JoS/Henriette/27th Journal - A Date with Destiny, pt. 2
First Seed, 7th, 4E 203
I'll try to keep this all in chronological order. You know, to build suspense, to keep you waiting with bated breath, although considering that you can feel my pen scribbling words on your papers, my old tome of secrets, you must already know that I have at least come out alive from whatever transpired. It's a long story with ups and downs and even some embarrassment, and there's probably a lot I won't even remember to talk about.
Knowing that no matter what was about to transpire would bring harm to the city of Whiterun, at least as far as external threats like the Legion or the Stormcloaks are considered, we proceeded with the plan of trapping a dragon on the great porch of the castle. Jarl had his men ready, and all they needed was my word. I laid down the challenge, letting my thundering voice roar under the starlit night. Not long after, my challenge was answered.
There he was. Odahviing. He's not any more special than any of the other Dragons I have faced, but let's be honest, fighting a dragon is never an easy task. He managed to take down three of the city guards, and it soon became apparent to everyone that the fight was between me and him only. He probably thought he had me cornered on the porch and approached me… That's when he got caught like a skeever in a trap. That's kind of embarrassing when I think about it because this place was back in the days used to trap some dragon… Numinex, I think? That's a famous story, isn't it? Surely Odahviing should've figured out what we were planning? Or maybe dragons aren't as wise as I give them credit for… At least not all of them…
I didn't want to laugh at his misfortune or mock him or anything. In hindsight, it's probably a good thing I didn't because he seems like a chill dragon. Dragons do, after all, have a strange sense of hierarchy… For them, power is everything and considering that I've already defeated Alduin in battle once, there's obviously room for doubt in this dragon's mind when it comes to Alduin's lordship. Is his voice truly the strongest? It may be amongst the Dov, but that doesn't include me.
He probably didn't appreciate me trapping him and would've preferred to face me in a fair battle, but in a sense, this was a fair battle. It just wasn't a battle of might but rather a battle of wits. He let himself be fooled into thinking he was facing me in a fight to the death, and in a sense, I utterly defeated him. He had no choice but to reveal everything to me.
Alduin was hiding in Sovngarde, but getting there isn't exactly easy, as you might expect. I wasn't ready to die you know, and even if I were, there's no way I would've been invited to Sovngarde. My soul is already bound to the Oblivion I'm sure. Odahviing, however, was willing to help me. He knows a way to enter that place through the ancient ruins of Skuldafn. This ancient Nordic ruin lies high up in the Velothi mountains between Skyrim and Morrowind, inaccessible by foot, so I really needed the wings of a dragon to get here. This obviously put us in a predicament… Would I dare to free this dragon right after going through all the trouble of trapping him? What if he is lying to me? Such questions went through my mind, and I sat down to think long and hard.
I sadly didn't get to enjoy my peace and quiet for very long, as I was interrupted by Odahviing talking to someone, seeming a little irritated. I raised my eyes to see Farengar, the court wizard watching the dragon up close and personal. He is obviously intrigued by dragons, which became apparent to me when we first met. He didn't really even seem to care about the beast being so damn dangerous. His curiosity ended up pissing the dragon off big time.
Farengar talked about doing some tests, taking samples of his scales and even blood, maybe teeth, being very interested in their alchemical properties. Odahviing told him to begone, but this did him no good. Instead, the wizard was just getting bolder. The part he was most interested in was actually underneath the dragon, between his legs.
Wait, now that I think about it, do Dragons even have penises? I mean, they're Aedric species and don't reproduce in the same way us mortals do. They don't even need to eat or drink in a traditional manner, so why would they have dicks? No, seriously, why would they? As much as the idea of a giant lizard schlong sounds interesting, It just doesn't really make sense to me! I've never seen one, that's for sure! I suppose this is what Farengar was curious about as well… Not sure why he was so curious about dragon penises in the first place, but him getting his hands to this place was obviously the very last straw for the dragon. It released a mighty roar accompanied by a breath of fire, a breath that luckily didn't end up hurting anyone. Jarl was SO pissed though. I'd never seen him that angry. He was probably a bit on edge himself because of a giant dragon in front of him.
I had watched enough and said I was done wasting time. I followed my gut and decided to trust Odahviing. It's a good thing I did because just as he promised, he took me on his back and flew me to Skuldafn.
