User talk:Jebb06
User:Jemini
Hey, I just saw your story and thought I would offer a few pointers. 1st off, the technical side. On this site, you have to set up a database page for your story by writing "category:(name of your story)" with [[ brackets around it on EVERY page of the story. After you do that, in order to finish setting up the database, simply click on the red text in the gry box that will appear at the bottom of the page and write... well... anything. It doesn't matter what you write on that page, so long as it contains an internal link back to the 1st page of the story.
Now then, that 1st part is important. You really do have to do that if you're writing on this site. The rest of what I'm about to say is something you can say either take it or leave it.
1st off, the power your character has. It sounds like you pretty much gave them the ability to do anything. A quick tip, if you want the power to be interesting, a power is made more interesting by what it CAN'T do rather than what it can. A story Elerneron created that I have contributed a lot to by the name of Life Hacks likely has the most OP power imaginable given to the main character, but it is still made interesting because while it is probably capable of actually doing more than the power your character's power has, it also has a LOT of limitations. So, your story would be improved a lot by simply thinking up some logical and reasonable limitations to your character's power. Brainwashing people with your cum is a great power from a story perspective because it has the limitation of having to somehow get it in the target's body. Warping reality to your will is not a good power story wise, at least if it is left at that without any additional limitations. Going back to Life Hacks, warping reality with a special program from a higher dimension because this world is just a computer program is great because, despite being god-tier powerful, it still comes with a whole host of limitations. Simply saying "warp reality" without a method which comes with naturally implied limitations though is not so interesting.
2nd, it would be good to hear more about what your character is thinking and how they are reacting to this new power. Perhaps have them freak out a little, maybe deny their power a bit at first, have the experimentation process go slower and bring the reader along for the ride. Things like this humanize your character and also gets the reader more invested in the character.
3rd, add more details. Longer sections with more details are naturally going to be more interesting. That's advice you will get from every writer on the planet. As for writing on this site, there is a sweet spot of between 3000 characters and 7000 characters that I have noticed is the most interesting on this site's format, but it is better to be over than under and there are few if any situations in which less than 1000 characters will be good.
Jemini (talk) 21:19, 17 July 2018 (CEST)
Elerneron
As your story Pedo's Dream allows for both straight and gay interactions, it belongs in Meta Stories not [[]Loli Stories]]. Loli Stories is for Straight Shota, Straight Loli and Yuri Loli content only. The possibility of Yaoi content requires it to be in a more open section of the site. --Elerneron (talk) 10:13, 1 January 2021 (UTC)