User talk:SA

Welcome to the site. I hope you enjoy your stay. If you have any questions, or need any help please feel free to contact me on my Talk Page. Feel free to remove this welcome notice if it bothers you. --Elerneron (talk) 22:52, 10 November 2015 (CET)

Thanks for your additions to 2 Taboo 4 You. You forgot to add the category to the pages, however. It is very important to add a category to every page that you create. You can do this by simply adding [[Category:Story Name]] at the bottom of the page, where Story Name is the name of the story you are working on. So for 2 Taboo 4 You it would be [[Category:2T4U]]. Please be sure to add the category to all future pages. Thanks --Elerneron (talk) 03:01, 11 November 2015 (CET)

I wanted to comment on your addition to 2T4U with Bandit going into Missy's room. I have been trying to keep the different legs of the story somewhat consistent with one another, and in Aaron's and Jack's legs of the story it is commented that Missy is wearing a green night-gown and most certainly DOES have panties on. Do you think we could do something to work that out here? (The easiest way would probably be to have him go into.... any other girl's room actually. Every other female in the house, Mel, Tiffany, and Ellen, are all frigging themselves. We might be able to come up with something more creative though if you really had your heart set on something with Missy.) Jemini (talk) 00:53, 19 November 2015 (CET)

It's Ok. All I am saying is not to have Missy naked. Keep it consistent with the other parts of the story and have her wearing a light green night-gown and panties. Also, please read the character profiles to see the personalities of each character in order to keep things consistent. (I will probably add the early-day activities of each character to the character profiles.) Jemini (talk) 02:18, 26 November 2015 (CET)

Well, it seems pretty weak. Focuses too much on rushing straight to the action with too little focus on Bandit and how he is experiencing the situation. For instance, normally a dog wouldn't be able to figure out how to get around panties like that, but now with his increased intelligence he can figure it out. Some mention about how that is going would improve the scene a great deal. At any rate, now that it has a more feasible direction I can probably make something of it. I might touch it up a bit a little later if you don't get to it first. (would be great to have you up your game though. I want to have a good story on every route, but writing it alone is more than a little daunting. So, I will probably be more likely to keep picking at you rather than edit it myself.) Jemini (talk) 10:39, 20 December 2015 (CET)

Well, I have a pretty good guide on what to pay attention to with writing back on the main site under writing discussion. https://allthefallen.ninja/index.php?/topic/223-writing-tips/ I noticed you also made a post in the search for CP entry about Jack already knowing about some program that allows you to view CP easily. Well, 1st off, you have to have an explanation of how Jack knows about this. 2nd, how does this program allow people to find something that is taken down regularly by the government? 3rd, why doesn't the government use this program to easily find all these CP sites and take them down? 4th, if this thing existed, don't you think the government would just use it as a honey trap to identify the consumers of this kind of material? When you start granting the premise and then asking these questions, it becomes incredibly obvious why something like that simply can't exist. Also, you know your readers are likely going to ask all of those same questions, and that break in immersion will ruin the story.

As for the bit with Bandit, I mentioned it before. You want to start including more details and putting us more inside of Bandit's mind. Your version of Bandit seems way too goal oriented. It would help the reader to feel it a bit more if he were more confused and trying to figure things out, try and think of the things that humans do that just wouldn't make sense to a dog and portray him trying to reason through it with his new-found intelligence. Jemini (talk) 00:01, 23 December 2015 (CET)