The Magic of Ellie/Part 5
Chapter 1, Part 5
I felt like a piece of scum as I parked in the driveway and approached the house. Something in me screamed to turn around, get back in my car, and leave. But something even stronger drove me on. It put Ellie in my mind; her angelic face, long hair, gleaming smile, and breathtaking figure. It reminded me that she wanted to be with me, and here was our first opportunity to really spend time together alone, now that all our cards were on the table.
I opened the door, and went inside. She wasn't around, it seemed. I took a few steps into the living room, after kicking off my shoes. Then I heard soft footfalls, and Ellie bounded around the corner from the hall, and was in my arms before I knew what was happening. She squeezed her arms around my neck and clutched me like we'd been apart for years.
My body's instinctive reaction took control, and I hugged her back with equal ferocity. She laughed, the sound like clear bells so close to my ear, and a goofy smile spread across my face. This felt so good.
It's not like we never hugged before today. She was always throwing them around in the past, and I welcomed every one. After what I'd heard her say this morning though, the reason behind all that past affection was becoming clear. Still, holding her now felt different. It was more intense, more intimate. I was suddenly very glad indeed that I had gone through with this.
Ellie pulled away, still holding her hands around my neck, and looked at me for a moment.
“What do you want to do?” She asked, brilliant smile dazzling me in its proximity.
“Whatever you want,” I said, “I'm just happy to be here.”
“Me too!” She said bubbly, and the naked glee on her face was so wholesome.
“What about you? What do you want to do?” I cautioned to ask, hoping she wouldn't make things awkward with more innuendo.
“Let's talk.” She said simply.
“Talk. About what?” That took me by surprise.
“Anything. Everything! We don't even know much about each other, really.” She explained, the exuberance she displayed was contagious, and I found myself grinning back at her.
“Ellie, I've known you since you were born.” I said.
“Yes, but you don't really know me,” She said, as if explaining something to a slow student, “When's the last time you and me had a real conversation, just the two of us?”
Good point. Technically, the only reason I ever came around there was because of Brad. So Ellie was only sometimes in the picture, and then she wasn't the target or focus of the talking. I realized she was right; we really knew very little about one another, save for the superficial things, and whatever had come up when hanging out with Brad.
“Fair enough. Tell me about yourself, then.” I said.
She let go of my neck, took my hand in hers, and led me to the couch.
“Want something to drink?” She asked, obviously trying to be a good host.
“Are there any more of those orange sodas?”
“Yep!” She turned and bounced into the kitchen.
I watched her fondly as she went to fetch the drinks, feeling her youthful energy was a balm to my soul. I hoped she never lost that, and also hoped that I could always be around to experience it. It occurred to me that her peculiar blend of childishness and maturity might just be the greatest, most precious thing in the world. It also made me feel far older than I should have at sixteen. What a difference those years can hold.
She returned in a moment with a pair of drinks, popped the tab on mine, handed it to me, then sat down right next to me on the sofa, our legs touching. She seemed so excited, and I was starting to feel the fluttery stomach feeling of nerves, like a first date. Something was bad wrong with this picture, and I'd have to deal with it at some point. But not now.
“Let's take turns with questions and answers to start,” Ellie instructed, “We'll do rock, paper, scissors to see who asks first.”
“Sounds like you planned this out already.” I noted.
“A little.” She admitted, a bashful look stealing over her.
“Alright then. Let's do it.”
She won the game, paper over rock. So she asked first.
“What do you want to do with your life?”
“Wow. Coming out swinging, huh?” I chuckled, feeling liked I had been punched a little.
“Sorry. We really don't have a whole lot of time.”
“Yeah,” I said, realizing she was right, “Well, I know I want to write. Maybe I can't make a career out of it, but even if all I can do is write novels as a hobby, that will be fine. But if possible, I'd like that to be my source of income.”
“Have you written anything yet?”
“A few stories when I was younger, but they're garbage.” I admitted, remembering my clumsy old efforts with a cringe.
“I'd like to read them,” Ellie sad shyly, “If you don't mind.”
“They're really bad.” I warned.
She stared at her lap, but continued, “That doesn't matter.”
I sighed and said, “I've never let anybody read them. So you can't say a word to anyone. Even Brad.”
“I won't!” She ensured me, brightening up at the offer.
“You're getting your own computer soon, right?” I asked.
“Yeah, in a couple of weeks.”
“I'll put them on a disc then,” I said, “But I'm warning you; don't expect much.”
“I can't wait!” She exclaimed, looking genuinely excited.
All I could do was marvel at her enthusiasm over something so meager. You'd think I was giving her the location of the Holy Grail. Why did she care so much? And then, I knew my question to ask her.
“Why do you like me so much? I don't understand it at all.”
Ellie looked at me for a moment, then smiled down into her lap, “There are a hundred reasons. But if I had to say one, I guess it's because you've always treated me like a person, instead of a cute little kid. Do you remember when you showed me the clouds?”
“I don't think so.” I admitted.