Wow, it was amazing flying so high above the ground. I wouldn't mind having this one as my mount… Sadly, it's probably not going to happen. This was a one-time deal, and after we landed, he bid me farewell. He said he's eagerly waiting to know what'll happen in the fight that has the fate of the world hanging in balance.
This Nordic ruin is like most others, except maybe a little bit bigger than your average one. It must've been accessible by foot in the past, as evident by the lack of treasure here. Maybe it was raided by bandits or adventurers some hundreds of years ago. Still, it was mostly intact and in a pristine condition as well, at least from the outside. Inside the temple, some corridors and areas had been caved in, but there was no significant damage or entire areas sealed off, or anything like that. There were a lot of guardians still alive too, and I mean A LOT.
I was greeted first by a dragon, probably ordered by Alduin to act as a guard. Then I met another one. I killed them both, as they were pretty weak. Shot one down midair, while the other one I had to ground using Dragonrend. Me shouting attracted attention from the Draugr though, and not just a handful either. I had never faced that kind of horde, not with friends or alone. There were just so many of them!
Outside was a large, expansive plateau with lots and lots of flat surfaces, tall platforms, and distance between me and the enemies, which helped me a lot. I had to use my voice once again to summon a snowstorm to assist me, after which I could use nature to my advantage and hide from my enemy. Even though I had an easy time outside, I really can't say it was a quick battle. There were just so many of the undead in every direction, and for each one I killed, it felt like two new Draugr appeared. I could kill most of them without being seen, with only my booming voice revealing my location every once in a while. I always had to move after calling upon a new storm, which made me super anxious because I knew nobody would've come to my help if I failed there.
It even got to the point once where I thought I was trapped and was going to be caught, either killed instantly, or raped and killed later, or perhaps just raped and enslaved. It almost came to that, but luckily I scraped by. The only place left for me to hide was a watchtower behind me. I snuck inside but couldn't rely on a bow in such a tight space. I brandished my daggers and killed two guards inside while venturing up the stairs, with the enemy on my tail. I was in a hurry and didn't realize that I had allowed myself to be led into an ambush. In a tight space, faced with four Draugr in front of me, I couldn't walk past them, and I couldn't run away either. I had to fight despite being at odds. I only managed to kill one before they grabbed hold of my arms, both of them. Thus began a desperate fight for survival.
The clock was ticking, and they ripped apart my armor, destroying my top and my bottom halves completely, and also my panties. I had been able to retain the hold of my weapons, so I could cut myself loose by cutting one of the arms off. Still, my escape was cut loose due to them tripping me and me falling on my face. One of them jumped on top of me and pushed me down, and no matter how much force I tried to muster, I couldn't lift my wrists from the stone floor. I had to release my voice once more, and luckily my fiery shout was able to engulf all of them in flames. It allowed me to scramble to my feet, naked but still safe. I ran for my life, only to realize I had ran into a dead-end… Kind of.
On top of the tower, the question I had in my mind was how to get down? I knew I had to jump, but I didn't want to break my legs. The enemy knew where I was, and I wasn't going to defeat them in such large numbers… I could've just turned ethereal, which would've shielded me from a fall, but I had just shouted and couldn't tap into the voice at all. I just had to take the risk and jump. I've never jumped down from such heights, so it was scary. I ended up hurting myself, but no broken bones… Thank Sithis for that. Still, with the snowfall slowly dying down, the sun fast-rising, and the Draugr still aware of my location, I had to run and fast.
I wasn't thinking straight, so I hid inside the temple since I had a feeling this was where I would be heading towards anyway. How did I stop the Draugr from coming inside? Did I lock the door? Kind of. It was a bit of a permanent solution. Legends talk of how Nords of the ancient days didn't even need to use siege weaponry because their Thu'um was powerful enough… I put that theory to test, and my Unrelenting Force caused a bit of an avalanche with the walls and the roof falling on the door. I was trapped inside with the enemy trapped outside.
After relaxing and resting for about two hours and failing to find anything to cover up my now exposed chest and groin, I pushed on. Inside the temple, I met considerably fewer enemies, which was a relief. There isn't really anything to talk about this place either. There were some dumb puzzles, really easy stuff. I had to look for a claw to open up a locked door too, and also found a word-wall with old ancient knowledge for me to study. After that, I arrived outside at the top of the temple.
