User talk:Jemini: Difference between revisions

From All The Fallen Stories
Jump to navigation Jump to search
← Older editNewer edit →
Telgar (talk | contribs)
contributor
2,415 edits
No edit summary
Telgar (talk | contribs)
contributor
2,415 edits
No edit summary
Line 517: Line 517:
Made some changes at the end of Maredith Martin's biography, that may effect the pages your writing with Helen Moon.
Made some changes at the end of Maredith Martin's biography, that may effect the pages your writing with Helen Moon.
[[User:Telgar|Telgar]] ([[User talk:Telgar|talk]]) 10:52, 7 March 2020 (PST)
[[User:Telgar|Telgar]] ([[User talk:Telgar|talk]]) 10:52, 7 March 2020 (PST)
Made another Change to Maredith, Added to her occupation, High Priestess of Helen Moon, which explains their relationship and why Maredith knows Helen's secrets.
[[User:Telgar|Telgar]] ([[User talk:Telgar|talk]]) 16:30, 9 March 2020 (PST)

Revision as of 23:30, 9 March 2020

Problems with the main site???

So, since I have opened this up to be a place to make requests to my stories, I am going to implement a system of placing all conversations with a specific person under the same heading with their name. I will request that you put up your material under your own heading witch can be done by placing two equals signs "==" to either side of your name witch you username after writing that in. If you forget to do so, it is Ok, I ought to be able to correct that myself. However, it will be helpful if you can either sign your name to your comments or put the heading in yourself.

Update to the policy on making requests

There is no actual rule restricting the number of requests you can make at any one time, but the priority with witch I will get to filling requests is the inverse of the number of requests being made by the same person. In other words, if you make less requests I will get to you sooner. I will recommend 3 as the go-to default, with 2, 3, and 4 being treated essentially the same if it is a one-odd thing, but it will affect the priority if you make a habit of always requesting 2 or 4 every round. If you make only 1 request, I will probably move you to the front of the line. If you make 5 or more, you will probably be back-burnered until I feel like processing you sometime a fair bit later.

Also, multiple people requesting the same option is another thing that raises priority.

Stories I will accept requests for

I am currently accepting requests for Hot Summer Job, witch was started by Villenia. It should be noted that Villenia is still the primary on this story, and I may very well reject requests for this story if I do not feel I can complete it to Villenia's standards.

I am also accepting requests for God's Compensation. This is a story I started myself. It is currently a closed story until it reaches the conclusion of the introductory portion of the story is reached. Despite being a chose-your-own-adventure format, this story has a semi chapter format where each chapter has different rules for contributing. The rules for the introductory chapter is that I am the only one allowed to write for it. (NOTE: I am currently placing requests for this story on a back-burner until I write up a lore section for the story. The lore section will be the primary focus with story requests being a lower priority.)

2T4U is the first story I started seriously writing for on this site, but I have suffered from a little bit of burn-out on that story. I have now recovered somewhat and will accept requests for it again, but they will be placed at a lower priority than requests for other stories.

I just recently opened up a new story I will accept requests for, Universal Acceptance. However, I will only accept requests for Jerry, the 12 year old male character.

I am currently obsessed with writing for Elerneron's new story Life Hacks. I will probably wind up spending too much energy writing for that story to get to any other requests, but might look back here if I get burned out. If you would like to make a request in life hacks, please follow Elerneron's request policy witch includes making the request on the page with the option you want. Requests for Life Hacks on this page will be ignored.

Elerneron

To make a category page into a subcategory, instead of giving it the story type as the category [[Category:Meta Stories]] use the category that you want it to be a subcategory of [[Category:God's Compensation]] --Elerneron (talk) 06:53, 10 April 2016 (CEST)

Okay, if you want to make a page part of more than one category just type in more than one category on that page. For instance if a page is in the story God's Compensation but also part of chapter one you would put something like this when you put the category on the page [[Category:God's Compensation]][[Category:God's Compensation/Chapter One]]. Now when you go to that page it will show two categories. Now for the category page for God's Compensation you have:


You can always check out how I made the subcategories for Generations Here is the Category Page Category:Generations If you go into one of the subcategories, you can see how I made them into subcategories. --Elerneron (talk) 10:56, 10 April 2016 (CEST)

A thought just occurred to me. With the abilities that Rose just gave Xander, it is entirely possible that he could affect the server he is on to do more than change things in the game. He could actually affect anything tied to that server, thereby affecting Loki's universe. He could boot every player, mod, and admin out of the server; then employ building security to protect the server itself, declaring his universe independent from the originating universe.

I've actually thought what might happen if something happened to the server, and see one of two possibilities: 1) The universe only exists because of the simulation, in which case his universe is destroyed, or 2) The simulation created the universe, but it will continue to exist even if the server is destroyed because it has already been created (insert quantum mechanical magical explanation). If the second possibility is the accurate one, the destruction of the server would promote the virtual reality into an actual reality. Food for thought. --Elerneron (talk) 23:02, 22 February 2017 (CET)

For math in Twine with Sugar Cube; I suggest starting with my explaination of Variables, Arrays and Objects on ATF which links to a page on Twine Expressions from [twinery.org]. You can use an expression anywhere you would use a variable. You need to do so inside a macro (<<set>> <<print>> <<if>> or <<for>> usually. Parentheses can be used to change the order of operations like normal mathematical expressions. You can also use any form of JavaScript expressions in place of TwineScript expressions. A Quick search gave me this page, that looks okay at a quick glance.

So you could have:

<<if $touch + (($trust - 31) / 10) gt 25>> ...Perform some function... <</if>>

to do as you described earlier . . . though those variables would be best served as objects of an array, like so:

<<if $kid[$currentKid].touch + (($kid[$currentKid].trust - 31) / 10) gt 25>> ...Perform some function... <</if>>


Hope that helps.

