Mindslaver V2.
story starting point.
¡¡UNFINISHED!!
⠀⠀notez.
deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore, like my senses. darkness. the only word I could describe what I’m seeing. not that I can’t see. I see perfectly fine, it’s just that I’m seeing all I could see is the best way I could’ve described my vision. seeing how seemingly my sense are gone, I wouldn’t be able to tell if I’m walking, siting, etc., so all I could do logically first, is, think. so I thought, remembering what happened begore I was in this predicament… …I tried to remember what I did, or at the very least any memory before I was here, today, but nothing. you just know that I’m ME, and everything I makes ME. ..I was a human, 19 years old, male, dominant, but raised as such to not behave as abnormal as I wanted to, to be more acceptable as a human being. I hated them for that. I wanted to be me, and I still do. what matters now is w- ….what am I thinking? why am I thinking? what for? w-.
deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore, like my senses. darkness. the only word I could describe what I’m seeing.
deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᵇᵉⁱⁿᵍ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ᵃⁿʸᵐᵒʳᵉ
deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᶠᵃᵈᵉˢ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⁿᵒᵗ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᵇᵉⁱⁿᵍ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ .
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ᵃⁿʸᵐᵒʳᵉ
deja vu, and dread sets in
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᵇᵘᵗ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ⁱᵗ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ᵠᵘⁱᶜᵏˡʸ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ᶠᵃᵈᵉˢ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⁿᵒᵗ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᵇᵉⁱⁿᵍ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ.
deja vu,
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ and
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᴅʀᴇᴀᴅ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ˢᵉᵗˢ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⁱⁿ
deja ᴠᴜ,
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᵃⁿᵈ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᵈʳᵉᵃᵈ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ˢᵉᵗˢ
ᴅᴇᴊᴀ
⠀⠀ ⠀ᴠᴜ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᵃⁿᵈ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ dread
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᵈᵉʲᵃ
ᵛᵘ,
ᵃⁿᵈ
ᵈᵉʲᵃ
ᵈʳᵉᵃᵈ
ᵃⁿᵈ
ⁱⁿ ᵃⁿʸᵐᵒʳʳ ǫᴜɪᴄᴋʟʏ ᵇᵉⁱⁿᵍ
ᵈᵉʲᵃ
ᴀɴᴅ
ˢᵉᵗˢ ⁱᵗ
ɴᴏᴛ ᵛᵘ
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deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja v̪̩̜̜̙̜ͨ̽̄u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈, and d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅr̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚ets i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊, but it quic͔ͣͦ́́͂ͅk̲̱̠̞̖ͧ̔͊̇̽̿̑ͯͅly fade̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑s, no͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊ being͎͚̥͎͔͕ͥ̿ there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣt q̥̳̭̘̳͔̹̄ͫ̔̌ͭ̿̓ͅuick̲̱̠̞̖ͧ̔͊̇̽̿̑ͯͅly fades, not̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊ be̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣng ther̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑ anymore. deja vu, and dre̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑ad sets in, but it quickly fades, n͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊t being there any͉̝͖̻̯ͮ̒̂ͮ͋ͫͨm̘͈̺̪͓ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊re. dej͇̗̲̞̪̹̝̫̞ͬ͐̀ͧ̿a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍ vu̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈, a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍n͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊d dread̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ sets in, but it quickly fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dread sets in, but it quickly fade̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚, n͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊t be̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊g͎͚̥͎͔͕ͥ̿ there anymore. d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅe̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑j͇̗̲̞̪̹̝̫̞ͬ͐̀ͧ̿a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍ vu, and dr̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚ i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊, bu̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊ it q̥̳̭̘̳͔̹̄ͫ̔̌ͭ̿̓ͅu̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣc͔ͣͦ́́͂ͅk̲̱̠̞̖ͧ̔͊̇̽̿̑ͯͅl͕͖͉̭̰ͬ̍ͤ͆̊ͨy͉̝͖̻̯ͮ̒̂ͮ͋ͫͨ fades, not b͎̣̫͈̥̗͒͌̃͑̔̾ͅe̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊g͎͚̥͎͔͕ͥ̿ t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊h͚̖̜̍̃͐e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑r̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑ a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍n͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊y͉̝͖̻̯ͮ̒̂ͮ͋ͫͨm̘͈̺̪͓ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊r̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑. d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅe̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑j͇̗̲̞̪̹̝̫̞ͬ͐̀ͧ̿a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍ v̪̩̜̜̙̜ͨ̽̄u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈, a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍n͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅr̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚ i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn, but it quickly fades, not̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊ b͎̣̫͈̥̗͒͌̃͑̔̾ͅei̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊g͎͚̥͎͔͕ͥ̿ there anymor̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑. deja vu, and dread sets in, b͎̣̫͈̥̗͒͌̃͑̔̾ͅu̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊ it q̥̳̭̘̳͔̹̄ͫ̔̌ͭ̿̓ͅu̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣc͔ͣͦ́́͂ͅk̲̱̠̞̖ͧ̔͊̇̽̿̑ͯͅl͕͖͉̭̰ͬ̍ͤ͆̊ͨy͉̝͖̻̯ͮ̒̂ͮ͋ͫͨ fades, not being there anymore. deja vu, and dr̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ se̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚ i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊, b͎̣̫͈̥̗͒͌̃͑̔̾ͅu̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊ it quic͔ͣͦ́́͂ͅkly fades, no͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊t being there anym̘͈̺̪͓ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊r̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑.
flashs of million.. no. billions. trillions? a inhumanly incomprehensible number flashed as fast as it came, I have no idea. doesn’t matter, as if it never existed, that collect mental flash vanished into nonexistence…. next thing I know, or in better words, the only thing I seemingly know now was that I chose certain abilities with a deity you know nothing about, every thought I have about them, or even moments I had with them are vague, yet as clear as day, but every concept I had about both them, and the moments I had with them became true in the sense that those memories altered to suit those concepts I had about it, and them; for an example, I thought it was a harmful entity, so my memory of the experience altered to suit that idea, the entity was menacing, threatening in many ways, but I next try to conclude that it were possibly benevolent. my memory of it possibly being evil gone as if wasn’t there in the first place, and now taking its place memories of the experience with it being kind, thoughtful, etc.. so. in the end I can’t grasp the idea of it, or the experience I seemingly had with them. I’m in my room, standing? no, laying down!? what? I can’t comprehend what the heck is going on. as if lagging behind my mind need a few minutes to seemingly readjust to this plane of reality. my heart is ponding?! all of this is weird..
my room is quite a mess, not as much as you would expect I bet, but allow me to describe the sight. quite cramped yet spacious enough to freely move around if you’ve grown comfortable in this space. it’s about over 7 feet from left to right when entering. over 8ft in length. not all that big, but not too small either. it’s my home’s place, more like her partner’s place, it’s a trailer house. I’ve been living there after coming back from NY for over 5 months. been tryna get a job since, it’s a requirement from my mom to let me stay there. she’s very kind, sweet, VERY playful in my POV, you’ll see. I’ve never been attracted to my mother because well, she’s fat, not so to not be able to call her beautiful in her own right. she quite is, but maybe because she’s my mother, wouldn’t know, never asked others. back to my room, I’m now realizing I’m sitting on the edge of my bed.. I’ve been trying to realize at least what just happened, and what I should do…… when I go into deep thought time flys by very quickly, 30m feels like just 5m.. so, over 40m passed, and next thing I knew it my mom came from work of uber driving. it’s about 10:23am. as usual, my mom tells that she’s home, still trying my best to figure this out, I gave it a bit more thought before she came to check-up on me—*knock knock* at my door.
“ingrea (enter)”
“como estas hijo?!” (how are you son?!) she asked with excitement in her voice, and face.
“buen.. qué pasa??” (good.. what’s up??)