“It was a long time ago. We were lying in the back yard, and you were teaching me the types. Cumulus, stratus, nimbus. You talked to me like I was your age, and didn't do any silly crap to try and keep my attention. It made me feel...connected to you, somehow. And that was just the beginning.”
“I still don't get it.”
She grinned at me shyly and said, “It's how you've always been. Everybody would dumb themselves down to what they thought was 'my level'. You did the opposite, and it made me feel like you really wanted me around, instead of just putting up with me. It was like you knew I could keep up, so you didn't hold back. And I did keep up, with everything. And I realized I always want to do that. I wanted to be with you, and talk to you, and share things with you. I love the way you see the world.”
I took a deep breath, trying to handle the emotions her words conjured, and said, “It just seems too good to be true. Nobody has ever cared about me that much. I don't know what to do with it. Even now, I'm still expecting this all to be a joke.”
“See? You're doing it right now,” She offered, smiling at me from where her face lay propped on her hand, elbow on her lap, “You are open and sincere. Even with the bad stuff, or things you don't like.”
“That's just pathetic.” I said, beginning to feel a little ill.
“No, it's genuine.” She insisted.
A knot of black acid was building in my stomach at her unfiltered praise and acceptance. I knew the feeling, and fought it mightily within. But there were too many triggers setting loose, too many walls crashing down from years of shielding myself against things like she was saying. Growing up, I'd had to. When your mother is all you have, and she's only there sometimes, and even then she's as likely to yell and blame as to offer you meager praise or fleeting tenderness, you quickly learn to shut down things like this before you can get hurt.
“Genuine?” I blurted, trying to constrain the welling surge of what threatened to break through right now, “I'm a basket case. I don't have a family. I barely have a home. Whatever you think is so great about me is nothing but a byproduct of one screwed-up individual. The worst mistake you could make would be to think I'm worth anything. And don't you dare pity me. I can barely stomach it from your parents. I can't take it from you. Just try to get it through your head, if you're so capable and advanced: I'm not worth it.”
Ellie stared at me, eyes wide and intense as she slowly lifted her head to look at me straight. I felt horrible for the outburst, but couldn't go back now. This was always the danger in digging too deep. My demons were barely beneath the surface, and required only the simplest of excavations for them to break free. I wanted to take it back and not hurt her, but it was too late.
Finally, she shook her head, tensed her jaw and said, “I don't pity you. But maybe you should stop pitying yourself.”
“What?” I asked quietly, an edge to my voice that I didn't like.
“Maybe you never saw me as anything more than a kid sister, but it wasn't the same with me. I've watched you for years, Jake. And I know when you're feeling sorry for yourself. All of that crap wasn't for my sake. You were trying to build up a nice bed of self-loathing to wallow in to get away. As much as I admire you and appreciate you, you do have one huge flaw. You're afraid of everything.”
I stared at the can of soda on the table before me, my vision pulsing with my heartbeat as Ellie's words sank in. She was right. I had no way to explain the little wizard's prescience, but boy had she hit the nail on the head, even though I was blind to it. My first instinct was to deny, deflect, save face. My second was to get angry and yell. But all of that crumbled like sand as I let her words sink in deeper.
I was afraid. I couldn't deny it, not around her. Her presence was like an emotional electromagnet, drawing forth everything from my deepest soul. Good or bad. Light or poison. Inevitably, no matter how I tried to put up my barriers or arguments, she made me face that fact, sitting and staring at a soda can. And once the reactionary urge to save face was past, I felt a hollow acceptance steal over me, a totally new feeling.
I wanted to give myself to her; put myself under her care. Let it all out. That was a dangerous thing, I knew. That way lies ruin and damnation for a man. I'd experienced similar with Amy, after growing too dependent. Nothing drives a girl away faster than a guy trying to make her his mom. I wasn't blind to the danger of that, and although I wasn't very good with people, I did understand psychology enough, at least on an instinctual level, to realize the peril in seeking a proxy for my mother. Or at least, someone onto whom I could dump my doubts, fears, insecurities, troubles.
Ellie would let me, at least for a while. If I wanted to, I could lay my head in her lap and cry like a baby right now, and she'd probably feel pleased by it. But I did have dignity, despite everything. And I cared for her enough to not put her in that position. Because it was dangerous for her, too. Whether as a brother or as...whatever the hell we were doing now, she needed to see strength in me, and resolve.
She needed that for her development into adulthood, as much as anything else. If her first crush turned out to be a simpering, broken train wreck, what would that do for her future image of men? Even in those more innocent days, even at my school, I'd run across the misandry displayed by the feminist types. These girls were damaged by something, and it had poisoned them. I just couldn't let that happen to Ellie because of my own weakness.
“Maybe I am,” I admitted finally, sitting up straight and taking a deep breath, “That doesn't put you off?”
“No,” She said firmly, “We can work on it.”
“Why do I get the feeling you're too good for me?” I asked, mostly to myself but my mouth said it aloud.