Colors are basic CSS colors (Named Colors, Hexadecimal, RGB, RGBA, HSL, and HSLA) Here are some resources: Legal Color Arguments Named Colors --Elerneron (talk) 14:50, 19 February 2019 (CET)

While cleaning up the site, I came across some Orphaned Pages. These may be a result of me cleaning up double redirects, or something else, but these pages have nothing linking to them. As the original Author I thought I would point them out to you so you could either try to fix the link that is supposed to lead to them, or blank them to indicate that I am to delete them. The pages are:

--Elerneron (talk) 00:32, 30 December 2019 (UTC)

I didn't clear the recent changes list. I deleted 215 pages all of which count toward the number of changes one chooses to see on the page. Click on a higher number of changes and you'll see more of the recent changes. Sorry about that, I left off maintenance for too long, and Santa likes moving pages a lot, creating a tremendous number of redirects. --Elerneron (talk) 12:54, 30 December 2019 (UTC)


Did the number go up on the deletion long in proportion to the number of entries that you felt were missing . . . also remember that the number of edits on each page all count toward the total (Making the page longer with a lot of diverse pages with few edits and smaller with a lot of edits in a few pages). If you expand each of the collapsed elements, I am sure that you will find that the system is showing them all to you, I just overwhelmed the system with a massive number of changes in a short period (the clean-up deletions to be precise). --Elerneron (talk) 13:54, 30 December 2019 (UTC)

I will look into the image issue when I get some more time. In the meantime, if you pm me the image on the main site, I will take a look at it, and find what the problem is, or upload it myself if that will help matters. Sorry I don't have much time the next couple of days. --Elerneron (talk) 16:00, 22 January 2020 (CET)


The image problem is happening for me too. I passed the issue on to Iratu. Hopefully he just needs to tweak some settings that have been messed up by the recent upgrade. It's really beyond me. --Elerneron (talk) 17:08, 23 January 2020 (CET)

I don't mean to be pushy if you just haven't replied yet, but did you see my new response on the page Talk:PIP/Shunned/Additional 4th wall info?

Crimsonlion

COMPLETED

  • I really like the work you've done for Hot Summer Job. Could you continue with Bree and give her what she wants? Standing and on the couch are both good, but I'd also like to go up into her room and take her on her bed. Thanks!
https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Keep_playing_ignorant,_you_want_to_actually_hear_her_say_it (Hot Summer Job/Take Bree to the couch)

Gisèle de Rais

Alexander's lack of interest in that scene is not so much an important character point as it is an excuse for me to diverge the characters from each other a little bit. I will probably end up doing some of the same scenes with Alexander as I have set up for Alexis in that situation, just at a different stage.

I will say that Alexander/Alexis do not have the same files on their devices. The file that Lacey is listening to at the moment is a different one in Alexander's branch. The explosion is important, though probably not for any reason anybody could have guessed at this point.

Also, Alexander's alone time is a more important point than it seems, and points like it will be found throughout the story on both sides. I don't care if that makes the story more widespread and varied than I have any right to make it when combined with the main plot threads, I have ideas and I'd like to explore them. This will all make more sense to you once I've actually implemented one of those branches.

Feel free to send me your theories, however. You may trick me into revealing more than I plan to. That being said, this story may progress much more slowly than I would prefer due to a lot of real life factors, so I apologize in advance for any lingering suspense that may cause. Gisèle de Rais (talk) 07:28, 5 June 2016 (CEST)

Privitude

In order of preference:

I honestly don't even know what happened with that last change I made. I didn't delete *any* of that stuff. Didn't *touch* it. I adjusted my request, and crazy fuckery ensued. Sorry.

Kitkatevermore

-- Yeah, I completely agree. Knowing that people read your work and anticipate for you to write content that they'll love is one of the best motivators I know. When I write something just for me, I don't see a reason of finishing it before a certain point in time, but when someone else wants me to write something because they love the story and want to see what else I'll do with it, I can't help but want to write more than ever -- Kitkatevermore (talk) 00:30, 25 October 2016 (CEST)

-- I've been meaning to get to that part, but I can't decide what to write first. I can assure you, that there's going to be a lot of pages for the twins, though -- Kitkatevermore (talk) 05:58, 26 October 2016 (CEST)

-- Oh wow, I swear I knew that before but I guess being off the site for so long I ended up forgetting how it worked. Thank you so much for reminding me so I could fix it Kitkatevermore (talk) 02:49, 9 April 2017 (CEST)

ArthurKung

I'm glad you like my writing, Jemini. I'm a fan of your stuff as well, and really appreciate the compliment. If there's any page I've written in which you feel like there could be room for a loli route - feel free to add an option to get to that kind of path.

And yes, by focusing on Fiona's character in my particular story arch, I might end up setting the pace for her personality. You've already included her in the Samantha route, and her personality definitely shines through in your descriptions. I assume you already have a clear idea of how you imagine her to be like; and I'd hate to write her in a way that contradicts those ideas.

I personally want to portray her as someone weird, unpredictable and borderline unlikeable. My idea is that she's this terribly superficial gossip that constantly talks shit about people behind their backs to make herself seem like a more upstanding person - when in fact she's incredibly perverse and sexually messed up. The idea of her imagining Samantha to be a shameless slut is therefore very plausible. --ArthurKung (talk) 02:17, 3 January 2017 (CET)


I can get behind that enchantment; it sounds like it could be pretty fun to write out. However, I personally picture infinite semen and sexual exhaustion as two different things. When I wrote that Jack was feeling "completely drained", I was more referring to his physical/mental energy as opposed to the contents of his ballsack. Re-reading it, I don't think I really managed to convey what I wanted to.

