Dirty Talk/Three Brats/June 12th, 2021/Lore of the Land

Actually, I lowkey want to learn the longer version of the story.

Alright, but I'm going to need "the book" for it. I'm not exactly sure where granny keeps it though, so we'll have to start by asking her!

I'll just sit here then, waiting…

Hei mummi! Onko sulla kiire?

((TL: "Hey granny! Are you busy?"))

*sigh* Mitä nyt?

((TL: "What now?"))

Haluan näyttää Emilialle sen kirjan jonka kirjoitit!

((TL: "I wanna show Emilia that book you wrote!"))

Tarkoitatko sitä historiakirjaa?

((TL: "Do you mean that history book?"))

Just se! Vai sanotko ettei hän saisi lukea sitä?

((TL: "Yes, that! Or are you saying she shouldn't read it?"))

I wish I knew what they were saying…

Ai, haluatko SINÄ opettaa häntä?

((TL: "Oh, do YOU want to teach her?"))

No siis… Hän vaikuttaa uteliaalta, joten ajattelin että…

((TL: "Well… She seems curious, so I thought that…"))

I'd prefer to teach her myself, but…

Hmmmm…

Come here, kiddo

Y-yes?

Emilia, was it? I'm thrilled to hear you're interested, but I want you to keep a word of warning in mind.

Okay…

She looks so serious all of a sudden… Almost like she's angry or something…

This may be just fun and games to you girls who live in these peaceful and happy times, but that's thanks to the work the Star-Bearers have done over the past hundreds of years to protect these lands. If you intend to wear a star, do it seriously.

Don't. Break. ANY. Rules. You hear me?

Y-yes, ma'am…

Geez, what's up with her?

Sorry about that, she takes the spiritual aspect of this very seriously…

No, missä se on? Hän haluaa tietää KAIKEN!

((TL: "Well, where is it? She wasn't to know EVERYTHING!"))

Se on samalla penteleen hyllyllä kuin aina ennenkin! Voisitko nyt jättää minut tekemään töitäni rauhassa?

((TL: "It's on the same damn shelf as always! Now, can you leave me do my work in peace?"))

Aye aye! Let's go, Emilia!

Alright, here are the sacred texts!

*giggle* It's just a history book.

Inspect it thoroughly, Emilia!

I wasn't expecting a tome this thick…

Well, it's got other stuff about this village in it as well…

Maybe I should've brought my glasses after all. I hate reading with my contacts. Oh well, I'll start with the introduction at least:

"Vitsippsdalen, "the valley of wood anemone", is a small lakeside village located in the municipality of Åre in the Jämtland county. It is home to roughly nine hundred permanent residents, but you can also find many cottages and holiday homes by the shores of its many lakes in its surrounding regions and neighboring villages all year round. Whether you're visiting to enjoy a quiet summer retreat away from the noisy cities or a ski vacation in the winter wonderland that is Åre, you will find our little village very accommodating and welcoming."

I'm sorry, but I really find reading with contacts difficult… And I'm not even sure where to start reading with the good parts…

It's okay, I can read it out loud.

Did your grandmother really write this?

Sure did! Anyway, shall I start?

Please do.

Okay, here goes:

"The area was first settled roughly one thousand and one hundred years ago when a great calamity occurred in the northeast, forcing many Sámi people to leave their homes and reach southward towards new lands. Among these were a group of four dozen men and women who, led by their shaman and their chieftain, their sole spiritual leader, decided to make this unclaimed land their new home."

"They found the land to be inhabited by two local spirits, the great raven cast away and exiled from his ancestral home of Asgård for all the wrongs he had done in his rebellion against his masters, as well as the mild-spirited nix possessing dazzling beauty and profound wisdom. In their own tongue, they named them Kostikki and Lauhatar respectively. Kostikki paid little to no attention to the village's new residents, but he was observant. Lauhatar was more sociable but saw no reason to interfere with mortal affairs for as long as the Sámi people would be respectful of their new home."

So wait, a "Raven"? I've heard something about that in the history books…

Must've been about Muninn and Huginn. You know, the Odin's Ravens.

Is there a connection…?

No, I don't think so. Although, Kostikki might've been a similar kind of raven as far as his species is considered since he's not exactly a normal raven. As you've already heard from that shorter version of the story, he's quite a pervert, so maybe Odin got tired of his shite! Who really knows!?

Anyway, I'll continue:

"The people coexisted with the spirits peacefully for the coming decades, but this peace was not to last for long, for they came to share the land with the Norsemen during the peak of the Viking expansion. The local communities were peaceful with each other despite their obvious cultural and religious differences and were generally eager to trade and learn about each other. War was in nobody's best interest, but that's not to say there wasn't some tension. The community of Norse settlers was not known to be a warring kind in general, but they were still part of a larger, expanding empire. Many knew of the Sámi tribes and their lands further towards the north, but didn't look kindly to them expanding so far south. Similarly, the Sámi were suspicious of the Norsemen expanding to the lands they had settled first. They especially didn't appreciate the Norsemen's seeming disregard towards the gods and the spirits interconnected to these lands."

"This tension and friction made Kostikki take notice of the new people inhabiting these lands and take an interest in mortal affairs."