“Stop it,” Ellie said, “Seriously. Guys shouldn't put themselves down like that. It's not-”
I stopped her with a kiss. I couldn't have said why I did that, but before I was even aware of the desire, I had already taken her head between my hands and put my lips to her talking mouth. There was a brief moment of shocked hesitation, then Ellie melted into me.
She mirrored my hold on her head, and took my face between her hands as she returned my kiss. I felt her lips curl up into a smile against mine, and I pulled back momentarily to look at her. She was so close now, and I could lose myself in the tiny details in her big, bright eyes as they moved back and forth between mine. Her look spoke of expectant wonder, but also caution. Be a man, damn it. Lead.
I resumed, holding her this time with a hand behind her head for support, tenderly savoring the softness of her full lips. I didn't want to demand too much, leaving it for now at gentle pushes and brushes of lips, but Ellie had other ideas.
As if flipping a switch, she came alive like an electric shock. With a breathtaking ferocity, she thrust her hands into my hair for purchase, and let herself go like it was something she had been dying to do forever. She was forceful and passionate suddenly, and I felt my heart rate spike at the near manic energy. Her efforts were clumsy and inexperienced, but her fervor was incredibly exciting.
I relished the plush motion of her lips, even as she sometimes pushed too hard and our teeth bumped from behind the fleshy barriers. Her breath tasted of mint, and as our tongues began to explore as well, my mind seemed to crackle and spark as they brushed together for the first time. My stomach clenched as a wave of illicit desire stemmed from the base of my middle and ran up through my spine, leaving a tingling fuzz in my head.
I felt her low moan reverberate on my teeth, and Ellie repositioned herself even closer to me, languidly leaning into my chest as she chewed my lips with her own tender ones. Amy and I had made out before, passionately. But this...this was incredible. Ellie was raw, unconcerned with technique or appearance. She wanted me, and she had no filter on how to display her desire. I let her have her way, enjoying and indulging.
Her hands ran over me greedily; up my chest, around my shoulders, down my back, up my arms. I made sure not to return the exploration, as much as I wanted to. But her touches and gropes were gratification enough, and I felt a surge of pleasure every time she squeezed a part of me and exhaled a husky breath into my mouth.
Until she started pawing at my shirt. I allowed, and enjoyed her touches over my torso, but when she tried to grab the hem of my shirt and pull it off, my senses came crashing back to reality. I grabbed her wrist to stop her, and pulled away from the kiss.
She stared at me furiously, looking mouthwatering with her flushed face, messy hair, and wanton eyes, her small chest heaving and her mouth slightly open and glistening from our shared saliva. I came very close to jumping back onto her, more heated than before. But the magic of my foolish stunt had been tarnished, and I was beginning to feel the wary unease of guilt.
“What is it?” She demanded through heavy breaths.
“We need to slow down.” I said, still catching my own breath.
“Why?” She asked.
I sat in stunned silence for a moment, trying to figure out how to answer, “What do you mean, why? You were trying to strip me.”
“Yeah. And?”
“Ellie, for crying out loud!” I groaned in exasperation, “I get it; I'm easy to tease. You're surprisingly good at sexual humor, and I'm a perfect target. But I'm being serious here.”
“Jake,” She cooed, sweet as a mother soothing her baby, “I'm not teasing you. Literally the exact opposite.”
Well, that was technically true, I had to admit. But it made me more annoyed.
“Yeah, but...Ellie, what were you trying to do? We can't just get carried away like that. A kiss is one thing, but...” I couldn't make my words work right.
She took a deep breath and fell back against the couch. She crossed her arms and breathed heavily for a while, as if trying to calm herself down. Why was she so upset? After a while, the silence was painful, and I had to say something.
“I'm not trying to say I don't find you desirable,” I offered, “Believe me, I do. But you've got to understand.”
“Then why did you kiss me?” She asked, still annoyed.
“I don't know. I couldn't help myself.” I admitted.
She stared at me hard, then sighed heavily and sat upright again. Taking my hand in hers, she angled her body to face mine, and looked at me intently.
“When I said you didn't really know me, there was one thing I meant by that,” She began slowly, “It's embarrassing to talk about, but I think I can with you. I'm...not as innocent as you think I am.”
Sheer terror racked my being at her words, leaving me feeling like I'd been thrown into ice water, then into an inferno. My stomach clenched into a painful knot, and spikes of anxious panic coursed through my veins like wildfire. I felt like I might pass out. Ellie must have understood the look of devastation on my face, as her eyes got big as saucers, and she started fumbling to clarify.
“No, no! I...I've never done anything with anybody. I'm...a virgin. That's not...” She paused and looked off to the side, appearing so embarrassed that it almost hurt me for her, “Damn it, if you were anybody else...”
“Just hold on a second.” I asked her weakly, and paused to catch my breath.
I felt like a heart-attack had narrowly been avoided, and the tides of adrenaline still surging within me needed time to calm down. My hands were actually shaking a little, and I tried to sit back, stare straight ahead, and breathe until I could cool off.