I like your idea of Maria having taken an interest in the Gundersons. I've been toying with similar ideas. After having read up on the curse, I took some creative liberties writing up Fiona's background in my latest post (https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=2T4U/Jack/Afternoon/Fiona%27s/Ask_Fiona_about_herself). My idea is to have Fiona - despite her perverse nature - actually be a virgin; which would at some point attract Maria's immediate attention, since she would also become a key to ending the curse. My idea is that the spirit will contact Jack and try to strike a deal with him at some point; giving him the option of either taking Fiona's virginity to end Maria's spell, or kill Fiona and become the ghost's favored or something. It's just a vague concept so far, and would doubtlessly make for a pretty linear story path (in that it gives the player an option to destroy the curse and create some kind of "Happy Ending"-deal).

By the way, feel free to claim the "Refuse to spend the night at Fiona's"- path if you want to bring Samantha into it all. I'm probably going to continue with the route I've chosen. --ArthurKung (talk) 14:52, 5 January 2017 (CET)


Wrongness

Hey, just wanna thank you for your kind words, and that I'd be happy to take any tips you got any tips for me, that would help me a lot. :) Wrongness (talk) 12:18, 20 April 2017 (CET)

Thank you for your advices. As I take another look at my chapters, I can definitely see how I can improve them. I'll try to follow your tips over my next chapters Wrongness (talk) 15:16, 20 May 2017 (CEST)

Yes, it makes sense. I'll need to learn lots of things, since I chose such a hard scenario for my story ( It's not easy to write a story about kidnapping lol)

From now on I'll try to gather as much information as I can. Wrongness (talk) 14:29, 22 May 2017 (UTC)


Foalpoots

Hey, would you consider taking requests for Invasion! ?

If so: https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Invasion!/Markovik (James "Jimmy" Haas)

If not, just disregard it

It would be nice to have a little friendly competition though --Foalpoots (talk) 17:18, 14 June 2017 (UTC)


Fixed the requests in WBWP --Foalpoots (talk) 22:38, 24 June 2017 (UTC)


Can you please stop trying to turn my completely gay species straight? i haven't finished with the cultural aspects, so please don't impose your worldview on my creation.--Foalpoots (talk) 22:38, 24 June 2017 (UTC)


Its a goddamn WIP in progress, i just don't have enough energy (or spoons) and attention span to finish it in one setting. all this destructive critisism is really draining even more spoons and makes me sorta want to drop the whole project. so sit back, and don't bother me until i have atleast filled out the profile completely --Foalpoots (talk) 21:39, 25 June 2017 (UTC)


on the note of "hard sci-fi" and "thats just how sci-fi works": sci-fi works however you want it to work! "I have Material abc that has the properties xyz, so i don't need to care about realworld limitation 123" i'm following prior simple statement and it works great. --Foalpoots (talk) 21:44, 25 June 2017 (UTC)

Hey, can you get Elerneron to answer my questions on his page ? Because i can't continue to write for Invasion until these questions are answered --Foalpoots (talk) 23:10, 1 August 2017 (UTC)


NOW you can comment on my species --Foalpoots (talk) 20:45, 8 August 2017 (UTC)

Twinklestar

New here. Looking to add where I can. I am loving the format and such of the place. Not sure if anyone is active on this site though.

Twinklestar


There is still a lot I don't understand but I am hoping to learn as I go. Most pressing is what is I add to story that someone ask not... but hasn't posted in 3 years? Are Meta stories, stories from a different site.. and what is a "port" and how could I help? Does this have a forum?

I would love to collaborate with someone. Adding a branch or two, with an idea from what they intended. I also hope to add my story at some point and have people add too it. see what they come up with as well. so I am adding where I can for now. I will further this when I get some time. but I don't want to lose connect.

Twinklestar

I would love!!!! to work on a story. I am off to work, let me know where to go to start the discussion about what you want to write about theme, topic limits (if any.. lol) I will be watching. and I would like to keep it as "fun" as possible. I did add to some already. It's rough and it needs editing but Please let me know.

Twinklestar

I have to say... It is embarrassing, english is my first language but I have always issues with grammar and word flow. My brain is too fast for my fingers and when i re read it ... My brian fills in the right information. *sigh*

I have been trying to do better but this ... Topic has got me excited. Therefore I will be more cautious. I like to deal with lesbian and male to female gender switch.. And age switch.. As males are usually the bad guys in my stories. (i am really REALLY embarrassed about the word flow) my idea would be to have a story were you start out as a jerky jerk big man on campus guy who abuses woman and uses them. He is transformed into a 9 year old in an already existing life... ( i.e. he doesn't have to walk around proving he is the girl that poofed out of nowhere.) the reader can be evil and destroy that life...or be awesome and live a dream life...??? Good idea??good bones???

Twinklestar

Sigh... I feel like I have stepped into mouse traps.

Twinklestar (talk) 01:19, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

"We" really have all the time in the world. I will continue to hack at the one part of the story i started... And when I get to join the "site" we can work out the story.

I have always envisioned a scene or story were the 10 year old girl is the sexual aggressor and everyone becomes pawns... Secducing mother teachers father and psych all by playing the little girl part.

Like she is sitting at the psychologist office spreading her legs to a woman doctor telling her fantasies of eating her mom out and how that would bring stability in her life... Stuff like that...

In the end...everyone is happy. Its a good thing...because everyine is denying what they REALLY want..expect the girl..she see it all and helps bring it about.

The bad part would be manipulation Like he considers himself like a "master" and preys on people. Drunk rape would be the worst.