"Now, at this point in time, Kostikki's "sphere of influence" and his desires were poorly understood, while Lauhatar - a powerful spirit as she may have been - was still young, naïve, and overall inexperienced. That's why it was seen as a great surprise when he was the one coming down to speak with the leaders of both communities, requesting an audience both with the shamans and the chieftains. They say he was fearful that violence could escalate and wanted to prevent it from happening. He even had a plan, one which would - in his words - "unite this land for generations to come". Kostikki's call and desire for peace weren't contested, for it was what everyone wanted in their hearts anyway, despite their doubts and fears. The Norsemen didn't see it as a problem, and the Sámi - after seeking advice from Lauhatar - didn't either, so they went along with Kostikki's plan."

"Kostikki's plan was to put this task on the backs of the future generations, which at this time simply meant the children. Two girls and one boy were picked by the Sámi for this mission, while two Norse boys and one girl were picked from the other side. They were playful and didn't care about politics or religious differences, and despite some of the more wary parents warning and teaching their children not to trust the "strangers" of the other tribe, they got along very well. Best of all, they could learn each other's languages better, even from a young age. Little did the communities know that Kostikki had ulterior motives."

"You can't really fault Kostikki or call him evil, for he was only acting according to his nature, but he played a crucial role in influencing these children and guiding them towards deeper friendship. He did this by corrupting their young minds with whispers and suggestions, secrets their parents keep from them, and taught them a certain kind of "feel-good" game they should play together to bond with each other."

…And that, my dear friend, is my granny's way of saying, "Kostikki taught these children the pleasures of sex".

"The children caught on quickly, but so did the parents. This, first and foremost, led to the children not being allowed to play together anymore, but also to a lot of uproar and accusations being thrown between the communities. Actions spoke louder than words, for words exchanged were often left misunderstood. The two Sámi girls, in particular, were blamed for their seductive witchcraft by the Norsemen, which corrupted both the boys' minds along with even the poor Norse girl, but the others weren't left without blame either."

This is where we catch up with the story I told you earlier, or at least the condensed version of it.

I don't quite understand something…

Did this Kostikki trick everyone? Did he want tension, or…?

No, this was more like, uhmm… an unintended consequence. It's just that what he wanted didn't really line up with the sensibilities of the people living in these communities. We can't know for sure what he's thinking, but if this book and my granny are to be believed, his only desire is to be entertained by us mortals!

…AND, since he's now being denied his fun, he's mega pissed!

Exactly!

"This turn of events didn't sit well with Kostikki, who only had the purest intentions in mind, and Lauhatar, who felt like the balance and the harmony of this land was being gravely disturbed by the feuding clans, wasn't happy with how things had turned out either. It led to the Sámi falling out of favor with her, to her refusal to guide their tribe through the following hard years to come, and to Kostikki's vengeance."

"While Kostikki is known to be petty and vengeful, he is not known to be hateful or wrathful, meaning his revenge only included turning his tricks, magic, and whispers toward the adults. For one summer month he tried, but nothing seemed to have worked, for many of the adults were much more strong-willed and, most importantly, distrustful of the raven. He then proceeded to try and take over people's minds, but he couldn't force the people into action, nor could he violate the unwilling. Still, with his whispers and curses becoming more profound, unbearable, and irresistible, some began to crack. The clans began to reconcile faced with an angry spirit, but not even this was enough, for it only encouraged Kostikki to push them further and further into depravity. Once he had been angered, he could no longer be satisfied by simple means."

"Lauharar, however, sensing the earnestness, helplessness, and remorse in the inhabitants of the land, finally agreed to help."

"To clean the mess they themselves had created, Lauhatar advised the tribes to give Kostikki what he initially wanted, with her blessing. Lauhatar chose the six young children, originally hand-picked by Kostikki, to bear the brunt of this task, and marked them with the "Star of Lauhatar " as a sign of an offering for Kostikki to allow him to do as he pleased. With the villagers pushed to their limits after being tormented for weeks, and with Kostikki gladly reveling in this chance to finally get what he wanted all along, he went all out for the waning month of this one hot summer."

"Instructed to follow orders by Lauhatar, and ordered to not refuse any request by Kostikki, the young "Star-Bearers" - having already tasted and enjoyed the pleasures of flesh - bore their duty happily and with pride. It's said to have been a four-week-long orgy with everyone participating, which would not conclude until the raven had truly been satisfied with his work, or until the mortals would learn to like it. It didn't take long, and even though life returned to normal, the tradition remained, with the villagers spending their summer months paying tribute to Kostikki by making love. And, just as Kostikki had wished, the peace and love in these lands flourished for generations to come, providing him with centuries of entertainment."

And that's about it.

So, I suppose that's also why there are children involved.

If you believe the story, then more or less, yeah. Kostikki likes taboos and wants to push people towards things that the wider society finds morally unacceptable.

…It still kinda sounds like he was forcing the kids into it…

Maybe he did in the end, but he wouldn't have gone as far as he did if he hadn't been angered in the first place.

Forget about that: we like and enjoy doing this stuff, so what's the problem?

None, right?

I… I guess…

Besides, those kids enjoyed and liked it too, and everyone enjoyed it in the end. Kostikki simply taught them the tricks, but it was eventually the kids that got interested and tried that stuff out willingly. All's well that ends well, right?