The Story of Hanna/Memoirs of Princess Hanna - Page One
You were born during late springtime, or early summer, depending on how you look at it. The days were staring to get longer and warmer, and that day was a very fine day indeed. You've been told that on the day of your birth, your papa was so busy he never actually visited you and mama in the hospital. You always were just another child to him. No, that's not fair. He loves you. He always says he does.
You don't remember much from your early childhood, but apparently you've always referred to yourself in third person, way longer than you can even remember, even as a toddler. It probably stuck because your parents never scolded you about it when you were a baby. They only started scolding you after you began preschool, but rebellious as you were, you ignored their orders. Your teachers, friends or relatives couldn't convince you to change your ways either, but it never seemed to bother them anyway. Besides, you're not just any noble. You're the daughter of his excellency, a real princess. As far as status goes, you were head and shoulders above them, even as a five-year-old little girl, so they probably never thought they were in any kind of position to scold you.
It was around the time your preschool begun when started having strange dreams, reminding you of alien memories of events you've never experienced and of strange places you've never been to. They were memories of another person from another world, and they had invaded your dreams. It started out weird and scary, but you never told anyone other than your parents. You were still too young to sleep on your own, and you would often wake up during nights, crying, talking about your strange dreams. Your mother always just told you that scary dreams are normal part of the childhood, but you knew, these weren't nightmares. These were something much more meaningful.
And then, it wasn't just dreams anymore. When you were remembering things and thinking about answers to questions you didn't know an answer to, those memories invaded your thoughts as you were wide awake. They started becoming clearer, and as you got more familiar with them, you would stop waking up at night, and you would stop crying over your dreams and stopped talking about them with your parents. Yet, you still couldn't make much sense of them. Whose memories were they and why did you remember them? You didn't know, but these memories did help you in your early life, tremendously so. You knew things you shouldn't know, things nobody ever taught you, and thought of complex subjects most kids probably never think about deeply. Sure, they all float the questions: What is life, and what is death? What, if anything, is afterlife? Are we alone in the universe? Where do clouds come from? Well, that last question was something that was relatively easy to answer, but the point is, you really did think about all these questions deeply, despite being only five years old. You already had a mind of an adult, at least partially. These memories and changes in your personality couldn't change the biology of your brains which set a limit on your intelligence. You were also pure and innocent and not even self-conscious of your own sexuality, or lack thereof. It was a scary time for you to experience because you had no idea what to make of those memories and that knowledge, and it was visible to everyone, from your family to your friends. You weren't the same innocent, cheerful Hanna anymore. It was like you had become someone else.
As weeks and even months gone by, you continued to learn more about yourself and came up with a theory: You were originally a man who after death reincarnated as a girl in another world. Or maybe it's all just an illusion. You, to this day, have no way of knowing for sure, but all those memories are not a lie. Whenever they're your own or just something you just magically came to know for any other reason, you can't deny them.
What was for certain was that you weren't the same person anymore, but you were determined to keep your new knowledge a secret. You came up with the character of Hanna; an act, a character you always play, and still play to this very day. You had to do it because your memories had changed you and your personality. You had to make a conscious effort to maintain the character at first, but before long it became natural to you. The new Hanna is quite similar to the old Hanna you were before you started having dreams, so nobody could tell a difference, not even your family. All they could think was to just assume you returned to being normal. If only they knew how little they actually knew about you.
As far as your past life goes, you only remember little snippets and even years later, you're still learning. You don't have many dreams anymore, but you still learn new things about yourself from time to time. What you learn seems to be random and mostly out of your control, since you don't even know such basic information like your name, your exact age, what kind of family you had or how you died. You do know however that you were a man in at least in his thirties, but it could also be in eighties as far as you know. You were a geologist in your past life and also had a lot of interest in physics and chemistry. Because of all this knowledge from a modern, technologically advanced world, you know things that nobody else in this world knows - especially in regard to how the world itself works - and that's a very empowering thing. It's also why you started studying alchemy at the age of six, younger than any other child before you. Your parents were against it, and even your teacher didn't take you seriously at first. Alchemy is not like the other schools of magic after all. It's a very complex subject that requires intelligence and knowledge in the place of magical power and talent. Because of these differences when compared to spell- and witchcraft, alchemy is the perfect field of magical science for you, since you lack a talent in casting and have a miniscule - if not downright pathetic - manapool. You had to beg papa for a whole week to allow you to attend one lesson. And when you finally did, you quickly proved him and your teacher wrong. After the lesson it wasn't just you beg papa for more lessons, but also your teacher. Having seen your immense talent, he found himself bowing his head in front of the king.
Then there is another trait about you that makes you exceptional as a child, but for a completely different reason. The man you were in your past life was a pedophile. Not a sinister kind, but rather just a creepy old man helplessly in love with little girls. You were a man of virtue determined to never molest, or even touch a child in a weird way. Moreover, sexual depictions of minors and the world of fiction were enough to satisfy your sexual desires anyway. It didn't mean you didn't find real girls to be attractive as well, but you weren't interested enough to pursue them directly or view any kind of sexual content involving real children. You never wanted a real child to get hurt and was against child porn because of this. You always loved taking breaks from your university work to teach younger kids about science. There was just something heartwarming to you about working with kids, even though it was psychologically challenging at the same time. Luckily for you and everyone around you, you had a mind of steel and resolve of a champion.
It was just past your seventh birthday when you learned that you used to be a pedophile, and how ironic it is that you had become the thing you sexually obsessed over in your past life. Suddenly, just like that, a whole new world had opened to you, and what a naughty and exciting world it was. Not to say you are selfish or entitled, but you have always been a little bit of a narcissist who thinks highly of herself, especially when it comes to your appearance, but after that day, you weren't just a cute princess anymore. In your own eyes you were the cutest, the sexiest and the most beautiful little thing in the whole universe, or at least in the noble's district, if you were being more realistic. Fair and petite, bleach blonde princess, you had become the girl of your past self's wildest fantasies. From a girl who wasn't even aware of her own sexuality, you suddenly became extremely self-conscious of your body, especially your chest and genitals. From someone who had never had a dirty thought in her life, you turned overnight into a full-fledged nymphomaniac, and you loved it. You still remember that day as clearly as today when you faked sickness just, so you could stay in your room and masturbate all day. Did you overdo it? Yes. Do you regret it? Hell no! It was the best day of your life up until that point!
Well, despite becoming like that, you never actually went farther than using your fingers and maybe few foreign objects. You never broke your hymen, and to this very day, you've never made any sexual advances towards anyone. It's not like you aren't interested; Of course you are. The prospect of sex is something that has kept you awake countless nights as you have dreamed of making your fantasies reality. You really want to experience the joy of penetrative sex with a man, preferably long before reaching puberty, while you're still a child. You aren't really interested in girls anymore despite lusting over them in your past life. You can't explain why, but you're all about adult men and their dicks. Maybe your hormones and female brains affect your personality and tastes way more than you would love to admit. Alas, all those nights and dreams are nothing but that, a dream, because there's just no way there could be a man in the castle who would want to do it with you.
Or so you thought. Oh, how wrong you were.