“¡Me encontré con uno de tus viejos amigas! y ella dijo que le gustaría reconectarse contigo~. ah~? tienes una chica mirándote a mi hiiijjo!~. ella dijo que su nombre es Ruth~ de NY! oh~ que jugador es mi hijo. ella se está quedando en un refugio para personas sin hogar en este momento en la ciudad de al lado. Triste ella no es una chica más.. ¿como a decir? ¿una más establecido, con una carrera, o al menos estudiando en una escuela? pero! es uunaaa chiica! ¿qué vamos a hacer? ¿¡Vamos a ir a donde está ella y tu puedo presentar me a ella!? o al menos puedo llevarte a ella, y me la puedes presentar en otro tiempo!! ay estoy tan emocionada!! mi hijo va a tener una chica!!-“ (I ran into one of your old friends! and she said that she would like to reconnect with you~. oh~? you have a girl looking at you my soooon!~. she said her name is Ruth~ from NYC! oh~ what a player my son is. she is staying at a homeless shelter right now in the next city over. sad, she's not another girl... how to say? a more established one, with a career, or at least studying in a school? but! she‘a a giiirlll! what are we going to do? Let's go to where she is and you can introduce me to her!? or at least I can take you to her, and you can introduce her to me at another time! oh I'm so excited!! my son is going to have a girl!!) as expected my mother expects too much from the mere mention of a girl remotely related to me. ugh. heh. geez..
“geez!! calm down! sheesh. ella.. es solo una amiga, y la última vez que hablé con ella, no nos separamos de la mejor manera.” (geez!! calm down! sheesh. she... she's just a friend, and the last time I spoke to her, we didn't part in the best way.) I said, tryna calm her down, and inform her of that happen.
“oh.. pero, parece que quiere volver a conectarse contigo de alguna manera así que deberías aprovechar esta oportunidad para volver con ella, de todos modos no tienes muchos amigos, ¿verdad? ¡así que sal y haz algo con tu vida! …hijo mío, tienes que salir de esa mentalidad de tuyo… tal vez algunos amigos realmente te ayuden… te dejaré solo ahora mijo” (oh.. but, it seems like she wants to reconnect with you somehow so you should take this opportunity to get back together with her, you don't have many friends anyway, do you? so get out there and do something with your life! …my son, you have to get out of that mentality of yours… maybe some friends will really help you… I'll leave you alone now darling) she said, sending a kiss before she closes the door.
gosh. ‘interesting how all this is playing out’. laying down on my bed, arms spread apart as I think ‘sheesh, getting bit horny.. wanna beat it’, and I did. used my phone to do the deed, I finished, and the thoughts of what transpired comes rushing back, still in all forms of consciousnesses, unaware of truly what happened with seemingly that entity …entities? I’m just going in circles when tryna pinpoint ANYTHING about that experience. if it wasn’t obvious, the setting, scenery, EVERYTHING was based off of everything I thought, and subconsciously thought. I could not pinpoint anything of it, but as if I knew in the back of my mind that I knew it changed I continued to chase the idea that I could figure it out.
this is what’s transpiring in my mind right now. imagine a person in a spacious box with nothing in it, our main focus is the person, and what they’re doing, nevermind everything else, so, a empty box with a person in it. they walk forward, but every time they walked seemingly time reverts back to when they were standing, not walking. in this case, standing is the mental process of already remembering things as a constant, and walking would be the idea of going into thought of a memory, like trying to figure out something from a memory of a sitting dog (ex: going into thought of what’s possibly going on inside that sitting dog’s mind). so. as that person “walked” time reverts back when they weren’t walking, aka, standing. in this case, time reverting back would mean a memory altered each time they “walked”, faster than instant. in this scenario that person would be my consciousness. so, what’s happening is I try to go into possibly “why” such a thing was. seeing how my intention is that, I’m stuck in the process of wanting to do just that, a infinite loop, being unable to going into thought beyond just remembering. I constantly do it, still being aware time passes by, so realizing it goes no where after a couple minutes I stop trying, and leave it at that.. for now, but what always had been a constant about my experience then was the details of my powers I gain.