“I'm sorry,” Ellie said miserably, “I didn't even think about how that would sound.”
“It's okay,” I said between deep breaths, feeling giddy now with the fresh surge of relief that comes after a near-miss, “But I think that took a year off of my life. Oh boy.”
“Just so you know, then. I haven't done anything, with anyone. At all,” She reiterated, slowly as if to prepare me for a blow, “But...”
She threw her head back then in annoyance and groaned in embarrassed discomfort. What could be such a big deal? She already said she hadn't even messed around.
“You don't have to-” I began.
“Yes, I do,” She said sternly, almost to herself, “It's important, because it has an impact on my life, and it sure as hell will if we get even closer.”
“Okay then,” I said, “But take your time. There's no pressure.”
She let go a sigh that transformed into a groan then said, “Look, I'm kind of a freak, okay? Like...sexually. I have been for a long time, even though I'm really good at hiding it. My body is...different, I guess. And even though I've never done anything with another person, it doesn't mean I don't want to. With you, I mean.”
It was rare to get a full-on crimson blush out of her, but she did it then, then buried her face in her hands, her hair falling over them like a golden curtain. How such an adorable, endearing expression could be paired with the words she'd just said was beyond a mystery. The irony, combined with my already stressed-out and frazzled condition, struck my funny bone somehow, and the sheer absurdity of it all collapsed onto me, sending me into a laughing fit.
The slow chuckle transformed into full, bellowing gales of laughter, like an engine going from a cold start to full rev. I howled, the emotional turmoil within me and the ridiculous oddity here serving as powerful fuel.
Ellie looked up and stared at me in disbelieving shock. The wide-eyed look on her pretty, flushed face made me laugh harder. I had entered one of those states where everything was funny, from the color of my shirt to the way the pillow sat on the arm of the couch. I didn't know if I'd ever get it under control.
When at last I finally did, the mirth slowly fading like a receding tide, Ellie sat staring at me with a cautious grin on her face. I really hoped my outburst hadn't hurt her feelings, but I couldn't have stopped it if I tried.
I panted for a bit, wiping the tears from my eyes and holding my aching side then managed, “Sorry.”
A few moments, and more composure later, I continued, “Wow, I don't know where that came from. I hope you didn't take that the wrong way; I wasn't making fun of what you said. Well, not really.”
“Okay.” Ellie said quietly, still bemused.
“I mean, you looked just like one of those girls from those animes you watch. All shy and everything. But what you said...such a contradiction. The irony was too much. I'm sorry.”
I looked back to Ellie and saw her demeanor change yet again. She was looking at me, eyes narrowed, doing that ludicrously seductive lip gnawing, looking for the world like she wanted to devour me.
I shook my head in wonder and composed myself, saying, “Thank you for sharing something that personal. It means a lot that you trust me enough to say that.”
“Barely,” She said coquettishly, “Don't make me regret it.”
“You know we can't...go that far, right?” I asked, finally deciding to tackle this important point.
“That's all you've got to say?” She asked, “After what I said, that's all?”
I shook my head and said, “Not by a long shot. But we need to get this point clear and established before anything else.”
“Right, right,” She said dismissively, “I can't rob you of your virtue. I get it.”
Shit. She didn't know I'd slept with Amy. I suddenly felt like trash, as I tried to figure out how to break it to Ellie. Although, I didn't see why it should even matter. We would not be having sex, or anything close. I was resolved to that. Maybe it still made me a creep and a cradle-robber to even do what we had already, but I would not be adding to those transgressions. Unfortunately, as it so often did, Ellie's observant insight seemed to snatch the problem away from me.
“Wait...you've done it,” She realized aloud, her face draining of color as she put it together, “With Amy. Of course.”
A flash of anger swept over her, fiercer than anything I'd ever seen on Ellie. But almost as fast, it was gone, replaced by an effort to look outwardly calm and cool. But within her expressive eyes, I could read the pain and betrayal. I understood that what she was going through was a condensed rehash of what she told me she'd dealt with when I first got with Amy.
Right now, Ellie was in the phase of trying to remind herself that she had no claim over me back then, and no right to be angry or hurt over what I'd done. But one can't simply reason with emotion. The very idea is absurd.
“Yeah,” I admitted, feeling wretched.
She nodded absently, her eyes looking eerily blank. I took both her hands in mine and forced her attention.
“Listen to me. I've had sex a total of two times, okay? The first doesn't even really count, since I barely got going before...nevermind. And the second time, we got interrupted by her brother showing up out of nowhere. That's the grand total of my experience,” I said, making sure she met my eyes as I spoke and that she paid attention, “But above all that, the fact is that I don't care about her, or any of the messing around we did. There is no value in any of that. It's not important.”
“Jake, don't do that,” She said quietly, “Don't devalue your experiences for my sake. Please.”
“I'm not,” I insisted, willing steel into my voice so she'd believe me, “There are things I do value about being with Amy. But the clumsy, bad sex isn't one of them.”