Twinklestar (talk) 02:01, 15 July 2017 (UTC)


I will check it out when i can. :)

Twinklestar (talk) 02:43, 15 July 2017 (UTC)


  • stunned silence* I am not worthy sir...

Twinklestar (talk) 03:47, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

As long as you think I have something... Like some talent or some skills.

Twinklestar (talk) 04:06, 15 July 2017 (UTC)


I have a(n) ----- idea about how he got in the situation. "He" died and so did "she"... He got a second chance as her?

Twinklestar (talk) 04:11, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

I added myself to the official site and requested you as a friend "BFF". I also have started a thread in the writers discussion...sub forum. So when i have access (apparently its time based? To make sure we are not spammers and stupid people. ) but i am cool. I have read what you wrote so far all good. !!! Thank you. I will write soon ...

Twinklestar (talk) 14:40, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

Tod Natürlich

Hello, I just read your comment on how you receive almost no feedback for all you write on this site, and realized I'm guilty of that. I must confess I find it hard to give feedback on the format this site has; I don't know where to put the feedback, how to limit the feedback to a storyline when they diverge so much and how to order the ideas in my head to convey them when after reading all the storylines they begin to mix in my mind. I'll probably experiment with leaving some comments on the talk page of some story posts, to see how that feels, but for now I have to assure you that I've read at least all that's posted in "Hot Summer Job" and "Life Hacks".

As I said to you on the other forum, your productivity and quality are daunting, and I'm very thankful that you are willing to share with us your creativity and your hard work. I would like to be able to offer more, but for now all I have is my gratitude, so I will try to express it more often, you certainly deserve it. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 22:35, 14 July 2017 (UTC)

I hope you recover soon, and feel free to use my story as an outlet until you feel better. I hope it's nothing serious. Even if you say it's not up to your usual standards, your writing is still better than average, and we can always edit it further down the road. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 20:54, 25 September 2017 (CEST)

Thanks for the explanation on the hair colors, it really does help me learn and I really appreciate you going out of your way to educate me. Thanks a lot. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 06:37, 2 October 2017 (CEST)

Thanks for your continued interest in the story, I'm really honored you've decided to pay so much attention to it. I'm gonna share with you the only two paths I have planned for the future of the story, since I do want to write those, and after seeing you append some of the rules I was afraid you would snatch them from me, so I ask you that you let me write this:

First is the story of Perl, how she is slowly corrupted by the exposure to sex and begins to seek the thrills that it brings her, how she tries to abuse the system, getting her "fix" of light punishments while being protected from the harsher ones by her status in school until this is discovered and she's forced to forfeit her virginity and womb to either John or her family. And how at the end she finds in her younger brother a lover that she can spend her life with.

The other is the story of Suzy and Ginny, where the younger, Ginny, starts to get in more and more trouble, but instead of being corrected, the punishments appear to drive her further into mischief. Suzy, unlike that, after being punished on the first week, completely straightens her ways and keeps out of trouble. John then decides the only way to "save" Ginny from herself is to displace the punishment to her sister, since it's clear the two are very close, and poor Suzy starts being the subject of punishments whenever her sister does something (pretty much like you wrote in the guidelines). I still don't have the ending for this path in firm, but I do want to write it myself.

Other than that I have no well defined plans for anyone, and in fact I love that you took a path that I have never imagined, since I want to force myself to write in a more dynamic way. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 23:22, 3 October 2017 (CEST)

I'm a fan of hard science fiction (also a scientist, but that is irrelevant here), and what I love more about a good science fiction story is that it limits it's reality breaking to a very few and well contained points, so that as long as the reader accept those, the rest of the story can be completely grounded in reality. (With Isaac Asimov, for example, the only inaccuracy in lots of his stories was the existence of the positron brain).

I try (and probably fail miserably) at imitating that whenever I write fiction. I try to limit the incredible premises as much as possible, so the reader only have to accept a few clearly fake facts, and try to build the rest on reality. In the case of this story, the one big lie is that there could be a town in a civilized country so backwards as to come up with something as ridiculous as a punishing children with sex. I try to make the rest of the characters as real as possible inside that situation. Sure, there are some pedophiles among the population, sure, some children experiment earlier than others, but in general the people in town are not expecting to have sex with children, and the children don't even consider sex in their daily lives.

One of the things I've really liked of the way you have made the story advance is that you also try to reflect the reality of the characters in that world, never going overboard with the sex , and keeping the settings as real as an erotic story of this characteristics would allow. So, once again, thank you for helping in bringing my fantasies to life. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 09:46, 4 October 2017 (CEST)

I haven't read the light novels, but I've watched the anime, which if I remember was only the first light novel. The character of John has changed quite a bit since I first envision him for the story, all the work you've put on him has been a great factor for the changes. He was a much more naive and impulse driven character, with less foresight and his hatred towards town was more on a unconscious level. Still, I've come to really appreciate his new persona, he's much more likeable and it gives him much more room to grow, so I thank you for writing him that way.

I also really like the idea of him having a long term romantic relationship with Dyla. It's been established that even though he really loves his sister and is willing to stay by her side, he's no longer sexually attracted to her. I want that to be a source of conflict in their relationship in the future, and Dyla can play a part there as well.