I was surprised by Draugr from two directions when exiting the building. I luckily managed to dodge them, but I knew I had no way of defeating such powerful undead at such close range. My only way was to somehow create distance. What better way to do that than shout at them? They fell from the top of the building to their final deaths. Only one enemy remained; a final challenge on the road to Sovngarde.
A Dragon Priest was guarding the portal, and he was not going to let me through. Fortunately, he was nothing special and amongst the weakest of his kind I've faced, which was very good for me. His mask looks pretty cool though, and will make for a cool souvenir. His staff looked mighty valuable too, but sadly, I had no chance of taking it with me. I had to use it to open up the portal, you see, and after I entered the portal, there was no coming back. And so, I entered the mighty Sovngarde. Naked.
I believe I already stated that this is a kind of place I would never ever be able to come to after death. I mean, I never even believed that place existed. When it comes to religion and different interpretations of similar gods between different races… It's just so confusing. What is true and what is not? I was standing there, saw it by my own eyes, so there's no choice for me but to believe that it's a real place in this grand creation of gods, but does that mean that this is the only "correct" afterlife, or is there more to this? The Redguard dream of some faraway shore as their version of afterlife, while Khajiit talk of some sands behind the stars or something… My gut says they're just high on sugar, and they talk about warm sands all the time anyway… You get the point, afterlife is a confusing thing. At least the Daedra are somehow consistent! They each have one realm, and this realm is their own. There's no grey area. Why can't the Aedric gods be straightforward like that?
Anyway, that place really was gorgeous, as was expected of a place outside our mortal world. Mountains and pine trees reminded me of Skyrim, which wasn't really at all that surprising. Still, everything there was much prettier, greener, mightier, grander… I obviously only experienced a small portion of Sovngarde, and who knows how far this world extends and what beauty I could find if I extended my visit.
Oh, and sure enough, I found Alduin there as well.
Immediately after my entry, I found some fallen Stormcloak soldier, searching his way through the woods. Isn't that nice? He got to Sovngarde! Good for him! Still, there's always one more test left for everyone who winds up in that place, and that's to actually reach the Hall of Valor. Alduin had called down a vast blanket of mist to confuse the dead travelers and use it as a weapon so he could devour their souls for his own use, so there's no way of knowing how many truly make it past these misty valleys.
I can see he was trying to keep a straight face, but he just couldn't help but to point out the obvious and ask why in Oblivion am I naked. I basically just told him to shut up and worry about himself. I tried to help him find his way towards the Hall of Valor by using my voice to blow the mist away, but nothing seemed to help. It's like my voice wasn't powerful enough to blow the fog away, and I eventually lost him from my sight completely. I feel sorry for him, but there's not much I can do for him. He ran out on his own anyway… I hope he survived…
At this point, I was also trying to actually call Alduin, shoot at him, do anything to get his attention, but nothing I did was working. He was hiding in the mist like a coward making sure I couldn't get to him. I quickly realized that it was in my best interest to push towards the Hall of Valor myself because if Alduin was using mist as his defense, he could also use it as a weapon against me and surprise me. I luckily found my own way really quickly before anything dramatic could happen to me.
At the gates, I found a handsome man by the name of Tsun. He's apparently a shield-thane of Shor himself. You know, Lorkhan, the god of man, or as the elves call him, the trickster. Yeah, that just proves my point about religions being confusing. I didn't get a chance to meet the god himself, but he sure has a fine thane for himself. A tall man, long greasy hair, a strong jawline, broad shoulders, and muscles that every man dreams of… Oh, I'm getting sidetracked, am I? I didn't go to Sovngarde to admire its men, although getting some eye candy in the form of Tsun was a nice bonus. He also got some eye candy in the form of me! Although, to be honest, he didn't find me attractive, and he actually seemed a little offended.
"Have you got no shame?" he asked me, and I tried to explain that my lack of clothing was beyond my control and it wasn't exactly my fault my armor got ripped into shreds… I didn't make a persuasive argument though, because I was making no effort to cover myself up. My nipples, the gap between my legs, I let him see it all. I am, after all, proud of my beauty, even if it may not appeal to everyone. He gave me something to wear, which was actually pretty nice. It's plate armor, which I'm not used to, but at least it's something. I kind of like it. It's modest yet girly.