Part of me wondered why I was trying so hard to make her understand this, especially since I was certain our relationship wouldn't be remotely sexual any time soon. And just like that, I realized that I was actually entertaining the idea, if only on a properly long time-frame. Would there ever be an end to me breaking the promises and deals I made with myself? And once again, Ellie's uncanny astuteness manifested right along my line of thought.
“Jake?” She asked sweetly, “Why are you trying to convince me that it didn't mean anything before? Unless...you want to make sure our first time is special?”
Shit. I had no answer for that. She'd just struck the heart of what I was kicking myself over. How could I explain anything to her, when I didn't even understand it myself?
“That's not...” I began lamely, “I mean, maybe one day, but... I don't know.”
Her smile was serene and sincere, and she said, “It's okay. Don't get all flustered over it right now. It's enough that you understand me.”
I let out a bark of laughter and said, “I don't understand you at all anymore, Ellie.”
“You mean about how I'm a pervert?” She asked casually.
“Are you sure you want to talk about that stuff?” I asked, “It's pretty personal.”
“Yes, it is. And that should tell you something,” She said, “I've already put myself out there, so I'm not going back. It's up to you, now.”
“Well, what is there to talk about?” I asked, “You've got a high sex drive, I guess? Even though you've never done it. Is there more to it than that?”
She stared at me for a second then said, “I guess I don't understand you, either. I just told you I want to have sex with you, today even, if I had my way, and you're being so...clinical. How does it feel for me to say that?”
“I'm just trying to be good.” I said, my jaw clenched.
“I know, but how do you feel?” She insisted.
With a deep, steadying breath I said, “Like I can barely hold it together. I do want you. Badly. But I can't let myself do anything with you. Not yet; not for a while.”
She laid her hand on mine again and said, “Thank you for being honest, and I'm sorry you're in this position. I guess I have different ideas about what's right or wrong. I'm going to fight you on this, just so you know. So if you can't handle that-”
I cut her off, suddenly angry again, “What do you even know about it, anyway? If you're as inexperienced as you say, then you're just talking out of your ass right now. Maybe you're attracted to me, but that's a long way off of trying to fuck. You just can't do that! I know you, Ellie, you're not a slut. So quit acting like one.”
She slapped me across the cheek hard enough to make my ears ring and my vision spin into white for a moment.
“You are the last person who has any right to lecture about acting one way and talking another. If it hadn't been for you acting like you have this weekend, I never would have said a word about this. You kissed me, remember? And that was before I ever mentioned sex to you.”
She was fuming beside me, and I gingerly worked my jaw back and forth, trying to decide what to say. Once again, I had nothing, since she was right. Finally, I sighed and put my hands up in mock surrender.
“Sorry. You're right,” I admitted, “I've been a hypocrite, although I was trying not to be.”
Her anger seemed to fade somewhat, and she looked at me now, brows furrowed in determined thought, “I'm sorry I hit you.”
I almost laughed at how she said it, sounding like she was furious, despite the apology. She brought her hand up to where it had struck me, and tenderly stroked my cheek and jaw. Despite the still-stinging numbness, it felt nice. We said nothing for a while, just studying one another. Her eyes, so deep and intense, bloomed into their unusual glow, and I was transfixed.
Then a surge of some mad compulsion struck me like a battering ram, taking me utterly by surprise at the force and ferocity. It was like somebody else had access to by brain, and had just flipped several levers and pushed several buttons to trigger a response that hadn't been anywhere near the front of my thoughts. I fell upon Ellie, resuming our kiss with wild intensity and passion.
Somehow, Ellie took it as an inevitable progression, and before I was even touching her, she had loosened her body to melt into me flawlessly. This time, despite the heat of our affections, it wasn't near as desperate and erratic. Ellie behaved calmer now, as if she was getting exactly what she wanted and expected, and was just enjoying the play. She languidly fell back into the couch, her slender arms around my neck, pulling me down onto her.
And for my part, it was as if something inside me had been turned off in the 'guilty hesitation' department. I devoured her, and relished every second. She was a thing of unearthly beauty and sensuality, behaving suddenly like a woman twice her age. I didn't have it in me to question how or why, but just enjoyed it.
My hands explored her as we kissed, running over her thin and lovely neck, down her arms, entwining with her fingers. She looked and felt so small and sylphlike beneath me, filled to bursting with passionate energy and enthusiasm. The press of our bodies together made me thrill with desire. She seemed custom-molded to me, and she writhed so deliciously.
At one point, Ellie stopped and pulled back enough to look at my face. This time, I was the annoyed one for her stopping. I stared at her, panting and drinking in the sight of her on her back, under me, utterly submissive. She studied me for a second, her face flushed and mouth open in a sensuous grin.
“I promise I'll be good, okay?” She said between heavy breaths, “So let me enjoy this, at least a little?”