As for Ginny's initial punishment, go right ahead and give it to her, neither she nor her sister will be back for more this week, so I'll start writing the rest of their story once we move to the next section. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 22:12, 4 October 2017 (CEST)

if you haven't written the part where Ginny is punished, you might consider exchanging Ginny for Debra Lefort, they are classmates, and I don't think we need to make too many changes (if any) to the already written parts. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 23:09, 5 October 2017 (CEST)

I'll be honest that I don't know the details of the manufacturing of big solar arrays, but I trust you if you say it's an industry which would employ mainly males, be still strong enough to provide for the small town, and be in decadence. The only limitation you put there that I don't feel needs to be is the legality of the brothel. While we've established that it exists and everyone knows it exists, that doesn't mean it's a legal whorehouse. It can be disguised as a massage parlor, a men's club, or even a motel. I mean, I've lived in several cities were prostitution is outlawed, and there are whole arrays of whorehouses that promote their services without shame, just putting things like massage or men's club, with big billboards on the freeways with almost-pornographic images.

On the overlord note, you have me intrigued by the novels. I really loved Tolkien as a kid (although my mom shared your opinion about his excessive descriptive nature, she would jump ahead several pages to try and find the action), so I'm curious about reading them. I'll be searching for them online, and hopefully will be able to share my opinion with you in the not-too-distant future (I would also love to be able to read Japanese, since I've always feel it's better to read something in it's original, but well...). --Tod Naturlich (talk) 06:05, 7 October 2017 (CEST)

I'm glad you continue to have interest on the story. I got a bit burned out after finishing the characters, but soon will start posting the start of Perl's acr. I'm happy you have taken such interest in Beatriz and his daughters, since I think you are much better than me at telling that part of the story. There are two things I've noticed you have repeated several times that I want to address. One is that his last name is "Gardner", and you have called him "Gardiner" several times. The other is that Amelie and Eveline are 9, they will be 10 in November (since this is the first week of school, we're on September). I think all the times you've said their 10 is from his perspective, so it can be that he's still unsure of their ages.

Back to what has trapped most of my free time this last few days, I managed to get translations for Volumes 1 through 10 of Overlord. The translation is clearly a fan translation and not a very high quality one, but at least I can get the the story. I just finished the first volume, and I'm really liking all the extra details that didn't made it to the anime, it's really interesting to read all the inner thoughts and details about the details of the world that in the anime get reduced to a simple gesture. I will continue reading, hoping the translation of the next volumes improves in quality.

Thinking about what you said about a character that does things on a whim and wind up having incredible results without intention, I was reminded of Tolkien's tale "Farmer Giles of Ham". It's a very short story in which the main character (a simple farmer) though a lot of very comical events becomes king of a small country. If you haven't read it I thoroughly recommend it. If you want you can read it (without a proper formatting) here: hxxp://ae-lib.org.ua/texts-c/tolkien__farmer_giles_of_ham__en.htm --Tod Naturlich (talk) 23:46, 10 October 2017 (CEST)

I was checking the formatting on some of the story, and I noticed that you almost always write "in-tact", which sounded weird to me, since in Spanish that is a single word. I looked it up, and it appears it's also a single word in English, I found this about it: hxxps://brians.wsu.edu/2016/05/24/in-tact/, I hope this helps you. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 03:45, 29 October 2017 (CET)

Once more, thanks for the corrections to my mistakes. I noticed I have a problem with two words that are very similar, but apparently have different meaning, and I was hoping you could shed some light into when to use which. I'm referring to "especial" and "special" and also their adverb forms: "especially" and "specially". I'm guessing the distinction between them might be similar to the distinction between "story" and "history", (which in spanish are one and the same), but in english one is true and the other invented. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 01:05, 4 December 2017 (CET)

Thanks for the explanation. As I feared, both definitions of especial and special share a single word in Spanish, which made it very hard for me to decide which to use, since for me they are one and the same. One-to-many mappings are always complicated, but with your help I hope I'll stop misusing them so much. One simplifications I'm probably going to take for the sake of simplicity is when in doubt prefer special to especial, since from your explanation it seems the former one is much more common. Once more, thanks for helping me with this. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 06:33, 4 December 2017 (CET)

I'm about to tackle Notsooldpervert's request, but before that I would like to streamline all the paths that derive from the students getting caught smoking. Since you wrote most of that path, I want to ask you permission to do this, since I will change the order of some events and several options.

The final structure I envision is as follows (I've marked the renames of the pages already written, as well as named the pages not yet written that I feel would be the backbone of the path): 

Cutting Class                   <= Cutting Class
|-- Caught                      <= Remember
|   |-- Recording (4)
|   |-- Escaped (5)
|   |-- Tihana                  <= Girl Done, Names and permissions
|   |   |-- 4 times (2)
|   |   |-- 4 days (2)
|   |   |-- Diaper whore (2)
|   |   |-- Choice (2)
|   |   |-- impregnate (2)
|   |-- August (1)
|   |   |-- Chastity (3)
|   |   |-- Rape (3)
|   |   |-- Expulsion (3)
|   |   |-- All (3)
|   |-- Matt
|   |   |-- Chastity (3)
|   |   |-- Rape (3)
|   |-- Liliana
|   |   |-- Risk (3)
|   |   |-- Impregnate (3)
|   |-- Matt and Liliana (1)
|       |-- Impregnation Risk       <= Special Consideration
|       |-- Impregnation Chastity   <= Headmaster
|           `-- Confront them       <= Both
|               `-- Spanking        <= Spanking
|-- Not Caught (6)
    |-- All (6)
    |-- Tihana (6)
    |-- August (6)
    |-- Matt (6)
    |-- Liliana (6)

(1) - Recap of what happened when they were caught and punished in situ.
(2) - Chosen punishment for Tihana, when she wasn't punished in situ.
(3) - Individual punishments, when alone in the office.
(4) - None caught directly, but recording made, so identified.
(5) - None caught, no evidence. Will proceed as if Not Caught
(6) - Never found in the storeroom, so the only fault is missing class.

