, 21 September 2017 (CEST)
Well, that is a pretty good improvement to what's there right now. Still needs a little something to make it fit the context a little better, but this is a FAR better starting point compared to what is there now. Thanks for the suggestion. Jemini (talk) 06:47, 21 September 2017 (CEST)