I had no idea what she meant, but my foggy mind couldn't stop and think. My own teenage drives were overloading, and all I could do was nod my head. Her grin became wicked, and she grabbed at my shirt once more, trying to bunch it up and pull it off. With a low laugh I went ahead and sat up, grabbed the hem, and pulled it off of me in one fluid motion, before discarding it on the floor.
Ellie's reaction was powerfully gratifying for my ego. Her eyes burned as she blatantly appreciated my torso, she gnawed her lip in that sexy way, and unabashedly thrust up her hands to touch me, running all over and following the lines and contours of my athletic body. I allowed myself the arrogance, for once.
I'd worked my ass off to put on muscle, and although it was nothing one might find in a magazine, I was proud of what I had. Besides, I knew that to girls, a masterful physique didn't really matter. Give them a lean abdomen, rounded shoulders, and a proportionately developed chest and back, and they would love it.
Ellie certainly did. She molested me with her hands, seeming intent on covering every square inch, before she shifted so as to sit up. She began kissing my neck, shoulders, chest, sending deliciously warm tingles through me at each contact of her lips and flick of her tongue. Her hands went behind my back and kneaded and stroked. It felt incredible, and I sat still as she enjoyed me, save for my own hands trailing gently over her and in her hair. I hoped she really wouldn't push too far, since I was no longer sure if I could stop myself.
Eventually, she pulled away and repeated my moves to remove her own shirt. I held my breath, my eyes feeling like they might fall out of their sockets. A small, ever-receding voice inside begged me to stop, but it was tragically easy to ignore. And as I saw the pale flesh of her stomach revealed from the rising shirt, that bit of conscience was banished utterly.
I knew what she looked like in a bathing suit, having just seen the mouthwatering display yesterday. But the totally different context of this situation, plus the fact that it was a bra she wore instead of a bikini top, conspired to nearly make me pant like a dog. She watched me quietly, actually looking a little self-conscious, which was ridiculous, if terribly cute. Ellie had become a knockout in many ways, but not least with her figure.
She was still slim and lithe, with perfect hints of curves, not quite developed, but enough to break up the long, supple lines of her body deliciously. Her breasts were small still, but the suggestion of cleavage revealed between the cups of bra as her nervous arms pushed together was angelic. Long, thin arms ran up into a narrow set of shoulders, and her delicate collar bones begged to be kissed.
I moved slowly, so as not to scare her, although I knew it probably wasn't necessary. At first, all I did was run my hands up and down her arms, making eye contact with her. I loved the way my gentle touches rose patches of goosebumps beneath my fingers.
“Are you sure you're comfortable with this?” I asked.
The look of hesitation I'd seen in her did give me pause, even when nothing else had. I suddenly worried that she might feel pressured or obligated to move forward by what she'd told me, even if she changed her mind.
Ellie nodded, “Yeah, I'm sure. It's just...I know I'm not much to look at. You've gotten all hot now, and I still look like a kid.”
“No,” I said softly, running a gentle hand under her jawline, then down her neck before resting it on her shoulder, “You're perfect. I wouldn't change you for anything.”
That made her smile demurely, dipping her head in embarrassed pleasure. The look was priceless for its endearing effect on me, and my worries were assuaged. I took Ellie's offer for reciprocation and began to gently touch her. I was nowhere near as forceful and wanton as she had been, but the tender caresses I lavished on her seemed to drive my desire for her to a new level. I also made sure to be relatively chaste, and stay away from her breasts.
But that didn't diminish how good it felt to wander with light, sweeping fingers and hands over her shoulders and arms, across her sternum, down her sides, over her tender belly, around the delicate flare of waist, up her back. Her skin was incredibly soft silk under my fingers. She closed her eyes and enjoyed it, her mouth open slightly, small moans and gasps escaping occasionally, which made my blood boil with desire.
“You're perfect,” I repeated as I trailed my hands over her absently.
A small shudder coursed over her, her breath letting out in a little rush. New goosebumps rose beneath my fingers, and her already faint tinge of blush deepened from the praise.
“I always thought you were pretty,” I continued, “But it's like I never actually saw you. You're incredible, Ellie.”
I took one hand away from petting her and ran it up into her thick mane of golden hair, cradling the back of her head. I leaned down and kissed her again, tenderly this time and slowly. Then I moved my kisses down to her jaw, then her neck, just beneath her delicate ear. The scent of her hair cascaded over me. Ellie hissed in a breath, stiffened, and angled her head away from mine, so I could have better access. I took her gesture as permission, and continued kissing there; slow, thick presses of my lips, with an occasional swirl of tongue on her supple skin. I kissed behind her ear, along her hairline, back to her neck.
I took her earlobe into my mouth and playfully suckled it and flicked it with my tongue. That elicited a tremor from her and soft whimper, then I ran my tongue up behind her sensitive ear, which caused her to gasp and shudder. I folded my free arm around her waist tightly and drank in the sensation of her lithe muscles gliding just beneath her hot skin as she writhed from the pleasure I gave her.