If you don't agree with some of this changes, please let me know so we can reach an agreement. I feel the current structure is too wild to be manageable and eventually fill in all the missing parts. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 03:20, 14 December 2017 (CET)

Thanks. The story will be there, waiting for you whenever you decide to contribute for it once more. I'll focus on fulfilling requests and making it so that each path on the first week has at least one complete branch, and then will move on to the next time section, so there will be a lot of open branches for anyone that wants to participate. Also, even if you can't focus on writing, I would love to know you're reading, so feel free to place a request yourself (although I don't recall ever seeing a request you made in any story, so I won't force you). --Tod Naturlich (talk) 05:38, 14 December 2017 (CET)

Hello, I wanted to explain my reasoning for changing "Mathew Marlow" to "Master Marlow" in the punishment letters, and get feedback from you to decide whether or not to use it in the future. it all began when I saw you using the honorific "Ms." when referring to the female staff. I had never seen that, I only knew of "Mr." and "Mrs.", so I did a bit of research. I found out that "Ms." was a more recent honorific for females, that did not qualify them respect to their marital status, since the old "Mrs." and "Miss" were used to qualify between married and unmarried females. It struck me that in such a backwards community as in the story, where they do put such emphasis on traditional values and marriage, they would continue to use those forms, so I've been changing instances of "Ms." to either "Mrs." or "Miss" whenever I found them. This worked great for females, but for young males there was a problem. Adults get the normal "Mr." without problems, and in casual conversation young males are just addressed by name, without any honorific, but when writing the official punishment letters, I thought the character would want to make them sound as official as possible, and thus would want to include honorifics for both males and females. A bit more research told me that there was indeed an equivalent honorific for young males: "Master", though it was an ancient tradition almost completely unused in current times. So I thought that perhaps in a town that's clinging to the traditions they would still used it. Or at least that John (who was immersed in that culture for almost 20 years), would think it was the correct way to address a young male student in an official document.

I made the changes with only that information at hand. I do know that "Master" also has the meaning of someone who owns slaves, or someone who gives orders, and perhaps those are more used and it feels weird to read it when addressing someone how's about to be punished, but I thought that would only enhance the feeling of wrongness that the town gives their own citizens. Please tell me if my assumptions were wrong, so I can revert those changes and stop trying to be artsy in a language I don't know enough about. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 22:21, 15 December 2017 (CET)

I must admit I'm a bit disappointed, I actually liked how the letters looked with the "Master" title in there, but if it will cause more confusion, then I have no option but to remove them. I think I used them in another two or three pages, it shouldn't take me too long to find them and revert them. I do hope my usage of "Mrs." and "Miss" instead of "Ms." does work, but if not, I'll change those back also. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 01:24, 17 December 2017 (CET)

I think all you need to do to make the CSS work is put a link to it on the page. I usually put it near the end, just above the categories, like this: 

{{#css:Tod_Naturlich/story_text.css}}

As you well put it, you've written probably more than half of the story so far. So even if I started it, I think you've earn the right to call it as much your own as mine. So, if you want it to continue for a couple in-story years before everything comes crashing down, I won't stop you. I think one of the reasons I originally planned it to be only one year long was because I doubted my capacity to add content spanning longer than that. But if you have the will, I have no objections.

I originally had a lot of reasons to justify the story ending in one year:

  • Not everyone in town is a sheep, and after a year and having their children suffer sexual abuse, at least some will wake up and take action. Originally I had envision the Nurse and Beatriz, the main character's sister. With all the contributions you've made, I added to the list the woman in the brothel. In the character sheets I had also put on a few families that would clearly not approve of the program but for some reason or another allow it to go on before speaking up.
    • One of the male teachers is said to be very laid back and take the easy way out until his wife puts him to work, and she was afraid of the program.
    • The recent story I made for the Mayor and his wife would put her in a position of power, and with a disposition to help bring down the whole system.
  • The main character is a pedophile, not an abuser. But in the first year he's been pushed to abuse the children. At some point he would figure out he's becoming just as evil as the town he hates so much, and decided he has to stop it all before he can no longer look at himself in the mirror.
    • Again, originally this was going to happen with Beatriz and their twins, where his sister begged him not to harm them as he had all the other children. With your contributions, Diya also can help with that.
  • Even if the Nurse report is not finished, coming to a place to find lots of little girls (some as young as 4) sprouting big bellies would have an immediate effect in an outside visitor. On the other hand, coming to a place to find a lot of babies is less distressing, since you can't know the babies come from abused little girls.

Now, I realize all of this can happen at the end of one year, or two, or three, or more. So I really don't mind moving the end of the story further back in time to allow more development of intermediate stories. You mention the reaction of the girls to becoming mothers. And that for me would be hard to write, since it's either they get help to care for the child or they put up and do it the best they can, or the child dies. But I'm sure a better author (read, you) can come up with very interesting plots for that.

The way I organized the story means that a reader can skip a lot of content and jump back and forth in the timelines to see everything that happens. The story is purposely made non-linear. So even if the story last a few more years I would like to add the section of the end, so I can start planning some of the scenes that would mean the end of that town, even if there are still a few years of content to be written in the interlude. Do you think that can work? All we would need to do is get to an agreement about what the state of the people most important to town and to the main character is by the time the story ends. I wait to hear your thought on this.

On a separate note, I was thinking of moving the placeholder scene of the main character marrying Tihana away from the first week and into the first Quarter. Even shotgun weddings need some time to prepare. Do you have any objections to this?