I then told him that I came to hunt down Alduin, but it wasn't a reason enough for him to let me through, especially since I was still very much alive. Technically anyway. I'm still a vampire, probably the only one to ever set foot in that world… Eh, I really don't care about that. He asked me, "by what right do you request entry?" Well, I could've just told him that I'm Dragonborn and really need to kill Alduin, but since I kind of already implied that… I told him that I listen for the Night Mother. I mean, that's kind of a bid deal, isn't it? Night Mother is the agent of Sithis, who in turn created Shor, who is the Nordic version of Lorkhan. I mean, makes perfect sense, right? Obviously, as I answer to a force greater than Tsun does, he should not be in any kind of position to deny me entry, right?
Okay, it wasn't that easy. I had already displeased him once, and now he was just convinced I was playing games with him. "Why are you here to play games, child? You are not welcome here." Truth be told, I kind of was just fucking with him… I giggled and said I was just kidding, I'm the Dragonborn… Okay, I wasn't kidding at all, and I still wasn't able to convince him to let me through, at least not without a test. He said that while he won't welcome me, by tradition, should I be able to pass his trial, he wouldn't hinder me from completing the task I've come here to do. I guess he also wanted Alduin gone… So, that's what I did. I proved myself to him in combat. I had a feeling he wasn't giving me his all, as I can't imagine myself being able to defeat such a powerful man in fair combat, but a win is a win. I was allowed entry.
Inside I found pretty much the grandest looking hall I've ever laid my eyes on. There were a lot of heroes there, some of which you only hear about in tales and legends. Ysgramor, Jurgen Windcaller, two Nords who I presume were Arch-Mages for the College in the past, some other mighty warriors too, and the High King Torygg who was killed by Ulfric when I was just an ordinary little child. Some man also welcomed me as a fellow Dragonborn, and I spoke briefly to a really, really beautiful woman who thanked me. Yes, according to her, we had actually met. I had slain her as a Draugr, after which she was allowed to pass on to the afterlife… How sweet a story. I'm happy I was able to help her.
Oh, and Olaf One-Eye was there too. Historical records are a little conflicting of him since some consider him a betrayer, or a bad king, something like that, but if that were true, surely he wouldn't be allowed here now wouldn't he? Besides, didn't I kill him in a Draugr form too? Why didn't he thank me for freeing his soul? Has his soul been here for a longer time? Perhaps the Draugr Olaf I killed was a fake Olaf, an impostor? Eh, best not worry about such details, I suppose.
What do all these mighty heroes do in the afterlife? They sing, dance, play music, eat good food and drink good mead. You know, they "indulge". In a sense, this kind of afterlife probably isn't too far off from what the Daedric prince of debauchery offers. Don't let Nords read that line though, they'd probably feel really disrespected if they heard me compare Sovngarde to the Myriad Realms of Revelry. I mean, I even saw people making out. I wouldn't be surprised if there's sex involved from time to time too. I guess even in the afterlife, mead can make people get a little horny, and the opposite sex look even more attractive! Can you imagine Ysgramor banging one of these women here, like that pretty woman I talked about? Like, he's a really, REALLY big man. I wonder if he's got a big one?
Oh, and they were fighting too. How could I forget? Just some friendly duels though. They're mostly warriors, after all.
As for Shor himself? Well, apparently he doesn't exactly like showing himself around. He's too bright and brilliant for mortal minds to comprehend.
In case you're wondering, why aren't all these mighty warriors taking the fight to Alduin? I don't know the exact reason, but they've been forbidden from doing so. It makes sense because their time in the mortal world is over, and Alduin is a bigger threat to the mortal world. Besides, Alduin does hold an advantage over those who have deceased already. Maybe he would just consume their souls and fuel himself to become more powerful. Not sure.
The only three people allowed to join me on the battlefield are the three people I hadn't gotten across writing about yet. These are the people I learned the Dragonrend from when I used an Elder Scroll to experience vision from the past that one time… I now learned their names too: Gromlaith, Felldir, and Hakon. They do not possess Dragonblood, but they're masters of the voice in their own right in a way unlike any other person in these halls. In addition to that, since they've faced Alduin before, it only made sense for them to assist me.
My voice alone wouldn't have been enough to bring down the mist, but with their help, it was no problem. Four voices combined as one blew Alduin's stupid little cloud away, meaning he could not hide from me anymore. It was time for the final battle.