Indeed Ellie was all but panting by now, her mouth agape, eyes hazed over with arousal. She looked purely erotic, and dangerously inviting to anything I might want to do to her. It was very hard to not imagine those possibilities. She smelled incredible, and hearing her breathe and moan into my ear as I kissed hers put me in mind of other activities we may do that could have us so close and passionate. Those were dangerous thoughts.
Ellie moved her head to whisper into my ear, “I'll keep my word, but you're going to have to finish what you started, at least.”
I pulled back and looked at her, her eyes intense, teeth set over her lower lip. What she said sent a chill through me, although I wasn't sure I understood. I could guess though, and that may not be advisable. Agile as a cat, Ellie spun around to lay back against me, and grabbed my hand.
“You need to feel something.” She said, voice low and husky, pulling my hand over her lap.
I tensed my arm to stop it, “What are you doing?”
She said nothing, but pulled even harder on my wrist. After a moment of hesitation I let it go. She was wearing a pair of baggy gym shorts, and the waistband gave no resistance as she shoved my hand into them. I hesitated, my hand resting on Ellie's hot, tight lower abdomen. I felt my instincts compel me to move the hand down and proceed with my inexorable damnation. But I didn't; not yet.
“It's okay.” Ellie urged me, her stomach lifting slightly as if to make my hand to slide down.
I slid it down. Lower. A shuddering breath escaped me when I realized that she wasn't wearing panties. Her svelte little body squirmed eagerly on my lap, her hips slowly twisting and thrusting with unthinking desire. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I felt my mouth go dry. The sheer eroticism emanating from this girl was maddening. I started getting a picture in my head about what she'd meant when she told me she was a sexual freak.
The picture wasn't complete though, until I reached my destination. I sucked in a sharp breath in shock as I felt my hand glide up her soft, prominent mons and dip over the smooth arc below. To say she was wet would be as much of an understatement as saying a tub of water was damp. Ellie was soaked – obscenely, ridiculously, impossibly, sopping wet. I almost laughed, wondering if she peed on herself. But I could tell right away from the slick, slimy consistency of her cream that this wasn't urine.
It was everywhere. Coating her labia, down over her butt cheeks, all around her inner thighs. It was cartoonish. But it was also the sexiest thing I'd ever encountered. My hand trembled as I swept over the thick slime, and it was all I could do to not violently dig into her like a beast. Ellie wasn't making it any easier. From the time I started exploring down there, she arched her back and let out a low whine, chasing my hand with her hips in an effort to force contact.
When I did gingerly lay my hand down, palm on her mons and my fingers gently running up her smooth, engorged labia, she let out a shuddering groan and gyrated her hips up hard into my hand, her head falling back to rest on my shoulder. At first, I thought she was acting. A mere touch couldn't do that to a girl, I knew. But when I looked down at her face and saw her eyes squeezed shut, mouth open in a rigid 'O', face flushed red, I knew it wasn't an act. My hand barely caressing her vagina had gotten her off. I watched with breathless fascination as she rode out the small orgasm.
When she recovered enough to speak, she said through panting breath, “Do you get it now? I've been like this for years. It's such a pain, most of the time. And when I'm around you, it gets so much worse.”
A deep residual shudder ran over her as she finished speaking. I tried not to move, unsure of whether I really should give in and pleasure her with my hand. Maybe all she wanted was to show me her...unique issue.
“So?” She finally demanded, “Are you going to help me, or do I have to take care of myself, right here on top of you?”
She humped up her hips again, trying to force contact with my hand. I relented with a shake of my head, and began sliding my hand down over her labia. The heat and wetness was insane. I was unsure what exactly she wanted me to do, so I tried to simply swirl my fingers over her clitoris. Seemed a safe bet.
Ellie went rigid, her voice letting go in a long, high whine. She squirmed in my lap like a speared snake, and the orgasm struck almost instantly. Incredible. She fell back into me, limp and panting.
“Fingers,” She murmured thickly, eyes still closed, “Put some fingers in. Please.”
“You sure? Mine are bigger than yours.” I asked, fighting the urge to just dive in.
She nodded quickly, her head still back on my shoulder as if dazed. I decided to play it safe, and only use one. Apparently, she was no stranger to playing with herself, so I felt certain there would be no hymen to contend with or anything. But still, I was cautious.
My hand glided over the tender, smooth flesh of her labia, then I tentatively dipped a finger past the lips, into the slightly open cleft at the bottom. It felt like I'd dipped the finger in molten silk, so great was the wet heat. With every move, she twitched, writhed, moaned, and clawed at my legs beneath her. The delicate folds of her tiny inner labia slid open at my slightest pressure, letting free a torrent of hot, slimy juices, which coated my hand and ran down.
My finger slid in without resistance, eliciting a sharp cry from Ellie. The poor thing was in an almost delirious state of pleasure already. I wondered what would happen if I kept going. Would she be okay? Despite the relatively mild concern, my own lust had full control now, and there would be no stopping my greedy play.