--Tod Naturlich (talk) 16:39, 22 September 2019 (UTC)

One thing I certainly don't want is to stifle your creativity, especially since I'm still not sure I will be able to return to a writing schedule as I would like, so while I would love to dedicate time to progress the story further, I most likely will end up away from the site for long periods of time over the next months. I completely agree there are lots of things to develop before being able to have even a glimpse the ending. The six storylines you mention are the bare minimum, as I'm sure more important elements will come up as the story grows, that will have an effect on how the ending turns out.

The only reason I put a limit of one year at the beginning and now I suggested having a plan for the eventual end of the story, is that in order for me not to feel overwhelmed by the project, I have to be able to see it's boundaries. If the story is left completely open, where it could go on forever and ever, branching infinitely, it would make it very hard for me to write on it. That was the main reason I implemented the format where all branches eventually return to a node, so I could be certain no branch would grow out of control.

So, don't feel constrained by the time of the story. If it needs to extend to several in-story years before it can reach a satisfying conclusion, make it so. And if it takes us real-wold years to reach that point, I have no objection. Work on whatever part you feel like working, be that a story that would have an effect on the big story or just a fun little side trip that will have no relevance. My psyche just need the assurance that the project is finite in order to work on it.

--Tod Naturlich (talk) 19:55, 22 September 2019 (UTC)

Telgar

Yeah, everything I pulled was from the parts I added, all my writing, but either old, rushed or extremely limited in scope. Telgar (talk) 03:29, 14 December 2017 (PST)

So I stopped with my writing of the Kellie McGregor path, because I realized, after I read Mr. Franklin's Bio, that the plans I had for him and them obviously did not jive with what you were building in your bio. I had planned for Julie to eventually beg John to enslave her, Kellie and Sam to get them away form Mr. Franklin and Mr. Bens who were abusive. Julie felt it was simply exchanging one sexual servitude, with her husband and brother, for another, that would be more pleasant for her and her daughters. However I notice that Mr. Franklin is actually showing remorse for his actions, and that might not be along the path you envisioned...Telgar (talk) 21:29, 28 December 2017 (PST)

I do like where your taking the Franklin line and look forward to reading your descriptions of his taking of the two young girls. Though, I'm a little sad for the girls, you left their punishment end up to their mother. Considering she seriously dislikes almost hates her daughters, she just might not ever release them from their punishment or would even seek ways to get them turned into John's sexual slaves and out of her hair. If anything to hurt her husband.Telgar (talk) 21:29, 28 December 2017 (PST)

One more thing to consider with the Infinite Diaper punishment or any other punishment that could result in an infatuate sex/pregnancy loop. Under the guidelines of the New Rules, the child is still legally a child until the punishment ends. I don't see Ms. Franklin actually allowing it to be infinite, as her and her husband would legally and morally be responsible for each and every baby produced, but I do see her letting it last as long as she can, or until it starts to effect her. She is VERY selfish that way and really could care less about the best interests of her children.Telgar (talk) 1450, 29 December 2017 (PST)

Yeah, even though I have a degree, sadly grammar is not my strong point and type oh's are quite common. One of the reasons I edit my work four plus times, and I still miss a lot. Please do feel free to correct any type Oh's that you find, it would be greatly appreciated. Telgar (talk) 2236, 30 December 2017 (PST)


Playb0y

Honestly I use an ad blocker to remove the character sprites from the page. ^^; I like to envision everything in my head so the character sprites threw me off a bit. My writing skills are alright, though I've never written anything publicly before. I can do the image searches if you'd like, I'm pretty good with googling and tech based stuff, I can also edit images to an extent, though if you ever start a private Patreon (without stating what you're making of course cus I think this sort of thing is against the TOS) I would definitely pitch in. lol Playb0y (talk) 10:31, 30 October 2018 (EST)

There you are sir! $5 every month. Have some food on me. Out of curiosity how are things going with Life Hacks? I would love to start seeing some of the earlier branches expanded upon. =3 Playb0y (talk) 23:43, 30 October 2018 (EST)

Finally have enough funds to start donating to your patreon again! Had to cut off a lot of spending as I was between jobs. Hope you keep up the good work! Playb0y (talk) 04:58, 2 June 2019 (EST)

MrPib

I don't have access to my pc, or a stable internet connection at the moment, so me adding/editing characters will be a tad slow. I did find it easier on my bandwidth to "borrow" images from Life Hacks, Profiles In Power and several other of Elerneron's stories instead of uploading duplicate images.

What'd you think of the bio I did for the police officer that shows up during the "strange letter" arc? I know you're probably going to have to rewrite it anyways --MrPib (talk) 04:42, 15 November 2019 (UTC)

Alright, i may have gone a little overboard. XD btw, the image is a human version of Judy Hopps, from Zootopia. I was also too lazy to make a new family name, and a completely new character. So far, we're missing:

  • The prostitutes
  • The "factory worker" that's screwing the Mayor's wife
  • Chief of police/fire (small town, can handle both)
  • Extending families beyond the school (Mayor's little brothers/sisters?)

--MrPib (talk) 06:50, 15 November 2019 (UTC)

What do you think of Shantae's biological mother? Feel free to tweak some things, but I'd prefer it if you kept her feelings towards Child Abuse and Shantae.

I also added images for the 2 youngest Easterbrook children (twins Cherry and Carla) --MrPib (talk) 02:24, 16 November 2019 (UTC)

It's alright, I was aiming towards something like "she ran away from home... She hates child abuse... She doesn't want Shantae (orally and anally) raped" as hints towards her upbringing by abusive parents. I actually wrote that part thinking of the Franklin girls and their whole situation. The last part about killing someone, was meant to display even further her hatred towards Child abuse, while also indicating that she is hardly ever seen in a state other than happiness.