He had recovered a lot, but he was still wounded and recovering from our previous battle over a year ago. Besides, I had grown stronger too.
With no place to hide or escape to this time around, Alduin showed more of what he was capable of. It certainly wasn't a quick task, not even four on one, but slowly we exhausted him. It became apparent to me that he had already shown all his weapons and had no more to offer, but he didn't stop trying, and he didn't stop intimidating me.
"I am Alduin", he reminded me, "Firstborn of Akatosh", and so on and so forth. He talked about how there's no way he could've ever been defeated, but whether that was hubris, arrogance, or desperation from being bested, I do not know. All I know is that I eventually had him grounded and unable to defend himself. The battle was reaching its conclusion. I knew it, and it made me happy. Still, the work had to be seen to the end, and the victory could not be declared before he finally fell for good.
I knew he was a special one even amongst the dragons… I was quite looking forward to absorbing his soul and becoming more powerful in the process, but that wasn't to be. I'm not even sure what happened to him… Was it an explosion? Whatever the case may be, he is no more. I hope. And as there was no longer a reason for me to remain in Sovngarde, I was subsequently returned to the land of the mortals. As his final farewell to me, Tsun said that he sees potential in me to still turn my life around and said he looks forward to meeting me again.
I don't think that is happening. Sorry, Tsun.
The place I returned to was actually the Throat of the World. Paarthurnax was waiting for me, as were many other dragons. They had been waiting eagerly as the destiny of this world was hanging in balance. What they thought of me returning, I do not know. Was it happiness, was it grief? Do dragons feel such emotions, or was it all simply a sign of respect towards me for proving my Thu'um to be superior to that of Alduin? Perhaps that's what's most likely. I still do not understand their language perfectly, after all.
Paarthurnax then talked to me. As he's more or less most respected and perhaps the strongest of all dragons alive after Alduin, and certainly the wisest, he's fit to become a leader for this new generation of dragons. He said he would leave his mountain, as he's finally been allowed to do, now that his part in my destiny has been fulfilled. He wants to spread his vision of the way of the voice to any dragon willing to listen.
Still, he's a dragon too. I have nothing but respect towards him, and I trust him with continuing to be an ally to the mortalkind, but I have to wonder… What if there's some truth to what Esbern and Delphine were going on about? Is there still evil in his heart? Perhaps this new era of Dragons under his leadership will lead to another tyranny? Only time will tell… I hope to not be part of that future though.
And here, my dearest diary, is where I conclude this chapter. I know my destiny will lead me forward to a new direction, perhaps sooner than I will even realize, but for now, I'm looking forward to peace and quiet surrounded by my friends here in the mountains, in the quiet western woods of the Rift.
Oh, but maybe I should think of some closing statements? After all, this does conclude a significant chapter of my life…
I've never liked attention, and I never wanted to really become a hero, but this had to be done. Paarthurnax once asked me about my motivations for why I wanted to kill Alduin, and I admitted to him it was primarily personal. I didn't really care too much about a prophecy or some supposed destiny. All I cared about was not wanting this world to end, and if I wanted to be even more selfish, I wanted to get revenge on Alduin. Yeah, I've tried not to write about it too much - only every now and then in passing - but I've never forgotten who it was that killed my parents and dragged me down this road… Granted, I might've still become a vampire even if Alduin didn't kill my family, but it can be argued that my life wouldn't have changed as much as it did. Perhaps I can now look at all the good and lovely things I've experienced since then, but I was really miserable back then, wasn't I?
So, yeah, it was nice to also get that personal revenge against him too. Bet the bards aren't gonna sing about that! …Not that I wish for my name to be uttered by the lips of any bards of Skyrim. Especially not Sven.
As for me saying this marks an end to a significant chapter in life, I really don't know what comes next. Nothing would make me happier than just retiring somewhere and leading a happy, peaceful life. I really wish to be forgotten and left alone by most of the world, maybe find a good man to start a family with… But that's not gonna happen, I think. Just because I don't know what comes next doesn't mean my adventure is over yet. I want to see the world. I want to grow stronger and richer too! Still, I hope, since Alduin has been vanquished, the world can forget about the Dragonborn too. I will forever carry the gift of the voice, and I will carry it proudly, but as far as I'm concerned, now it's time to look forward and stop worrying about the past.