Indeed, I felt myself on the brink of release just due to the unbelievable sexiness of the situation. My aching erection strained against its confinement in my pants, and I knew there was no way Ellie didn't feel the hot, hard mass beneath her. With a shocking thought, I realized I could likely make myself cum if I wanted to shift around a bit to let it off. My own arousal was enormous, and the magical creature on my lap would make it that much easier.
But it was Ellie's treat for now. And I wanted to keep my burning lust fully intact as I savored the pleasure I gave her. So I set to work curling my finger into her slimy heat slowly, until it bottomed out at my knuckle. She was a furnace inside, and the textured walls around my digit seemed to slither, contract, and suck me in as if they had a mind of their own. She was incredibly tight, but in a good, elastic sort of way.
Ellie lurched and moaned deep and lustfully as I got the finger in all the way. Then I began to move it, in and out in a regular rhythm, feeling the gushes of her juices around my knuckles as she continued to ooze and spurt. She was losing her mind on me, and soon turned her head to face mine, took my earlobe between her teeth for a second, then simply moaned a high, keening whine into my ear as the next climax washed over her.
What exactly was she capable of, and how much would satisfy her, I wondered? I knew girls could cum multiple times, but with Ellie, each one only seemed to prime her for an even greater one to come. It made me wonder if I could ever keep up with her. That thought struck a devilish chord in me, and I felt my competitive side flare up. Added to that, I was all but crazy myself with the chemical onslaught raging inside of me, fueling my arousal and desire. I decided to start being proactive here. If she wanted me to 'help' her, let's see what I could do about that.
“That feel good?” I asked, low in her ear.
She shuddered and nodded.
“You weren't kidding about yourself,” I teased, running my free hand over her lower abdomen, even as my right teased a finger slowly in and out of her vagina, “You're a mess. But you know what?”
She waited to see if I'd finish, but when I didn't she asked in a breathy whisper, “What?”
Instead of answering right away, I pulled my finger out of her and used the two middle ones to scoop up as much lubrication as I could, before thrusting them both inside of her. This time, the tightness was very pronounced, and I could tell I was at the limit of what she could handle, even aroused and relaxed.
Ellie cried out in ecstasy as I bottomed out my fingers in her. I leaned my face into her neck and kissed my way up to her ear.
“I love it.” I breathed, and Ellie let go a loud moan as I spoke.
I started thrusting my fingers faster and faster, using my other hand to caress Ellie's neck and jawline and face. She was going crazy, actually screaming out and gibbering incoherent nonsense as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss kept her on a perpetual high of barely-endurable pleasure. I did my best to amplify it.
I kissed her, when she stopped moving long enough for me to do so, and otherwise whispered into her ear how incredibly sexy she was and how badly she made me want her. I wasn't any good at talking dirty, but I got the feeling I could have driven her wild by reciting the ABCs.
As for my fingers, I simply did what I'd read in some men's magazine a while back, and used a regular, fast rhythm, pulling in and up before pulling out. As she rode this orgasm, I felt the clenching of her vaginal walls clamp down so hard as to nearly shoot my fingers out. I had to curl them in rather forcefully to get back inside, and I felt the pulsing, undulating walls give only reluctantly as I ploughed back in. It made me worry that this might hurt her, but every time I shoved my way back in, her scream hit a high pitch, and she jerked rigid again, as if my forcing entry compounded her pleasure.
Several times, as my fingers neared the exit of her vagina, they would be cascaded by a small gush of fluid, which slicked everything up again and made my continued thrusting sound wet and gushy, and eased the friction considerably.
The amount of fluid she produced was unbelievable. I was starting to worry about her hydration. And it was scary, how long she seemed to ride this last, insane orgasm. When she finally began to taper down, I took my cue and gently pulled my fingers out of her. They fell out with a slight wet noise, and I gently rubbed around her labia and inner thighs for a moment before I retracted my hand, realizing that I didn't want it to be over.
No, I was thoroughly hooked now, I knew. I could spend hours just exploring her delicious little body and loving the pleasure I gave her. It felt so right somehow, like a symbiosis of perfect sexual harmony. And we had barely even begun. The prospect of more and further play with Ellie sent a shiver through me, and I knew that I would no longer be able to put up any pretenses of moral resistance or propriety. She had me.
Ellie's moans and gasps began to wane, instead replaced by a panting, gasping period of refraction. She heaved to catch her breath, coughed a few times in an odd way, and shivered with residual waves of pleasure. In a few moments, she turned slightly, threw her arms around me, and curled into my lap like a kitten, still shuddering occasionally. I held her, rubbing her hair and back while she came down. Then something occurred to me that nearly made me cry out aloud. That little bit of coughing Ellie had done just now triggered something familiar in me, and once I realized what it was, I was flabbergasted.
“No way.” I mumbled aloud, though I hadn't meant to.
Ellie made a curious noise from where her face was buried into my middle.
“You...on the way home yesterday. That was...” I stammered, the pieces falling into place and stunning me.
I felt her hair move against my chest as she nodded, and said, “Yeah. I was masturbating.”