I may suck at writing erotic stuff (or writing in general), but if I'm given enough time, I can think up some pretty extensive bio's. --MrPib (talk) 03:57, 16 November 2019 (UTC)

Was it ok for me to add the last bit to Aisha's Bio, or is it unwise to have attitude changes in the bio? --MrPib (talk) 04:41, 16 November 2019 (UTC)

I've added pictures for the Easterbrooks 3yo twins, whenever you want to write up their bio's. I've also added what I think will be the last paragraph for Aisha's Bio. --MrPib (talk) 20:54, 16 November 2019 (UTC)

I think I've gotten the bio for Sonia Guerra fleshed out enough. (Added a part where she "helps" another student do their homework. This would warrant a punishment if she's caught.)

Also, would Gilma Banko intentionally get into trouble just so she could one up her sister and say that she (gilma) got to experience sex before she (Candy) did?

Another thing, I was originally just adding the Zodiac sign as a way to say which part of the month they were born in. Turns out I had written Sonia's bio exactly how her sign should be without realizing (she was originally going to be an Aries, but I had written her bio as a Taurus)

Edit: because of Sonia's IEP, I think having Doc Hartnell red it over and giving her doctor's opinion would be the right way to handle things with her --MrPib (talk) 07:07, 25 November 2019 (UTC)

Hey Jem, i sent you a PM on rhe forum with images for 3 more students --MrPib (talk) 05:23, 6 December 2019 (UTC)

Jem, I'm sending you a sample completed IEP form on the main site so you can get the gist of it written. (Does parent need an interpreter? Yes X No___) --MrPib (talk) 20:37, 18 December 2019 (UTC)

Wsintai

Hey! I just wanted to say that I'm a huge fan of your work! I don't expect to make too many requests, since NotSoOldPervert seems to have fairly similar tastes as me, but I just wanted to show some appreciation and let you know that people are reading and enjoying your stories.


Grinsekats

Thank you for your comments on my questions, they are very useful. --Grinsekats (talk) 21:17, 19 May 2019 (CEST)

Imperial

Hello there, I've just made a suggestion that I hope would help with user retention and activity but due to its location I'm not sure enough users will see it to give a feedback.

It'd be great if you could give it at least a cursory glance. If the idea sounds stupid feel free to say so, I'm hoping we can brainstorm something better out of what I wrote. Thanks.

Suggestion: Common Areas

-- Imperial (talk) 06:25, 11 June 2019 (CEST)

Hey did you see the addition I made in the rules about having the Moon family somehow react to the sexual escapades of the MC, felt it would make sense, considering they could feel his actions with any given girl. Also a bit curious on your thoughts about the Lore. Telgar (talk) 04:35, 5 March 2020 (PST)

Done, akso removed Soft Rape, Rape Play and Soft BDSM from discouraged as the nature of the overarching story has changed since those rules were written. Telgar (talk) 21:45, 6 March 2020 (PST)

Made a slight caveat to the definition of soft rape and rape play. Hard rape that doesn't use physical violence can become soft or rape play if something is used to change the victims view on it after the fact. Like the rape fantasy Land hack in Life Hack, making the girls enjoy it after it was done. I might not like the content but it would be acceptable under that context. Telgar (talk) 22:14, 6 March 2020 (PST)

The Moons would not alter any rapes after the fact by the MC, unless they were a participant. They would severally punish the MC for the act unless "He" found a way to alter them after the fact. If a second hard rape were to occure after the MC was punished for the first one, the story reaches a bad end.

The Moons are not about saving the MC or covering up his actions, thats mom's job, they are more if a plot driven moral compass that says, yes or no this type of sex is or isn't acceptable. Especially considering all the sexual stuff that was once perfectly fine and would be seen as fine by such beings, that modern society or religion says is not Telgar (talk) 22:35, 6 March 2020 (PST)

Something else I just thought if that I wanted to share with you before I go-to sleep, that I plan on using in my next Dannie instalment. The Headmistress has access to all the girls medical records which includes nude images of the girls, with close ups if their chests, pussy and ass, both normal and spread cheeks to expose their rosebud. They are in the files at the request of the school pediatrician, Mom didn't think anything about it, as they were done when she was a student as well, under the previous pediatrician. But now under new sexual context she has her suspicions, she really doesn't care but she is curious. The main point of this is once Jack picks a girl or has one picked for him, she can use the pics to help him decide what sexual acts he wants to try first. I'm planning on him getting aroused by Dannie's spread cheeks picture and decides he wants her ass first. Thoughts? Telgar (talk) 23:35, 6 March 2020 (PST)

Oh I did plan on giving options, I just planned on writing the anal sex part. Something about him fucking his cousins young ass appeals to me. Which I find ironic as a person with a huge impregnation fetish, anal normally doesn't do it for me, but I want to write about Jack fucking Debbie and 4 year old Emilys ass a lot.

There are full body as well, front both profiles and back. Then it moves into close-ups. There is also an archive of previous years photos, for every student that attended the school for the past 70 or so years. Telgar (talk) 03:28, 7 March 2020 (PST)

Another thing that just popped into my head, with those pictures, if Jack ever got ahold of a machine that created lifelike, Androids, he could make a sex bot of his mother or any other current or former student at any age. Telgar (talk) 03:36, 7 March 2020 (PST)

Made some changes at the end of Maredith Martin's biography, that may effect the pages your writing with Helen Moon. Telgar (talk) 10:52, 7 March 2020 (PST)

Made another Change to Maredith, Added to her occupation, High Priestess of Helen Moon, which explains their relationship and why Maredith knows Helen's secrets. Telgar (talk) 16:30, 9 March 2020 (PST)

Retrieved from ‘https://stories.allthefallen.moe/index.php?title=User_talk:Jemini&oldid=36361’